WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 10 ARTISTS OF TOMORROW FESTIVAL Just in time for the ...

b>NOVEMBER 10

ARTISTS OF TOMORROW FESTIVAL

Just in time for the Fall Collection's last week (see p. 43 the remaining schedule), the Six Figures Theatre Company steps up with a five-week festival offering 18 projects and more than 40 performances over the next five weeks. Since 1990, Six Figures has developed and supported emerging female theater artists, so it's no surprise that festival highlights include One Woman Weekend (begins Nov. 19) and Funny Women Weekend (Dec. 3). Performances will be held at the West End Theater; the complete schedule is available at sixfigures.com. 263 W. 86th St. (betw. B'way & West End Ave.), 212-946-1737; call for times & prices. [through Dec. 11]

GRAVID WATER

Stephen Ruddy, while studying at Atlantic Theater Company and the Upright Citizens Brigade, was struck by the similarity between modern acting and improv theory. So he decided to combine the two into one experimental show. Gravid Water consists of five contemporary dramatic scenes (Woody Allen, Thornton Wilder, Martin McDonough, et al.) performed onstage by actors and improvisers. The actors, all experienced stage performers, will know their lines; the improvisers, Christina Gausas and Anthony King, must improvise, with no prior knowledge of the scene. Galapagos, 70 N. 6th St. (betw. Wythe & Kent Aves.), Williamsburg, 718-782-5188; 8, free.

BR5-49

It hasn't always been an easy road for those monsters of rockabilly, BR5-49. But for all the career highs and lows, the one thing that's never suffered is the music; they remain one of the tightest, loudest, drunkennest hillbilly bands of their (or anyone else's) generation. And they're back, with a couple new members and a new album that again proves they are the enigmatic, half-mythical missing link between Hank Williams and the Ramones. It's a rare treat to see them live, and an even bigger treat to see them play live for free. Rodeo Bar, 375 3rd Ave. (27th St.), 212-683-6500; 10, free.

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 11

INTERPOL

At this year's RNC, the Bush twins had us believe first that they had a sense of humor, and second, that when they told mom and dad they were going to see OutKast, the first couple knew the hiphop duo was in fact "a band and not a bunch of misfits." Will similarly hilarious hijinks ensue when Jenna and Babs tell mom and dad they want to see Interpol tonight at Hammerstein Ballroom? Will W suspect his girls of being involved in a misguided plot to investigate their own father for the countless murder charges he could face in any of the countries he's helped paint red over the last four years? Or will he and Laura just take a sip of motor oil and laugh, knowing that the girls simply wanted to see the most overrated, disgusting and vapid 80s rip-off ever to make a mint off the local indie-rock scene? Both band and president are celebrating sophomore efforts this week, hoping to sound less like Joy Division and a bloodthirsty, Bible-clutching, dope-fiend redneck crook, respectively. Pray they both go the way of Ian Curtis. 311 W. 34th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-485-1534; 7:30, sold out.

GATO BARBIERI

Gato Barbieri brings his tenor sax and a journeyman's musical fluency to the Iridium Room, tonight through Sunday. From big-band days in Buenos Aires with Lalo Schifrin (who would score Dirty Harry and Mission Impossible), Barbieri came to New York and blew out on Don Cherry's Complete Communion, in duets with Dollar Brand, and on Carla Bley epics. He wrote and played the Last Tango in Paris soundtrack for Bertolucci, then returned to roots and soft styles-though when his arcing, brawny lines juice the smooth jazz rotation, one'd think redemption possible anywhere. 1650 B'way (51st St.), 212-582-2121; 8 & 10, $30-$35.

FRIDAYNOVEMBER 12

GOTHAM GIRLS ROLLER DERBY

Dubbed "Beat Down in the Boogie Down," this first-ever exhibition of New York's only all-female roller-derby league pits the Manhattan Mayhem against the Brooklyn Bombshells. Supposedly, there are rules, but just let that referee try and break up a fight. You'll have us to answer to afterward in the parking lot. Skatekey, 220 E. 138th St. (Canal Pl.), Bronx, 718-401-0700; 8, $12, $10 adv.

TRASH AND ROLL

Roaring, barking, tremblingly loud. Northern California's Trash and Roll built a one-band blues-rock revival before that two-tone poser duo from Detroit (we won't mention any names) were still using guitar picks to catapult snot at each other across the room in phonics class. They come with foot-stomping rhythm and guitar that'll rip your guts out and leave your soul spinning bleeding and alone but contented in that "my woman done left me but I shot her back-door man down" sorta way. The Royal Oak, 594 Union Ave. (N. 11th St.), Williamsburg, 718-388-3884; 10:30, free.

CHARM SCHOOL

It should be clear by now that most of New York Press are uncouth, ill-behaved louts: We spit, we curse, we flout the time-space continuum; some like to chew gum and whistle at the same time. Hopefully for us, we can learn some (bad) manners at Charm School, a weekly party that tonight features a naughty cooking lesson and the Rinse, an indie, rock-pop quintet from Brooklyn. DJ's Guy and Michael Cavadias spin and go-go boys and girls dance, while we get thrashed at the open bar (from 10 to 11) and contemplate the finer things in life. The Darklight, 366 8th Ave. (betw. 28th and 29th Sts.), 212-279-8628; 10, $7.

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 13

CHENGWIN VS. CHUNK

Before you head down to Subtonic for Homecoming 2004: The Chengwins vs. The Chunks, pick a side. Chengwin, the half-chicken, half-penguin is the good guy. Chunk, half-chicken, half-skunk, is the evil foe. For five years, these larger-than-life rivals have battled bitterly for the affection of Chove (half-chicken, half-dove-you up to speed yet?), in various live street events that are documented on the DVD The Anatomy of Chengwin, Vol. 1. (The supporting cast includes the corrupt Chixon and dimwitted Chabio-figure them out for yourself). This afternoon, head to Subtonic for drinks, music by DJ Spinoza and-fingers crossed-a beak-breaking confrontation that just may decide the fate of Dr. Moreau-inspired barnyard hybrids everywhere. 107 Norfolk St. (betw. Delancey & Rivington Sts.), 212-358-7501; 5, call for price.

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 14

NAI-NI CHEN DANCE COMPANY

When we were little kids, we couldn't help but stare with innocent fascination at the performers engaged in the Chinese dance in Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite. Now bitter, liberal-arts graduates whose minds have been turned to raisins by post-colonialist theory, we find ourselves decrying this sort of Orientalism as a demeaning objectification of "the other" by a white, European, patriarchal society-very much against our will. Choreographer Nai-Ni Chen and the Tribeca Performing Arts Center Family Series bring the real thing: a program of seven traditional and contemporary dance theater pieces ranging from a Peking Opera-style enactment of an epic battle to representations of fairy tales and Tao philosophy. Tribeca Performing Arts Center, 199 Chambers St. (betw. N. End Ave. and Greenwich St.), RSVP 212-220-1460; 1:30, $14.

MONDAY NOVEMBER 15

MANDANA HOVEYDA

Attention, single men! Looking for a sure-fire way to meet women? Consider this: Mandana Hoveyda will be reading from her advice guide, I'm Fine: A Really Helpful Guide to the First 100 Days After Your Breakup at Barnes & Noble in Park Slope tonight. If you can't find at least one vulnerable, dewy honey at this event, then you're not trying hard enough. 267 7th Avenue (6th St.), Park Slope, 718-832-9066; 7:30, free.

SAFE HORIZON FUNDRAISER

Safe Horizon, the nation's leading nonprofit victim assistance and advocacy organization, helps more than 350,000 victims of crime in New York every year. They've been providing support, preventing violence and promoting justice for victims, families and communities throughout the five boroughs since 1978. So what does Safe Horizon do when they want to get down and raise some funds? Why, salute the cast of NBC's Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (the one with Richard Belzer)! With live appearances of cast and crew comes tapas and music, wine and spirits. Crobar, 530 W. 28th St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-629-9000; 6:30, $250.

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 16

REFLECTED LIGHT II

Odd couple Dan Aykroyd and Robert Kennedy Jr. are among the hosts for the Riverkeeper's second annual photo auction, where works by more than 100 contemporary photographers, including giants Annie Leibovitz and Timothy Greenfield-Sanders, will be auctioned off at furious speeds. Proceeds help protect the ecology along the Hudson. Boylan Studios, 601 W. 26th St., 14th fl. (11th Ave.), 212-924-7550; 6:30, $100.

BLOOD RED SUN

Finally, a band out of New York that are not bed-headed Strokes clones. These guys wail, blending old-school riffs with radio-friendly chops. Plus, they've got the best female drummer this side of Meg White. Wait a sec, Meg White sucks. No matter, Blood Red Sun's currently working on a new CD with producer Adam Lasus (engineer for PJ Harvey and Yo La Tengo) and no, they're not named after the Graham Salisbury book. Pianos, 158 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-505-3733; 8, $8.

Contributors: Laurel Angrist, Lionel Beehner, Andrew Edwards, Shaina Feinberg, Jim Knipfel, Jeff Koyen, Alan Lockwood, Sean Manning, Hector Meza, Dan Migdal and Travis St. Clair.