Q&A with Butthole Surfer Gibby Haynes

Gibby Haynes

For the past two decades Gibby Haynes has led a pack of Texan degenerates, poetically dubbed the Butthole Surfers, into infamy. From shaking the boards in Southern barrooms to blowing minds on the first Lollapalooza tour to rock 'n' rolling kids around the nation, the Buttholes relish their status as the most wonderfully offensive, unapologetically bawdy, defiantly unique band in the land.

Their first album in five years, Weird Revolution, recently released by Disney subsidiary Hollywood Records, features pseudo-political nonconformist rants, scratch DJing and a cameo from Kid Rock, proving once and for all that the boys can still be counted on to deliver the unexpected.

What have I been doing? Christ, I can't even remember. Well, you know, difficulties, changing labels and lawyers, that sort of external shit. I've been making music at home with computers and cool software and stuff.

What's a day in the life of Gibby Haynes entail exactly?

I usually meet at about 8 o'clock in the morning with a bunch of crazy people. Then I come back home and play with my dog, Mr. Cigar. And then I've just been fucking around and making noise. It's good to work with other people?I don't work well by myself?but it is hypnotizing, staring at that screen. The kind of stuff that's become available in the past five years is like wow, now you can do this.

What do crazy people do at 8 in the morning?

Oh, you don't want to know.

I'm guessing it's a good way to start the day.

Yeah, it's better than a methadone clinic, I'll tell you that much!

Are you plotting the weird revolution?

That's right. You have to be the early worm. The early worm catches the bird and little does the bird know! You've got to get up at the same time as the bird if you want to be caught! The early bird catches the worm; the question is, what worm does the early bird catch?

Tell me about Kid Rock.

Bob Ritchie is an evil, racist, misogynist, drug addict, alcoholic, right-wing deer hunter that puts scotch tape over kittens' eyes. That sums it all up. He's materialistic, he's just a jerk to be around, he's foul-mouthed?I wouldn't put in my hand what comes out of his mouth. And he can take what comes out of my mouth and stick it up his ass! Bob Ritchie is so stupid it is unbelievable the friends he keeps.

No. Bob's a great guy, he's fucking hilarious. He's really good. He wanted to use a Butthole Surfers sample and we said, yeah, sure, you can have it for free, like idiots. So then I thought, well, why don't we get Bob to help out on the album? I went to his show, and it's not exactly my cup of urine, but I felt so bad because I was actually tapping my foot to the cover of "We're an American Band."

Oh, the guilt!

It was horrible! But when they rolled down the American flags and the sparklers and the tittie dancers and start singing, "We're an American band," I couldn't resist. But he's a great guy, a real performer. In fact, if you want a picture of Bob Ritchie all you need is a camera?I think all cameras get sold with Bob Ritchie standing in front of them.

Twenty years ago, did you have any idea you'd still be doing this?

Fuck no, hell no! I couldn't have predicted the future. It was not expected.

You guys are the father figures of fringe music.

I think we're more like the grandfather, slightly less important.

Everyone likes Granddad better.

That's 'cause they never see him.

What did you think you were gonna be when you grew up?

In college I based my education on possible income. I had no clue. Obviously I'm still clueless, but if it's possible to be even more clueless, I was. I'm really jealous of the people who can turn down money and say, "I'm gonna do what I want to do."

So you did all this to be rich and famous?

Basically it was like, "They're not gonna let me in their club, I'm gonna have me my own!" And eventually I fooled myself into thinking I could create my own reality and fuck everybody else. It was great. Now I'm paying the price.

Do you listen to radio around the world, around the country? You ever notice that the, let's say "alternative radio stations," you know the ones, the playlists of all of them are exactly the same? Could it be that the 20 or 30 songs on those lists are the best ones out there? That all those radio stations around the country just happened to independently come to this conclusion, that these are the songs to play? And indeed they have come to this conclusion, independently! Via the world of independent promoters! I was talking to a record label exec the other day and I said, "How do you get a song on the radio?" And his eyes beaded left and his eyes beaded right and then he looked at me and said, "Basically?we buy it!"

The truth at last!

I was like, "What do they get? Snow tires? Microwaves? Cocaine? Killer bud?" And he looked at me again and said, "Oh yeah, and hookers too!" I wish I could say it was somebody on our label, but it wasn't.

Maybe you could get some radio play if you had the guy with the hookers.

It's true! Supposedly it's estimated that independent promotions companies get over 100 million bucks a year. So the record companies shell out this cash. I'm not complaining that our record doesn't get airtime, I'm not really bitter about that. What I'm bitter about is the quality of radio. I'm an old fucker. When I was growing up you had album-oriented shit on the radio and if you liked it, you fucking went out and bought it. I mean, how do you find good music? You go to the record stores and what do you do?

Maybe it is time to plot the weird revolution. Change is afoot.

I think something cool is going to happen. I've talked to radio people who were like, "Yeah, it sucks, but that's good because that means something's about to change." I really hate to be like sour grapes. But I am looking forward to a change.

Do you think this album will help usher in that change?

Nah. Maybe our next record. But I don't think there's anything weird or revolutionary about our current one.

Why not?

I don't know, it just isn't. It's an all-right record, though. I think it's pretty good.

But not good enough to shake things up.

No, I think we were in too much of a bind. We were way behind, we were looking to make a deal.

In the immortal words of Charlie Daniels, American poet.

Chuck Daniels. That's right. Basically the people who work at major record labels are nice and sweet and they want the best for you and it's hard when you're working for a major corporation to do anything out of the norm. People invest a bunch of money in you and you feel like you have to give them what they want. You shake hands, you make a deal. Hopefully you're both satisfied and you go happily on your way. Unfortunately, a lot of times you get cheated. I felt the need to try to do what would sound commercial.

Particularly since you're shaking hands with Disney.

It's not really Walt, though, it's Mickey. And what Mickey says, goes, that's the bottom line. You don't fuck with Mickey.