Party Time In 2009!

  The most-hyped, least-enjoyed night of the year is almost here, but don’t let layoffs and money woes curb your need to get a little crazy. It’s been a stressful few months, so we figure you deserve all the booze, sex and dance-floor transcendence you can get. And house parties are going to be the big winner this year. Eating is the necessary foreplay for alcohol appreciation, and this year you may even be able to enjoy a few dishes that you hadn’t previously considered.

Restaurateur and chef Charlie Statelman (of Williamsburg’s Wombat and Cobble Hill classic Café on Clinton) says that a nice pork shoulder or roasted ham is your best bet for tastiness, affordability and general versatility. “Roast pork—that’s always nice,” he says. “You’d probably get one for about $35-$40, and you could feed 20 people with it. And it makes the apartment smell really nice if you roast it with garlic and spice.”

And for those who are scared of their kitchens, the chef promises it couldn’t be simpler—even with a few early drinks under the belt. “It’s so easy,” he explains. “Salt it, season it, put it in the oven at 350 degrees for three or four hours and you could feed an army.” Statelman recommends meatloaf for munching as well, giving particular kudos to a new recipe he’s been working on. “Inside is bleu cheese, ham and spinach—and then I roll it in bacon.” He also mentions that you may be surprised with what is affordable these days. “Oysters are inexpensive right now,” he says. “A lot of luxury items have come down in price: lobsters are $5 and change.”

In terms of booze, you may want to focus on a theme: a good champagne cocktail would work, or perhaps a favored spirit. “That’s a big trend, people love the high-end drinks,” he says, explaining how you may want to get a bourbon or vodka theme happening to give your party a little structured oblivion.

But what are eats and alcohol without a pumping soundtrack? DJ Lauren Flax says you’ve got to be at one with your tribe. “Reading the crowd is probably one of the most important things,” she says. “Chumbawumba might kill it at 3 a.m. when people are good and drunk, but you might get some eye rolling at 10:30.”

Pacing is also integral to your playlist. “It’s best to work up to the ‘bangers,’” explains Flax. “Start off slower on the BPM and work your way up, peaking around 1:30 a.m.” So too, tequila—“the only upper of alcohols”— is the required nectar for dance floor longevity she says, mentioning her particular fondness for Patrón.

But be it tunes or drinking, you’ve got to rise to the beat and honor the tools you’re working with, rather than hitting the toilet bowl early.

Flax knows plenty of revelers will be gobbling drugs, but she reminds us, fun isn’t always found in tablet form. “What ever happened to the good old champagne toast at midnight? Stay classy…” And New Year’s sex? With a bellyful of pork and a bloodstream full of Patrón, we’re sure you’ll be able to find the power within…