Who's Been Naughty & Nice in 2010

Each year we take a look back to see who messed up and who made us happy. Here's our eclectic mix of both.

NAUGHTY

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The Geese Killers (Fowl Fiends)

It’s one thing to blame the geese that were minced in Captain “Sully” Sullenberger’s giant jet engine propeller for causing Flight 1549 to crash land into the Hudson River. It’s quite another to begin a covert, statewide mission to exterminate two thirds of New York’s Canada goose population. This summer “wildlife biologists” gathered 400 geese from Prospect Park Lake and gassed them to death with carbon dioxide, in what appears to be the first round of Canada geese killings. But the story gets better, because it was one particular goose, a crossbow victim, that stole headlines: While this honker had avoided the first round of euthanasia, an anonymous archer managed to launch an arrow through its neck without killing it. Park rangers failed on multiple attempts to capture the impaled bird, leading us to wonder how wildlife biologists managed to collect 400 geese for mass execution but park rangers couldn’t catch one to save its life. We suspect subterfuge or dastardly PR stratagem—or both. The good news is, if Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds becomes reality, Canada geese will have a hard time pecking our eyes out.

The Kardashians (The Fame Whores)

The only thing worse than their E! reality TV show is the Kardashian sisters’ East Coast takeover. In the last few months, the Ryan Seacrest protégés hauled their growing media niche of big-assed stupidity from L.A. to Soho. The sisters endlessly enforce mom Kris Jenner’s advice of promoting the Kardashian brand until they die—or at least until their boobs sag. They are solely responsible for excessively long lines around the city, particularly on Spring Street, where they opened clothing store Dash, dubbed an “overpriced theme park” by fashion critics. After tainting the fashion world, the trio insulted literary enthusiasts when they caused winding lines around the Barnes & Noble on Fifth Avenue for a book signing. Yes, they “wrote” a book. For some reason, Lauren Conrad’s didn’t get under our skin as much, possibly because The Hills star didn’t follow up her publishing feat by unveiling a prepaid credit card with her face on it. The Kardashians will further embarrass us with their upcoming show, Kim and Kourtney Take New York. Unfortunately we’re pretty sure the shameless behavior will continue through the new year.

Darleen Scherer & Carol McLaughlin (The Bitchy Witches)

Park Slope was rocked by controversy this past spring when the entire staff of beloved joe joint Gorrilla Coffee [quit en masse]. The reason Brooklynites couldn’t find a quality cuppa was because the now-former employees accused co-owner Carol McLaughlin of allegedly fostering a “perpetually malicious, hostile and demeaning work environment,” as stated in a letter to the [New York Times](http://www.nypress.com/blog-7570-new-york-times-ldruins-livesrd-of-gorilla-coffee-owners.html) and [The Brooklyn Paper](http://www.brooklynpaper.com/stories/33/44/dtg_gorillasuit_2010_10_29_bk.html). Too proud to admit any wrongdoing (or too dastardly to just say sorry), McLaughlin turned around and sued the Times for printing the “defamatory” letter and causing her emotional trauma. Her plot worked, as the Gorilla Coffee scandal invaded every corner of the blogosphere and made it into most papers. The Times has since filed a motion to dismiss the case, claiming the defendant cannot “use civil litigation to silence newspapers that publish opinions they disagree with.” It’s been a tough year for lots of folks, but some people can make it worse—not matter what sort of caffeinated drugs they’re slinging.

David Epstein (The Naughty Professor)

Of course David Epstein, the Columbia University political science professor accused of allegedly bedding his biological daughter for%u2028 three years, is innocent until proven guilty. We’re just baffled why, with practically unlimited access to a sea of hot, young%u2028 college gals, the 46-year-old dad was allegedly schtupping his 24-year-old daughter from 2006 to 2009. Incest is plenty wicked. Then there’s all that father-on-daughter sexting. Even worse, Epstein’s lawyer, Matthew Galluzzo, publically compared his client’s outrageous behavior with hot, sexy homosexuality. Thanks a lot, asshole: You just set the gay rights movement back about 50 years. It’s a slippery slope to both your houses, but Santa’s sleigh knows no bounds. Better watch what’s coming down your chimneys, you naughty boys! Expect a hefty lump of coal and firm kick in the pants from that burly bear-hunk in the fabulous red outfit. We all know the only real beard is Mrs. Claus.

Alastair Macauley (The Black Swan)

OK, it’s not like we don’t walk around all day bitching about the barely perceptible flaws of people who are prettier than us. We’d also be totally crazy not to support any journalist’s right to speak his mind, especially when that journalist has a great accent. But while we applaud Alastair Macauley for expressing an opinion, we still think he’s a Grade-A Grinch. The Times dance critic caused an uproar last month with his comment in a review of The Nutcracker that New York City Ballet dancer Jennifer Ringer, a new mom and recovering anorexic, “looked as if she’d eaten one sugar plum too many.” If you’re going to criticize a dancer’s body, at least let your readers know why it matters. Even the writers of the cheesy chick flick Center Stage handled this topic with more wit when Susan May Pratt’s character dropped the delightfully nasty line: “Her pas de deux partner’s going to need a crane to lift her.” Alastair, either step up your game, or leave the cattiness to the ballerinas.

Albert Trummer (The Burn Out)

The Apotheke bar co-owner was known for his liquorfueled pyrotechnics, often pouring booze on the bar and then setting it aflame. After performing his stunt on an episode of The Real Housewives of New York City, the fire marshal went undercover to arrest the Austrian mixologist. That was in June. Then Trummer did it again. Co-owner Heather Tierney followed up by suing Trummer for being a firestarter (although some reports claim she allegedly wanted him to do the stunt in the beginning to attract danger-seeking customers). Remember that old Morrissey maxim: There’s a special place in hell for me and my friends.

Julie Taymor (The Villainess)

If Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark featured animals instead of performers, the show would have been shut down ages ago. As it is, actress Natalie Mendoza had to take a leave of absence to recover from a concussion and stuntman Christopher Tierney is, as of this writing, under observation in serious condition after falling somewhere between 8 to 30 feet in the musical’s final moments. So at what point does common sense trump artistic integrity (and the bottom line)? A lot has been written in defense of director-writer Julie Taymor and how many people her mammoth show has employed, but those checks are coming at a huge loss for some employees. How are you supposed to endorse a paycheck when both your wrists are broken?

NICE ------

Tracy Westmoreland (The Wild Man)

It takes a great man to make Midtown safe for us. Thanks to the office drones crowding the bars for their Happy Hour Silver Bullets and the tourists packing the sidewalks, it’s rare that we’ll travel too far into the double-digit streets. But thanks to Tracy Westmoreland, the man who ran [Siberia]—the bar that started off in a subway station and eventually grew to gross and grimy infamy about which Westmoreland is now compiling a book—life above 14th Street is once again wild. Though he doesn’t own the place, Westmoreland is billed as “Minister of Propaganda” at The Sanctuary (314 W. 39th St., betw. 8th & 9th Aves., no phone), a bar that seems to channel the spirit of Siberia and Westmoreland’s last project, Prospect Heights uber-dive The Manhattans. Sure, the place is still clean, the bartenders are friendly and so is the entertainment—like punk and rockabilly DJs every Thursday night. Some might consider this setup respectable, but thanks to Westmoreland’s gift for attracting eccentrics and the bar’s already-established reputation as a haven from the horrors of Midtown, we have a feeling it might be his most popular venture yet. As the man himself said when asked what was special about the place, “It’s just a party, we don’t really need a gimmick.”

The Tiger Mountain Boys (The Bookers With Hearts of Gold)

Last June, [Jack ‘Skippy” McFadden], the much-loved talent booker recognized for both his friendliness and his glorious vision for our city’s indie music scene, lost his job with The Bell House and Union Hall. Luckily he soon moved on to booking gigs at [The Rock Shop](http://www.therockshopny.com/) and [Littlefield](http://www.littlefieldnyc.com/), but that just wasn’t enough do-good-ing for the guy who’s been called the “single nicest person in the entire business.” In November, it was reported that Skippy and fellow booking veteran Chris White teamed up to form the super-human talent buying duo [Tiger Mountain Presents](http://tigermountainshows.tumblr.com/). In addition to continuing work at The Rock Shop and Littlefield, Tiger Mountain has also become the primary booking force behind [Santos Party House](http://www.santospartyhouse.com/), giving the duo control over some of the most popular and exciting venues in town, and ensuring that New York will remain loud for the foreseeable future.

Josh Westfal, Corey Eastwood, Aaron Elliott & Troy Swain (Paper Heavyweights)

Remember that warm, sunny walk along Waverly Place, just above Washington Square Park, where all those long tables on the sidewalk featured some of the most obscure titles from Jim Thompson to Roberto Bolaño? Thanks to co-owners Josh Westfal, Corey Eastwood, Aaron Elliott—who peddled (and still peddle) books from a van on Bedford Avenue—and Troy Swain, a bookstore employee for years, you can get the same experience in a charming, cramped, perfect space in Williamsburg. [Book Thug Nation] (100 N. 3rd St., betw. Berry St. & Wythe Ave, Brooklyn, no phone), their small, community-driven bookstore, is brimming with one of the best selections of literary fiction that New York has to offer, including collections of philosophy, political science, film and… martial arts manuals. The store stocks a collection of perfect books for the smart, curious reader, and according to Swain, “the majority come off the street.” (The shop also keeps milk crates filled with reasonably priced vinyl in a nook behind a palm tree.) Thanks to its selection, its attitude and its little-guy-beneath-those-scary-highrises perch on North 3rd Street, we can’t help but love Book Thug Nation.

Jose Gomez & Carlos Flores (Subway Saviors)

A good Samaritan of the subway tracks, Carlos Flores struck us with his train of thought. When 36-year-old Flores saw a fellow straphanger fall on the tracks at East 103rd Street one November morning, he thought, “If he gets hit, I can’t get to work. It’s Sunday. I can’t miss out. It’s a time-and-a-half day.” Our nonchalant Harlem hero didn’t hesitate before jumping down to the bowels of the station while the 6 train approached, and rescuing the man who fell. With Christmas approaching, Flores was determined to arrive on time for his $19-an-hour shift at a Noho grocery store as he hopped on the very same train minutes later. Now that’s a Jose Gomez. reliable work ethic!

Though we’d like to honor all of the brave souls who dive onto the subway tracks each year to save friends and strangers alike, we wanted to give a special nod to 29-year-old Jose Gomez. While out on his first date with Beatriz Briceno, the 19-year-old dove onto the tracks near 36th Ave. in Astoria to retrieve her $200 jacket and the contents of its pockets (soooo not worth it, Beatriz). Gomez was so into his date that he leapt right down after her to help out. The northbound N train struck both, but Gomez was killed. Hopefully we won’t have such tragic subway stories next year.

Jeff Koons (Bad-Boy Made Good)

The king of contemporary kitsch has performed a great service for the young and perverted. For those who missed the Venice Biennale in 1990 (or didn’t know who Jeff Koons was at the time), the provocative Made in Heaven series is back for a second round at Luxembourg & Dayan on the Upper East Side through Jan. 21 (Read what[ Colby Keller had to say about it here]). What makes this showing so important to us is not that we get to see a large canvas of Koons penetrating (and ejaculating on) his then-porn star wife Ilona Staller, aka La Cicciolina, or that he kept Made in Heaven hidden for two decades after its initial showing, but rather because it marks a pivotal moment for the artist himself. The timing was impeccable since it came along the same year he also curated a hotly debated show of contemporary art from Greek billionaire Dakis Joannou’s collection. He also opened his Upper East Side home, filled with lots of classic art, to a journalist to prove that he’s actually kinda conventional. The fact that the art-world bad boy and one of the most famous living artists has turned his reputation around seems like a pretty phenomenal, and perky, achievement.

Assami Semde (The Munchie Maverick)

Not much is valued in New York quite like a delivery guy willing to ride a flimsy bike with pie-bearing handles through bad weather, speed against the traffic, risk his life and fight off pesky pizza thieves. We didn’t know about the pie snatchers either, until Assami Semde, local hero to any sufferer of latenight munchies, raised our awareness. Semde, a 19-year-old employee of Famous Famiglia pizza and recent immigrant to the United States, was delivering pizza when two men harassed him on the 27th floor of a Harlem building. The gluttonous gunman pointed a pistol at Semde when he refused to give them pies (they were really hungry). After a security guard broke up the brawl, Semde completed the delivery, delivering both pizzas still hot, before heading to the precinct. His commendable sense of urgency and prioritization earn Semde a spot as a nice, if crazy, kinda guy.