By Nika Dearing
We tend to get caught up in our emotional attachment to things and people. I’m not talking about letting go of our love for another, but we must release our need to have things a particular way. We create expectations based on our beliefs. Either because “that is the way I’ve always done it,” or because we are trying to have some control over how it turns out. We must first release control over that which we cannot control. Then we must release our concept that it has to happen a certain way. Releasing the paradigms and false sense of control allows us to see things clearly. It opens new doors that were previously hidden.
Look at the Bigger Picture
We’ve found the courage to detach from our expectations, but now we have to learn to detach from ourselves. The ego can be a tough opponent to go up against. It houses all sorts of fears and insecurities, and is more than willing to unleash those emotions whenever we try to go outside of our comfort zone. However, in order to open ourselves to our fullest potential, we must learn to see past our ego selves. We need to be able to look at the environment from above; as though we are outside parties watching it play out before us. From this vantage point, we can better understand the motivations, expectations and emotions of everything (and everyone) involved. Look at it from all angles to try to pinpoint where it is coming from. Is it a belief system, a bad relationship, or maybe a frustrating job?
For a belief, we must dare to ask why it has to be the way it currently is. Look from above to see ways you can question that belief to shift yourself outside of it.
For a relationship, look through the other person’s eyes without being filtered by ego. Is there a fear in them you didn’t see before? Looking from above, you can accept things as they are with a new understanding or see where they need to change.
For a job, we must see how we are contributing to the situation in an unbiased way.
Being able to see all aspects of our lives from a higher perspective without the inclusion of selfish interests is mastery. It isn’t easy, but the understanding you receive will change you. It will open you to something greater; something you won’t be able to explain or put into words, but you will see it clearly. It will make you gentler, kinder and more understanding of how we connect together as human and spiritual beings.
If you’ve made it this far, then it is as simple as making a choice. Once we have detached and looked at our environment without ego or expectation, we can open ourselves to seeing the bigger picture. In this higher perspective, we shift into seeing new possibilities unfold before us. We realize that things can change, but with change comes fear. Be brave. It isn’t easy to invite change into our lives, but it is simply a matter of choosing to do so.
Once we see clearly, we can know if the change needs to come from our beliefs, or if we must change the environment altogether. Then we must have the courage and faith to do so knowing that we are in control of our own lives. We are the driving force that ultimately creates our environment. We can choose to stay where we are unhappy, or we can choose to create a new environment of undiscovered possibility.
Veronica “Nika” Dearing, founder of ND Holistic Wellness & Healing, is a holistic life coach specializing in self-development and holistic wellness. You can find out more about Nika at her website www.nikadearing.com
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