The Visceralist: St. Jerome’s

Written by NYPress on . Posted in NY Press Exclusive.


Our new resident nightlife specialist The Visceralist introduces their inaugural post on St. Jerome’s. Enjoy!

St. Jerome’s

155 Rivington St. (btw Clinton & Suffolk)

NYC, NY 10002

(212) 533-1810

Bathroom situation – 2 in the way back part, both unisex. The one on the left is huge and tatted up. The one on the right has a missing doorknob, but it’s ok cuz the knob-hole has been filled in with duct tape and you can hold the door closed from the toilet if you have to sit down (so that’s a big “Phew!” for the ladies, I’d imagine).
Takes credit cards? – Yeah they do, but don’t do that. Speaking of “don’t”…how many folks out here thought it was “Downtown Abbey” for the longest?
Crowded on weekends? – oh hell yeah, fuckin’ right. Exhausting those max capacity signs is a must.
Seating – 4ish booths on the left wall, 8-10ish stools at the bar, and room for a small bachelor party in the bathroom on the left side. Oh yeah, as mentioned above, the one on the left is big. Plus it has a functional lock.
Neighborhood – so close to the heart of the LES that you may as well be suckin its tits on the subway (right, Blossom?).
Pretentious/assholes – Visceralist didn’t get the “Really? No, really?” eye-roll last time we were here, so we’ll give this a pregnant “nah” for now…
Cost of Stella – $5, but bottle only. That’s below market rate, but it’s still bottle only, so…eh.
What time people start showing up – about 90 minutes after your friends said they were getting there.
Bartender efficiency – legit. Despite all your fog machines and light reflecting off those disco balls, the bartenders here got your back for rill rill.
Official Website – none. Which is actually kinda ill ill.
Food? How late – none, but Pok-Pok Wing is right down the street, so get creative.
TVs? What’s on – they have an ironic(?) video screen just above the bar that was showing some Russ Meyer foolishness last time Visceralist was here.
Guy:girl ratio – Even Steven.
Toys – there’s probably some fun to be had with that no-knob toilet in the back, on the right.
Age of clientele – young ladies in those black leather jackets and the weathered, long-haired burnouts that tolerate them.
Space for dancing? – surprisingly no, considering they have a substantially-elevated DJ booth in the front window. The layout just isn’t conducive to learning how to Dougie.
Music medium, style & volume – whatever the ‘80s equivalent of the Killers/Bravery/Panic! triumvirate of awesome was.
Specials or most popular drink – a tall pint glass of “God damn, you’re still here!? (eye-roll)”

To read more from The Viceralist visit www.visceralist.com

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