Question of the week: I’ve been going out with this guy for a couple of weeks now. It’s going really well but I’m feeling a bit nervous about meeting his friends. How hard should I try to make a good impression?
Ok, Bromance 101: Guys do talk to their bros about their girlfriends. Not always in a touchy-feely, “I like her so much sometimes I’m afraid I’m going to lose her” kind of way, but they do. They aren’t necessarily looking for approval though. And unless you’re a real b****, his friends will probably not tell him to dump you. In fact, us guys talk about you in a much less detailed way than you talk about us. Really, the only thing we want to know from our bros is this: Do you think she’s hot?
So yes, it is important that his friends like you, or at least that they don’t hate you. But really, they don’t have to love you either. In fact, that would probably be a bad idea.
Don’t be trying to win them over, hoping that the next time you and your guy clash about his obvious lack of desire to wear pants on Sundays, they will take your side and, you know, talk some sense into him. Probably not gonna happen, and if it does, well I don’t know that it would be such a good thing.
You also don’t want them texting you when your boyfriend is off to see his auntie in Jersey for the weekend. So really, what we are looking for here is a middle ground.
I guess I’m going to make myself useful now. So here are a few tips to come off as the cool laid back, sexy and awesome girlfriend that you probably already are:
- Don’t be shy. Sure, sitting in a corner, holding his hand and politely smiling at everyone won’t make them hate you, but they won’t like you either. Engage conversation. Ask them questions. Talk about yourself. Also, make sure to keep your guy in the loop if he’s the jealous type. You don’t want to be ignoring him either.
- Don’t try too hard to look cool. You don’t want to come off as if you’re absolutely trying to impress. Just be yourself! (Hey, I’m doing this pro-bono. If you want some less cliché phrasing go ask Cosmo. Oh wait, nevermind…)
- Have a beer! Or eventually a whisky. If you don’t like either, well, maybe a gin tonic will do the trick? But seriously, a beer will make you infinitely cooler. Just try to avoid Appletinis.
- Don’t talk about sex. Also, stay away from any kind of flirting. If one of them does flirt with you, politely ignore him. The last thing you want is to lead them on. If you do, you can be sure that their next talk about you won’t be all unicorns and rose petals. Or maybe slutty unicorns. And no Spring Break stuff either please.
- Almost forgot the most important tip of all: Just relax! I’d say the best way to do that is probably to disregard everything I just said.
Send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org or via twitter @N_YPress.
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