The Joy of Oomph!

It takes a different kind of hipster to dig the Mostly
Mozart Festival, one unafraid to break through the apartheid of rock. There
will be no TV on the Radio. No nouveau psyche or unironic roots revivalism. No
hip-hop, by white boys or otherwise. There will be, however, a great big swath
of Stravinsky, not to mention a big mess of Mozart and some Beethoven, mostly
greatest hits, and all of it stoner-friendly and knee-buckling, no matter how
old the music is.

The last time I trucked up
to Lincoln Center was to see the two-day Edgar Varese mini-fest, and along with
the usual gaggle of tourists and PBS nerds who congregate at these things was a
deep vein of downtown art-rockers lured in by the avant-hoosis of Frank Zappa’s
favorite composer. Unfortunately, though, whenever I make the trip to LC (which
has a new free iPhone app, by the way) to get a dose of the Old Masters, it’s
still mostly a meeting of the well-heeled and the would-be (along with the
aforementioned tourists and nerds), and as usual, that is somewhat sad-making.
I spend a lot of time proselytizing about this so-called classical music—the
oomph of the orchestra and the Bugs Bunny-like gesticulation of my favorite
conductors—but for some reason, very few of my potential converts have been
willing to put aside their outdated prejudice towards banal electric guitars
and open their minds to anything that doesn’t swing four to the bar.

The annual Mostly Mozart Fest, which began Aug. 2—taking
place mostly in Avery Fisher Hall and featuring the very enthusiastic Mostly
Mozart Festival Orchestra—is as fine an opportunity as any for the great
unwashed of Williamsburg to grow the fuck up, and remains fertile territory for
more fevered fans. Highlights this year include a turn by Josh Bell on the
Bruch Violin Concerto No. 1, on the same program with another warhorse (but
still my very favorite), Mozart’s Symphony No 40. Bell gets a lot of heat for
being all sizzle and little steak, but I think the real problem is that most
orchestras are afraid to challenge him since he’s such a big touring star and
they don’t want to step on his loafers. Also he plays an intimidating $5
million violin which is, no shit, worth every penny he paid for it—I promise
that you have never heard an unamplified instrument sound so freaking loud and
true. The effect is something like Harry Potter and his Magic Fiddle, but it
beats king hell out of any shitty rock band with a violin player, Kansas and Mahavishnu
notwithstanding.

Other no-risk romps for rockers include the all-Mozart
program Aug. 9–10 (built around the massive Jupiter Symphony), the Aug. 19 and
Aug. 20 Stravinsky vs. Beethoven mano a mano and the grand finale, two unfinished masterpieces: Schubert’s Symph in
B minor and Mozart’s Requiem, Aug. 26 and Aug. 27.

Also of special interest is the staged performance of Don
Giovanni by the Budapest Festival
Orchestra, a guaranteed panty-soaker, Aug. 4 and Aug. 6 at the Rose Theater,
and two Stravinsky film programs playing back-to-back at the Walter Reed
Theater on Aug. 6, including a film of Julie Taymor getting crazy with Oedipus
Rex, 10 years before she lost her mind
dancing with Bono on Broadway.

Mostly Mozart

Aug. 2–27, various locations, www.mostlymozart.org.