The Gangs of Park Slope
It's a standard part of most any neighborhood newspaper. Along with announcements about the flower show this weekend and minutes from the last town board meeting, you're bound to find the local crime blotter.
Problem is, few local papers give the crime blotter the attention it deserves, and as a result, it's rarely as good as it could be. We're talking fundamental human pathos here, little stories that concern events that have changed people's lives in basic ways. Stolen cars, muggings, break-ins and robberies?not big enough to hit the Post's metro desk maybe, but certainly big enough to ruin someone's month. They're portraits of greed and desperation and loss that, if done properly, read like the world's shortest pulp novels. What's more, the blotter serves an extremely important purpose, allowing residents to track the crime patterns in their neighborhood?even on their own block. If people are aware of what's going on, they can take steps to, if not stop it, at least avoid it. If you're one of those people who believes the crime rate is dropping dramatically, just take a look at the blotter for your area?crime is everywhere.
One local publication that does take the crime blotter seriously enough to do it right is The Park Slope Paper?part of the Brooklyn Papers chain. And the man responsible for making the blotter what it is these days is staff reporter Patrick Gallahue.
Gallahue, 27, has done a good deal of fine reporting for the Park Slope and downtown Brooklyn editions since his arrival there a mere nine months ago?everything from politics to human interest stories. In my opinion, it's in the 78th Precinct blotter that he really shines. In 200 words or less he can spin a remarkable tale full of pain, outrage, shock, irony and humor. It's the real test of a journalist's skill. (New York Press contributor Spike Vrusho, I might add, once wrote the blotter for the same paper, and was likewise a master of the form.) Park Slope is awash in neighborhood weeklies?most all of which cover exactly the same crimes in their own blotters, but nobody does it quite as well:
Rob Hat, Watch
A 16 year-old boy was taken into custody after allegedly attempting to rob a 13 year-old on Dec. 5th in a playground near an intermediate school on 5th Ave... According to police, the suspect and four accomplices surrounded the victim at around 12:30 p.m. and said, "Yo, what size is your hat?" The suspect then allegedly asked the victim for the time.
Police reports state that the muggers then took the boy's hat and watch.
A guardian for the boy called police, who were able to catch one suspect, although the other four were not found.
Before I became obsessed with these things, I had no idea that Park Slope was such a hotbed of rampant?even unbridled?criminal activity.
"Different precincts do it differently," Gallahue explained when I asked him what was involved in putting the blotter together. At a paper I used to work for in Philadelphia, it was simple: once a week, the woman who wrote the blotter called the precinct and was given a rundown of the basic facts. She took it from there. In Brooklyn, however, things are handled differently.
"Some precincts will selectively work with you on which [stories] they give you, sometimes over the phone... What information is given really depends on the precinct."
I asked Gallahue what he looks for in a story?and if he had any favorites since he found himself on that beat.
"The more inscrutable the better," he said. "Personally, I don't like the violent stuff?murder or rape or an assault is something I would rather not hear about, like most people. For my own personal preference, the ones I think are the best are the funny ones."
In Park Slope, it seems, the funny, stupid crimes far outweigh the tragic ones?at least in volume.
"There was a guy once who was caught stealing 50 pairs of socks. Anther guy was once nabbed on two B&Es because as he was crawling out the window of one apartment he slipped and fell through the skylight of another. It's a level of damage that can be dealt with."
My own personal favorite took place on the night of Dec. 13, when a pair of muggers accosted three different people over the course of an hour. Unfortunately for them, since two of their three intended victims were not carrying any money, they only got away with $40. The story ran under the headline "Slope Mugger Team Goes 1-2."
"Last week," Gallahue told me, "there were a couple of guys who tried to carjack somebody. They stole the car, but never made it to the end of the block because they could not drive. So I mean, there you go?the guys take the car, and they crash it before they make it to the end of the block. I didn't hear of any major damage to the car. The guy gets his car back. I hope they learned some grand lesson while running away?they'll never steal another car until they learn how to drive. Ideally, that's the lesson."