Banshee

The latest Cinemax series looks to tread the same path of action and crime as predecessors Hunted and Strike Back. Boasting the creative acumen of author Jonathan Tropper (with David Schickler) and featuring True Blood’s Alan Ball among its executive producers, Banshee features an ex-con/ martial artist impersonating a murdered town sheriff in a small Amish Pennsylvania town. Things get weird quick. (Airs on Cinemax starting Jan. 11)

Cult

Farscape creator Rockne S. O’Bannon has crafted a creepy meta-mystery in which journalist Jeff(Matt Davis) and Skye (Jessica Lucas), a production assistant on a crime show called Cult team up to hunt down Jeff’s missing brother – who just happens to be a die-hard Cult fan. Another mystery: will viewers be able to keep up with both the show and this show-within-a-show? (Airs on The CW starting Feb. 19)

Downton Abbey

Mary and Matthew (Michelle Dockery and Dan Stephens) have rapidly assumed Ross-and-Rachel territory in Julian Fellowes’ massively-worshipped British serial set around the First World War era. This season features typically inspired dialogue, but also boasts tighter, more rewarding plotting than its initial two seasons. Bonus: the presence of Oscar-winner Shirley MacLaine in a guest spot. (Airs on PBS starting Jan. 6)

The Following

Kevin Williams, Scream scribe, throws in a touch of The Silence of the Lambs in the new Kevin Bacon vehicle The Following, starring James Purefoy (Rome) as a convicted murder using cyberspace to communicate to copycat killers. Bacon, turning to TV just as his wife, Kyra Sedgwick ends her reign as a detective on The Closer, is the federal agent who must navigate this tangled web of depraved murderers. (Begins Jan. 21 on FOX)

Justified

The tube’s best marshal, Raylan Givens (an excellent Timothy Olyphant) returns in the fourth season of Graham Yost’s show, based on a character created by genre fave Elmore Leonard. This season wises up to one of its most precious resources, journeyman actor Raymond J. Barry, who plays Raylan’s shady father, Arlo. Look for Arlo to become a crucial aid to his son’s latest case. (Begins Jan. 8 on FX)

Cons:
1. Lack of a movie background. Sure, MacFarlane might have written, directed, produced and done vocal work in Ted, but he’s no Warren Beatty or Woody Allen. He’s not yet a vital presence when it comes to the industry being honored at the Oscars. An ongoing trend with hosts and presenters like MacFarlane and Ricky Gervais with limited film experience is to condescend to the event in which they appear. An institution like the Academy Awards deserves some reverence.

2. He won’t attract new viewers. ABC’s ever-more-craven attempts to drum up ratings for the Oscars is a lost cause. The Oscars will always be what they are: an awards show honoring talent and substance over commercialism (usually). Younger viewers, used to having the power of smartphones and DVRs, are used to being in the driver’s seat, and don’t flock to television events like this. Hiring the irreverent Family Guy creator won’t bring in new viewers—but it may alienate existing ones.

3. MacFarlane’s currency is untested. One of the reasons producers hire established emcees for award shows is because they are a known entity, and not just for the audience watching at home but for the nervous nominees in the audience. Franco/Hathaway and David Letterman both bombed because they couldn’t gauge the temperature of the audience, and put them on the defensive instead of creating a layer of comfort. And that can be felt through the TV screen.

4. Mila Kunis will likely be a presenter again. Sure, the MacFarlane cohort nearly nabbed a nod for Black Swan, but she’s yet to represent major Hollywood or critical achievement. Can’t we make room for top-shelf talent to open up some envelopes?

Pros:
1. Hollywood no longer segregates between film and television. MacFarlane may have wet his feet in movies, but his signature work remains on television. Casting him, like Ellen DeGeneres before him, is proof that there’s no longer any dividing line between the big and small screen, a stigma that started peeling away a decade and a half ago. Performers can now move laterally between the two media without fear of career comeuppance.

2. He does have presence. MacFarlane’s front-of-camera appearances on shows like Real Time with Bill Maher and last week’s Emmys (where he quickly recovered after a gaffe as presenter) prove he has poise and a sharp wit. If he can keep his air of self-importance in check, he might be just the guy to keep the show moving, especially if …
3. He might choose to abandon certain traditions. Perhaps MacFarlane will opt to forgo devices like Crystal’s opening song medley and montages in which he implanted himself in the year’s notable films and head straight into the awards themselves. And maybe the telecast will even end on time.

4. Mila Kunis will likely be a presenter again. I mean, I’m not blind.

Photo Courtesy of Alissa Fleck

Famously perky chef and TV personality Rachael Ray made an appearance at a Barnes & Noble in Union Square last night to speak and sign copies of her 20th cookbook, The Book of Burger, named for the musical Book of Mormon (coupled with a love of burgers), which reportedly “made [her] fall off [her] seat laughing.” Ray fans from as far as Arizona, but probably farther, started filling bookstore seats hours in advance.

“Rachael Ray is so inspirational, it’s like listening to a StairMaster. I don’t think she’s ever had a down day…in public,” said one fan, Patrick, who showed up two hours early to the signing for a front row seat. He had flown in from Ohio for the day to see Ray. “I don’t actually cook, I’m not a practitioner. I just watch for pleasure,” he said. “I’m going to have her sign ‘I love you’ in my book.’” A woman nearby added: “I’m going to have her address mine ‘to my best friend.’”

Others in the audience affirmed their fondness for Ray’s bubbly demeanor as well. When she finally hit the stage to speak after a half-hour publicity delay, wide smiles and glazed eyes pervaded the room. The flicker from cameras never dimmed.

Another Ray fan in attendance was the 150-pound Chewy, a “famous” NYC therapy dog, whose owner claims he has 2,000 Facebook friends, though I failed to find anything about him on the internet. “Rachael has done a lot of work in the dog community,” said Chewy’s owner, patting the massive, slobbering animal. Other nearby audience members appeared distressed at how many second row seats the dog required.

“If I could ask her anything, it would be: how does she keep going?” said Patrick. “What is her center? How does she stay on all the time?” When pressed further, he said: “I’d ask if she dreams about food. And what are her nightmares like? Does she burn something?” Patrick had done his research. He surmised a low point in Ray’s life was having to move back in with her mother after a string of break-ins at her New York City apartment. He was proud of how she bounced back.

There was a consensus among crowd members that, with everything she does, Ray is an immutable multitasker.

And Ray brought the charm. Calling out to one fan during the Q&A, she shouted: “You’re like the Noxzema girl! You’re just so pretty!”

She also brought the burgers. Every customer who purchased Ray’s The Book of Burger, which the event manager continually touted as “Rachael’s best cookbook yet,” received a free Brooklyn Beer Chili Slider from a truck outside. Several people reported they were delicious. Patrick showed me a number of before-and-after burger pictures on his camera as evidence. The “after” pictures were of a styrofoam plate.

In Ray’s address to the crowd she said The Book of Burger is her first cookbook on a single “topic,” though the book boasts recipes for far more than just burgers, and some of those burgers are pretty out there. There is, for instance, a Bloody Mary Cheeseburger (pretty much what it sounds like), but often the burgers don’t involve beef at all. There are also options for vegans and vegetarians. Ray said she went all out to make a book with something for everyone.

“I love what burgers say,” said Ray. “They say everyone’s welcome. They say laughter.” She said if she ever opened a restaurant it would without a doubt be a slider bar, but with two “R”s, like her name.

Ray admitted it was hard to whittle her favorite recipes down, despite the book’s monolithic size. “Everything is fantastic between a bun,” she said.

“The book is also smart, it’s smarter than me,” she said, between giggles, explaining the book is literally a Smart Book, meaning it has codes you can scan to get more recipes online.

“No one’s smarter than you!” shouted an audience member in reply, with an edge of anger.

Ray said her next book would be a co-authored project with her husband. “It will be my year in meals and my husband’s year in cocktails,” she said. “He’s probably finishing up his second Scotch right now.”

During the Q&A, audience members had more comments than questions for Ray:

“Your voice was the only one that could make my baby stop crying!” said one fan. “Thirty-Minute Meals saved my relationship!” said a front-row man, his hand on a woman’s knee. A third girl was too breathless with excitement to get her question out and had to be seated. “I’m sorry,” she repeated. “I’m just so nervous.”

Then someone in the audience said: “Rachael, you’re such an inspiration, how do you do everything?”

Ray got more serious. She urged the group to find something special to look forward to each day, even if it was just making dinner. She said food has the power to take you somewhere you want to go, as well as somewhere you might want to remember.

She had less expected advice too: “I was raised by people who did not look for balance,” she said. “Balance is a bummer to look for.”

When the Q&A ended, people rushed the stage with their children, hoping to sneak a forbidden posed photograph with the star.

By Magdalena Burnham

Summer might be the time when a lot of your favorite television shows go away, but networks are pumping out plenty of interesting new shows to fill the void. Here is a rundown of the most buzzed about new summer programs.

Dallas
Get out your “I Shot J.R.” T-shirts—someone has decided to reboot that show you heard about where the last season turned out to be a dream. Patrick Duffy returns to his Dallas roots, joined by newcomers Jesse Metcalfe, from Desperate Housewives, and Jordana Brewster. The previews TNT has released make the show look dead serious, but it would be nice if it were cheesy fun and focused on Metcalfe’s abs. Premieres June 13 on TNT.

The Newsroom
This is easily the most anticipated—and prestigious—show of the summer, so be sure to watch it if you want to have opinions on this year’s Emmys or talk to your pretentious nephew. The Newsroom was created by Aaron Sorkin (The West Wing, Sports Night) and stars Jeff Daniels (Terms of Endearment, The Squid and the Whale) as a news anchor. It will go behind the scenes of the cable news world; the previews promise the signature Sorkin dialogue his fans have become accustomed to. Premieres June 24 on HBO.

Duets
Duets is a reality show in which four alleged superstars search for a talented unknown artist to compete with them in a singing competition—not the most original idea a network ever tossed out. The talents involved are Kelly Clarkson, Robin Thicke, Sugarland’s Jennifer Nettles and John Legend. They all seem like perfectly nice people, but you’d think ABC would get a bigger variety of stars to draw a wide audience. Compared to the careful musical diversity on display in The Voice’s panel of judges, this show seems like it really only cares about the mom audience. Premieres May 24 on ABC.

Dogs in the City
When you start to feel exhausted by shows like The Newsroom, where you have to think and pay attention, flip over to this CBS reality show. Hopefully, it’ll be mostly footage of cute dogs; the only way it could go awry is if it gives us too much of the human star of the show, dog trainer Justin Silver. Premieres May 30 on CBS.

Anger Management
Exactly what Charlie Sheen’s new series on FX will be like is a bit of a mystery, since none of the trailers have included any actual footage from the show. But reports say that the show tested very well, so Sheen might just get his victorious comeback. The cast also includes Selma Blair. Premieres June 28 on FX.
Magdalena Burnham studied television writing at New York University. She currently resides in the East Village.

Courtney Cox’s tabloid editor was a bitchy, scary delight, prone to masturbating—her father’s suicide left her so lonely!—in between blackmailing Hollywood celebrities and fighting to stay on top of the entertainment cesspool. Don Cheadle’s management consultant guru, however, just seems like a self-destructive asshole. He is tender and supportive towards his gender-bending son (who auditions for and lands the role of Sandy in a school production of Grease) but he’s also a wreck of a man—his mother’s suicide left him so lonely!—whose only glimmer of humanity comes at the soulful, silent final shots of Cheadle’s blank, staring face.

There’s comedy in watching Marty behave badly even as each half hour episode quickly falls into a predictable rhythm, but House of Lies has little that’s fresh to it. There’s some distracting, trendy editing in which everything freezes so that Marty can explain to the audience some new piece of management consultant jargon; familiar supporting faces that are instantly recognizable from previous recurring roles or guest spots (not to mention a woefully underutilized Kristen Bell, in her first starring television role since Veronica Mars); and there is a Don Draper moment to each half hour, in which Marty or one of his team somehow pull off a Hail Mary and win an enormous pay day.

The anti-hero genre was looking pretty wan even when Dirt premiered back in 2007, and Carnahan has found no new tricks in the meantime. Marty hate fucks his ex-wife, parties till dawn with a stripper, head butts a client and steals a car from a valet—but he’s really empty inside, guys! He deserves to be coddled! He’s so brilliant at what he does that the big drama of the first season is whether or not his bad behavior and inability not to burn bridges will cost him his job. But it’s hard sympathizing with a bastard who makes seven figures from telling other bastards how to profit off the misfortune of others (the pilot’s clients are particularly loathsome). The comedy is pitch black and often painfully funny, but ultimately we’re laughing at ourselves.

Watch the full episode below: