Crime Overkill

How many guys does it take to steal two iPhones, a $40 Metrocard and $31 in cash? Five, apparently, with a semi-automatic firearm thrown into the mix. A posse of five perpetrators accosted two young men on Amsterdam Avenue near West 68th Street at about 2:30 a.m. on Monday. The group showed the men the gun and racked the slide on the weapon, demanding cash and their phones. The perps made off with their loot—pretty paltry when split five ways—and fled on foot.

Faulty Memory, Missing Jewelry

A 60-year-old woman reported to police that the jewelry she had shown to her roommate and to one of her home health aides had gone missing. The woman said that she has had several aides at different times and could not remember to whom she showed the jewelry. She said that she kept the valuables in her bedroom safe but did not lock it. The missing items, which are worth a total of $3,579, include a $2,000 gold and diamond ring and gold wedding bands worth $1,000.

Happy Healthy Thieves

In the middle of the day last Friday, three brazen thieves—two women and one man working together—stormed a Rite Aid on Amsterdam Avenue and grabbed dozens of items off the store shelves. The trio made off with $3,042 worth of drugstore products.

Short on Cash

A 41-year-old man was arrested early Saturday morning after he was caught red-handed rifling through a stolen purse. The man had been drinking at a local pub and was caught without the funds to pay for his $69 bar tab at the end of the evening. He snagged a woman’s purse from her chair and snuck it into the men’s bathroom to snatch her credit cards, but was found out before he could do any damage.

Breaking the Lease

Some people just don’t read the fine print on their rental agreements. A woman reported to police last week that her tenant, to whom she had rented a fully furnished apartment, apparently didn’t understand that the furnishings were not hers to keep and move as she pleased. The lessee vacated the apartment and stole two televisions worth over $1,000, as well as the cable boxes, a lamp, TV stand and armoire, together worth $2,598.

Drinking Games

A pair of friends were drinking together at one of their apartments on West 62nd Street last Tuesday. All was going well until they got into a verbal spat, which quickly escalated to violence when the woman picked up a glass cup used for decoration and decided to use it instead as a weapon, smashing it into her male buddy’s face. The man suffered a laceration, severe bleeding and bruising and was rushed to Roosevelt Hospital for treatment.

Grocery Store Grabber

A woman was shopping at Trader Joe’s around noon last Friday, her purse in her cart as she searched for cheap produce. When she got to the checkout, however, she discovered that her wallet was missing. By the time she walked over to a local Citibank branch to report her credit cards stolen, the bank told her that someone had used her card to purchase a $510 computer at Best Buy.

I wonder how many West Siders beside myself have been infuriated and embarrassed by an arbitrary policy at the Fairway Restaurant on Broadway.

Twice I have arrived with a guest at a nearly empty dining room to be denied a table at the window due to some vague policy. Yesterday, a rude (and annoyed) employee actually snatched two place settings off an empty window table, with some vague excuse that the chef was on a break. The first time it happened, I was told the window tables were reserved for “dinner guests”—at 3:30 in the afternoon! In neither case was the “manager” (or mis-manager) available. Since I live a few blocks away and only spend $2,000 or $3,000 a year there, I want to apologize for being such a nuisance. Trader Joe’s will open soon.

Art Nudell
West 79th Street

The specialty food store is planning to open on West 72nd Street and Broadway sometime in 2010.

Trader Joe’s is keeping a tight lid on additional details, such as size of the store or the exact opening date.

This will be the second Trader Joe’s in Manhattan, after the store’s Union Square location. But unlike the Union Square counterpart, the Upper West Side Trader Joe’s will not have a wine shop next door. Under New York State’s antiquated liquor laws, only one license can be given to any business or person.