Chinatown: Stop letting the other ’hoods use me. If they don’t want to meet for dim sum during the day, then they can take their club beats elsewhere at night. And tell Nolita to quit invading my space.Photo by Christopher Schoenbohm

Look at you, New York! I hardly recognize this group of non-smoking, exercising, healthy-eating and organized individuals. What happened? You used to be fun. Interesting, at least.

The truth is, if everyone in New York sticks to their resolutions, it could throw off the balance of this entire city, country and world at large. Grocery stores will sell out of fresh produce, and SeamlessWeb will go under faster than it can send a confirmation email. Gyms will become so overcrowded that citywide riots will break out in a moment of elliptical desperation. Cigarette companies will—er, bad example.

Countless livelihoods depend on your laziness, unhealthy habits and destructive behaviors. Think of the artisan baker who relies on your sweet tooth to pay the bills. Don’t you believe in supporting small businesses? Don’t you want to stimulate the economy? Or how about the bartender who depends on your liquored-up generosity to support his true passion? Thanks to your selfish resolution to drink less, you may be robbing the world of his future Oscar-winning documentary exposing the slaughter of bonobos in the Congo. Maybe that film would have started a worldwide movement to save the bonobos from extinction. Perhaps even inspired an end to the Congo’s years of devastating warfare in the process. Don’t you want to end violence in the Congo? Don’t you think bonobos are cute?

So go ahead and smoke your first cigarette of 2013. Bite that hangnail. Fall so hard off the donut wagon that you might have broken something if not for their—and your—pillowy softness to cushion the landing. It’s the least you can do.

Our neighborhoods, however, are another story. They could use a few resolutions, and from the look of things, they have their work cut out for them in 2013:

Meatpacking: Drink lesssss [hiccup]. And learn Italian.

Chelsea: Stop making fun of MiMa. He didn’t make it up.

West Village: Start growing vegetables on the roofs of my restaurants. Oh wait, that was last year’s.

Midtown: Separate my work from my social life. Leave my Blackberry at—sorry, gotta take this … What? Now? I’m just finishing a scorpion bowl with my boys at BroJim’s. I’ll be at the office in 10.

East Village: Keep my beard clean.

Tribeca: Stop letting myself be defined by my friends. Tell De Niro I need some space. Again.

Nolita: Stop giving all the other neighborhoods adorably personalized gifts from my shops. When did anyone ever give me a necklace made of gilded flower petals in the shape of my name?

Little Italy: Go gluten-free.

Murray Hill (hers): Stop wearing my Kappa Delta Phi butt pants to unlimited champagne brunch.

Murray Hill (his): Stop hitting on girls wearing Kappa Delta Phi butt pants at unlimited champagne brunch.

Times Square: Meditate more. Like, all the time.

Looks fun ’til the cops showed up, would it fly today?

—Compiled by Alissa Fleck

By Regan Hofmann

In the ever-shifting neighborhood creep of Downtown, it seems nothing is what it’s supposed to be anymore. Little Italy has become Chinatown, Nolita has become Soho and Soho has become Times Square. Walking from block to block you’re not quite sure what you’re going to get—but you can be sure it’s not what you thought it was supposed to be.

Enter The Pan American at 202 Mott St., by all appearances a sleek, shiny restaurant of the New Nolita bent. There’s just enough signage on the all-glass front to make sure you know you’re in the right place, but not enough to be so outré as to advertise itself. A turquoise gleam emanates through the window, and a glance at the menu gives an impression of the sort of Nuevo Latino cooking that came up quickly a few years ago and is de rigeur for those model types who want to prove they eat food by nibbling at miniature empanadas.

But look again. On closer inspection, the menu reveals a curiously vegan streak, listing snacks such as carrot chicharron and kale chips. Then again, entrées include a plate that includes both skirt steak and oxtail, so it can’t be just a meat-free zone. Accompanying some dishes are health-food buzzwords like quinoa and kale, but you can also get fried chicken and taquitos, so it can’t be an ascetic bore. And peer through the door at the bar; tucked in with the shifting lights and gleaming white surfaces are a rainbow of jars and bottles, unlabeled, moonshine-like—housemade infusions and syrups that prove they won’t just give you a model-approved vodka soda.

There’s a point at which you have to let go and let god at The Pan American, when your instincts have been so thoroughly baffled that you find yourself willing to try anything. This is as it should be. When your server recommends a Rosey Palmer from the list of original cocktails, order it, even though it’s vodka-based and you prefer gin, even though you can’t stand sweet, fruity drinks and it comes in a pretty shade of pink. In fact, the tea-flavored vodka is balanced by the bracingly tart hibiscus (housemade, of course) and the result is compulsively drinkable.

Order those chicharrons, too, though you hate the idea of meat substitutes and would rather vegans stop trying to fool themselves. Don’t worry, here the word chicharron is used as a frame of reference more than a literal interpretation. Like their fried pig skin namesake, the sweet, smoky crisps make a perfect bar snack.

And don’t write off the more straightforward Latin American dishes, even if you catch a glimpse of the chef, looking straight off the Wisconsin dairy farm. His salsa verde, which accompanies the cheese-and-chile taquitos, reveals he’s no pretender; it’s bright and vegetal, with a citrus edge that hides a serious kick underneath.

Entrées are fully conceptualized plates with a number of components, at least one of which is invariably a curveball. Duck breast, seared to perfectly rendered skin and tender, medium-rare center, was served with collard greens and quinoa in a recognizably Native American bent—and then there was the pineapple gooseberry glaze.

This topsy-turvy ride closely mirrors the path of the restaurant’s chef, Harry Stoehr, who arrived in New York via the Midwest, a stint in Napa and a turn with Daniel Boulud. Like a true (adoptive) Californian, he wants to provide vegan and gluten-free food that doesn’t scare away everyone else—why not? He came up in working farms, so an affinity for his ingredients comes naturally. And years of cooking family meal in kitchens has him comfortable with the spectrum of Latin American flavors and traditions (rumor has it his tamales are better than most abuelas’.) Everything that can be made in house at The Pan American is, even some improbable ingredients like garlic powder and dulce de leche. You’d be worried he’s going to run himself ragged, if you weren’t so busy devouring everything he puts in front of you.

The next time you’re walking around the space between Houston and Canal, trying to sort out why the block with the Italian Christmas lights has three Chinese groceries and a designer eyewear boutique but no Italian restaurants, you’re in just the right frame of mind for The Pan American. Forget what you think you know is around the next corner—just dive in and go along for the ride.

Photo credit: A nuevo Latino eatery with vegan flair in Nolita.

By Kristina Diggins-Reisinger

Any vintage style devotee, shopaholic or foodie would feel right at home in Nolita. Boutiques, chic shops and eccentric bars and cafés line the streets. In the midst of this trendy neighborhood, I found CNET’s Hands-On Holiday Guide, a tech-centric pop-up shop for the gizmo whiz in your life.

Hosted through Sunday, Nov. 13, the four-dimensional guide found a temporary home at Openhouse Gallery. The place was packed with electronic gurus and customers drooling over walls lined with the latest toys accompanied by helpful explanatory note cards for technological amateurs like myself.

CAMERAS

When I entered the shop, I was met with an array of featured cameras, including the Canon EOS Rebel T3i, the Nikon D3100 and the Sony Cyber-shot DSC-HX9V. The Canon Rebel was on the pricier side, starting at $659.99. This finely tuned piece of machinery boasts excellent video capabilities as well as high image quality. When shooting stills and video, however, the Rebel’s controls can be frustrating to operate, and it’s not terribly fast for spontaneous shooting. This wouldn’t be a good option for parents like myself looking to capture those first steps.

Conversely, the Nikon D3100 has a markedly smaller viewfinder but features excellent photo quality and well laid-out buttons and controls.

The one that nabbed CNET’s editor’s pick, however, was the Sony Cyber-shot. While considerably more affordable at $269.99, it boasts shooting features including face detection and image stabilization.

According to the experts, one key piece of advice this holiday season if you are buying a camera is to ditch any obsession with megapixels. Most cameras on the market today have more than enough megapixels to get the job done. Instead, opt for a cheaper body but a higher quality lens. Buying an expensive camera and putting a cheap lens on it is like buying a Lamborghini and putting a four-cylinder engine in it; better to buy a Honda Civic and add a souped-up V-8. The lens is what focuses light so your pictures are crystal clear.

ENTERTAINMENT 

For the in-home entertainment field there were three clear frontrunners: Apple TV, Microsoft Xbox 360 Slim and Sony PlayStation 3 Slim. Apple TV lets you stream all of the movies and TV shows available on iTunes to your HDTV on a pay-per-view basis. It offers Netflix, streams content from any iOS device or computer running iTunes and costs about $349. The Apple TV, however, won’t work with older, pre-HD TVs.

A mammoth product in terms of features, the Xbox Slim, at $299, includes a sleeker design, much quieter operation, a better cooling system, touch-sensitive power and disc tray, 250GB hard drive, built-in Wi-Fi and five USB ports. The new Xbox, however, doesn’t warrant a purchase if you already own a working older version.

The Sony PlayStation 3 Slim, also $299, won editor’s top pick and is sure to indulge your gaming needs with all the best features of the Xbox Slim plus a Blu-ray and DVD player.

COMPUTERS

If you are looking to splurge for your loved one this season with a fancy new computer, the first question to ask yourself is, how often do they travel? If they seem to be out and about quite often, a laptop with a screen that has added weight might slow them down. Pick one with more compact dimensions, around 13 inches in length, but skip the Netbook, since your smart phone isn’t significantly smaller and still offers all the same functions.

CNET editor-at-large Brian Cooley’s presentation encouraged consumers not to fear the death of the PC. Tablets and smart phones are an adjunct, but people are still using PCs as their home base.

CNET’s shop featured laptops including the Apple MacBook Pro 2011, Dell XPS 14z and HP Pavilion dm1z. At $1,700, the MacBook Pro offers incremental updates to its processor and, according to the CNET experts, has the best trackpad and gesture controls of any current laptop. The Dell XPS 14z is attractive with its unprecedentedly thin body and packs all the punch of a 14-inch laptop in a 13-inch body, with plenty of configuration options.

Winning the editor’s pick was the HP Pavilion dm1z, a far more affordable laptop at roughly $400 than its competitors that features a better touch pad and updated processor.

SMART PHONES 

Okay, let’s talk smart phones. Android vs. iPhone: which is better? While the iPhone offers tons of music and a simple, intuitive interface, Android offers more control. When buying a smart phone as a gift, remember to think about the tech ecosystem the person is already submersed in. Chances are, if your sister owns an iPod, iPad and a MacBook, she is going to want to stick with the iPhone so she can easily transfer data between devices.

At her talk, CNET’s Jessica Dolcourt discussed the hottest smart phones and highlighted the Droid Razor, which was released on 11/11/11 and is, for a limited time, being sold for $111.11. The Razor is a 4G phone with HD display, 8 megapixel camera and splash resistant screen, in case someone spills the eggnog.

The iPhone 4S will run you about $299, but aside from its faster processor and upgraded camera, there isn’t much there that the iPhone 4 didn’t already have. The editor’s pick was the Galaxy Nexus, featuring a huge 4.65-inch HD display and a slightly curved face intended to hug your cheek when holding the phone to your ear, which offers impeccable speed.

TELEVISIONS

LG advertised its latest TV with the phrase, “Seeing believes.” Their new LG Cinema 3D TV offers 2D and 3D conversion functions, smart TV and a magic motion remote. Like a mouse for a smart TV, the remote lets you drag, flick and select your preferences without the hassle of using multiple buttons and arrow keys.

Other featured televisions were the Samsung PN51D7000 and Sony Bravia KDL-46NX720. The Samsung, at $1,200, offers outstanding overall picture quality, with excellent black-level performance and extremely accurate color. Key features include built-in Wi-Fi, comprehensive picture controls and more apps and streaming services than competitors. At $1,099, the Sony Bravia produces deeper black levels than any LED-based TV tested and includes built-in Wi-Fi as well as an Internet suite that streams services and widgets.

Visit www.cnet.com for more information on these and other products. Happy shopping!

A CNET techie, one of many, helped shoppers in Nolita decipher the best gadgets for the holiday season at a pop-up shop at the Openhouse Gallery. Photo courtesy of CNET