Last Saturday, while the Internet was busy minding its own business, the My Bloody Valentine Facebook page issued this short missive:

“We are preparing to go live with the new album/website this evening. We will make an announcement as soon as its up.”

Then, at 23:58 Greenwich Mean Time, www.mybloodyvalentine.org burst into existence, accompanied by m b v, the band’s third full length and their first album in 22 long, long years.

The site crashed within minutes.

If you’ve seen anyone wandering the street aimlessly, cloudy eyed and with a dirge leaking out of their headphones, that’s yet another popkid who’s still recovering from the shock of finding themselves living in a world where there’s a third My Bloody Valentine record. If you can imagine what a Pentecost experiencing the Rapture* would feel like, you’ll have a good idea of what these boys and girls are going through. The thing they’ve waited for, for what seems like their entire lives, is finally here, but they’re still not really prepared for it. All they can do is put it on ‘replay all’ and let it wash over them.

The first thing that popkid is gonna think once she recovers from that initial shock is, “Wow, nobody makes a My Bloody Valentine album like Kevin Shields.” And you know what? She’s right. Bands from the Scene That Celebrates Itself such as  Slowdive and Ride (not to mention more recent Shoegaze revivalists like Asobi Seksu, Serena-Maneeesh, and Blonde Redhead, just to name a few**) all attempted their take on the My Bloody Valentine sound, to varying degrees of success, but none of them could ever properly replicate the wall of sound that Kevin Shields and company had devised for their seminal second record, 1991′s Loveless. What made that record so unique is how it managed to be delicate and nuanced, while, at the same time, it felt monolithic and impregnable. It was as if it was both liquid and solid at once; from that angle, it’s a duck, but from this one, it’s a rabbit.

While m b v definitely shares it’s sonic DNA with Loveless, to call it a follow-up or a sequel of some sort would be missing the point. Shields himself has said that the album has more in common with MBV’s first LP, Isn’t Anything, and I can see what he’s saying. Loveless is from the other side of the looking glass, while this album is more firmly planted in the real world, even if it is making frequent glances at the mirror. There’s even a little bit of the You Made Me Realize EP’s more standard approach floating around in here, too. But m v b is more than a bunch of throwbacks to the band’s late eighties/early nineties heyday; there’s something new going on, something less polished, something more playful.

Unlike most Shoegaze, this album isn’t afraid to sound like it’s having a bit of fun. This may come as a bit of a surprise to those who have heard the stories of Kevin Shields’ hermetically obsessive studio tweaking, the sleepless night and marathon recording sessions, but m b v sounds like it was fun to make. This is especially clear on my favorite track, “New You,” a lighthearted tune that one might even feel tempted to categorize as ‘funky’. Not that it’s all sunshine and roses: “Only Tomorrow” brings the classic MBV drone to it’s logical conclusion, while instrumental “Nothing Is” is one brutal chord over and over again. I hated it at first. Now I kinda dig it.

It’s not a perfect record, certainly. m b v is very poorly sequenced, and the second half of the album lacks any cohesive flow***. The whole thing just kinda sputters to a halt after the cool but also kinda uninteresting ‘Wonder 2,’ a drum-n-bass inspired attempt to out-dance-music Loveless closer “Soon.” But overall, m b v is a triumphant return from a too-long hiatus.

And that’s NTTOD for this week. You can follow Simon Lazarus Vasta on Twitter @Hunter_S_Narc, or if yer interested in seeing him post photoclusters as re re-watches Twin Peaks, check out his Tumblr.

*Not the band, silly.

**And then even more recently a newer, arguably more interesting batch of Shoegaze revivalists such as The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, DIIV, and The Horrors… holy crap, does three revivals a proper genre make?

*** In fact, I’m beginning to feel like ‘collection’ is a better word for what’s going on here than ‘album.’

My Bloody Valentine, TBA (TBA)

The music masses have been waiting for a follow-up to My Bloody Valentine’s last album, the modern-classic-that-has-been-around-so-long-now-it’s-just-a-classic Loveless, for twenty-one years now. Many, myself included, had given up the faith, stopped chasing that particular white whale, and resigned themselves to crate-digging for early MBV obscurities. But when Kevin Shields reassembled the band in 2007, he did so with accompanying promises of a new record, allegedly 75% finished. Virgins conceived. The sky turned magenta. Popgeeks worldwide wept tears of joy into their Primal Scream bedsheets. But as the weeks turned into months and the months into years, it seemed Shields was making empty promises. The band continued to play sold out shows, but any talk of a new album was seen as just that: talk. That is, until last November, when Shields told the NME to expect a new album by the end of the year. Then, on Christmas Eve, the band confirmed that it had finished mastering three days previous. So, yeah, we don’t have a name, we don’t have a release date, sure, it was supposed to come out last month, but heck, it’s done. It’s coming.

I just hope it isn’t the shoegaze Chinese Democracy.

The Joy Formidable, Wolf’s Law (January 22)

The Joy Formidable are responsible for some of the most ferocious and affecting Indie Rock I’ve heard in ages. One of my favorite things about this Welsh three-piece is how they manage to sound so big, so restless, so undefeatable, and lead single “This Ladder is Ours” is no exception. More maximalist, blow-the-bloody-doors-off pop in 2013!

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Push the Sky (February 18)

After wading around in the sludgy blues-rock purgatory of Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!! and the Grinderman records, Nick Cave seems to finally be returning to the surface. If “We No Who U R” is anything to go by, Push the Sky seems to be a return to the plaintive, sorrowful, nature obsessed poet last heard on 2004’s double album Abattoir Blues/The Lyre of Orpheus. And while I dug my namesake album and Grinderman quite a lot, I’ve missed this guy.

ScHoolboy Q, Oxymoron (TBA)

While last year’s Habits & Contradictions was nothing short of fantastic, Oxymoron looks like it’s shaping up to be a whole different animal. It’s to be Q’s major label debut on Interscope, and in the wake of Black Hippy compatriot Kendrick Lamar’s phenomenal good kid, m.A.A.d city, he’s set the bar pretty high for himself, according to this interview. Here’s hoping he clears it.

David Bowie, The Next Day (March 12)

There is a new Bowie album coming out.

There is a new Bowie album coming out.

There is a new Bowie album coming out.

THERE IS A NEW BOWIE ALBUM COMING OUT AND IT’S THE FIRST ONE IN TEN YEARS AND I’M HYPERVENTILATING OVER HERE YOU GUYS

OH GOD HE’S BACK HE CAME BACK FOR US I’M SO HAPPY

THERE’S A VIDEO WITH PROJECTION PUPPETS AND A SONG OF NORWAY T-SHIRT AND ALSO A LITTLE PUP WALKING AROUND

VISCONTI’S PRODUCING AND THE SONG’S ABOUT BERLIN AND THE END OF THE VIDEO IS ODDLY REMINISCENT OF DAVID MALLET’S BOWIE VIDEOS FROM THE LATE SEVENTIES AND EARLY EIGHTIES

I’M SO EXCITED YOU GUYS

(cough, pant, cough, et cetera)

Achem. Sorry.

I just hope it isn’t the Bowie Chinese Democracy.

We’ll be back next week with more jokes at Axl Rose’s expense, but that’s all for now here at Now Take Them Out Devils HQ. Follow Simon Lazarus Vasta on Twitter @Hunter_S_Narc, and gander at his Tumblr here, where he’ll be obsessively posting screencaps from Revenge for some reason.