Oh, the iRony
An Irish tourist was visiting the Upper West Side Apple store, perusing the laptops, when she became a victim of theft. An unknown man snatched the woman’s white iPhone 4, worth $500, from her unzipped purse. She told police that she couldn’t cancel her cell service until she returned home to Ireland.

Apartment Assault
A man entered his apartment on West 62nd Street to drop off groceries last Tuesday night to be greeted at the elevator doors by a man known only as “Calvin,” his ex-wife’s new boyfriend. The two got into a verbal altercation and Calvin whipped out a knife and stabbed the man in the left side of the chest. Calvin got away but is wanted for felonious assault, and the victim was taken to Cornell Medical Center for treatment.

Loose Laptop
Last week, a man reported that $300 cash and a $1,200 MacBook were stolen from his West 72nd Street apartment. He told police that the apartment was locked and there were no signs of forced entry, but that someone could have gained entry through his unlocked window.

Missing Rings
An 81-year-old woman reported to police that several rings and a green stone had gone missing from her dresser drawer. She said that she had last seen the items, which she valued at $3,850, about eight weeks ago, and that the only person who might have had access to them was her home health aide, who has been working for her for seven months.
Successful Stick-Up
Last Friday morning, a man walked into a Sovereign Bank branch on Broadway, sauntered up to a teller and slipped a note requesting $10,000 in cash. The perp indicated that the teller should be quick about it and not include any dye packs in the loot. He was able to grab $2,000 in cash and flee on foot down Broadway. Police conducted a search and canvas but didn’t find the suspect, who is described as a 6-foot-1 black male in a blue baseball cap.

Suspicious Entry
A legal assistant working at a commercial building on West 77th Street reported a suspicious break-in at her office. Last Wednesday, she left the building at 12:30 p.m., locking the door behind her, and returned around 7 p.m. to find UPS packages sitting behind the locked front door, to which no one else was supposed to have access. She also noticed strange markings around the lock on the door; upon searching inside, she discovered a set of keys on a fifth-floor table. The woman told police that she suspects that the phantom burglar stole documents from a biomedical research office on the second floor of the building in connection with legal action between that company and a pharmaceutical company.

Polite Thief
A woman dining at a Chinese restaurant on Amsterdam Avenue last Saturday was about to leave, forgetting her purse, when a nice young man stopped her outside the door and returned it to her. The woman quickly checked her belongings and ascertained that $75 cash and her debit card were missing. The man denied taking anything from the bag, then promptly hopped on a bicycle and sped off. Another man who worked at the restaurant told the woman that he had seen the first man lift items out of the bag inside.