LESSONS IN NEGATIVITY By Jeanne Martinet Let’s face it. When someone is serving up exceptionally juicy gossip—whether it’s hitherto-uncovered dirt on a person who has been mean to you, an unsavory secret about an unscrupulous business competitor or a scandal about a celebrity—joining in can be a delicious temptation. But the urge to disparage can 
When proximity breeds contempt Readers may remember how often I have expounded on the social benefits of living in this crowded, vibrant, melting (and mingling) pot of a city—where the possibility of conversations with strangers is always right at the tip of your ears, and even if you are too shy to talk to strangers,
And why it’s a bad idea It’s the kind of thing that happens to all of us now and then. Just the other day, I was having lunch with a somewhat imposing young film student to talk about the possibility of his doing a YouTube video to promote my novel. He was both handsome and
Unleashing our inner bitchy selves I was on my way out of St. John the Divine, on 112th Street, after a Saturday night concert when I heard a woman behind me say in a loud, distinctly annoyed tone of voice, “But I don’t understand; why don’t they allow dogs in here?” At first I was
Beach tips for meeting singles Recently, my friend Elizabeth told me about a guy she had started seeing. “How did you meet him?” I wanted to know. “From work? Match.com?” When she told me she had met the man while she was on the beach at Far Rockaway, I confess I nearly dropped my drink.
The hazard of conversational triangulation By Jeanne Martinet Like most single people, I socialize a lot with couples. Most of my friends are in couples. Sometimes we go to the theater or a movie, but often it’s just good conversation over dinner. What I have learned is that the potential problem inherent in single-to-couple socializing 
The urban cloak of invisibility by Jeanne Martinet He came out of nowhere. There I was getting my hair cut, absorbed in the blissful experience of being pampered and beautified, when suddenly I noticed a tall, chiseled man in the mirror right over my head. Hello? But he wasn’t looking at me, he was scrutinizing 
