Would you rather go naked than wear fur, as per the models in the famous anti-fur ad campaign? (I always had a problem with that question: Does it have to be either/or? Can’t I just choose to wear, y’know, regular clothes?)

Well, whether you wouldn’t dream of wearing fur—or dream of wearing fur—this season has seen an explosion of both faux and for-real versions; particularly, though, of the former. You know your position, so pick your preference.

Problem is, you may not always know what you’re buying, and price can be an inaccurate indicator. Case in point: I spotted a pair of plush animal-print earmuffs selling in Midtown for $7.99, about as low-ball a figure as you can find. “Faux fur” read the affixed sticker. Would there be any doubt in your mind that given the price and the sticker, these are indeed a pretend product?

Of course not—but there should be. Upon careful inspection, I noticed a sewn-in label stating “100 percent rabbit fur, made in China.” Yeeks. I pointed out the problem to the seller who seemed dismayed, but not surprised: “Rabbit is cheap,” she shrugged. How sad is that? The life of a sentient creature: cheap; cheaper than polyester pile.

I’m not singling out any one seller for two reasons: The problem is not limited to a single merchant and, second, the fact that the earmuffs’ contradictory sewn-in tag wasn’t snipped out suggests there was no deliberate subterfuge. The takeaway here is caveat emptor. Read all labels, trust your instincts and know that the more established and reputable a brand and retailer are, the likelier it is that you’re buying what you think you are.

A fabulous source of top-name faux-fur finds is Bolton’s. Have you also overlooked this humble but quintessential circa-40-year-old local discount chain (easily predating, in Manhattan, Loeh
mann’s, T.J. Maxx and other more out-there names)? It wasn’t until our recent biannual pilgrimage to the nonpareil jewelry department at Bergdorf Goodman that I found myself, after a long hiatus, peeking into the nearby Bolton’s at 27 W. 57th.

Yowza: Calvin Klein earmuffs fashioned of chocolate-and-gold-spotted pretend fur attached to a leather-like band for just $19.99—the manufacturer’s suggested retail price-tag of $40 is still attached. Klein’s kind-to-animals version sports a discreetly sized gold-metal plaque bearing his name on one side of the band.

Prefer earmuffs in a solid black? Another Klein version here for the same price has the band and ear coverings wrapped in a velvety rich facsimile of beaver pelt; just so you know, the plaque is a bit buried in this model’s piled band.

Evelyn K weighs in with a circular 30-inches-all-around “eternity scarf”—yup, big enough to lasso some waistlines—in a kitten-soft black, brown and coffee-colored plush pile that’s pure Polly Esther; $7.95.

For all-over warmth, consider the spectacular Jones New York whiskey-colored mink-look-alike coat with fit-and-flare shaping, thanks to the multi-tiers sewn in below the waist. This glamorous, approximately knee-length garment has the practical, updating feature of a hood. Its already low price of $159.99 is further discounted 20 percent (perhaps more by the time you read this), and that includes the usual luxury touch of spare buttons.

Are you also kicking yourself for habitually zipping past Bolton’s en route to flashier/newer/trendier stores? Personally, I’m going to wear a (faux) hair shirt.

Chinatown: Stop letting the other ’hoods use me. If they don’t want to meet for dim sum during the day, then they can take their club beats elsewhere at night. And tell Nolita to quit invading my space.Photo by Christopher Schoenbohm

Look at you, New York! I hardly recognize this group of non-smoking, exercising, healthy-eating and organized individuals. What happened? You used to be fun. Interesting, at least.

The truth is, if everyone in New York sticks to their resolutions, it could throw off the balance of this entire city, country and world at large. Grocery stores will sell out of fresh produce, and SeamlessWeb will go under faster than it can send a confirmation email. Gyms will become so overcrowded that citywide riots will break out in a moment of elliptical desperation. Cigarette companies will—er, bad example.

Countless livelihoods depend on your laziness, unhealthy habits and destructive behaviors. Think of the artisan baker who relies on your sweet tooth to pay the bills. Don’t you believe in supporting small businesses? Don’t you want to stimulate the economy? Or how about the bartender who depends on your liquored-up generosity to support his true passion? Thanks to your selfish resolution to drink less, you may be robbing the world of his future Oscar-winning documentary exposing the slaughter of bonobos in the Congo. Maybe that film would have started a worldwide movement to save the bonobos from extinction. Perhaps even inspired an end to the Congo’s years of devastating warfare in the process. Don’t you want to end violence in the Congo? Don’t you think bonobos are cute?

So go ahead and smoke your first cigarette of 2013. Bite that hangnail. Fall so hard off the donut wagon that you might have broken something if not for their—and your—pillowy softness to cushion the landing. It’s the least you can do.

Our neighborhoods, however, are another story. They could use a few resolutions, and from the look of things, they have their work cut out for them in 2013:

Meatpacking: Drink lesssss [hiccup]. And learn Italian.

Chelsea: Stop making fun of MiMa. He didn’t make it up.

West Village: Start growing vegetables on the roofs of my restaurants. Oh wait, that was last year’s.

Midtown: Separate my work from my social life. Leave my Blackberry at—sorry, gotta take this … What? Now? I’m just finishing a scorpion bowl with my boys at BroJim’s. I’ll be at the office in 10.

East Village: Keep my beard clean.

Tribeca: Stop letting myself be defined by my friends. Tell De Niro I need some space. Again.

Nolita: Stop giving all the other neighborhoods adorably personalized gifts from my shops. When did anyone ever give me a necklace made of gilded flower petals in the shape of my name?

Little Italy: Go gluten-free.

Murray Hill (hers): Stop wearing my Kappa Delta Phi butt pants to unlimited champagne brunch.

Murray Hill (his): Stop hitting on girls wearing Kappa Delta Phi butt pants at unlimited champagne brunch.

Times Square: Meditate more. Like, all the time.

“It’s that time of year. This is what we get on the Upper East Side,” said Officer Tarik Hunter, the 19th Police Precinct’s crime prevention specialist. He cited eight reported incidents of pickpocketing in his district since August, most of which have occurred in the past month. This increase mirrors last year’s numbers, and, as Hunter emphasized, only accounts for thefts that have been reported to NYPD: Many people do not realize that their belongings are missing until well after the incident, he said, so they are not sure if they were robbed or simply lost something.

A community affairs officer in Midtown North, Manhattan’s 18th Precinct, confirmed a similar spike in larcenies in his district. “It’s usually the same [each year],” he said, and added that the city’s heavily commercial areas endure a regular holiday increase in shoplifting as well as pickpocketing.
Thefts are, indeed, up across the city this month in keeping with annual trends, the NYPD reported. As well as in crowded public transportation vehicles, they said that many sneaky crooks strike in restaurants, bars and outdoor benches, where absent-minded visitors sometimes leave bags unattended and ripe for picking.

“I’m surprised. I haven’t heard of any [increase],” said John Barrett, a commuter waiting at a bus stop along Madison Avenue, whose buses have been heaviest hit by Upper East side pickpockets, according to Officer Hunter. “Pickpockets—that sounds like something from Charles Dickens.”
Despite his startled reaction, Barrett said that he is diligent in guarding his belongings on public transportation, and checks his pockets whenever someone brushes against him—a habit that he says has won him more than a few mean looks from innocent passersby. “It’s so quick that somebody can take your stuff and leave with it,” he said. “I just try to take precautions.”

Another bus rider was less surprised to hear about the holiday-time thieves. “I’m a New Yorker wherever I go,” said Peggy McDermott-Roberts, a city native who recently returned from a trip to California. “I look at my purse 29 times before and after I get on any bus.” She noticed that on her return to the city, people seemed more anxious on public transport around this time of the year, a bit more frenzied and less attentive.

A third commuter, Sandra Hasman, attributed the increase in thefts to the city’s seasonal influx of tourists. “There are so many more out-of-towners here for the holiday,” she observed. The NYPD confirmed that tourists were prime targets for pickpockets, because they tend to be less aware of the danger and more preoccupied with navigating the city.

However, locals are always at risk, too, officers emphasized. According to an NYPD safety report, pickpockets often hit crowds on bus or subway rides when passengers are so crammed together that it is hard to distinguish the feeling of a sneaky hand. New York pickpockets are also known to orchestrate some elaborate distractions, like a staged shouting match between two apparent strangers, to hold commuters’ attention long enough to steal from them.

The NYPD is taking measures to combat the annual spike, but they say that the best prevention is awareness. Use handbags with zippers and locks, they recommend, and never carry wallets in back pockets. If your find your pocket picked on a bus or train, they suggest that you immediately yell out to warn passengers and the driver / conductor. In their words, “Don’t be afraid to be loud.”

Photo Courtesy of Wiki Commons

The controversy over canceling the New York City marathon this weekend does not merely extend to the dangers posed for runners by downed power lines and flooding throughout the city — it also has to do with displaced residents of downtown Manhattan who just want to go home in peace.

For those who can’t go home, out-of-town marathon participants taking up valuable hotel space and resources has understandably raised tensions.

Other downtown New Yorkers want the rest of the city to understand — between the damage, deficits and crowding — Hurricane Sandy is not yet over for them.

Some have taken to blogging about their experience, hoping uptowners can begin to grasp their struggle, one to which many, they claim, seem blissfully unaware. Some can’t deny they’ve even had a little fun — the grownup equivalent of a snow day, perhaps.

Matthew Russell, a real estate agent with a love for post-apocalyptic movies, is one of them. Russell decided to stick out the storm in his 6th floor East Village apartment. In his blog post about “Living in the Dead Zone,” Russell was careful to note he, a healthy, 29-year-old with enough cash to get by, had an advantage over many. He added some of the elderly tenants who stayed in his building would have simply been unable to descend the “pitch black staircase” to evacuate.

The superintendent in Russell’s building has looked after the elderly tenants everyday, he explains, replenishing the water in their toilets and bringing them warm meals from Queens. Russell uses a hot cup of water, heated with the building’s gas, to “shower” in the morning.

Russell explains the system pedestrians have developed to signal their presence in the darkened streets: “At every intersection pedestrians flash their lights wildly in order to cross in safety, and judging by the driving pace, that is remarkably wise.”

Another blogger, Bianca Posterli, wrote of her experience after witnessing a transformer explode: “I…walked out of my apartment on 9th Street to a scene straight out of the apocalypse.

“While New Yorkers rarely ever talk to each other, here were complete strangers sharing stories, ruminating on what the next few days would hold,” she wrote. “I made my way to the corner, where a line had formed outside of the deli at least 15 people deep. With my cell phone out of order, I did something I thought I’d never have to do – used a pay phone.”

She also noted, insightfully, the one “upside” of Sandy: “For once we’re completely unencumbered by constant access to Twitter, Instagram, and emails. We’re forced to make conversation, get to know our friends, and LISTEN to each other.”

Stan Williams, “Maxim” magazine’s style editor, and his partner also decided to stay in their 7th floor apartment in the Village during the storm, a zone he coined “Zombieville.”  Only about 10 percent of the residents in Williams’s 200-apartment building stuck out the storm.

Williams said daytime was fine, pleasant even, when he’d briskly walk two miles to his midtown office, where he’d camp out for most of the day.  Returning home, however, “was pretty frightening once you got past Flatiron,” especially considering a notable drop in police presence, though in the dark it was difficult to tell if anyone was around at all.

Williams echoed the sentiment of Russell and Posterli, saying: “I feel fortunate. It was inconvenient, but an adventure.” He also noted how the blackout actually helped him focus and boost his productivity. All three were intent on finding a silver lining.

As Russell pointed out, all three seemed aware they were the “best case scenario” as far as storm survivors. “That is NOT the case for most people,” said Russell, who added he was “seriously having a blast.”

Flood and her mother Anette had just parked her car in front of the house five minutes ago. Now, it was teetering on the edge of a 20-foot-deep by 20-foot-wide sinkhole that had opened up while she was inside.

Photo of the Bay Ridge Sinkhole by Twitter user @gazawia

“We’re so blessed,” she told CBS News. “If we were five minutes later or anything, we could have been in the hole.”

FDNY and members of the New York City Department of Environmental Protection (DEP) arrived at the scene — 79th Street between Fourth and Fifth Avenues — and were able to rescue the car. No injuries were reported, though some family’s cars were stuck in their driveways.

According to the DEP, the hole was caused by the collapse of a 50-inch, century-old sewer pipe.  It remains unclear, however, exactly why the hole opened up.

DEP spokesperson Jim Roberts says repairs will last at least through the weekend. “It’s a reasonably deep excavation, so we have to be cautious about how we go about it so it’s safely done,”  he told CBS.

Some residents are skeptical about the quality of work that is going into the city’s street construction in the first place. Christine Hansen said to CBS, “The work is shabby. They’re not doing the work right. It’s not being filled in properly.”

Whether or not Hansen is correct, this certainly isn’t the first sinkhole the city has seen. In fact, one appeared last month just 15 blocks away.

One struck 106th Street in Manhattan a year ago when a water main broke and flooded several subway stations.

A reoccurring one also stopped traffic in Midtown last year.

One hit Bedford Park in 2010.

One even swallowed an SUV in Brooklyn back in 2006.

The list goes on, sadly. Know of more? Share your New York City sinkhole story below!

Photo courtesy of Wiki Commons.

Midtown in Motion, a traffic system unveiled by Mayor Bloomberg and Department of Transportation (DOT) officials in July of last year, will be expanded due to its initial success in congestion reduction.

The first phase of Midtown in Motion saw a 10 percent increase in travel speeds, the DOT announced in a press release yesterday. The results won the NYC DOT a transportation technology award from ITS America, for creating a model for other cities as well as minimizing pollution.

The system’s success comes from its ability to relay traffic conditions to city traffic engineers in real time. The initial phase included various microwave sensors, video cameras and EZ pass readers. Real-time traffic information allows controllers to immediately identify issues and adjust patterns, avoiding bottlenecks and promoting the ability of drivers traveling at a constant speed on avenues to hit all green lights.

“The service area will more than double in size to include Midtown from 1st to 9th avenues and from 42nd to 57th streets,” the press release explained. “This state-of-the-art equipment is also more weather-resistant and tamperproof, and requires less maintenance than previous generations, which could only be adjusted based on time of day, leaving no ability to respond to crashes, construction, or special events.”

The expansions will cost $2.9 million, with funding provided by the City and New York State.

“When Midtown moves, New York City moves,” said DOT Commissioner Janette Sadik-Khan of the project’s success. “While every New Yorker talks about beating the traffic…we’ve taken decisive steps towards managing it more effectively.”

—Alissa Fleck

Food-wise, the actual pizzas remain true to the Neapolitan style and were some of the best I have tried in the city. The trick, says Cilio, is in the oven and in the ingredients, most of which he imports straight from the source. You can really taste the difference in the caprese salad ($8.50), a beautifully plated dish of bright red and yellow tomatoes drizzled with olive oil and perfect, light wedges of fresh Buffalo mozzarella. The insalata ($14) comes with their special house-made burrata, a creamy orb, oozing with milk and silky smooth, which pairs winningly with artistic triangles of watermelon, buttery sprigs of mache, or lamb’s lettuce, and tomato to create a salty-sweet palette that combines crunchy with supple textures.

We started the night with a bottle of white lambrusco ($9 a glass, $33 a bottle), a rounder, fuller bubbly than your basic prosecco. This went well with the prosciutto crudo con fichi ($9), a plate of 18-month cured meat with black mission figs and salty shaved Parmigianino Reggiano. It also complemented the tartara di tonno ($11.50), a dish that really surprised me as the espresso-sized mound of yellowfin tuna tartar melded wonderfully with diced, wood-fired, roasted tomato, giving the raw, fresh fish a smoky tinge. Off the bar menu, we sampled the bruschetta con burrata e tartufo ($9), an airy crostini made with pizza dough bread and topped with cheese and black truffle pesto that pleasantly overrode my umami senses with each nibble.

These bites proved great, but the pizzas are the real stars. On one balmy evening, I headed down to PizzArte to meet Cilio and sample his favorite pies. First on the list: the verace ($19), a classic combo of San Marzano tomatoes, Buffalo mozzarella and fresh basil. With the first chew, I knew Cilio and his team of Italian chefs were on the right track. The dough had the proper tinge of sweetness to it, a nice char on the top of the pliable crust, and the dough holding the ingredients proved thin, with just enough thickness to secure the toppings. Fantastico.

Another aspect that shouldn’t be missed: the extensive list of affordable Italian wines. A bottle of the dark, berrytinged ’06 Produttori del Barbaresco ($55) paired nicely with the pizzas, like the diavola ($16). This pie created a completely different flavor sensation than the verace. Where the latter came out light and sweet, the diavola had a kick from thin strips of spicy salame. It maintained a brightness from the tomatoes but contained a heartier mouthfeel. Their namesake, the PizzaArte ($21), also leans on the savory side with meaty bits of speck thrown in with zucchini blossoms. The main difference with this pie is the use of burrata cheese and no tomato, leaving the dish a bit denser. I had my doubts about the tartufata ($23) because of the Gorgonzola. I would love to love that cheese, but I have found few that agree with my taste buds. However, on this pizza, mixed with pulverized walnuts, mozzarella and black truffle, the Gorgonzola sang, and for a moment I understood what the fuss was about. More of a dessert pizza, the dish came out sweet, savory and bursting with earthy goodness, a combo I can’t recommend enough.

For dessert, I adored the martini glass filled with fluffy, coffee-tinged tiramisu ($9), a not-too-sweet treat that balanced nicely with the fruity Brachetto D’Acqui ($10 a glass). In the end, what makes PizzArte work can be found in the pure joy and enthusiasm Cilio puts into his restaurant. A lawyer by day, he spends every night here, eating the food, talking to customers and really being a part of the business. When you talk to him, his excitement over his goods shines through, and with each bite and sip of wine, you can tell he feels at home and wants to share that comfort with his guests.

>> PizzArte

69 W. 55th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.),

www.pizzarteny.com.

A self-described family man, Osmani said getting married to his wife Nazima and having kids motivated him to get a job as a cleaner at Paramount Plaza.

Last winter, Agron Osmani stayed at work until 3:30 a.m. clearing Paramount Plaza of snow. Photo by Janet Lawrence

“It has good pay and its benefits are great. With the kids, for me that is more important than pay,” he said during an interview in the basement office of the 48-story steel and glass building.

Osmani emigrated from Albania in 1986 and now lives on Staten Island. His job, which entails everything from dusting tall shelves to shampooing carpets, can encompass a wide variety of activities.

“There is no ‘most important’ job. Anything they ask me to do, I do. My specialty is everything,” he said with a laugh.

The biggest challenge is when it snows. And that can be pretty often, during a New York City winter.

“Last year’s snowstorm, I stayed until 3:30 in the morning, shoveling, pouring salt,” he said. “When it snows, you can’t just go home, you have to keep up with the snow. And if it goes until 4 in the morning, you stay till 4 in the morning.”

But even the late nights are outweighed by the best parts of the job, Osmani said, like when a tenant thanks him for his work.

Among staff, Osmani is best known as the shop steward, or liaison between the union and his fellow cleaners at 1633 Broadway. In that role, he travels to union rallies and meetings all over the east coast, and once saw Sen. Ted Kennedy speak on immigration issues in Washington, D.C.

Martin Camaj, Osmani’s foreman said, “He’s incredibly hardworking. And he connects the workers with the union very successfully.”

That probably has something to do with the fact that Osmani clearly enjoys his job.

“I like to be involved with the building. I like to talk to the workers,” he said.

Before Osmani came to the United States, he studied law and languages. He speaks English, Albanian and several Yugoslavian languages, and has picked up some Spanish over the years. These skills allow him to communicate with a variety of workers and bring their concerns to the union’s attention.

Rexhep “Reggie” Jaupi, 45, a fellow cleaner said, “You can talk to him. He listens to you.”

Of course, the best days are the weekends, when Osmani gets to encourage his kids with their schoolwork and takes the whole family out to dinner.

“Family first,” he said, “The job is great, but family first.”