“Obama won, but he’s got no mandate,” said Charles Krauthammer. That may be the dumbest thing I’ve seen all day. And I read Trump’s tweets.

— Touré (@Toure) November 7, 2012

Some pointed out that winning both the electoral and popular vote does, in fact, signal a mandate.

Since Obama won almost all the swing states, and we somehow elected them our deciders, shouldn’t that be considered a mandate?

— Bill Maher (@billmaher) November 7, 2012

And some rightfully called attention to the fact that the more times you say “mandate” out loud, the less sure you are of the definition.

Everyone is wondering if Obama got a mandate. If he wants one, he should just ask Biden to a movie or something.

— Justin Robinson (@JustinSRobinson) November 7, 2012

Which brings us to the question, what is a mandate, and does Obama have one? I prefer not to answer that question, because I’m really tired of the word mandate. Instead, let’s just all agree that despite whatever grumblings Republicans will put forth in the next days/weeks/months, Obama won the election, and shockingly, that’s the only thing he needs in order to, you know, be the president. (I won’t even go into all the Democratic, progressive candidates who won their Senate races, or the marriage equality measures that passed in three states, or the legalization of marijuana, or the fact that voters have affirmed that “legitimate rape” is not a thing.)

If we’re going to get all into-the-weeds about it, the last true mandate given to a president, it could be argued, was to President Reagan over Walter Mondale in 1984, when the incumbent Republican beat his challenger with 58.8 percent of the popular vote. Bush the First won his election with 53.4 percent of the popular vote, then Clinton won with 43 percent and then again with 49.2 percent. And THEN, Gore won the popular vote with 48.4 percent, and Bush STILL got to be president with only 47.9 (one might call that a nega-mandate). He nudged the needle a bit to win 50.7 percent to Kerry’s 48.3 percent in 2004, which inspired many a Republican pundit to declare that Bush had scored a mandate at the time. Obama won his first election with 52.9 percent, and according to Nate Silver, Chief Numerical Witch of the U.S.A., has received 50.8 percent of the popular vote, to Mitt Romney’s 48.3, in yesterday’s election.

Numbers! Do they make a mandate? I don’t know! The fact is, Obama won re-election and will now proceed to carry out his agenda. You can like that or not like it, but arguing about a mandate doesn’t change that fact. Now can we please stop talking about it and let the man go back to leading the country? If he needs it, he can totally have my mandate, if I ever find it under this mess of papers on my desk.

I have been seeing this guy for the past month. He is great in bed, but I worry that he thinks we are in a quasi-relationship and is getting a little too attached. He wants to tell our friends about us, but I have just been avoiding the question. To make matters more complicated, he is the brother of one of my roommates so he drops by all the time unannounced. How do I get him to stop coming over all the time? And how should I respond to his emotional intensity?

Congratulations! You just asked the million-dollar question. If only I knew the answer to that one…

I must admit, you really do need help. Not only are you stuck in the “my booty call is getting too attached” dilemma (which by the way you just proved happens to girls also) but you got to deal with a major complication as well!

His freakin’ sibling is your roommate? I think you just set a new standard for fucked up shit.

I’ll be honest: my instinct is telling me to tell you that you are pretty much screwed. Up to your neck in some kind of unidentified green goo. But that wouldn’t be very nice. So, being the (cough) gentleman that I am, I’ll do my best you give you some pointers.

What you want to establish first is, is he worth it? Because to me, the obvious solution would be to dump him. But if he’s really that great in bed, or if you think that maybe you could fall for him eventually, you should probably consider the alternatives first.

Speaking about alternatives, it’s not like you have that many to chose from. But worry not! After a very painful brain-rattling session, I came up with two (!) possible plans to make that guy understand that you need your space.

My first brilliant idea: Talk to him (any ungrateful reaction vaguely resembling a “thanks captain obvious” will be met with severe punishment.) Wait, there’s more.

So you talk to him, and try to explain in the nicest possible way that he is slowly draining the life energy out of you. Thankfully, you’re not the first person this has happened to, which gives you an abundance of clichés to chose from. Here’s an arbitrary selection:

“I need my space”

“I’m not looking for a relationship right now”

“I feel like I have no privacy with you dropping by unannounced all the time”

“I think I may have pinkeye?”

“What has a tail, a head, is brown and has no legs?” * (Granted, that last one will probably just buy you some time)

Seriously though, once you’ve jumped in, the conversation should flow by itself. The hard part is bringing it up. I guess you could just pout all day until he asks you what’s up. That’s what I would do. Or get really drunk with him, but that can always backfire.

Ok so, brilliant idea number two: Let’s say you really want to avoid the whole “let’s talk” thingy. You could always go for subtlety. Just grow increasingly distant. Don’t reply to texts that often, tell him you’re busy, especially when he drops by to “see his brother.” In theory, he should get that he’s being too involved. In theory. Then again, men are pretty clueless creatures…

In the end, whether you go for the direct or indirect approach, your success will largely be determined by a factor you can’t really control: His reaction. Of course, chances are that he is a mature, reasonable individual who would rather see a little less of you than lose you completely, and he’ll start putting effort into not being so clingy.

OR he’ll just go into a nervous breakdown, cry like a baby and beg you to stay with him, because you see, he loves you. If that’s the case, we are pretty much back to square one: You’re screwed.

Send your questions to mmaier@manhattanmedia.com or via twitter @N_YPress.

* Yes, you curious scoundrels, there is an answer to that riddle: A penny! Good one, no?

Question of the week: I’ve been going out with this guy for a couple of weeks now. It’s going really well but I’m feeling a bit nervous about meeting his friends. How hard should I try to make a good impression?

Ok, Bromance 101: Guys do talk to their bros about their girlfriends. Not always in a touchy-feely, “I like her so much sometimes I’m afraid I’m going to lose her” kind of way, but they do. They aren’t necessarily looking for approval though. And unless you’re a real b****, his friends will probably not tell him to dump you. In fact, us guys talk about you in a much less detailed way than you talk about us. Really, the only thing we want to know from our bros is this: Do you think she’s hot?

So yes, it is important that his friends like you, or at least that they don’t hate you. But really, they don’t have to love you either. In fact, that would probably be a bad idea.

Don’t be trying to win them over, hoping that the next time you and your guy clash about his obvious lack of desire to wear pants on Sundays, they will take your side and, you know, talk some sense into him. Probably not gonna happen, and if it does, well I don’t know that it would be such a good thing.

You also don’t want them texting you when your boyfriend is off to see his auntie in Jersey for the weekend. So really, what we are looking for here is a middle ground.

I guess I’m going to make myself useful now. So here are a few tips to come off as the cool laid back, sexy and awesome girlfriend that you probably already are:

1. Don’t be shy. Sure, sitting in a corner, holding his hand and politely smiling at everyone won’t make them hate you, but they won’t like you either. Engage conversation. Ask them questions. Talk about yourself. Also, make sure to keep your guy in the loop if he’s the jealous type. You don’t want to be ignoring him either.

2. Don’t try too hard to look cool. You don’t want to come off as if you’re absolutely trying to impress. Just be yourself! (Hey, I’m doing this pro-bono. If you want some less cliché phrasing go ask Cosmo. Oh wait, nevermind…)

3. Have a beer! Or eventually a whisky. If you don’t like either, well, maybe a gin tonic will do the trick? But seriously, a beer will make you infinitely cooler. Just try to avoid Appletinis.

4. Don’t talk about sex. Also, stay away from any kind of flirting. If one of them does flirt with you, politely ignore him. The last thing you want is to lead them on. If you do, you can be sure that their next talk about you won’t be all unicorns and rose petals. Or maybe slutty unicorns. And no Spring Break stuff either please.

5. Almost forgot the most important tip of all: Just relax! I’d say the best way to do that is probably to disregard everything I just said.

Send your questions to mmaier@manhattanmedia.com or via twitter @N_YPress.

I’ve been dating this guy for 5 months. we spend every weekend together and talk everyday but neither of us refer to the other as “boyfriend” or “girlfriend.” at first it started as a joke that we just call each other friends. how do i bring this up without sounding like I’m in high school?

What’s wrong with high school? At least you knew where you stood in your relationship. If you were hooking up with a guy, he was your boyfriend. He knew it, you knew it, everyone knew it. That was it. Wasn’t life so much easier?

Behind an apparently childish attachment to terms ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ lies the extremely relevant question of exclusivity. As long as you don’t name it, there is in theory nothing stopping you or your guy to go poke your noses around elsewhere. When you are “just friends”, it is implied that the both of you can do what you want. You don’t do it because you don’t want to, or maybe you do and just stay quiet about it. But as soon as those words are pronounced, both parties enter an implicit contract of exclusivity.

Now, for an unknown and mystical reason that can probably be traced back to the genetic make-up of our cavemen ancestors, hearing the words “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” tends to freak most guys out. I know many men (me included) who can have a drama-free relationship for 5 months no problemo, but as soon as the words are pronounced, will seriously start to consider moving on to greener pastures.

I can’t really explain it, but there you have it. Once its official, we start looking for problems. Because if there are no problems, we might stay with you forever! That is not a thing many guys like to think about.

This is by no means a universal statement. There are many guys out there who love relationships as much as you do, they are just a minority. But in this particular case, being “just friends” after a 5 months relationship seems to indicate that your man isn’t a fan of commitment.

So how to approach the question of exclusivity without uttering the words “boyfriend” or “relationship”? How can you subtly broach the topic of whether you are allowed to have sex with other people without seeming like you’re trying to tie him down for a lifelong commitment? Here are a few pointers:

1. Make him jealous. Let other guys flirt with you at a party or something. Chances are, if he is the jealous type, he will bring up the subject himself eventually.
2. Get drunk and throw a fit. Catch phrases such as “you don’t love me as much as I do” or “what’s the bitch’s name?” are almost guaranteed to make him flee faster than a kitty on steroids. But hey, at least you’ll have talked about it.
3. Innocently change your relationship status on facebook, and see what happens.
4. Casually drop the BF-bomb during a conversation. For example, tell an anecdote of when you went shopping with a friend, and she wanted to buy a kayaking helmet, and you were all like “oh my god, my Boyfriend loves kayaking!”. Observe his reaction.
5. Talk about it like adults. Sit him down, give him a beer and confront him. (WARNING: There is a strong possibility that this will end like 2.)
6. Just make him jealous already. He’ll bring it up.

Seriously though, words are just words. I know it’s reassuring to know where you stand, but don’t attach too much importance to it and let it ruin your relationship. If you see him starting to check for exits when you say “we need to talk”, it’s probably best to let it go and see what happens.