Photo courtesy of New York Family Magazine.

By Heather Chaet

My name is Heather and I have a confession.

I wear mom jeans.

I’m not quite channeling Tina Fey in that “Saturday Night Live” sketch. And my denim isn’t as scary as those Pajama Jeans advertised on TV. Yet, in my jeans, I’m sloppy, dowdy, and frowzy… Yes, rejected Smurf names could describe how I look. I know I have a problem, but I have no clue how to fix it. Paralyzed by so many choices when shopping, I get stuck. Stuck while wearing mom jeans. Not good, people. Not. Good. At. All.

Enter Beckie Klein and Martina Gordon, a.k.a. my Fairy Godmodels. When I met New York Family’s resident style mavens for drinks, it ohsoquickly turned into a jean-tervention. “Jeans are part of your closet’s foundation, just like the
little black dress or the white shirt,” they told me. “Once you have the right foundation, everything else falls into place.”

My days of wearing mom jeans had to stop. With Beckie and Martina as my guides, I now have that elusive perfect pair of jeans (actually three of them). Sure, it took nine stores and five hours, but you can do it too—by following Beckie and Martina’s five laws for finding the best pair of jeans for your bod.

Law #1: Meet Slim, everyone’s BFF.
“The only jean you really need is a slim, fitted jean in the dark wash,” Martina says. Also called skinny or straight, “all of our clients—sizes 0 to 14—rock in this style of jeans. It follows the simple rule that if it fits and is body-hugging, it’s more flattering than when you try to hide your figure,” Beckie adds. Other must-haves: a white pair and a grey pair or a pair in a dark, but more casual wash.

Law #2: It’s going to take time.
“Think of jeans shopping as a mission,” Beckie reminds me. “Go to stores where you can try many different brands at one time,” Martina says. And forget the number on the tag – try on your regular size, as well as a size up and a size down. The process may be frustrating, but it is one worth doing. “You are investing this time to save time later – after you find the perfect jeans, your daily dressing will be so much easier,” Martina adds.

Law #3: Price doesn’t matter.
Beckie and Martina swear by a pair of jeans that costs $40. So, why should I buy one that costs $189? “You don’t need to – if you find the perfect jean for $59, buy a couple of pairs and call it a day,” Beckie says. If you find a pair that screams “I will change your life!” and costs a bit more than you usually spend, Martina says to think about how many times you will wear them. If you live in jeans like I do, the “cost per wear” is pennies, even for a $150 pair.

To read the full article at New York Family Magazine click here.

Samantha Bee has made me laugh so hard I’ve hiccupped for 23 minutes straight as I watched her flex her funny bone on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. She has made me cackle to the point where I’ve forgotten what time it was as I devour the essays in her book I Know I Am, But What Are You?. And yes, I’ve snickered so fiercely reading her “Eating Over The Sink” blog on Babble.com, that I have, as we say in our abode, tooted.

Over a relaxed afternoon conversation at a chic hotel bar, Samantha confesses, shares and confides about her life and experiences in parenthood with an equal measure of wit and honesty—from working with her husband and the one thing in this world that will make her “Tiger-Mom out,” to how her boobs will look after breastfeeding for 72 months straight. Find out how this smart and hilarious mom navigates New York City with three kids—and what makes her laugh.

You’re the Most Senior Correspondent on The Daily Show, you guest star on tons of television shows and movies, you’ve written a book, you blog, you have three kids under the age of six [Piper, 6-years-old; Fletcher, 3; and Ripley, 17 months], you have good hair…how do you get it all done? Do you have a clone?
Yes—and my clone technology is about to take the world by storm. I have a science lab in my apartment… I should, for the record, say I don’t live in a one-bedroom apartment anymore. I live in a 2.5-bedroom apartment.

What is in the “point-five” room?
The point-five room is what we use as a home office, but basically, it’s just a different kind of playroom with important documents that the baby can get into. She knows our passports are in there, and she should go for them…and we are not smart enough to move our passports to higher ground.

So how do you do it all?
I really don’t think I do anything unusual. Jason is one-half of our whole, so I have a complete 50% partner in this experience. Together, we are constantly doing teamwork at all points of the day. Our work environment is so supportive about our schedule. We are very fortunate.

You and Jason Jones, fellow Daily Show correspondent, raise a family and work together. Do you ever get sick of each other?
I did notice last week, on many occasions, he did not listen to the details of what I was saying and then even when he would ask me about those details later on, and I repeated the details, he wasn’t even listening then. So, I think that he has an effective way of tuning me out when he needs private mental space. Everyone needs private mental space.

You met doing children’s theater. Who told the first joke?
Doing children’s theater is a free-for-all for jokes, so I couldn’t even tell you. The first time we really noticed each other is so nerdy. Somebody asked me what my favorite movie was of all time. I had to say that my sentimental favorite was Star Wars, and that was the first time he ever really looked at me.

You write a Babble blog called “Eating Over The Sink” with fellow Canadian funny mom/actress Allana Harkin. What seems to be the parenting topic that really riles up the blogosphere?
We didn’t realize that the topic of breastfeeding was the world’s most hot button issue. I wrote a post thinking about what shape my boobs will be once I stop breastfeeding. I’m still breastfeeding, and I was thinking about how my older daughter just turned six, so I haven’t really seen [my boobs] au natural, with no other usage in six years. I have no idea what they will look like. They could look the same. They could be ten times better…though, that’s not my impulse.

So what happened on the blog?
I was just ruminating on that topic, and it made people go ballistic. Basically, I got accused of sabotaging people who wanted to breastfeed, as the message I was putting out into the universe about breastfeeding wasn’t necessarily 100% positive. So, our retort was, “Did you not read the part where I was breastfeeding for 72 months straight?” What I do support is choice in all matters concerning your own body. The reactions [to our blog] have been very positive, and the negativity has been more interesting and slightly more amusing than horrifying, and it’s very infrequent.

To read the full interview, pick up the latest issue of New York Family, or click here.