By Elian Zach

Just when I was about to formally change New York’s title from “The City That Never Sleeps” to “Sleepytown,” I found hope in the form of a delicious cardiac arrest.

At 2:30 a.m. on a Thursday night, I was walking with my man around the cold streets of SoHo, looking for a place to eat. Our three-hour long disco nap, from which we woke at 11 p.m., left us both wired and starving, and after two shots of overpriced tequila at a club full of douchebags, all we wanted was to have an amazing meal and gaze into each other’s candlelit eyes. Not too much to ask for in the greatest city in the world, right?

Wrong.

Apparently, “open late” is an incredibly subjective term. We were turned away from four different self-proclaimed “open late” joints, and my sexy strut was becoming increasingly painful to watch, as my cheap, yet beautiful, high-heeled booties started to betray me.

My man, a resourceful and devoted foodie and chef, knew all too well that our night couldn’t possibly end with a grilled cheese and a side of misery at some dingy diner. He was so eager to fulfill my insatiable craving for something of the “best I’ve ever had” variety, that I couldn’t decide whether his determination was more adorable or exhausting. I was about to accept my cereal in almond milk fate, when he suddenly gave me a knowing smile, squeezed my hand lightly, and said, “Oh, I know. I know.”

We walked a few blocks over to Sullivan between Spring and Prince, and entered Blue Ribbon Brasserie. I hadn’t been there in years and forgot it even existed. We ordered a bunch of delicious dishes from their classic and extensive menu, which they serve in full until 4 a.m. seven nights a week. After scarfing down grilled sardines with anchovy spread, steak tartare, matzo ball soup, and a great deal of bread and butter, we realized that one of the dishes had yet to arrive. When it finally did, we were far from hungry, which only proved how amazing it really was, because we finished the whole thing.

Beef Marrow & Oxtail Marmalade

Where do I begin? The marrow was smooth and buttery, and each bone had a generous amount of it hidden inside. The braised oxtail marmalade was subtly sweet and had the caressing texture that only a good long braising process can accomplish. The fried parsley garnish added a fresh and crispy twist, while the sel-gris (grey salt) brought it home, uniting the different elements on a beautifully toasted brioche, crunchy and slightly burnt on the outside and soft and spongy on the inside. In short, a delicate collage of flavors that equaled a truly perfect bite.

Price: $16.75

Blue Ribbon Brasserie

97 Sullivan Street

Hours: Every day between 4 p.m.- 4 a.m.

Phone: (212) 274-0404

Reservations available for parties of 5-8

EATING HABITS AREN’T REALLY SO HARD TO CHANGE

Resolutions are an easy way to absolve yourself of the sins of December. Too much eggnog? You’re going to find the diet that really works. Black out at the company Christmas party? No more than one drink a week for you from now on! Suck wind at that Turkey Trot your cousin bullied you into? This is the year you run the marathon, somehow. That’s about the level of thought that most people put into their resolutions, which translates almost directly to the ease with which those resolutions fall by the wayside. Easy come, easy go.

But we are fans of using the New Year as an opportunity for taking stock. This exercise should be about behaviors and habits, breaking bad ones and making new good ones. It’s not about punishment and low self-esteem; most importantly, it’s not quantitative—you don’t get a gold star and permission to quit once you’ve lost those 12 pounds; make a fundamental shift and stick with it.
So. Now that you’ve awakened early to go for a jog exactly twice, only to discover that it’s still dark out at 6 a.m. and your bed is somehow exponentially more comfortable after that first snooze button, you’re ready to try on a different kind of resolution. Here are the ones we’re committing to this year.

Leave the borough. The amount of time we spend seeking out new restaurants is enough to have learned a new language. But the minute we see the address on that interesting new place is in Williamsburg, our defenses clamp down. “It’s so far! It’s full of hipsters!” Well, yes. But so is the Lower East Side, and we were first in line at the Bowery Diner.

To start, get yourself to Gwynnett Street (312 Graham Ave., Williamsburg; gwynnettst.com ) ASAP; it’s been the talk of the town all year and turned up on all the “Best of 2012” lists that matter. Whiskey bread to start and a seasonally driven menu full of surprising, comfortable combinations, exquisitely presented without toppling over into the precious, will be more than enough to outweigh that moustache-packed L train ride in.

Just say no to bacon. Yes, we know, bacon is delicious. It is concentrated fat and salt, two of the things our brains are chemically wired to seek out at all costs, so saying you love bacon is as unnecessary as expounding your love of oxygen. Unfortunately, chefs have started relying heavily on this meaty crutch to prop up otherwise unlovable dishes. This year, vow to read the menu in full, and don’t fall for the shiny object dangling in front of you. At brunch at Print (653 11th Ave.; printrestaurant.com), resist the maple bacon sticky buns, an overload of sweet topped with an obscene shower of chopped bacon, and go for a properly flaky croissant or semolina raisin bread French toast, a hearty foil to as much maple syrup as you can pour on.

Try things you think you don’t like. Obviously this does not apply to serious allergies. But if you’ve always hated mushrooms because they’re too slimy or avoided cabbage because you had an over-boiled boiled dinner as a kid, now’s the time to banish that old sense memory. Ninety-five percent of the time, the fault is with the chef, not the ingredient, so find someone you trust and put yourself in their hands.

If vegetables are the enemy, go kamikaze at Dirt Candy (430 E. 9th St.; dirtcandynyc.com), whose menu is entirely vegetarian, much of it vegan, and the restaurant nonetheless remains one of the New York Times’ favorite spots. Mushrooms don’t stand a chance against a portobello mousse served with truffled toast—chances are whatever your aversion might be, it will meet its match here as well. Unless you’re one of those people genetically programmed to hate cilantro. If so, we’re sorry.

In most of the United States, if all you knew about Spain came from the Spanish restaurants in your town, you’d be laboring under the impression that everyone in Spain listens exclusively to folk music, uses too much paprika and hasn’t yet reached the Iron Age, preferring to cook exclusively in terra cotta crocks. These are places to which you go out for tapas, apparently the staple food of Spaniards. Unlike many such national minstrel shows (the red-sauce Italian, moo-shu Chinese or plate-breaking Greek), these notions are based in a reality that continues to exist; however, they should never have come to represent a nation of millions.

In New York City, there is one kind of restaurant that is sorely lacking; one that is the bedrock of Spanish food culture. It’s a small, casual bar that just happens to serve better food than it needs to, a place where eating is not the point of your evening, it’s just an ever-present element thereof. You go out to meet friends, to talk, to hang out; you have some cheese, a plate of anchovies, a little bread to keep you going. Arguing about who makes the best pan con tomate and whether to get the squid or the chorizo may be most of the conversation, but you’ll never sit in front of a massive plate, taking photos and eating in silence until the next course comes. It’s aspirational living at its best, being incredibly exacting about food while treating it with the nonchalance it deserves.

This is what you get at Bar Jamón (125 E. 17th St., casamononyc.com), the round-the-corner companion to Mario Batali’s longstanding Casa Mono. The narrow, dark-wood-lined space is unforgivingly small, the room dominated by a winding, high-topped table and a narrow marble bar at the entry that also serves as wine display and prep space. Enormous mirrors cover the walls at both ends of the room, one marked in white with the menu, the other reflecting diners’ flushed, laughing faces back to them in the shimmer of candlelight.

It is a perfectly romantic location to put your date through a surreptitious battery of tests: Are they adventurous, or will they blanch when told that the “pulpo” in pulpo with spicy garbanzos is octopus (though you might let them—more for the rest of us!)? Can they appreciate a dish almost ludicrous in its simplicity like that pan con tomate, two slices of toasted bread smeared with olive oil and tomato pulp and a judicious scattering of chunky salt? It’s the best in the city precisely because of that simplicity, relying on the quality of the sharply green oil and obscenely red tomatoes rather than chef-y theatrics to dazzle.

Should your date fail the tests, there’s plenty to drown your sorrows in a wine list that is second to none for highlighting the varietals that are routinely overshadowed by dark red malbecs and tempranillos on most round-the-world wine lists. For a lighter way to spend your night, one of the Basque txakolis is the only way to go. What is otherwise an exceptionally well-balanced, mid-weight white is made sublime by its presentation: poured in a thin stream into a small carafe from as high as your waiter’s wingspan can manage, the aeration lending a slight effervescence that lurks without overpowering the palate. Like sparkling wines it pairs perfectly with rich, fatty foods like cheeses and the eponymous jamón, but as a heavier white it works just as well with brighter, more acidic foods like olives and stuffed piquillo peppers.

Whatever you do, don’t order all at once. Get one plate at a time, linger over your (generously sized) glass of wine, people-watch, have a real conversation with your companion. In other words, get Spanish.

Before the official end of summer, savor this colorful and delicious recipe. Add in a touch of basil, and you have a wonderful salad your whole family will love!

Ingredients (serves 4)
1/2 lb. of baby heirloom tomatoes (about 2 containers); washed, with larger ones cut in half.
2 cups of chopped watermelon; seeds removed.
1 tablespoon fresh basil, washed and sliced into thin strips
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
4 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1/2 teaspoon kosher or coarse sea salt

Directions
Place tomatoes and watermelon in a large mixing bowl or serving platter, add salt, and mix well with a spoon.
Sprinkle chopped basil on top.

Pour the balsamic vinegar and olive oil into a bowl and mix well with a wire whisk. Drizzle over the tomatoes and watermelon.

Serve and enjoy!

TIP
Leftovers can be stored in an airtight container for up to three days in the refrigerator and up to three months in the freezer.

With so many Italian eateries in New York City, it can be difficult to find an “authentic” one—offering 100 percent home-cooked food and an ambience that transports diners to Italy, if only for an hour or two. Dopo Teatro East, which opened on East 62nd Street between First and Second avenues at the end of June, does just that.

Diners are greeted with a “buona sera” as they enter the front of the restaurant, where they find a bar stocked with drinks to complement the restaurant’s dishes. An ornate—yet not gaudy—chandelier with small crystals hanging from it adds to the sophisticated character of the setting.

The manager, Albi Mecaj, and the chef, the Italian-born Salvatore DiBella, are very attentive to diners and help them to pick the exact kind of meal they are looking for, from the main course to the beverage to the dessert.

“You have to offer 100 percent,” Mecaj said. “While you’re in the restaurant, everything has to be constant, from the beginning to the end. And the perfect example that I always give when I train my employees, I tell them, ‘Picture this as a show, as a theater show. The moment the curtains open, the show starts, and there is no way you can [make] a mistake and come back, because it’s live.’”

In the short time the restaurant has been open, it has already attracted regulars, and it’s no surprise after tasting some of the most popular dishes.

My first plate, filled with seafood, offered an eclectic but savory combination of flavors. The grilled vegetables mixed with grilled calamari and grilled scampi was rich with flavor, and the balsamic reduction dressing drizzled over the top added an additional punch. The yellowfin tuna medallions, served with olives, capers, thyme and aged balsamic reduction, is a must-try for seafood lovers—it had a distinctive, yet not overwhelming taste. I also tried thinly sliced salmon over fresh fennel, which was light and refreshing.

The pasta samplings were equally satisfying. The large tube pasta with eggplant, salted ricotta, tomato sauce, garlic and basil was perfectly prepared—each item in the dish had a distinctive taste. The ravioli filled with buffalo mozzarella, butter and sage was also a delight—once I cut into the ravioli, I found that the mozzarella was a perfect consistency—soft, but not greasy or too stringy. The sage was a nice touch, and had that melt-in-your-mouth quality. Mecaj said the ravioli filled with shrimp in lobster reduction is his favorite pasta dish served at the restaurant—and I agree. The fish and pasta complement each other in both flavor and texture, and no grated cheese or any additional flavoring is necessary on this dish.

I also tried a plate of pan-seared sea bass with prawn, Prosecco reduction, cherry tomatoes and capers. The sea bass was light and delicious, and the cherry tomatoes and capers also added some welcome flavor.

A glass of sparkling Prosecco wine made these dishes all the better—and especially worked well with the flavors of the fish. Toward the end of the meal, I tried one of the restaurant’s top red wines, which was slightly stronger, and also a well-selected complement.

The dessert, called semifreddo, with gelato, small nuts, strawberries on the side, and a generous amount of chocolate syrup poured around the plate, was satisfyingly sweet, and had a cooling-down effect on a scorching August evening.

Dan Bolton, a jazz pianist, played throughout the evening, blending well with casual conversation, the chef’s Italian, and the sounds of knives and forks at work.

A garden in the back, designed by Mecaj—is immediately inviting. Lanterns of various colors and designs hang from the ceiling. Restaurant staff hopes to soon place tables and chairs in that area.

Dopo Teatro has another location near Times Square on West 44th Street between Seventh Avenue and the Avenue of the Americas. That location attracts more of a tourist crowd, and the Upper East Side opening was an effort to branch out, Mecaj said.

Restaurant prices range from $10 to $14 for salads, $14 to $19 for antipasti, $16 to $20 for pasta, $27 to $30 for fish, $22 to $32 for meat, $7 to $9 for vegetables, and $14 to $18 for pizza pies—another restaurant specialty.
Dopo Teatro East: 345 E. 62nd St., New York, NY 10065

NYPL brings back a moveable feast

By Caroline Birenbaum

It’s always fun to see how the palatial Gottesman Exhibition Hall at the New York Public Library is transformed by the nature of the material on view. This summer it has become a vast food hall, where the social history of the lunch hour is presented, using the resources of the library’s holdings, urban artifacts and cleverly incorporated bits of multimedia to document this quintessentially modern New York custom.

In theory, you needn’t rush to visit, since the show will be up until mid-February. On the other hand, why deny yourself this wonderful free lunch, especially if you want to take advantage of the many accompanying programs. Judging from the visitors when I was there, this exhibit appeals to everyone, from native New Yorkers to tourists, toddlers to centenarians.

The show is organized around four themes: “quick-lunch,” lunch at home, charitable lunch (school lunch programs) and the power lunches of the elite, both men and women. It includes sections on “iconic” foods, such as oysters—notably those purveyed in Thomas Downing’s famed 19th- century oyster cellars—pretzels, pizza, pastrami, deli, Chinese takeout, sushi, Jamaican beef patties and the venerable hot dog.

Don’t miss the video interview with Ed Beller, a fabricator of restaurant equipment, who serendipitously created the first stainless-steel cookers for hot dog carts.

The centerpiece of the exhibit, in terms of inventiveness, nostalgia, and interactivity, is a recreation of an automat, with elegant Art Deco signage, compartment doors you can raise (though no food awaits within), a gorgeous coffee spigot you can handle (alas, that wonderful chicory-coffee aroma is not included) and behind-the-scenes views of the equipment and company customer service manuals. Clips of movie scenes set in automats play on a screen in this section, and recipe cards for four Horn & Hardart favorites (pumpkin pie, baked beans) are available as souvenirs.

Another tactile display is a section of a soda fountain. It was a thrill to press the dispensers, even if thick chocolate syrup didn’t pour out.

The show concludes with a delightful projection of photos of people eating lunch around New York today and an invitation to participate in the Library’s collaborative menu transcription project, which will result in the ability to digitally search the immense menu collection on a dish-by-dish basis.

Can’t wait for a quick lunch? There are two ’wichcraft cafés in the library; restaurants and kiosks in Bryant Park behind the library; and a food truck located on Bryant Park Plaza, 40th Street and Fifth Avenue, weekdays through Labor Day from 11 a.m.-3 p.m.

Lunch Hour NYC
Through Feb. 17, 2013. New York Public Library Stephen A. Schwartzman Building, Fifth Avenue at 42nd Street, www.nypl.org. Join the menu transcription project: menus@nypl.org.

Movie watchers will remember Stand By Me, which, set in the ’50s, had an infamous scene of a town pie-eating contest (blueberry, natch) gone horribly wrong. At that point, the practice was a well-established trope, shorthand for mom and baseball and small-town values, which allowed it to be subverted to explosive (sorry) effect in the movie.

Of course there’s the Nathan’s hot dog eating contest, 97 years strong (well, sort of—more on that in a moment) and the premier competition in the MLE season. While it now attracts the all-stars of the competitive eating circuit, names even non-eaters may know like Joey Chestnut, Sonya “The Black Widow” Thomas and that wildcard Takeru Kobayashi, it was once a homely little event open to all comers—like if the All-Star game had started out on your local Little League diamond.

Though the official Nathan’s story says their contest started in 1916, held between four Irish immigrants on the Fourth of July to settle an argument over which was the most patriotic, that’s all a little too convenient. Hot dogs were the most patriotic food they could find? That works out well for Nathan’s, the biggest purveyors of the tubular treat around. Really, the contest began in 1972 and was won by a Brooklyn college student, whose prize was a certificate for more hot dogs.

These days the Nathan’s contest is still going strong, but for a more down-home summertime competition, there are a number of eating contests in and around the city that lean more county fair than corporate blowout.

This weekend, July 7-8, Cook Out NYC is taking over Governors Island for a second year of grilling, beers and kimchi—an all-American party to follow the Fourth in style. Kimchi? Damn right—this is New York, after all. As part of the event’s Kimchipalooza, which will offer the spicy pickle all weekend long in tacos and other dishes, Kheedim Oh, owner of Mama O’s Premium Kimchi, convinced the event’s organizers to hold a eating contest featuring his super-spicy variety, which uses the notorious ghost pepper in its chili paste base. Last year, the winner ate 12 jars of the stuff—think you can do more? Email orders@kimchirules.com to enter the contest. Otherwise, just show up this weekend (get tickets at cookoutnyc.com) to watch others suffer.

Looking for something a little less incendiary? Try Astor Bake Shop’s (12-23 Astoria Blvd., Astoria, astor-bakeshop.com) pie-eating contest to celebrate its first anniversary. Owner George McKirdy opened the Queens bakery after years as a pastry chef in Manhattan, working at such haute restaurants as Nobu, Café Boulud and Tribeca Grill. Now, his shop sells one of the neighborhood’s best burgers and has a small-town feel that belies its technically impeccable sweets.

On Sunday, July 15 at 3 p.m., they will provide five male contestants, five women and five “juniors” with a pie to be eaten in the traditional, hands-behind-the-back fashion as quickly as possible. According to the rules, in the event of a tie, the contestant with the “biggest pie smile” will be declared the winner. Grab yourself a mirror and get to practicing, then show up dressed to impress in your best red, white and blue.

And if you really want to go back to basics, the Saratoga County Fair (July 17-22, saratogacountyfair.org) will be holding both a pie- and a donut-eating contest during its five-day extravaganza. One of the oldest county fairs in the country, the contests will be bookended by 4-H exhibitions and tractor pulls unlike anything to be found in these five boroughs. Sure, it’s a long train ride, but it’s worlds away from the Nathan’s contest—just as the Founding Fathers would have wanted.

Summer has officially begun and, just in time, we have a renovated playground open for children who aren’t stuck in a hot classroom, an Asian kitchen featuring healthy food so we don’t balloon out during swimsuit season and a lovely French café with plenty of iced coffee options. As usual, if you see any new retailers or spot changes to a long-time establishment, please email me at tre@downtownny.com and I’ll check it out.

Yushi Asian Kitchen
100 Maiden Lane, betw. Gold & Pearl Sts., 212-742-2150, www.yushi.com
Yushi Executive Chef Danny Lachs took a trip to Thailand when he needed inspiration for his pad thai. It’s this passion and attention to detail that’s making Yushi a popular new dining destination in Lower Manhattan. The company operates one other branch in Midtown, which is grab-and-go, but for the new location, Lachs said he and owner Luke Fryer wanted to expand to include a build-your-own-meal bar. Customers can still get pre-packaged food made fresh daily, but they can choose from the bar, which includes protein options such as tofu, chicken, beef or pork, a base of rice or bok choy salad and vegetable options to complete the bowl. Choose a sauce such as orange-sesame vinaigrette to top it all off.

“People can come in three days a week and get a totally different experience,” Lachs said.

The kitchen doesn’t stop at Thai influences—it also pulls in Chinese, Japanese and Vietnamese flavors. Customers can order sushi, potstickers and, coming soon, several kinds of bahn mi sandwiches. The restaurant is what Lachs calls “fast-casual,” and though some establishments of this kind often serve foods high in fat and calories, Yushi features veggie-based, low-cal options for the health-minded.
But one of the most important aspects of the restaurant for Lachs is the way the food is prepared. “To me, what is crucial is the open kitchen. When chefs are behind closed doors, they can’t interact with the customer.”

Café French Gourmand
9 Maiden Lane, betw. Broadway & Nassau St., 646-756-4911
This quaint establishment features the best aspects of a French café much closer to home. The menu offers breakfast and lunch items with enough variety to please most everyone in the office. Hot sandwiches on ciabatta include a piadine of tomato, mozzarella and prosciutto and the classic croque monsieur. Cold sandwiches on offer include a French variety of roast beef, tomato and salad dijonnaise. The salad bar includes fennel, brie, goat cheese, chicken and radishes. Several soups are homemade every day.

Breakfast, my favorite meal of the day, includes one of my favorite meals, the ham and cheese croissant. They also offer bagels, oatmeal, muffins and flavored croissants. Top your breakfast off with a specialty coffee such as an iced macchiato.

Pearl Street Playground
Pearl Street betw. Fulton & Beekman Sts.
Throughout the winter, I watched renovations continue on this playground and wondered when it might reopen. The other week, I stopped by and discovered the playground was packed with children. The renovated space features new play equipment, a water fountain, spray shower and a safety fence. The playground is within sight of the South Street Seaport and nearby piers. Children could even do a playground crawl, stopping first at Imagination Playground on Burling Slip and continuing on to Pearl Street.

Daphne Oz and the cast of The Chew.

Daphne Oz, co-host of The Chew, on healthy eating and her father’s influence

By Angela Barbuti

It’s before 10 a.m. and Daphne Oz has already eaten a lamb chop and sipped a mai tai. As one of the hosts on ABC’s The Chew, she spends weekdays in the kitchen, cooking with her co-hosts and contributing her healthy living advice to the new daytime show.

At just 26, Oz, the youngest co-host, describes herself as the show’s “practical tipster.” She joins co-hosts Mario Batali, Michael Symon, Clinton Kelly and Carla Hall to create a palpable chemistry on the set. Oz says she works in a “really free flowing environment where hosts are encouraged to enjoy each other.” Her goal as part of this team of foodies is to be the spokesperson for all of the home cooks who are watching.

“It’s an empowering feeling to be able to cook a meal for yourself and your family,” she said.
With Dr. Mehmet Oz, cardiothoracic surgeon and host of The Dr. Oz Show, as her father, she once considered a life in medicine. However, she said, “To devote your life to that kind of work, you really need to be in the hospital and put in the hours.” She decided that she would not be able to pursue a medical career, raise a family and do both well.
Her father is extremely supportive of her choice. “Every parent wants their child to be happy and fulfilled every day they go to work,” she said.

One of the motivating forces enabling her to wake up at 5:30 each morning is a passion for engaging the younger generation. Having tried “every fad diet under the sun,” Oz knew it was time to make a commitment to healthy eating as a senior in high school.

“People find it fascinating that I could have grown up in the family that I did and still struggled with my weight,” she admitted.

As a junior at Princeton University, she penned The Dorm Room Diet. Published in 2006, it is replete with suggestions for college students on having a healthy and fun relationship with food in their new environment living away from home.
Now Oz makes her “home away from home” on The Chew’s set at ABC Studios on the Upper West Side. In the morning, after she wraps up filming for the show’s 1 p.m. airtime, the fitness enthusiast runs to Soul Cycle and Pure Yoga. After a workout and some grocery shopping, Oz is back at her Manhattan apartment, preparing meals with her husband, John. Although he works in finance, he appreciates trying out the new recipes his wife has found in Bon Appetit magazine.

For fresh produce, the couple shops at the local Garden of Eden and Whole Foods Market. Now that summer is here, she can be found picking fresh fruits and vegetables at farmers’ markets throughout the city.
“I literally buy dinner every day on my walk home from work,” she said.

Although her diet is mostly plant-based, she does eat the occasional high-quality meat product. Morally opposed to the way in which animals are treated industrially, she sums up her carnivorous philosophy as “meat for treats.” “For me, it’s about never feeling deprived, especially when I’m surrounded by such wonderful chefs. I want to be able to enjoy their beautiful creations.”

When it’s time for a snack, the epicurean enjoys munching on flatbread crisps dipped in a bean mash. She credits her ethnicity as the reason she favors Mediterranean food. Her father’s family is Turkish, while her mother’s family is Italian, Irish and Swedish.

“I grew up eating a ton of fish. I have memories of going on vacation with my family and catching whole fish and coming home and cooking them,” she said. A dinner menu at her home may consist of Asian-inspired salmon with a soy sauce, maple syrup and sesame oil glaze or branzino stuffed with rosemary, garlic and lemon.

When asked about her plans for the future, Oz responds without hesitation that she is content to keep her current gig as long as possible. Who can blame her? “I’m being paid to play with friends and eat the most delicious food in the world. Every day I pinch myself that this is my job.”

Watch Oz on The Chew weekdays at 1 p.m. on ABC or visit her website at www.daphneoz.com.

Daphne Oz.

It’s a well-worn trope that when the going gets hot, the hot eat spicy foods. It’s well-worn, sure, but if you’re like 98 percent of the Western world, it’s also totally unthinkable. Spicy foods are hot, right? And when you yourself are hot (a totally flawed linguistic leap of logic—we’ll get to that), the best way to counteract it is with cold things, isn’t it?

Well, yes and no. The primary problem is with that word, “hot.” Spicy foods aren’t actually warmer than others, they simply make you sweat, for a complex set of chemical reasons that have to do with pain receptors and neural trickery.
In the Western cultural repertory of foods, there is no indigenous source of serious spice, so we never evolved a language for dealing with it. The first time someone brought Christopher Columbus a jalapeño, he popped it whole, started sweating like a fiend and determined that witches had made him “hot,” and it stuck.* (*This scenario may not be historically accurate.)

Chile peppers have helped people in warmer climes survive summers since air conditioning was a palm frond fan and ice in your drink was a dream. Now that global warming is evening the score and energy costs have us thinking twice about letting the climate control run nonstop for the next three months, it’s a good time to revisit their techniques and, as a wise man once said, give spice a chance.

Thai food may be the second most bastardized food in this city, trailing only behind Chinese in white-guy-ification. Think of all the ketchupy Pad Thai you’ve been suckered into; the sickly sweet Tom Kha Gai that tastes more of Hawaiian Tropic than tropical climes. Thankfully Thai, like Chinese, is experiencing a revival that is placing an emphasis on regional differences—and like Chinese, you finally no longer have to go out to Queens to find chefs doing their thing.

At Zabb Elee (75 2nd Ave., betw. 4th & 5th Sts., zabbelee.com), the chefs specialize in the notoriously chile-laden cuisine of Isaan, the northeastern region of the country. Some dishes, like Som Tum Thai, green papaya salad, are recognizable in name, but their execution is miles beyond that of your corner takeout. Others, like Gang Som, a sour, coconut milk-less curry, and Khai Jiaw Kratiem Dong, omelet with pickled garlic, are full of flavors you’ve never experienced.

When you order, you will be asked about your spice level preference—be prepared to be assertive when asking for full strength, as every meal there sees at least one bro trying to impress his pals who ends up gasping for water and white rice. It’s a balanced heat, though; the kind that was designed to get you sweating happily through the summer night.
Miracle of miracles, there is now a surfeit of seriously spicy Sichuan restaurants in New York City. One of the best, and the most reliably spice-happy, is Szechuan Gourmet (21 W. 39th St., betw. 5th & 6th Aves., szechuan-gourmet.com).

Sichuan food uses fierce dried chiles and Sichuan peppercorn, which will numb you faster than a dentist’s novocaine, to achieve ma la, the signature spicy and numbing taste. The combination of the two means you’re never suffering for the sake of it.

For a real summertime treat, get the double whammy of heat and cool with cold dishes like ox tongue and tripe doused in ma la-heavy chile oil, ground peanuts and cilantro, and the spicy cucumber salad, which is like taking a Katz’s deli half-sour and lighting it on fire in your mouth. You’ll leave flushed and tingling, with a buzzing mouth that makes even drinking water a sensory delight.

Not enough? Take the phaal challenge at Brick Lane Curry House (235 E. 53rd St., betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves., or 308 E. 6th St., betw. 1st & 2nd Aves., bricklanecurryhouse.com). A true bro dare for the guys at Zabb Elee who managed to make it through and want their photos in a Hall (sorry, P’hall) of Fame. By all reports a British invention, the so-called “spiciest curry on earth” uses 10 or more ground chiles per serving.

Finish it, and you get a certificate of honor and a free beer, while your companions cool off the old-fashioned way, with top-notch curries like Nilgiri Korma, a brightly green South Indian specialty. At least the beer is a guaranteed cooler.