By Magdalena Burnham

Lifetime’s series The Client List was just renewed for a second season and the popularity of the show, which follows Riley Parks (Jennifer Love Hewitt) as she starts work at a massage parlor where sexual favors are being offered, got me thinking about my favorite hookers from TV history. These are the on-screen prostitutes that have held my interest the most over the years.

Saffron from Firefly (Christina Hendricks)

Sure, Inara was a bigger character, but when it comes to the “Companions” in the Firefly universe, my heart belongs to Saffron. The episodes where we got to see Saffron seduce and manipulate her way around space were the most entertaining of the series and the show gets major props for introducing the world to Christina Hendricks.

Darla from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Julie Benz)

In the 16^th century, Darla was a true entrepreneur who managed to get rich off her prostitution. Sure, she also got syphilis, but then she turned into a vampire and had eternal youth and health. Darla 2, World 0.

Hunter Montgomery from Queer as Folk (Harris Allan)

Occasionally Queer as Folk used Hunter as an excuse to reach new levels of preachiness, but overall he was a welcome addition to the cast because there’s truly no other character like him on television. Forced into gay prostitution at an early age, Hunter was HIV positive and emotionally scarred for life. Watching him discover his heterosexuality, learn to trust Michael and Ben and try to fit in at high school made for some great storylines. Best of all, he used his street smarts to bring down a corrupt chief of police. Impressive work, kid.

Andrew van de Kamp from Desperate Housewives (Shawn Pyfrom)

Andrew always had a troubled relationship with his mother Bree, but it reached its crisis point when he seduced her boyfriend and she responded by driving him out to the middle of the highway and abandoning him. The little scamp bounced back by resorting to prostitution before he eventually returned to his mother and continued being the sneakiest and snarkiest kid on Wysteria Lane.

Laurie from The West Wing (Lisa Edelstein)

I love to remember that the very first moments in The West Wing didn’t give us President Bartlett or any political elements, but instead focused on Rob Lowe’s character accidentally sleeping with a prostitute. That’s called putting your best foot forward. Even though Laurie was only in five episodes, her wit and charm made her one of the most memorable characters of the entire series. The fact that the incomparable Lisa Edelstein portrays her doesn’t hurt.

Nate Archibald from Gossip Girl (Chace Crawford)

Nate basically became a prostitute by accident and was completely against it once he finally figured out what was happening. He was being paid to sleep with a woman whom he was already happy to be with, but he just couldn’t look on the bright side of this circumstance. I admire that integrity.

This one was, but only to a point. Season 5 had its work cut out for itself after a finale that saw an impulsive marriage proposal from Don to secretary Megan (Jessica Paré, enjoying a major and deliciously well-acted career break) and Joan (Christina Hendricks) keep Roger’s (John Slattery) baby after an affair while her husband was in Vietnam. And yet despite plenty of forward movement, much of this season felt like a benchwarmer. We met a mysterious new copywriter, Michael Ginsberg (Ben Feldman), but have yet to learn more about him. We still no precious little about Stan Rizzo (Jay Ferguson). We learned of Ken Cosgrove’s (a nicely understated Aaron Staton) sprouting career as a fiction writer, but are left to wonder if his conflict with Pete Campbell (Vincent Kartheiser) will continue to grow after the latter passive-aggressively tried to put the kibosh on Ken’s creative outlet.  If seeds were planted, many will have to sprout in another season, not this one.

Major plots included emotional revelations for both Pete, who stayed with Trudy but stepped out with the wife of his commuting buddy, and Roger Sterling (John Slattery), who left his wife after finding LSD. These guys are sad sacks, and both actors dig deep into their emotional recesses – when they have the material. For a season that only includes thirteen episodes, I wish each chapter within had provided a glimpse of their ongoing ennui. Weiner and his staff instead threw these characters maybe three to four episodes each of specific focus, which is an episodic disservice to organic character development. For a show that raises the bar in terms of attention to detail, the overall story threads felt looser this season than they have in the past.

As ever, performances were on a par with few others this season. And there were some definite water cooler moments this season – Megan singing “Zou Bisou Bisou,” Joan’s personal sacrifice to become an SCDP partner, Peggy’s (Elisabeth Moss) simultaneous exit from the firm, and Lane Pryce’s (Jared Harris) suicide – some of which worked better than others. For instance, I’ll never forget the look on Peggy’s face as she stepped on the elevator, we hope to greener pastures (she’s the new Tess McGill, a surrogate for all those hard workers angling for an opportunity to advance). But Lane’s heavily telegraphed death never rose above the “well-meaning man caught in a financial tide pool” trope. His death may haunt Don, but it hasn’t resonated with me the way it should.

Which brings me to that most unhappy man of all, Don (no one does hypocritical indignance nor hangdog perturbation better than the inestimable Hamm). Some have criticized the amount of story time devoted to Megan, but I think it was all merited. She’s the most interesting aspect of Don’s current life, and she’s a fantastic character. Megan is a good actress but not an inspired one or an innately raw talent, and Paré delineates that line exquisitely well. Also, I particularly love how Peggy respected her every time we expected her to resent the new bride, a sly way of delineating her own continuingly growing confidence.

But I’m not sure what we’re supposed to make of Don’s marriage by the end of the season finale. After giving her a career boost, does he watch her infatuation? Disappointment? Estrangement? Love? Does he actually have plans to move beyond her? The season’s final question, to quote the King of Siam, ‘tis a bit of a puzzlement: “Are you alone?” The answer will always be yes, regardless of how many others are in the room with Don. He’s a solitary man at heart, but that doesn’t mean his marriage to Megan should end. If I tune in next season to find that Megan is on the way out, you can add this writer to the list of unhappy men.