Best TV: Soul Food
Roger Mooking’s new show Man Fire Food on the Cooking Channel has solved the soul-food riddle that has perplexed television’s new foodie culture. Mooking, a Canadian with an inviting grin, takes his culinary skill and infectious humor on the road, searching for new ways that assorted cooks use to express their individuality and different backgrounds.

The Cooking Channel had previously tried placing G. Garvin into this Masterpiece Kitchen-on-the-road slot via Roadtrip with G. Garvin, launching the former TV One cooking host to national prominence among the Cooking Channel’s roster of chefs (curiously light on American soul-food flavor). Garvin’s peripatetic duties missed the camaraderie of Patrick and Gina Neely of the Food Network. Garvin’s bluster was like beer-based sauce, a tad overbearing.

But Mooking finds a good balance of casual friendliness, observing his guests’ methods with genuine interest and demonstrating taste that testified to his own skills. Just bring back Mooking’s old habit of playing kitchen DJ once his meals have plated, and the Cooking Channel might have another hit.

Best Film School
The Bronx-based Ghetto Film School—an ideal introduction to the practicalities of filmmaking, film history and movie aesthetic—continues to move forward.
With film noteworthies like directors David O. Russell and Spike Jonze on its board, GFS has become one of the leading film schools in the country by steering clear of the snobbery and careerism that taint film education at the university and now festival-circuit level, where students are taught to bow down to the entrenched system of commercial and egghead formulas.

AT GFS, students are encouraged to follow the unbeatable educator’s dictum: Film What You Know. The GFS movies are about the students’ lives; their experiences translated through film communication methods. GFS puts young cineastes on the right path.

Best Indiana Jones movie
The recently issued Indiana Jones: The Complete Adventures on Blu-Ray comes at the right moment—with enough time having passed—that a reasonable assessment can be made of the entire series. Despite the impact that Raiders of the Lost Ark made in 1981, each sequel has surpassed it. The original now looks rather stodgy (even with the vivid Blu-Ray transfer) because Spielberg’s momentum improved—astonishingly—with each sequel.

Now it can told: Raiders is the least of the quartet, despite its early-’80s novelty, coming at the tail end of the ’70s American Renaissance, when filmmakers brought modernist revisionism to Hollywood genres. The widely disliked Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is in fact richer, though it lacks the gorgeous lighting by Douglas Slocombe of the first three films. Kingdom builds on Raiders’ ideas and complicates them. Arriving two decades later, it is the series’ true sequel—refined and elegant.

The other films stand alone: Temple of Doom is a rambunctious comedy with some of the greatest action directing (that roller-coaster ride through the mines) that one can ever see. And The Last Crusade is the series’ masterpiece. Harrison Ford’s Indy finds his best ally in his dad (Sean Connery) and his perfect foil (Adolf Hitler giving his autograph). The overture sequence detailing Indy’s boyhood (played by the late River Phoenix) is a perfect example of relay-race ingenuity as well as a condensed history of cinema kinetics. It’s in The Last Crusade that Spielberg comes to grips with imperialism and the politics and ethics behind the anthropological urge. Manifest colonialism meets its spiritual destiny.
Read more about this in my book The Resistance: Ten Years of Pop Culture That Shook the World.

Best Arts and Culture Guide
Culturadar.com
You love arts and culture, want to take advantage of the best deals and don’t have a ton of time. Sound familiar? Culturadar (pronounced “culture radar”) aggregates critics’ picks and event listings/reviews from publications including The New York Times, New York magazine, the New Yorker, the L and the Village Voice. It is a one-stop to explore what’s happening, share info, make plans and get discounts to institutions and events. A single click even retrieves all free events citywide, making it easy to experience arts and culture in NYC completely free of charge.

Best Big Movie Theater
Loews Lincoln Square
(1998 Broadway, amctheatres.com)
This Upper West Side multiplex bridges old and new, with Old Hollywood photos and theaters named after the screen palaces of yore as well as Manhattan’s best IMAX screen. This AMC theater boasts blockbusters and smaller art-house indies all at the same time. And its prime Broadway location, near the 1 train and across the street from Ollie’s? Now that’s a happy ending.

Best Burlesque
Slipper Room
167 Orchard St., betw. Allen & Essex Sts., slipperroom.com
Long the undisputed home for burlesque in New York—you can also sometimes catch comedy or a concert—the Slipper Room hosts the best performers in town, like Julie Atlas Muse, Dirty Martini and Billy the Blue Bunny. Now, it’s emerging with a facelift, with two floors, purple banquettes and improved sight lines for you to take in your tassels in style. It’s scheduled to be unveiled to the public in October.

Best Cast on Broadway
Grace
graceonbroadway.com
You get four powerhouse actors for the price of one ticket in Grace, Craig Wright’s seriocomic look at four lives colliding in Florida: Oscar-nominee Michael Shannon; his wife, Kate Arrington, a Chicago staple; film star Paul Rudd, returning to Broadway after 2006’s Three Days of Rain; and seven-time Emmy champ (a record for men) Ed Asner. With a show tackling themes as heavy and polarizing as religion, faith and destiny, you need a cast this strong to bolster the material.

Best Classical Music for Kids
The Little Orchestra Society
littleorchestra.org
The Little Orchestra Society takes you inside the music with spectacles of music and theater—beloved and new, classic and cutting edge. From the iconic rock musician and poet Patti Smith narrating her childhood favorite, “Tubby the Tuba,” to the indelible animation of Disney performed with our orchestra in “Disney Fantasia Live in Concert, to Victor Herbert’s holiday extravaganza “Babes in Toyland,” there is something for every member of your family. Also, young children can begin a lifelong love of music with the Lolli-Pops series, where colorful characters educate and entertain. Discover your inner musician!

Best Fall Show at a Museum
New York Historical Society’s WWII exhibit
170 Central Park West, nyhistory.org
Starting Oct. 5, New York Historical Society will house the exhibit WWII & NYC, which demonstrates the impact that the Great War had on the Big Apple. Aspects covered will include the mobilization of workers, shipbuilding, Civil Rights struggles and the ripple effect on the arts back home. The exhibit will also display more than 300 real artifacts, including documents pertaining to the Japanese surrender.

Best Indie Movie Theater
Elinor Bunim Monroe Film
Center at Lincoln Center
165 W. 65th St., filmlinc.com
The Film Society of Lincoln Center’s new state-of-the-art cinema just celebrated its first birthday, but it has already made a name for itself as a home for mature movies and serious watchers. The venue has a 150-seat and a 90-seat theater, ensuring intimate viewing experiences of small features and documentaries. EBM also plays host to special lectures, panels and educational programs.

Best Jazz Bar
Fat Cat
75 Christopher St., fatcatmusic.org
Tucked just below ground in the Village, Fat Cat is a massive, grungy live jazz lounge, bar and game hall with cheap drinks and game tables for miles. Be forewarned: On most nights, it’s near impossible to find a place to sit, let alone the pieces to the Scrabble sets.

Best Jukebox Selection
Manitoba’s
99 Avenue B, manitobas.com
While it’s true there are now internet jukeboxes that allow you to find almost any song ever produced—for extra money, of course—that’s still no substitute for a good jukebox of the old-fashioned kind. So leave it to “Handsome Dick” Manitoba, formerly of The Dictators and now owner of this great Ave. B dive, and his staff to select a range of picks—from obscure ’60s garage à la Nuggets to proto-punk and punk classics to newer indie gems—that can satisfy rock nerds of all stripes.

Best Karaoke
Sing Sing
various locations, karaokesingson.com
It’s still hard to beat this old Avenue A (with another location now on St. Mark’s) favorite, with its small rooms and eclectic song collection, where even the most jaded hipster can find something to belt out to his group of friends without feeling uncool. The small rooms may be spartan, but they are private and encourage disinhibition (necessary when you need to do a David Johansen rendition) as only an East Village dive can. Book in advance on a weekend.

Best Live Music Venue
Rockwood Music Hall
196 Allen St. near E. Houston,
rockwoodmusichall.com
This intimate and hip LES space has two stages, both of which allow you to get up close to your favorite performers. With cheap admission and multiple bands (virtually every hour on the hour), it’s a great venue to discover a new act without dropping a lot of cash; tickets are typically around $5. Plenty of folky singer-songwriter acts along with a solid mix representing other genres including indie, alt-country and even bebop.

Best New Bookstore
192 Books
190 10th Ave., 192books.com
192 Books is a general-interest bookstore located at Tenth Avenue and 21st Street, which hosts regular readings, exhibitions and a vast selection of contemporary literature. The clean, bright Chelsea bookstore also boasts rare and out-of-print texts.

Best New Art Gallery
Recession Art at CultureFix
9 Clinton St. near E. Houston
culturefixny.com
CultureFix gallery on the Lower East Side has partnered with Recession Art to create a gallery featuring exhibitions specifically by emerging artists. RAC features truly unique exhibitions, regular events and performances, and an affordable storefront.

Best New York Art Fair
The Affordable Art Fair
affordableartfair.us
The Affordable Art Fair, which takes place in April on West 34th Street, lives up to its name. It sees 10,000 visitors every year, according to its website, and provides a wide variety of unique art for affordable prices. The fair also offers art classes and events for visitors of all ages.

Best NYC Film Festival
Big Apple Film Festival
bigapplefilmfestival.com
Many of the “indie” film festivals have gradually shape-shifted into showcases for artsy Hollywood projects or weeklong marketing sprees for Miramax. But Big Apple Film Festival, which this year runs Nov. 14-19 at Tribeca Cinema, remains dedicated to self-financed projects produced outside the mainstream. Now in its ninth year, it serves especially as an outlet for small films that take place in the five boroughs or are made by New Yorkers.

Best Off-Off Broadway Show
Red Dog Howls
nytw.org
Alexander Dinelaris’ new show marks the return of acclaimed Manhattan actress Kathleen Chalfant (Angels in America, Wit) to New York Theatre Workshop. She plays, Rose, a mysterious Armenian woman who leads Michael (Alfredo Narciso, star of The Ugly One and one of New York’s greatest talents) to unearth a buried family history. Florencia Lozano (Last Easter) also stars. Given NYTW’s recent history—their homegrown children Once and Peter and the Starcatcher swept this year’s Tonys—Howls may just have plenty to sing about.

Best Outside-the-Box Classical Music
American Symphony Orchestra
americansymphony.org
Whether they’re telling you the story behind your favorite piece of classical music or performing a rarity that you’ve never enjoyed before, the American Symphony Orchestra is never just giving you the same old orchestra concert. The ASO is celebrating its 50th anniversary this season with concerts unlike any other. At Symphony Space, Music Director Leon Botstein will explain a series of works with a Mahler connection. And the concerts-on-a-theme at Carnegie Hall will explore everything from vampires to John Cage to whipped cream. Best of all, most seats are just $25 or $35.

Best Performance Venue
ABC No Rio
156 Rivington St., betw. Clinton & Suffolk Sts., abcnorio.org
When ABC No Rio was redesigned in 2007 with help from the city, there were some that feared this former Lower East Side squat would drop its dedication to promoting radically hip collaborative arts and readings. But it didn’t. So whether it’s hosting a noise-punk outfit or an avant-garde poetry reading, the space is now just about the last bastion of old-school bohemia.

Best Place for Comedy
(That’s Not Upright Citizens Brigade)
The Pit
123 E. 24th St. near Park Avenue, 212-563-7488
According to comics fed up with the stale stand-up circuit, this is the venue to check out. From such acts as the deadpan Stone Brothers—two twins who look like buttoned-up lawyers and finish each other’s stories and talk over each other to Shakespeare send-up Jester’s Dead—this is the place to experience some new laughs.

Best Place to Write a Novel
Paragraph NY
35 W. 14th St., paragraphny.com
Paragraph NY, open 24/7, 365 days a year, was created “by writers for writers,” according to the organization’s website. Located near Union Square—but removed from the hustle and bustle—the quiet, eclectic and comfortable writing space “away from the hurry and obligation of urban life” is a member organization that takes applications from those wishing to access the space. Paragraph NY has everything from wifi to cozy couches and coffee makers for members.

Best Reading Series
KGB
85 E. Fourth St. near Second Avenue,
kgbbar.com
This cozy Soviet-themed bar tucked away in the East Village has been the home to Monday-night poetry readings for over a decade. The renowned series, which features free evening readings by major contemporary poets throughout the fall and spring, is joined by readings of other genres most nights of the week. Get there early to snag a seat for the popular readings.

Best Tabletop Sport at a Bar
Ace Bar
531 E. Fifth St. near Avenue A,
acebar.com
While not quite a dive or yuppie bar, you can definitely peg this watering hole as a great place to play a host of tabletop games. Two cool pinball machines, pool tables, darts and, best of all, skeet ball! Not to mention a great selection of tap beers. If you get bored playing pinball or skeet ball, you can always lose some time examining their nonpareil vintage lunch-box collection or a game of Big Buck Hunter.

Best Under-the-Radar Museum
NY Transit Museum
130 Livingston St. at Boerum Place,
Brooklyn, mta.info/mta/museum
Sure, you could catch a Kandinsky or de Kooning at your pick of local museums. But where else can you find out how New York’s rail system is powered? NYTM, housed in a historic Brooklyn Heights subway station, is the largest museum in the United States devoted to urban public transportation history. Visitors can learn about the history of the subway system as well as enjoy a look at New York City’s trolleys and buses. The museum also includes an after-school program for students on the autism spectrum.

Best Used Bookstore
The Strand
multiple locations, strandbooks.com
The Strand bookstore near Union Square is well-known among local and far-reaching offbeat literature-lovers for its quaintness, book selection, decent prices and eager employees. The Strand is not for the faint of heart, though—at peak hours it’s all about survival of the fittest on the store’s crowded main floor. While the second floor is spacious and labyrinthine, the basement (nonfiction section) could use a little work.

On July 16, I decided to go to an exhibition at the Museum of the City of New York, so I went online to get additional information. One particularly compelling detail emerged: the exhibition had closed July 15.

I missed it.

It’s a familiar feeling and extends way beyond museum exhibits. Last year and the year(s) before, there were the plays (Good People, with Estelle Parsons, among others), movies (Winter’s Bone) and concerts (Barbara Carroll, any night she performs and I’m not there). Yes, living in New York City means being right in the center of it all. Swell. But living here also means missing more than most Americans are ever even offered.

So many of us walk around with a list, sometimes in our minds and sometimes on our schedules, of things we hope to catch before they leave. I stopped my Time Out New York subscription after becoming too good at chronicling, at any given moment, what gallery opening was happening without me. Keeping track of club dates and Restaurant Weeks and music festivals, even when out of town, eventually made me wonder about my own mental health.

Other cities are different. There are places where you catch a touring Broadway show and a few fine other performances, throw in a night at the opera or symphony, see the occasional flick…and you’re done for the calendar year. The local performance center shutters in the summer. You’re keeping up—at least enough to feel equipped for dinner-party chatter.

Our town is different. Right now we’re heading into the dog days of August, right? But not really—not here. There’s that Monet garden recreation at the Bronx Botanical Gardens through Oct. 21. The Jewish Museum, at 92nd and Fifth Avenue, has an unusual exhibit on the artist Edouard Vuillard, one of my favorites. At least I think he’s one of my favorites, but that hypothesis needs to be tested—before time runs out on Sept. 23. Oh, the plays. Don’t I need to see Tribes, that interesting off-Broadway one in the Village? And what about that woman from England on Broadway, the one pretending to be Judy Garland?

There are ways to play this game successfully. The experts advise going right after the opening crowds leave the exhibit/play/whatever. Don’t wait. That’s easier said than done, though, especially when there are jobs to do and lives to live and money worries. Some people even choose buying groceries over theater tickets.

The most precious commodity remains time. It gets eaten up. At summer’s start, I wrote in my Google calendar an exact date for that trip to the Museum of the City of New York. The day came and I didn’t go.

So I never saw The Greatest Grid: The Master Plan of Manhattan, 1811-2011, which was a smart look at longterm planning in the city. At least that’s what the New York Times said on its front page. And what my mom said after she went and issued a report. Mom won this round.

Sometimes, though, I score. My pal Liz and I went two weeks ago to the Morgan Library, which leaves me a bit cold when I see the books locked up there like they’ve done something wrong. But the Winston Churchill exhibit, especially the audio of his fantastic speeches, made it all worthwhile. What an election-year treat, seeing a political leader who rallied people in common cause instead of talking down to them and dividing them up into special interests.

So much to see and do. That’s one of the things that drew me to the city. Then, amidst all the rushing from the reading at Barnes & Noble to the Film Forum retrospective, I realized the ultimate irony: My favorite thing to do here is simply to walk down a street.
There’s a lesson there. But I might miss it, hurrying to get to the next big thing.

Christopher Moore is a writer living in Manhattan. His email address is ccmnj@aol.com and he’s on Twitter @cmoorenyc.

The company of the forthcoming revival of A Streetcar Named Desire showed up at B. Smith’s in midtown last night to eat, drink and discuss their new revival of the Tennessee Williams masterpiece. Attendees included director Emily Mann as well as Blair Underwood, making his Broadway debut as Stanley, in addition to Nicole Ari Parker (Blanche), Daphne Rubin-Vega (Stella), and Wood Harris (Mitch).

What’s notable, of course, about this cast, is that it includes actors of color in traditionally white roles. (Show executive producers Stephen Byrd and Alia Jones brought a similarly interracial look to Broadway with their revival of another Williams’ classic, Cat on A Hot Tin Roof).

“It just seemed like an obvious way to do the play,” Mann said of the race-specific casting. Mann herself is quote familiar with the William’s oeuvre; she was the first woman to ever direct The Glass Menagerie, a play she has gone on to direct again, as well as productions of Cat and Suddenly, Last Summer. “It speaks to the meaning of New Orleans, that gumbo of ethnicity.” Indeed, the DuBois sisters played by Parker and Rubin-Vega will be descended from French Huguenots.

“Stella is tough,” Rubin-Vega said of her put-upon character. “I identified with her sense of overwhelm!” she joked, later adding that “we both want to control situations, we want peace in the valley.”

Mann explained that Williams had always wanted to have an African-American cast bring his Pulitzer Prize-winner to life, but a 1955 attempt was aborted due to a conflicting production of Sweet Bird of Youth.

“The language of the play – and themes of enduring, of surviving life – lends itself to our cast,” Parker said. “It doesn’t disturb the purity of Tennessee William’s writing.” Parker went on to say that having African-American performers take on traditionally white roles shouldn’t be such a big deal. “Why not? White [actors] have been playing yellow for years!”

Underwood echoed Parker’s sentiment. “This play is beautiful poetry,” he said. “It’s about passion, it’s about desire. That’s why it’s a classic. And it is a true ensemble.”

“We’re planning to connect with the audience, like a band,” Harris said of that ensemble element. “Everyone plays an instrument.” (On that note, jazz musician Terence Blanchard will provide an original musical score for this revival.)

“Like Wood says,” Underwood said, “we’re playing a tune.”

Audiences can hear that tune when previews for the show begin on at the Broadhurst Theatre on April 3.

More information can be found at http://streetcaronbroadway.com/

Laugh as you may, I wholly believe and have accepted into my little black heart that the electro rock band Miike Snow is conspiring my downfall in life. For the sake of sanity (or lack thereof) I shall heretofore recognize Miike Snow as one individual, rather than the trio of producing team Christian Karlsson and Pontus Winnberg and American Andrew Wyatt it is actually made up of. For our purposes these individuals no longer exist, they simply blur the lines of the still-life they form, like a toddlers’ watercolor.

It all started in the not so distant past, when the song “Animal,” was on every TV show, movie trailer, commercial, radio station, ringtone, on and on and on. That catchy refrain exclaimed to all that “there was a time when my world was filled with darkness…darkness, darkness.” How true a statement. Ironic, I couldn’t recognize it, even as I looped it daily on my iPod. You see, I was in love. Or rather, lust. Or rather, infatuation verging on a neurotic breakdown. I obsessed over every text and conversation. Waited for my chance to see her next. Urged incessantly that she see me sooner. I took her to a little Moroccan joint in the East Village called Kassimir. Over the candlelit table we talked about music, and I thought about sex. We had been dating for four whole days. COUNT ‘EM! One. Two. Three. Four. Clearly we were meant to spend the rest of our lives together, so when she happened to mention that Miike Snow would be playing Terminal 5 two nights from then, I thought it would be entirely acceptable for me to buy two tickets for the both of us. Just a nice thing to do. Not weird. Or creepy. Or, “this guy needs to cool it, he’s starting to freak me out.”

NICE.

So I did. When I told her, she sounded a bit uneasy. Just overwhelmed with joy, I figured.

Two nights later we stood in front of a stage while white men in white masks sang about how “a horse is not a home” (no shit) and how some chick named Silvia did him dirty. But Silvia wasn’t with me. Silvia was with him. Sara was with me. But wait… Where had she gone? I looked around. She had just been next to me. Her hand in mine. Her red lips, on the other side of my air, begging to be broken away and locked in.

“I change shapes just to hide in this place, but I’m still, I’m still an animal.” There she was. Five feet in front of me. Her hands outstretched to her sides, fingers flexed, as if she was being abducted by some invisible force. But there was only Snow. That looming bastardly creature. She was entranced. Encompassed. Engirthed. Baby, I sing the body electric! And your falling for some boys who sing to songs electric? I felt her slipping out of my grasp. Pulled in by the gravitational force of Snow.

I never saw Sara after that concert. I’m convinced that Miike Snow looked out into the audience, saw me standing with that lovely creature and thought, “I’m going to ruin Noah Wunsch.” How did he know my name? Snow has powers of the dark craft. Sara leaving me had nothing to do with the fact that I was moving way too fast, way too soon, and may have bought her a kitten and dressed it up in the same clothes I was wearing when I gave it to her. No. Nothing to do with any of that. I had been marked. Marked with the sign of Snow.

Fast forward to the present, when I received an e-mail last week asking if I wanted to interview my nemesis. My palms started sweating immediately. Was Miike taunting me? Challenging me to step into his arena, and duel him with nothing more than a quick tongue and a tiny tape recorder? Did he want to show me pictures of himself lying bareback with Sara. “These are our children, that’s little Noah, that’s little Matthew, and that’s little Wunsch. We wanted to pay homage to the man who brought us together.” SNOW!

I accepted the challenge and awaited date and time. His people sent me an e-mail asking if 4:15 Tuesday, March 20th would work. I checked my calendar. It directly conflicted with my therapist appointment. Ahhh, very keen Snow, trying to weaken my emotional faculties. Leave me vulnerable and exposed so you can snick and snack at the heart on my sleeve. “No, I’m sorry, I have an appointment I’m unable to cancel at that time, is it possible we could do any earlier?” You mess with the bull, you get the horns. A response came a minute later, simply stating that no, it would not be possible to do it earlier. That is the only time offered.

And the bull is dehorned.

I accepted this slap in the face gracefully, rescheduling with the good doctor for Wednesday. I thought of the perks that a late afternoon interview offered. I had time to go to the gym and buff up a bit. I could go to my dojo and talk to my shogun about the proper way to disembowel an ancient Samurai spirit. Fuck therapy. I didn’t need to talk this out, I needed to fight it out. But goddamnit, in my moment of adrenaline rushed excitement I forgot that Snow could read my mind. As I backtracked through the rolodex of super deadly martial arts I had trained in, he was listening in on my every thought and move.

“So sorry, 4:15 is no longer possible for Miike. Could you possibly come at 11 AM?” I read the e-mail over and over again. He was toying with me. In this cancellation my fury doubled and I felt a horrible need to see my therapist, but oh wait, I couldn’t because I had to reschedule him. Maybe I could go visit my shogun and spiritual master? NOPE! DOJO OPENS AT NOON. I would have to face the creature alone…

Tuesday morning my alarm went off. I shot out of bed, covered in a cold sweat.

Snow.

I took a stoic shower. For some reason the song “Animal,” was stuck in my head, though I hadn’t listened to it since that doomed night at Terminal 5. “Animal,” transitioned into “Silvia,” into “Paddling Out,” into… Wait. “Paddling Out,” is on his new CD Happy To You, which I hadn’t even listened to. How did I have this song stuck in my-SNOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!

I tried on seven different t-shirts. I had to look the perfect ratio of cool to schlubby. Just enough to let him know I didn’t care, but also showed that I was untouchable. Like Patrick Swayze in Tiger Warsaw, his greatest performance ever. I prepped myself for the long trek down to Tribeca. I was on his turf. Out of my element. Ready for battle.

“I’m sorry we don’t have you down for an interview at all today,” I was on the phone with some of Miike’s people.

“How is that possible? I confirmed multiple times.”

“I’m sorry. Could you possibly interview the band before their show tonight?” Why? So he could steal another one of my future wives? SARA WASN’T ENOUGH FOR HIM?!

“I have another engagement this evening. Could they possibly meet this afternoon?”

There was a pause on the other end of the line. The woman was probably whispering to Miike, who was in tears from laughter: Oh my god, he actually showed up? HA! THAT’S HYSTERICAL. Or maybe I was speaking to the devil himself. He was simply feigning the voice of British representation.

“Miike?” I whispered.

“What was that?” The British woman asked.

“Nothing.”

“Unfortunately the band has meetings all day. Could they possibly call you from the limo at 3:30?” Limo. Wow. Nice name drop Sally. I get it, I’m a lowly writer, Miike is a huge rock star that gets to ride around in limos. You don’t scare me.

“Sure. 3:30 will do just fine.” I wandered the city. They had stolen my girl. They had stolen my therapist. They had stolen my shogun. What did I have left? I ran to the Westside Highway and looked out over the river. “WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!” I screamed out to the water. It didn’t respond.

I did push ups and sit ups. Ran the boardwalk listening to “Eye of the Tiger.” I killed a goat and sacrificed his entrails to the Gods, “Keep me safe at 3:30 oh holy ones. To you I profess!”

3:30 rolled around. I waited at my desk. Waited for the vibrations of an incoming call. 3:35 passed without a titter. Then 3:45. 3:55. At 4 o’clock I realized what had happened. I had fallen into his trap. There I was in the midst of a physical, emotional and spiritual breakdown. Miike Snow had wanted this all along. He was the lion, and I was simply his ball of yarn. I curled up in fetal position on my floor, staring at the yellow wallpaper. Words came to my lips. They pressed and parted, until I was audibly mumbling out a universal tune.

There was a time when my world was filled with darkness… darkness, darkness.

Directed by Obie Award Winner Orlando Pabotoy, That Beautiful Laugh explores the world of laughter. Three clowns, played by Alan Tudyk, Carlton Ward and Julia Ogilvie are brought on stage to teach a tiny red egg about the joys of the world through short vignettes that roil belly-thumping laughs from the audience and cast alike. The cast fully embraces the practices of clowning to its fullest, with Tudyk playing the ring-leader of the group, Ward playing a somewhat demented caricature and Ogilvie taking the role of the the outgoing cutesie one. Together, they take the egg through the gritty city, with a puppet show that harks back to the dirty world of “Avenue Q.” They perform strange tricks to impress the egg (you’ll be shocked what Ward can do with a clothes hanger). and they teach the bird about love and sharing. It seemed appropriate that the show debuted last weekend, given the New York City half marathon was Sunday. The physical energy exerted by the actors in the play is nothing short of a theatrical marathon. They run around the theatre, jump on the walls, wrestle and dance (on stilts).

The show marks the debut of The Artigiani Troupe, and the work developed by Pabotoy and his five-year-old son, based on stories the two of them formed before the young’n drifted off to the delirious world of dreams. While the story is rooted in the simple joy of laughter, that concept obviously expands by the end of the show and informs the audience to slow down a bit, and enjoy all of the things we now hold as everyday mediocrities. Sunshine. Blooming trees. Bees buzzing, not stinging. In it’s innocence it rejuvenates the secret nature of Manhattan. I found myself mesmerized watching the show; an inescapable smile on my face, as I reminisced over how sad and wonderful it all was. Wonderful that an art form like clowning can still rile so much happiness in people of all ages. Sad, because out on the streets so many people were boozing up in bright green, completely unaware that just a few blocks away magic was being created in a small dark space, for a roomful of people.

“That Beautiful Laugh,” runs until March 25th at The Club at La Mama (74 E. 4th st. Btw Bowery and 2nd Ave). Tickets are $18 and $13 for students and seniors. For more info click here.

Best Off-Broadway Show That Should Have Been on Broadway: Toxic Avenger
New World Stages, 340 W. 50th St. (betw. Eighth and Ninth), 212-239-6200
So many screen-to-stage adaptations try to be hilarious camp gold and just end up being crappy on more than one level (if the Spiderman musical ever gets made, this might be its fate). The Toxic Avenger, however, flips that formula and makes a hilarious and powerful rock-opera out of a film camp classic. This show embraces its silly roots and, in doing so, surpasses them to make a truly unique experience. When people say that theater is supposed to be fun, this is what they’re talking about. —MS

Best Celebrity Spawn Actress: Lily Rabe
With her performance earlier this year in Richard Greenberg’s An American Plan, Lily Rabe (daughter of actress Jill Clayburgh and playwright David Rabe) confirmed the opinion of critics who have been hailing her as an actress to watch. Brittle and charming, she exhibited both genuine stage presence and that modicum of real oddness that stars are composed of. Holding one’s own against Broadway icon Mercedes Ruehl is no easy task; that Rabe did so with effortless poise and confidence cements her status as one of the best stage actors of her generation. —MP

Best Up-and-Coming Theater Center in Manhattan: 59E59 Theaters
59 E. 59th St. (betw. Madison and Park), 212-753-5959
It’s the new hip theater center in Manhattan. With three stages offering productions from all over the world, plus a chic bar on the mezzanine, the 59E59 Theaters complex is the ideal place to see experimental theater. Executive Director Elysabeth Kleinhans launched its first production back in February 2004, and she continues to be its driving force. Whether it’s the annual “Brits Off Broadway” or “East of Edinburgh” festivals, the world premiere of a new play or a homegrown writer with new work, the center continues to be at the cutting-edge of contemporary theater. Sure, Broadway is glitzier, and Lincoln Center has been around longer. Notwithstanding, this new state-of-the-art complex carries real weight in the theater community. —DD

Best Places to Rock Uptown—Tie: The Whitney (945 Madison Ave. at 75th, 212-570-3600) and the Guggenheim (1071 Fifth Ave. at 89th, 212-423-3500)
We usually don’t think “Museum Mile” when on the hunt for indie rock, but these two Fifth Avenue stalwarts have given us fresh reasons to stay uptown. This past summer, the Guggenheim introduced the “It Came from Brooklyn” music and literature series, coinciding with the museum’s 50th anniversary. The idea is to showcase up-and-coming talent (for example, the experimental music duo High Places) alongside established stars (writer Colson Whitehead). The series “reinforces the museum’s identity as a versatile, dynamic site for a variety of mutually invigorating art practices.” Yeah, well, we just like seeing multimedia entertainment in a beautiful space.

Over a the Whitney, a nifty series called “Whitney Live” has brought in acts like New Jersey hipster rockers Titus Andronicus and the ever-charming Vivian Girls. We like the no-nonsense first-come, first-served seating policy, and the fact that these shows are free with museum admission—which is pay-what-you-wish on Fridays from 6 to 9 p.m. —CE

Best Reading Series: In The Flesh Reading Series
Third Thursday of every month at Happy Ending Lounge, 302 Broome St. (betw. Eldridge and Forsythe)
212-334-9676
Even though Happy Ending Lounge is most closely associated with its namesake series (which has picked up and moved to Joe’s Pub), there’s something a bit naughtier brewing at the Broome Street den of debauchery. Now in its fourth year, “In the Flesh,” hosted by Rachel Kramer Bussel, features established and up-and-coming writers sharing their frank, funny, frisky tales of love and lust. Even more impressive: the series manages to do so—for the most part—without veering into creepy territory. Tension is cut by asking the audience to anonymously submit sexy secrets, and it doesn’t hurt that Bussel provides hundreds of cupcakes and not-to-be-missed miniature peanut butter cups to lull everyone into a sugar-induced sense of security. Normally we would avoid an erotic reading series like the plague, but after venturing down here to catch a friend reading her dirty dissertation, we were charmed by the humor of the readers and crowd and not at all displeased by the fact that everything we heard was actually—surprisingly—sexy. —BVB

Best Theater News: Angels in America Coming Back to the New York Stage
In September, the Signature Theater Company announced that it would be reviving Tony Kushner’s modern classic Angels in America in New York for it’s 2010-11 season—the first time the show has been remounted since its 1994 close. As lucrative as it is to have shows like Bye Bye Birdie brought back to life—and to have movie stars deign to take the stage—we’re sure it will be a lot more fulfilling to put on a show that actually has something to say. And we’re sure some famous faces could make sure the theater stays packed. —BVB

Best New Galleries—Tie: Parkett at Caroline Nitsch Project Room (534 W. 22nd St., 212-645-2030) and Hauser and Wirth (32 E. 69th St., 212-794-4970)
Are dealers still opening galleries now that the boom’s over? In short yes, though this year, temporary exhibition space and expanding pre-existing enterprise dominate over newbie experimentation. Parkett, for example, a publication known for its collaborative features with artists, opened a temporary exhibition space at Caroline Nitsch Project room to display a 25-year, best-of magazine ephemera retrospective. Meanwhile, blue-chip European giant Hauser and Wirth inaugurated its posh new space exhibiting Allan Kaprow’s Yard with reinventions by William Pope L., Josiah McElheny and Sharon Hayes. Pope L. went so far as to hire an Obama impersonator to orate a collage of clippings by the artist and Kaprow over a darkened pile of tires. It’s incredibly moving. —PJ

Best Bookstore for People Who Still Believe in the Power of Print: Revolution Books
146 W. 26th St. (betw. Sixth and Seventh), 212-691-3345
If you’re looking to pick a bookstore based on personality, why not go all out and choose one that’s actually got a purpose? What sounds more fun: going to the Starbucks in a Barnes and Noble to sit in silence, or venturing into Revolution Books in Chelsea to receive a lecture about the significance of the Chinese Cultural Revolution? Exactly. This Communist bookstore, which sells only revolutionary materials, isn’t messing around with Twilight displays, and we salute that. As manager Travis Morales told us earlier this year, “If you come to the bookstore most nights, you can get an idea of what a revolutionary society is going to look like.” —MS

–
Deirdre Donovan, Charlotte Eichna, Paddy Johnson, Mark Peikert, Mike Spence, Bathsheba van Buren