Beth and Bianca relax on the beach. Photo by Christopher Appoldt

How do you not come home with new animals every time you visit the North Shore Animal League America? I gotta say that’s tough. Right now, with our hectic lifestyles, we only have room for one. But down the road when renovations are finished in our apartment and we’re more settled, absolutely, I want to adopt a lot more animals.
There’s a whole area at the North Shore Animal League of adult dogs, and it’s heartbreaking. A lot of these animals, their owners have passed away, so these perfect animals are sitting there at a shelter waiting to get adopted—people seem to walk right past them when they’re the best pets to get. They’ve already been through the puppy stage, they usually sleep through the night, they’ve had all of their vaccinations up to date and they’re perfect pets, already trained.

Is there a common misconception about adopting pets from a shelter rather than going through a breeder? I always want people to understand that any type of dog—if you want a dog, a cat, a puppy, a kitten—you can find them in a shelter. As a matter of fact, 25 percent of our shelter pets, or any shelter pet, are actually purebreds. So shelters are indeed the best paces to find a huge selection of healthy, happy pets and I urge animal lovers to avoid pet stores. A lot of times animals are supplied by the puppy mill trade where the dogs are bred under really inhumane conditions, and when you go to a shelter you’re saving a life.

Does Bianca come out with you in the city a lot? She does. She goes on errands with me; she’s a frequent shopper at Intermix. And of course we stop at the dry cleaners on the way on Columbus Avenue and she gets treats in there. Everybody seems to know Bianca. But I never take her to a store that you’re not allowed to have animals inside. So many people on the Upper West Side—I see it on a daily basis—tie their dogs outside of Starbucks or grocery stores and that’s just a recipe for disaster. There are so many animals that get stolen that way. A friend of mine went in to get milk with her baby, she tied her English bulldog to the bike fence right outside of D’Agostino’s, she came back and her dog was gone.

Did she get the dog back? We did. I got involved, I had Howard talk about it on the air, we got morning shows involved and thankfully it was a happy ending. So I tell people, if you’re going to leave your dog outside, make sure you have another person to stay with the dog.

Do you have any favorite childhood summer memories? Our family had a little beach house on Lake Erie—I’m from Pittsburgh—and so we would travel two-and-a-half hours to our little beach house, spend all of our summers there. And it was when I had my first boyfriend, my first kiss, all of my friends were there, the campfires—I think that that’s my fondest summer memory.

What’s your book about? My book is called Oh My Dog: How to Raise Your Pet to Be a Happy, Disciplined, Healthy, Fun and Friendly Ball of Love. People think because of my association with animal rescue that I’m an expert on dogs, and I’m so not an expert. I’m just passionate about telling people to adopt. So I’m going with the route of interviewing all the top trainers, all the top behaviorists, all the top vets, and putting together a book where I’m acting as the host of all of these questions that anyone would ever need to know when they bring a dog into their life. We’re expecting a March 2010 release.

Finally, a crucial question for the hottest season of year: Mister Softee or Pinkberry? I’m a Mister Softee person, because if you’re gonna do it, you might as well go for it.

—Charlotte Eichna

Transcript has been edited for brevity and clarity.
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About These Animals
The dogs featured in this year’s summer guide come from the North Shore Animal League America, the largest no-kill animal rescue and adoption organization in the world. Every year, the league places approximately 20,000 dogs, cats, puppies and kittens with new owners, and since 1944 has found homes for nearly 1 million pets.
The league has supported animals in the aftermath of Hurricanes Katrina, Rita, Gustav and Ike, and gives a home to dogs rescued from puppy mills, where animals are often bred under inhuman conditions (two of the dogs featured in these pages come from puppy mills).
We hope that if you decide to add a pet to your family this summer, that you consider adopting one from a shelter.
Thanks to everyone at the league who helped coordinate our shoot with the talented photographer Christopher Appoldt, and thanks to Canine Styles, which provided accessories. For more information, visit www.AnimalLeague.org and www.CanineStyles.com.

WEST SIDE SPIRIT SUMMER GUIDE 2009:

THE GREAT OUTDOORS featuring a Q&A with SeaStreak

MUSIC featuring a Q&A with Bill Bragin, director of public programming for the Lincoln Center

FOOD & DRINK featuring a Q&A with Nick, a 17-year-old Mister Softee vendor

THEATER featuring a Q&A with Sam Neuman, the Public Theater’s press manager.

FILM

BOOKS featuring a Q&A with Amanda Stern, curator of The Happy Endings Reading Series

COMEDY

Rollerblading in Central Park
With the young kids rocking ‘90s fashion again, there is no shame in dusting off your elbow pads and joining Thursday Evening Skate. This free group, run by certified Central Park state patrollers, meets Thursdays at 7 p.m. The route around the traffic-free, 6.1-mile loop (the 5.2-mile version without “Heartbreak Hill” is available as well) is for moderately experienced skaters, and helmets and wrist guards are required. Afterward the group eats dinner—at its own expense—at the Amsterdam Ale House. Thursdays, Columbus Circle entrance to Central Park, www.skatecity.com; 7 p.m., FREE

Dodgeball
Dodgeball is played all over town, but it is especially popular in leagues and drop-in games. Once a week, usually Wednesday or Thursday, the folks at the NYC Social Sports Club host a drop-in game. You can pre-register online, but it is not required. So go hit your best friend in the face with a ball; the only penalty is sitting out for the rest of the game. Totally worth it. Wednesdays or Thursdays at the St. Patrick Youth Center, 270 Mulberry St., betw. Houston and Prince Sts., www.nycssc.com; 6 p.m., $15

Inner Tube Water Polo
One of the oldest continuous Olympic sports, water polo is like an aqueous mix of soccer and handball. Adding inner tubes to the game is an extra resistance challenge, an effective form of exercise and a great equalizer: it saves the aqua-impaired from the embarrassment of wearing water wings to the next match. This league’s deadline for individual or team registration is June 26, so butter up your friends or come and make new ones! Sundays, July 12 to Aug. 23 (playoffs), Lower East Side locations TBA, www.nycssc.com; 8, $100

Kickball
Come kick it like you used to during 5th grade recess. Plus, players get special deals on drinks after the game (maybe a little different from the elementary school playground, but whatever). Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, Lower East Side locations TBA, www.meetup.com/nykickball; 6 p.m., $100 for the season

Ultimate Frisbee
As the New York Times pointed out in late April, Ultimate is no longer associated with dirty hippies and collegians. Whether or not your response time is limited by smoking the happy lettuce, Ultimate can be an intensely challenging sport—just ask the folks in the international recognized competitions. A summer league is open through NYC Social Sports Club, but pickup games can be found all over the city, including Central and Prospect parks. Fridays from May 29 to July 10, Location TBA, meetup.com/NYCUltimate; 6 p.m., $100 or FREE for pickup games

Wii Parties at the Creek
While admittedly not really outdoors, how could anyone resist the chance to show off those sporty video games skills? No shame is involved in these free Wii sports competitions along with games of Super Smash Brothers, Mario Kart and more mindless fun. Second and fourth Mondays, 10-93 Jackson Ave., at 11th St., Queens, thecreekandthecave.com; 7 p.m., FREE

Basketball
The quintessentially New York (and American) sport is fantastic outdoor exercise, and the Parks Department offers numerous opportunities to play, from working on your jump shot to finding a drop-in game in more than 500 locations all over Manhattan—or you can join a league at Zog Sports. Saturdays, various locations, www.zogsports.org

Hudson Kayaking
We just can’t get enough of the Hudson this season, and if boat rides are too pedestrian for the urban explorer, Downtown Boathouse offers 20-minute long lessons, giving “first hand” exploration of New York’s historic aquatic highway. Best of all, it is free to the public; just dress to get wet. For able swimmers only.
June 3 to Sept. 23, Piers 40 (West Houston St.), 96 (W. 56th St.) and Riverside park at W. 72nd St., www.downtownboathouse.org; times vary, FREE

Let’s Dance!
A staple of the Summer on the Hudson festival, Let’s Dance! is the best way to take the ballroom out of dancing and get down in a park. With professional lessons from the Piel Canela Dance and Music school, adventurous romantics can spend the night learning salsa, cha-cha or the bachata—a Dominican dance style similar to meringue. Sundays, Pier 1 at Riverside Park, betw. 65th & 72nd Sts., www.riversideparkfund.org; 6 p.m., FREE

Midsummer Night Swing
For those looking to tear up the concrete with a pre-surgery Jennifer Grey look-alike, there is nowhere classier than Lincoln Center’s Damrosch Park. Offering rockabilly, tango, soul, salsa, swing and more, talented acts like Big Bad Voodoo Daddy and the Harlem Renaissance Orchestra provide foot-stomping sounds all through July. Dance lessons are offered at 6:30 p.m. with live music firing up about an hour later. Tuesdays through Saturdays, July 7 to 25, W. 62nd St. betw. Columbus and Amsterdam Aves., www.midsummernightswing.org; $15

Bastille Day Celebrations
Observed on July 14, French Independence Day celebrates the storming of Paris’ infamous political prison. In New York, Bastille Day is an excuse to play pétanque, eat crepes and get drunk in the sun on fancy wine. Although the French Institute Alliance Français hosts an annual Bastille day on E. 60th St. (betw. 5th & Madison Aves.), the real deal is in Carroll Gardens and Boerum Hill, where sponsors like Ricard, the sizeable French expat population and Smith Street bistros hold the Gallic-themed street fests. July 14, Smith St. betw. Pacific and Degraw Sts., www.bartabacny.com and www.provenceenboite.com; noon, FREE

Beach Volleyball Competition
Claiming to be the “largest free amateur beach volleyball” competition on the East Coast, 150 teams compete for free elimination rounds starting in July. The best ballers win great cash prizes and superlative Brooklyn respect, which is recognized practically everywhere the sun shines. The NYC Parks Department hosts, and details will be released in June. www.nycgovparks.org

Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest
An important holiday for New Yorkers, July 4 is when we celebrate a quintessential American experience: stuffing our faces with hot dogs until our hearts pump sodium. This annual Independence Day competition has become its own spectator sport, attracting international competitors and some 30,000 people to view the contest—not to mention the million-plus that watch it on ESPN. July 4, Coney Island Boardwalk, www.coneyisland.com; time TBA, FREE
Beach Fireworks at Coney Island
Friday night fireworks, which begin at 9:30 p.m. starting June 19, are accompanied by karaoke and are best viewed from the top of Deno’s Wonderwheel. Fridays, June 19 to Aug. 18, Coney Island Boardwalk at W. 12th St., www.wonderwheel.com; 9:30 p.m., FREE

Twilight Tours in Prospect Park
An evening boat ride on Prospect Park Lake is romantic. Throw some wine and cheese in the mix, and it’s practically a honeymoon. You’ll know it’s marriage, however, when you finish up with a guided night tour of the park’s mysterious bat population. For most Thursdays this summer, you’ll be offered a chance to glimpse into the amazing—and slightly creepy—nocturnal creatures that call Brooklyn home. Thursdays, Prospect Park Audubon Center, www.prospectpark.org; 6:30 p.m., $30
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Ship Ahoy

By Nick Broad

SeaStreak not only offers rides out to the Mets and Yankees games, but it is also the only ferry service that transports people to the beaches of Sandy Hook during the summer. One of them, Gunnison Beach, is among the largest clothing-optional beaches in the United States, making it quite apropos that a company called SeaStreak should transport patrons there. We spoke to Captain Donald J. Babbitt about the trip. The following transcript has been edited.

How did you become a captain? I was a mate on a fishing boat. Some of my friends that were mates also left to go and work for the ferry service. After a few years of them urging me to come and work with them, I did, and I’ve been with SeaStreak since April 2003.

Tickets are sold on a first come, first served basis from the city. Are there trips that are sold out? What’s the best way of making sure you get a ride? We only sell out or max our capacity in the summertime weekends. Don’t show up at 10 a.m. for a 10 a.m. departure! Arrive at least 10 minutes before the boat departs, and that should give you a better chance of getting on board.

What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever seen floating in the water? Any wildlife—seals, whales? I once saw a roof of a house or shed floating down the East River. We do on occasion see whales and dolphins. My favorite is seeing the seals sun themselves on top of the ice floes in the winter.

Do you have any good stories about odd things that have occurred on a ferry ride? One summer, while taking passengers to a Mets game, I noticed two small Coast Guard boats riding alongside of us. They often provide us with an escort, so I didn’t think anything of it. Later that day I found out that there were a couple of female passengers on the sun deck exposing themselves to the Coast Guardsmen. That explains why they all had smiles on their faces!

SeaStreak picks up passengers in Manhattan from Pier 11 (on the East River at Wall Street) and East 35th Street and the East River. The company operates this service from May 23 until Labor Day weekend. Tickets cost $40 for a round trip, plus $5 for a bicycle. There is a shuttle bus in Sandy Hook to take people to the various beaches. For a complete schedule and other details, visit www.seastreak.com.

10 Downing Food & Wine Embattled chef Jason Neroni triumphantly returns with this buzzy standout, crafting luxe renditions of rustic classics like cassoulet studded with duck meatballs and Provençal-style lamb chops. Sidewalk seating is a perk. (10 Downing St. at Sixth Ave., 212-255-0300)

230 Fifth One of the first big-name spots in NoMad (North of Madison Square Park), this rooftop bar—which also features a massive indoor space—might draw a stuffy crowd, but it can’t be beat as far as view and comfy deck chairs go. (230 5th Ave. betw. 26th & 27th Sts., 212-725-4300)

Ali Baba’s Terrace Turkish kebabs reach new heights at this Midtown grilled-meat purveyor’s rooftop deck. From your bird’s-eye perch, get rocked on anise-scented raki while gnawing well-charred lamb skewers. (862 Second Ave. at 46th St., 212-888-8622)

B. Café Small and cozy, the venue has a tasty selection of Belgian dishes and bottled brews. The kitchen prepares traditional Moules frites in five and has an extensive dessert carte. During warmer months, there are extra tables available in a small garden. (240 E. 75th St. betw. 2nd and 3rd Aves., 212-249-3300)

Back Forty Back’s casual backyard makes this seasonally influenced East Village diner a summery fave. Fried indulgences (pork-jowl nuggets, beer-battered onion rings) rub against roasted spring vegetables and grilled Catskills trout. (190 Ave. B betw. 11th & 12th Sts., 212-388-1990)

Bello Giardino The eatery is famous for its Mediterranean-inspired patio, covered by grapevines and decorated with flowers. Those who visit will find a traditional Italian menu, yet the signature dish of this well-known Italian restaurant is Chef Nick Mormando’s ravioli. (71 W. 71st St., near Columbus Ave., 212-875-1512)

Bohemian Beer Garden There’s no way to avoid it. At some point in your New York life a friend will celebrate his birthday at this massive outdoor sausage fest (really, they serve sausage!) and you will seem like a spoilsport for not wanting to go. It’s a long haul, but can be worth it if you get there early, make sure to eat something and remember how to get back to the subway. (2919 24th Ave. betw. 29th & 31th Sts., Queens, 718-274-4925)

Central Park Boathouse In the eastern end of the Central Park Lake, visitors can enjoy the sunset over the lake while drinking a glass of wine and eating seasonal dishes. There is also a outside grill and bar, with a small menu of light bites and cocktails. (E. 72nd St. & Park Drive North, 212-517-2233)

Cha Cha’s If yards of watery daiquiris aren’t your style, Cha Cha’s is one of the only places to have a drink at Coney Island. The outdoor seating on the boardwalk provides unparalleled people watching and access to the hot dogs at Nathan’s. There’s also Beer Island, a sandy outpost of Cha Cha’s with a huge selection of suds, just across the way. (1229 Boardwalk, betw. Stillwell Ave. & W. 12th St., Brooklyn, 718-946-1305)

d.b.a. This longtime East Village favorite, in addition to being home to dozens of beer-geek favorites and a serious selection of whiskey, has a charming backyard with a way more space to enjoy your $10 shot of Redbreast Irish whiskey than the generally packed inside. The newly opened Brooklyn branch has yet to get slammed, but the yard, and booze, is still just as nice. (41 1st Ave. betw. 2nd & 3rd Sts., 212-475-5097 and 113 N. 7th St., betw. Wythe Ave. & Berry St., Brooklyn, 718-218-6006)

The Delancey Despite its perch overlooking the Williamsburg Bridge, the rooftop at The Delancey manages to provide an escape from the hot, loud summer b.s. going on down at street level. Lush greenery, water features and plenty of seating make this the closest you’ll get to a resort without going above Houston. (168 Delancey St., betw. Clinton & Attorney Sts., 212-254-9920)

Elizabeth A gorgeous 50-seat garden with a retractable roof defines this Nolita spot serving affordable, classed-up comfort food like Chimay-battered fish and chips and cocktails strong enough to weaken your knees. (265 Elizabeth St. betw. Houston & Prince Sts, 212-334-2426)

Entwine The West Village welcomes this bi-level newcomer that is, by turns, a tavern, cocktail parlor, tasting room and outdoor garden (phew!), where diners can sip classic cocktails and snack on cured meats and cheeses. (765 Washington St., at 12th St., 212-727-8765)

Frying Pan We’re not boat people. We don’t even really cook that much. But for some reason the Frying Pan, a boat docked in Chelsea with a bar on it, appeals to us completely. (Pier 66, W. 26th St. at West Side Highway, 212-989-6363)

Gowanus Yacht Club For all the talk about South Brooklyn residents being more calm and cultured than their Williamsburg brethren, things at this Smith Street stalwart get pretty sloppy. Not so much a yacht club as a packed patio known for cheap pitchers of beer and low-end summer snacks (hello, boiled hot dogs!), this is still one of the most fun places in the area—as long as you snag a table. (323 Smith St. at President St., Brooklyn, no phone)

Hudson River Café You’d expect the noise of the elevated highway or the nearby trains to drown out any good times at this newish destination spot (next to the Uptown Fairway), but it’s actually the unending loudspeakers blaring jazz and other “lively” music. Sometimes, we’d rather be left in peace to have a conversation with our crew than to be relentlessly entertained. But that doesn’t mean you will regret the café’s $35 buffet brunch deal, which includes unlimited bellinis and mimosas. The Sunset Menu is also a deal: $22 three-course menu, Sun.-Wed. with half-price drinks. (697 W. 133rd St. at Riverside Dr., 212-491-9111)

Hudson Terrace Hundreds can pack into the two outdoor spaces in this West Side restaurant, which dishes up grilled corn, truffled edamame dip, lollipop chicken wings and sliders. If you’re looking for something boozier, drinks include sugary specialties like sangria and the passion fruit-flavored Bikini Martini. (621 W. 46th St. betw. 11th & 12th Aves., 212-315-9400)

I Coppi Looking for romance, Italian style? Forget Little Italy and hit this East Village eatery with a drawer-dropping backyard and a menu full of urban aphrodisiacs: brick-oven pizza, fig gelato and an out-of-this-world gnocchi with crab meat. Rarely crowded, this is the spot to bring your next great summer mistake. (432 E. 9th St. betw. Ave. A & 1st Ave., 212-254-2263)

Iris and B. Gerald Cantor Roof Garden The sculpture terrace of the Metropolitan Museum of Art has one of the best-kept secrets in the city: a small bar that sells margaritas, mojitos and mixed drinks. The second best part is the view of the Central Park. (1000 5th Ave. at 82nd. St., 212-535-7710)

La Rural The Argentinean bistro hosts live tangos shows on the 29th of every month. To get the full Buenos Aires experience, sit in the backyard and chow down on grilled steak, chased by a good Malbec. (768 Amsterdam Ave. near 97th St. 212-749-2929)

Le Refuge This small French bistro, located in a 1868 townhouse, resembles a Normandy home. The menu has the perfect-crisped duck and an excellent selection of French wines. There is a backyard patio, framed by a white picket fence, where guests can eat if the weather allows it. (166 E. 82nd St. betw. Lexington and 3rd Ave., 212-861-4505)

Nougatine Chef Jean-Georges Vongerichten presents a playful and flavorful menu, filled with his signature dishes. The restaurant is next to the famous Jean Georges and it offers guests outdoor dining. (1 Central Park West, Trump International Hotel, 212-299-3900)

One 83 This neighborhood favorite offers traditional yet chic Italian food. Head to the outdoor patio for a romantic Italian dinner, or to let your kids blow off steam during the warmer months. (1608 1st Ave. betw. East 84th & 85th Sts., 212-327-4700)

P&G The iconic Upper West Side bar has reopened its doors—as well as some outdoor space! Currently located on Columbus Avenue, six blocks from its original place on Amsterdam, the new P&G is three times as large as the old one. The new venue has a below-ground terrace and it will soon offer outdoor seating. (380 Columbus Ave. at 78th St., 212-874-8568)

Pier I Café Although it’s on the doorsteps of the icky Trump Towers, Pier I Café, at Riverside Park South, remains one of those places that you can enjoy a sunny afternoon with a beer and a burger—without being terrorized by children and the typical Boat Basin yahoos. Watch out for the cyclists; they can certainly get pushy as they commandeer tables. The Pat La Frieda burgers are the big, pleasing surprise here. It’ll cost ya more than $10, but the two-hander will more than fill you up, you have a choice of cheeses (the bleu, of course) and the herbed fries are great. (W. 70th St. at the Hudson River, 212-362-4450)

Sripraphai While Woodside’s famed Thai restaurant gets due accolades for its complex, incendiary curries and fried watercress salad, the destination’s leafy garden is another reason to take the quick 7-train trip. (64-13 39th Ave. at 64th St., Queens, 718-899-9599)

Tonda From the ashes of the East Village’s ill-fated E.U. comes this Neapolitan-style pizzeria serving individual-size pies (mmm… roasted egg–speck-asparagus) baked in a wood-burning oven. Weekends welcome a sidewalk brunch. (235 E. 4th St. at Ave. B, 212-254-2900)

Union Pool What the Cedar Tavern was to the Abstract Impressionists, Union Pool is to the Bohemian Impressionables. Boasting a taco truck in the humungous back yard, plenty of seating space, a fire pit for chilly nights and a space for live music, Union Pool is a smart stop to cram all of your Billyburg fun into one night. (484 Union Ave. betw. Meeker Ave. & Conselyea St., Brooklyn, 718-609-0484)

UVA Italian food and wine meet in a restaurant decorated with candelabras and chandeliers. The outdoor patio offers an intimate dining area framed by fences and flower boxes. (1486 2nd Ave. betw. 77th & 78th Sts., 212-472-4552)

Vince & Eddie’s This internal garden space is the perfect setting for a summer meal. The grilled Idaho Brook trout and the Guinness beef stew are among the best dishes at this eatery, which specializes in American comfort food. (70 W. 68th St., betw. Columbus Ave. and Central Park West, 212-721-0068)

Walter Foods Slurp oysters and vintage cocktails with equal vigor at this retro-styled Williamsburg gastropub serving a succulent French dip. Instead of the chic tiled dining room, hit the serene, spanking-new patio. (253 Grand St. betw. Roebling St. & Driggs Ave., Brooklyn, 718-387-8783)
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Inside the Truck

By Nick Broad

Mister Softee, the largest franchiser of soft ice cream trucks in the U.S., turns 53 this year. The company’s trucks are a complete ice cream stand on wheels, delivering treats via a high efficiency Electro Freeze soft serve machine. We spoke to Nick, a 17-year-old vendor parked near F.A.O. Schwartz and the Apple Store on East 59th Street, on his first day of work.

How long did you train? Just today. They said so far I’m doing good. They teach you about the prices and how to pour a cone, but it’s pretty easy. Still, I got a little messy today.

Do you like the jingle? Yeah [smiles].

Did you know there were lyrics? “The creamiest, dreamiest soft ice cream…” No, I never heard that before. I’ll have to go home and look it up later.

What’s your favorite flavor? Chocolate, definitely. Our biggest sellers are chocolate and vanilla cones. But I haven’t been eating much. You don’t have a quota for how much ice cream you can eat, but you kinda get sick of it after a while. You’ve got to taste it here and there to make sure the ice cream’s good.

Do you have a specific route, or do you decide where to drive? Yeah, there’s a route. Today I’m sitting right here. They’re checking up on me now and again. You go to a central garage to pick up the van. There are a lot more vans in New York than you can count.

Is working for Mister Softee like you thought it would be? This is actually my first day on the job, and I’m enjoying it. It’s a lot better—the sun is out, and I’m making money! You work from around 11 or 12 to about 7 or 8. It’s not that tiring, and I get to socialize, to meet new people, and it’s fun. What’s better than this?

Strangers
An examination of green card marriages set against the backdrop of film noir (complete with cameos by femme fatales and private eyes), Strangers combines live music and video to explore how people live in our paranoid age, and how everyone wants something else. (May 28 to June 13, The Ontological Theater, 131 E. 10th St. at 2nd Ave., 212-352-3101, www.ontological.com)

Hudson Warehouse’s Shakespeare in the Park
This summer, give Central Park a break and check out Hudson Warehouse’s sixth season in Riverside Park, where the company presents The Tempest (June), Hamlet (July) and A Midsummer Night’s Dream (August). (June to August, Riverside Park, W. 89th St. at Riverside Dr., www.hudsonwarehouse.com)

Bandit just loved Rock of Ages. The wired hair Jack Russell terrier mix is about 2 years old.

The Antidepressant Festival
If you find the summer heat depressingly oppressive, give The Antidepressant Festival a try. Nineteen shows are guaranteed to provide “instant and medicated happiness,” and ticket prices are much less than paying for enough booze to pass out without tossing and turning and sweating through your sheets. (June 5 to July 4, The Brick Theater, 575 Metropolitan Ave. at Union St., Brooklyn, 212-352-3101, www.bricktheater.com)

Archbishop Supreme Tartuffe
The Classical Theatre of Harlem presents an original adaptation of Moliere’s Tartuffe, the name has changed a bunch, but we’re sure now that it’s  Archbishop Supreme Tartuffe. Instead of taking place uptown at the Gatehouse in West Harlem, it’ll be on Theatre Row. Expect the original work, by Alfred Preisser and Randy Weiner, to be full of interesting twists and turns: it’s set during the apex of the Harlem Renaissance and inspired by the work of Father Divine. (June 12 to July 19, The Clurman Theatre, 410 W. 42nd St. betw. 9th & 10th Aves., 212-868-444, www.classicaltheatreofharlem.org.)

Heart of the City
Oscar-nominee Melissa Leo (Frozen River) hits the boards this summer in a “quintessential New York tale” about finding love on the Brooklyn IRT, young artists trying to survive the asphalt jungle and the correct way to make a matzo ball. (June 11 to 29, Theatre at 30th Street, 259 W. 30th St., at 7th Ave., 212-242-9113, www.heartofthecityplay.com)

The Wiz
Songbird Ashanti eases on down the road as Dorothy in this R&B version of The Wizard of Oz (remember Diana Ross in the film version?). For the third year in a row, Encores! presents a limited engagement of a Broadway show that has all the charm of summer stock, plus mountains more talent. (June 12 to July 5, NY City Center, 130 W. 56th St., at 6th Ave., 212-581-1212, www.nycitycenter.org)

Pebble-and-Cart Cycle: One-Line Tragedies
Conceived and directed by Polina Klimovitskaya, these one-line tragedies featuring puppets are the first half of a six-part cycle that combines folk legends, animal archetypes and religious rites to reveal the “theater of inner conflict.” (June 16 to 25, Dixon Place, 161 Chrystie St. at Delancey St., 212-219-0763, www.dixonplace.org)

The Comedy of Errors in Central Park
The scrappy little Boomerang Theater Company offers free Shakespeare in Central Park as well. This year it’s more comedy by the Bard. (June 20 to 28; July 11 to 19, Central Park at W. 69th St., the lawn between Strawberry Fields and Tavern on the Green, www.boomerangtheatre.org)

Barefoot in the Park
Sure, the Neil Simon comedy was just revived on Broadway and hasn’t aged all that well. But seeing the show staged in the tiny (and deliciously air-conditioned) MTS theater (and with an extra $5 for anyone who runs through the newly re-opened Washington Square Park) is perfect for a hot summer night when thinking too hard isn’t an option. (July 9 to July 26, Manhattan Theatre Source, 177 MacDougal St. at 8th St., 212-501-4751, www.thetheatresource.org)

Shakespeare in the Parking Lot
For the 16th summer in a row, The Drilling Company offers up a fun, low-rent alternative to Shakespeare in the Park. This year, parking lot attendants perform A Midsummer Night’s Dream and Measure for Measure. So pull up a hubcap and crack open a 40. (July 9 to Aug. 15, The Parking Lot, at the corner of Ludlow and Broome Sts., 212-877-0099, www.drillingcompany.org)

Thank You for Being a Friend
If Bea Arthur’s death has still got you bummed, try some communal healing at this musical parody, about roommates Blanchette, Dorthea, Roz and Sophie, and their feud with next-door-neighbor Lance Bass over his loud, outdoor gay sex parties. Last time that happened to us, we had to move. Thanks, Lance! (May 24 to July 12, The Kraine Theater, 85 E. 4th St., betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves., 212-352-3101, www.horsetrade.info)

Gorilla Rep
If you don’t have the budget for big sets, use the monuments the city gives you. Last summer, Gorilla Rep presented a beautiful version of Hamlet just outside the Cloisters. This July the company returns to Ft. Tryon Park’s Pinegrove with a new take on Joan of Arc, penned by Robert Ackerman. Then, in August, take in playwright Laura Lynn MacDonald’s new adaptation/translation of Ibsen’s wild fairy tale Peer Gynt—complete with masks and puppets—on and around Central Park’s Spirit Rock. (July & August, www.gorillarep.org)

East to Edinburgh Festival
Attention to direction is all in this festival—these shows are trying to reach the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, not moving on from it. This year includes a rock version of A Midsummer Night’s Dream, in case you can’t get enough Shakespeare between Memorial and Labor days. (July 14 to Aug. 2, 59E59 Theaters, 59 E. 59th St. at Park Ave., 212-279-4200, www.59e59.org)

Tally Ho!, or Navigating the Future
This kid-friendly musical—about a young bank teller’s adventures in high finance—is part of Theater for the New City’s annual summer street theater tour. This year it starts at Morningside Park and will continue in other parks and playgrounds throughout the five boroughs. (Aug. 2 to Sept. 13, various parks & locations, 212-254-1109, www.cityparksfoundation.org)
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The Hottest Free Ticket in Town

By Nick Broad
Every summer, the Public Theater offers free performances of Shakespeare and other classic works in Central Park’s Delacorte Theater. On stage this year will be one of the Bard’s most beloved comedies, Twelfth Night, starring Academy Award nominee Anne Hathaway as Viola and directed by Tony Award winner Daniel Sullivan (June 10 to July 12). The theater will also present The Bacchae, a Greek tragedy directed by Joanne Akalaitis, with music by Philip Glass (Aug. 11 to 30).
Sam Neuman, the theater’s press manager, spent a few minutes talking about the “insanely busy” summer season. Below is an edited transcript.

How did you choose Twelfth Night? We want to present something that’s in keeping with our mission and is popular with the Central Park crowd. This one is comic, and lasts two-and-a-half hours. Anne Hathaway’s character disguises herself as a man, and then it turns out she has an identical twin brother. It’s very fun, and always gets a good reaction.

We know the ticket line gets busy—how bad is it? There are always people who wait overnight for those tickets. There are even people who pay others to wait in line for them. Street musicians come out to entertain the crowd, others come around with food and daily newspapers, and people have picnics and play board games. A few times I’ve seen a man dressed up in a Shakespearean costume. Last year, for Hair, a lot of people got their retro clothing out.

What if you don’t want to wait in line? www.publictheater.org allows people to sign up for the chance of getting tickets online, but it’s not guaranteed. And if you don’t get a ticket in the park, there’s also a standby line, which forms as soon as the other tickets stop being sold.

What do you do if it rains? If it’s light, the performance goes on. One year we were forced to stop, as the stage for  Romeo and Juliet had become a pool of water. We get some delays, but there are very few rainouts.

How much preparation goes into each season? We begin rehearsals a month early. Then about a week beforehand, we do tech, which is where everyone rehearses on stage. They spend about a week doing 12-hour days; it’s an intense rehearsal schedule. People describe the experience as being a sort of summer camp. Something about being outdoors and with a collaborative theater, being out there with the elements.

Free tickets to Shakespeare in the Park are distributed on the day of the performance beginning at 1 p.m. at The Delacorte Theater in Central Park. Limit of two tickets per person. A limited number of tickets are also available the day of each performance online beginning June 10. Note: The Public Theater will not be distributing tickets downtown at 425 Lafayette St.

Anthology Film Archives
Still a haven for classic alternative cinema, anthology’s summer program includes several tantalizing looks at the past. These include a retrospective of worldly film diarist Robert Kramer running July 17 through 23, with a fresh print of his 1975 epic,  Milestones, which focuses on radical veterans of civil rights campaigns and Vietnam protests. “Overlooked Seventies Films,” running Aug. 7 to 13, contains selections by Blue Underground DVD label head William Lustig. (32 2nd Ave. at 2nd St., 212-505-5181, www.anthologyfilmarchives.org)

BAMcinemaFEST
New York’s newest independent film festival is a welcome one, bringing several independent hits on the festival circuit to Brooklyn (much in the tradition of BAM’s annual collaboration with the Sundance Institute). The inaugural lineup includes Andrew Bujalski’s perplexingly low-key Beeswax and Brock Enright: Good Times Will Never Be the Same, a divisive portrait of the boundary-pushing New York performance artist. Other noteworthy titles include the heartbreaking Children of Invention and Reporter, a documentary about Nicholas Kristof in Darfur. (June 17 to July 2, 30 Lafayette Ave. at Ashland Pl., Brooklyn, 718-636-4100, www.bam.org)

Bryant Park Summer Film Fest
The ever-popular outdoor film series that’s more of an excuse for picnicking under the stars every Monday begins June 15 with The Sting and includes the proto-cougar flick Harold & Maude. It all ends with the Spielberg alien classic, Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Get ready for some summer epiphanies. (Bryant Park, Fifth Ave. betw. 40th & 42nd Sts., www.bryantpark.org)

Brooklyn International Film Festival
Heading into its 12th year, the Brooklyn International Film Festival continues to maintain its local flavor by showcasing young, upcoming filmmakers working outside the mainstream. (June 5 to 14, Brooklyn Heights Cinema, 70 Henry St. at Orange St., Brooklyn, 718-596-7070, www.wbff.org.)

Celebrate Brooklyn!’s Music & Movies Series
Perhaps one of the most experimental outdoor film series this summer takes place in Prospect Park. First string quartet Ethel and Gutbucket present a new score for the science fiction classic, La Nave de los Monstruos, June 20 at 7:30 p.m. Then Dean & Britta present their score for 13 Most Beautiful…Songs for Andy Warhol’s Screen Tests  on Aug. 1 (with Crystal Stilts providing pre-game entertainment). It’s impossible not to want to join in the Purple Rain sing-along Aug. 6. There will be lyric subtitles onscreen, and Joy Dragland, lead singer of disco orchestra Escort, will lead the sing-a-long to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the album. (June 8 to Aug. 15, Prospect Park Bandshell, 9th St. & Prospect Park West, Brooklyn, www.briconline.org)

Central Park Film Festival
Does it really matter what you’re going to see? Probably not, since you’ll probably be too busy yapping with your pals under the stars. But, just in case, this outdoor flick fest starts Aug. 18 with Sex & the City and ends five days later with the viewers’ choice: you get a chance to vote (visit www.7online.com between July 21 and Aug. 21) on Desperately Seeking Susan, Men in Black and Goldfinger. Make the right decision. (Aug. 18 to 22, Central Park, Rumsey Playfield, enter park at 69th & Fifth Ave., www.centralparknyc.org.)

Cine Fest Petrobras Brazil
Modern Brazilian cinema gets a detailed showcase in this annual series, which begins on Aug. 5 in Central Park with a free screening of Sergio Rezende’s Zuzu Angel and a show by Afroreggae. It continues with competition screenings at Tribeca Cinemas throughout the week. The closing night event takes place at The New School’s Tishman Auditorium on Aug. 12. (Aug. 5 to 12, Central Park, Rumsey Playfield, enter park at 69th & Fifth Ave., and the Tribeca Cinemas, 54 Varick St. at Laight St., www.brazilianfilmfestival.com)

Cinéma Tuesdays at French Institute Alliance Français
Get your fill of French imports at this East Side cultural institute. Film series this summer include “The Radiance of a grand acteur: Michel Piccoli,” featuring both Godard’s Contempt (June 2) and Buñuel’s  Belle de Jour (July 7). (Tuesdays, Florence Gould Hall, 55 E. 59th St. near Madison Ave., 212-307-4100, www.fiaf.org)

Film Forum
The quintessential repertory theater’s summer offerings run the gamut of film history. A retrospective of seminal American filmmaker Nicholas Ray (seminal to the French, anyway) runs July 23 to Aug. 6, preceded by a week-long run of his 1950 Humphrey Bogart noir In a Lonely Place. No less thrilling but certainly a lot louder, Ridley Scott’s  Alien screens for one week, July 10 to 16. Aug. 3 brings a silent treat: the lost 1930 foreign version of  All Quiet on the Western Front. (209 W. Houston St., betw. 6th Ave. & Varick St., 212-727-8110, www.filmforum.org.)

The Film Society of Lincoln Center
Break out the tie-dye shirt and love beads for the director’s cut of Woodstock (June 3). Michael Wadleigh and concert producer Michael Lang are scheduled to attend this 40th anniversary screening, along with “special guests.” In the spirit of hippiedom, partake in free popcorn and soda. A marathon of classics runs July 3 to 5 with “Fifty Years of Movie Musicals.” Catch Top Hat, Viva Las Vegas, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes and Hair, as well as midnight screenings of Purple Rain and Rocky Horror Picture Show. (Walter Reade Theater, 165 W. 65th St., upper level betw. Broadway and Amsterdam Ave., 212-875-5601, www.filmlinc.com)

IFC Center
In addition to the packed New York Asian Film Festival, the venue also continues its Waverly Midnights program through July 4, with screenings of classic Stanley Kubrick movies such as 2001: A Space Odyssey (June 12 through 13) and The Killing (June 26 through 27). There are also revival screenings of The Lost Boys on May 29 and 30, the impressively curated Stranger Than Fiction documentary series through June 5, and various classics shown at 11 a.m. every Friday and Saturday. (323 6th Ave., at 3rd St., 212-924-7771, www.ifccenter.com)

Movies with a View
So long as it doesn’t rain, these outdoor screenings under the Brooklyn Bridge in the heart of Dumbo provide one of the most beautiful backdrops for movie watching in all of New York. This year offers a diverse range of classics, kicking off with Raising Arizona and concluding with Edward Scissorhands. Other highlights include The Return of the Pink Panther and Peter Bogdonavich’s Paper Moon. (July 9 to Aug. 27, Brooklyn Bridge Park, Brooklyn, enter park at Main & Plymouth Sts., www.brooklynbridgepark.org)

Movies Under the Stars
This year’s theme is “Nieuw York/New York,” films that span centuries, in honor of the Hudson River Quadricentennial. The schedule includes Scorsese’s take on Edith Wharton’s The Age of Innocence (July 8); a trip back to 80s excess in Wall Street (July 15) and Neil Simon’s comedy The Out-of-Towners (July 29). Movies begin at 8:30 p.m. Films are free, thanks to Riverside South Properties. (Wednesdays, July 8 to Aug. 12, Riverside Park South, Pier I, Hudson River at 70th St., 212-408-0219, www.riversideparkfund.org)

NewFest
If you haven’t yet made it to the new SVA Theatre, formerly the crappy Clearview on West 23rd Street, NewFest is taking up residence this summer. One of many LGBT-themed fests, this one does have its fair share of scantily clad boys and girls in feature-length films and the ever-popular shorts to titillate the folks who don’t get enough of that online already. (June 4 to 11, SVA Theater, 260 W. 23rd St., betw. 7th & 8th Aves., www.newfest.org)

New York Asian Film Festival
Subway Cinema programs this always-fascinating glimpse at the several noteworthy accomplishments in contemporary Asian cinema. This year, the summer’s most popular New York film festival includes a retrospective of Japanese pink films (essentially far-out porn) and the totally crazy-sounding four-hour epic Love Exposure. (June 19 to July 2, IFC Center, 323 6th Ave. at 3rd St., 212-924-7771, www.subwaycinema.com)

River Flicks
It’s last year’s summer blockbusters (since you want to remember how great you had it last summer), beginning with Iron Man, you’ll want to relive The Dark Knight, and we can’t wait to see how the pier turns out for stoner flick Pineapple Express on the final eve. Movies begin at dusk (generally around 8:30 p.m.), and there’s free popcorn. (July 8 to Aug. 19, Hudson River Park, Pier 54 at W.14th St., www.hudsonriverpark.org)

Sunshine Midnight Movies
Always a great place to catch the latest art-house releases, Sunshine’s midnight program offers Gen-X classics that always bring out the crowd. Upcoming movies include The Great Muppet Caper on June 5 and 6, followed by Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade on June 12 and 13. (143 E. Houston St. betw. Forsythe & Eldridge Sts., 212-358-7709,   www.landmarktheatres.com)

Happy Ending (Music and) Reading Series (read interview below!)
Host Amanda Stern’s happy hour readings with music on the side, a perennially popular and star-studded series, will feature authors Samantha Hunt and Steven Berlin Johnson on June 3, along with tunes from electronic music pioneer Tristan Perich. Most of the themes and writers for the summer are still TBA, but Lush Life author Richard Price, Moby and Vampire Weekend have all shown up before. If the past guest list is any indication, Happy Ending is definitely worth a visit. First Wednesday of the month, Joe’s Pub, 425 Lafayette St., betw. E. 4th St. and Astor Pl., 212-254-1263; 7, $15

Promise, an adult female shepherd mix, loves to curl up with a good book. Photo by Christopher Appoldt

Word for Word Series
With upward of 55 free events this summer, the Word for Word series in Bryant Park has something for everyone. On June 2, the creative writing program directors from NYU, Long Island University and Drew University will stop by to talk about their teaching. The next day, Christopher Buckley, satirist and son of William F. Buckley, will discuss his memoir during a lunchtime talk. Reading events for children are scheduled throughout the summer, and craft/career advice seminars are open as well, including a roundtable with editors from The Believer and McSweeney’s magazines on how to get your fiction published. Though all events are free, some require registration. Every Wednesday, Bryant Park, enter park at 42nd St. & 5th Ave., 212-768-4242; 12:30, FREE

Madison Square Reads
Throughout the summer, well-known writers will give free outdoor readings in the Park (right next to Shake Shack!). On July 16, Lee Child, writer of the best-selling Jack Reacher thrillers, will give a reading. The series’ other highlight is a John Cheever panel on July 30, featuring Cheever’s daughter, the head of Harvard’s creative writing program and Blake Bailey, whose recently published Cheever: A Life has sparked newfound interest in the anti-Suburbia writer.  Thursday evenings, Madison Square Park’s Farragut Monument, enter park at 23rd St. and Madison Ave., www.madisonsquarepark.org; 6:30, FREE

McNally Jackson Fiction Book Club
Tired of listening to writers babble on about themselves and want to speak for yourself? Drop in on the McNally Jackson book club. For the summer, the free reading group at this Nolita independent bookstore will read novels exclusively from Israeli writers, with Amos Oz’s To Know a Woman on June 1 and A Woman in Jerusalem, by A. B. Yehoshua, for its July 13 discussion. If Israeli women confuse you, these next two meetings should clear things up. Book club texts are 10 percent off at the store for the rest of the summer. One Monday per month, McNally Jackson, 52 Prince St., betw. Lafayette & Mulberry Sts., 212-274-1160; 7, FREE

Housing Works Bookstore Café
For the civic minded, all the proceeds from the store go toward Housing Works, the anti-AIDS/homelessness organization. On June 3, Dresden Doll Amanda Palmer will appear with Neil Gaiman for one of the store’s author/musician events. The best bet for summer is the Literary Magazine Fair on May 31, with all magazines priced at $2. Housing Works Bookstore Cafe, 126 Crosby St., betw. Houston & Prince Sts., 212-334-3324), www.housingworks.org; times vary, $TBA.

David Sedaris at Strand Bookstore
Bestselling author and NPR/New Yorker contributor David Sedaris will stop by the downtown bookstore to read from his most recent book When You Are Engulfed in Flames, which includes stories about confronting disgusting boils, coping with evil babysitters and traveling across the globe to quit smoking. Sedaris will be signing copies of his book at the event, so bring along your copy (if you have one). June 2, 828 Broadway, at 12th St., 212-473-1452; 5, FREE

Bloomsday on Broadway
For the past 27 years, Symphony Space cofounder Isaiah Sheffer has hosted a marathon staging of scenes from James Joyce’s Ulysses, enlisting a lot of big-name celebrities to bring the story to life. Last year’s performance went on for seven hours, so be prepared for a lot of Joyce. Whatever the length, $25 is a good price for what has become a New York institution. June 16, Symphony Space, 2537 Broadway, betw. 95th & 96th Sts., 212-864-5400; 6 $25

Studs Terkel’s Working: A Graphic Adaptation Panel Discussion
Famed radio broadcaster Studs Turkel wrote Working in 1974, and it has since become a Broadway musical, radio broadcast and—the form that will be under discussion—a graphic novel. A packed panel of graphic novel experts like  Spiderman illustrator Danny Fingeroth will talk about famed comic writer Harvey Pekar’s vision of Terkel’s classic. June 20, KGB Bar, 85 E. 4th St., betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery; 212-505-3360; 7, FREE
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Risky Readings and Sing-Alongs

By Nick Broad

Amanda Stern is curator of The Happy Endings Reading Series, a monthly event held at Joe’s Pub. Writers and musicians come to the stage, but there’s a twist—readers are required to take one public risk and do something they’ve never done before, and musicians have to perform one cover song and try to get the audience to sing along. Stern recently explained how her one-woman production company manages to pull together such big names for an evening of unexpected entertainment. The following transcript has been edited.

You started doing weekly sessions in a Chinatown bar called Happy Endings. Now you’re doing bigger productions in Joe’s Pub. Is this your happy ending, or is it just the beginning? Ideally I’d like this to be the beginning of a much larger cultural program. However, I don’t have a salary, staff, grant money, a sugar daddy or an anonymous benefactor, so I need to figure out a way to get at least one of those things, stat.

Amanda Stern

Some of the upcoming readings this summer include Zadie Smith, Nick Laird, Adam Gopnik and Lisa Randall. How do you get such good names? The most important reason is that I am patient. It’s a courtship. I will wait as long as it takes to book someone whose work I believe in. I spent five months talking to James Salter. David Markson and I have been talking for a year and a half. I’ll wait.

You get authors to do on stage something they’ve never done before. What have been some highlights? Ben Greenman reading aloud his pin code numbers, Ian Chillag getting a volunteer to cut his hair onstage, Andrew Sean Greer swapping outfits onstage with a volunteer from the audience, a random audience member singing opera while Lydia Davis played synthesizer and John Lurie playing harmonica for the first time onstage in 25 years and then almost fainting and falling down the stairs.

Has anything ever gone horribly wrong? When I was trying to quit smoking, a doctor put me on Wellbutrin, but gave me too high a dosage so I had a panic attack on stage, which I described to the audience in great detail as it was happening.

Happy Endings reading series, first Wednesday of the month at Joe’s Pub, 425 Lafayette St., 212-254-1263, $15. Dates and times vary; visit amandastern.com/happyending for more information.

Doug Benson
Doug Benson is a Stoner of the Year winner from High Times, the star of Super High Me and one of the writers/performers of the hit off-Broadway show The Marijuana-Logues. To prepare for his stand-up show, you should, well, I think you get the point.
May 28-31, Caroline’s on Broadway, 1626 Broadway (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100, www.carolines.com, $26.75

Freestyle Love Supreme
From the minds that brought you the Grammy- and Tony Award-winning musical In the Heights comes an improvised blend of music, comedy and freestyle rap.
June 1, July 6, Aug. 3, Comix, 353 W. 14th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-524-2500, www.comixny.com, 9, $20/$25

Monday Evening Stand-Up
Every other Monday, head over to Greenpoint to stuff your face with free candy while you laugh at some new comics. I can’t promise the candy or the jokes will be as good as Laffy Taffy, but it’s worth a gamble. Hosted by Jennifer Dziura of the Williamsburg Spelling Bee.
June 1, 15, 29, July 13, 27, Aug. 10, 24, Pete’s Candy Store, 709 Lorimer St. (betw. Richardson & Frost Sts.), Brooklyn; 7:30, FREE

Sketchfest NYC
Forget watching reruns from when SNL was funny, get over to UCB to see three days of the country’s best sketch comedy. Some highlights include Kevin McDonald (Kids in the Hall), Kristen Schaal (Flight of the Conchords), Chicago’s Steve & Jordan and L.A.’s Summer of Tears.
June 11-13, Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, 307 W. 26th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-366-9176, www.sketchfestnyc.com

Comedy Central Park
If you’re tired from chasing around girls in bikinis on the Great Lawn with a bottle of sunscreen in your hands, laugh it off over at Summer Stage at the third annual stand-up show. This year, they’ve got two insanely energetic comics: Gabriel Iglesias and Pablo Francisco.
June 19, Central Park Summer Stage (at 63rd St.), 212-360-2756, www.summerstage.org, 8, FREE

Channel 101
If you thought there was nothing new on TV in the summer, think again. At every show, Channel 101 presents five prime time shows and new pilot submissions. Show up and vote for your favorite show you want to see again, or the worst show you want cancelled. If only it were that easy on real TV.
July 1 & Aug. 5, 92YTribeca, 200 Hudson St. (at Canal St.), 212-601-1000, ny.channel101.com, 8:30 p.m., $6

All Points West Comedy Tent
Before you cry when My Bloody Valentine leaves the stage because Tool’s up next, laugh it up with the new comedy tent at APW. The Liberty State Park fest expands into comedy with an impressive three-day lineup featuring Arj Barker, Eugene Mirman, Tim & Eric, Michael Showalter, Judah Friedlander, Jim Jeffries, Todd Barry, Janeane Garofalo and CollegeHumor Live.
July 31- Aug. 2, Liberty State Park, Jersey City, N.J., 201-915-3440, www. libertystatepark.org, $89 a day

Kristin Schaal
One of the funniest New Yorkers you still don’t know, Kristin Schaal (Flight of the Conchords and  The Daily Show) has four nights at Caroline’s so you can check her out.
Aug. 6-9, Caroline’s on Broadway, 1626 Broadway (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100, www.carolines.com, $26.75

Del Close Marathon
Cheap beer and 150 shows. Non-stop improv for three days straight. Is there anything better in the world? No. Damn, I just broke an improv rule. UCB’s marathon, celebrating the life of improv pioneer Del Close, is the best improv comedy festival in the world. Expect to see Amy Poehler, Matt Walsh, Ian Roberts, Matt Besser, Horatio Sanz and other comedians from SNL, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, 30 Rock and more.
Aug. 14-16, Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, 307 W. 26th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-366-9176, www.ucbtheatre.com

UG! Comedy Show!
Leave your Law and Order reruns and six-pack of Coors Light (tall) and spend a Tuesday night in Murray Hill at the new UG! Comedy Show.
Every Tuesday, Underground Lounge, 613 2nd Ave. (betw. 33rd and 34th Sts.), 212-683-3000, www.undergroundny.com, FREE

Wrong Side of the Head with Colin Kane
Come on, what else are you doing on a Tuesday night? Get your ass over to Caroline’s, sit up front and get insulted by the baddest comic in the city, Colin Kane.
Every Tuesday, May through June, Caroline’s on Broadway, 1626 Broadway (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100, www.carolines.com, 9:30 p.m., $18

Megawatt at Magnet
Reward yourself for surviving hump day with a cheap improv show in Chelsea. Every week, you’ll get a different show of Magnet regulars from groups such as the Boss, Hello Laser, Junior Varsity, Moxie, Team X, Dynasty, Crush, Phooka, Featherweight, Harlequin and Chet Watkins.
Every Wednesday, Magnet Theater, 254 W. 29th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-244-8824, www.magnettheater.com, 7, 8:30, 10, $5

Shrink
“When you shrink, you come closer together.” I think that works with drinking, too. Every Wednesday, erase the work day with a few $2 PBRs ‘til 8 and stick around for a free stand-up/variety show ‘til 9:30. Hosted by Sharon “Mama” Spell.
Every Wednesday, Otto’s Shrunken Head, 538 E. 14th St. (betw. Aves. A & B), 212-228-2240, www.ottosshrunkenhead.com, 8, FREE

ASSSSCAT 3000
If you wanted to go back to being religious this summer, get over to UCB every Sunday for the long running crazy improv show Asssscat. You’ll get a warm sense of community standing in line for hours to get front-row seats. You’ll get bread and wine (Goldfish from Gristedes and yes, UCB’s got wine). You’ll also get worship, only substitute Horatio Sanz for that long-haired Galilean.
Every Sunday, Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, 307 W. 26th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-366-9176, www.ucbtheatre.com, 7:30, $10, 9:30, FREE

Sunday Night Live
Live from New York it’s Sunday night?! That’s right. Screw Saturday. Go check out some up-and-comers in stand-up every week. You can learn the names of the faces you see on VH1 and Comedy Central. Hosted by Jamie Roberts.
Every Sunday, New York Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St., (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233, www.newyorkcomedyclub.com, 8 p.m., $5/$10

Rodeo’s New Weekly Stand-Up
Manhattan’s popular honky-tonk music joint takes a stab at comedy with a free lineup of stand-ups every week this summer. If the comedy matches the environment, expect some of the best roadkill and redneck jokes the city can offer.
Every Wednesday, Rodeo Bar, 375 3rd Ave. (at 27th St.), 212-683-6500, www.rodeobar.com, 7:30, FREE