So I said to the bully barista, why did you pull the big tough guy act with that man when he was leaving anyway, why don’t you just chill out, and he says, why don’t you make me, so I replied, I will make you, because I’m going to write a complaint about you to the head office. He said, yeah, well how would you like it if I make you leave as well. I said, you have no reason to ask me to leave, and when I write my letter, you will be the one leaving for your big tough guy bully spectacle when there was no need for it.

So what did this big sissy do, he went and called the cops. Twenty minutes later this huge cop turns up and takes me outside, told me to shut up when I asked why he wanted me outside, and then got me to put my hands behind my back and spread my legs while he patted me down. A total humiliation. Over what, trying to put a ****ed up, sissy, bully in his place. Then the female manager comes out and the cop gives her a thing to read to say that I can’t come anywhere near that Starbucks again or I’ll be arrested for trespassing, and I’m just pissing myself laughing at the absurdity of it all.

Star Schmucks more like it.