Starbucks Sucks

Written by admin on . Posted in On Topic OTDT, Opinion and Column.


Guns stink. Children kill children. Police kill innocent people who appear to be brandishing guns.

Hooray for Mayor Bloomberg, who urges our president to start enforcing gun laws. I contribute money to the Brady campaign to end gun violence. Google it.

You put guns in people’s hands, they use them. Is this somehow our Wild West fixation? Europeans know we’re crazy when it comes to guns. Why aren’t Second Amendment gun crazies strict constitutionalists when it comes to amendments guaranteeing rights for women and minorities?

I can’t imagine why people need guns, but frustration, anger and feelings of impotence and powerlessness must be part of the mix. I’m confident that owning a gun and bullets won’t stop this country from adopting Socialist principles, nor will it stop bankers from stealing from the working classes.

Starbucks stinks in more ways than one. Before guns became the issue, my beef with Starbucks had to do with the standardization of coffee houses, which used to be eccentric, fuzzy havens for people who read and played guitars or just listened to music. Now, Starbucks is one more piece of the giant corporate mall.

We’ve all heard by now that 38 states have open-carry laws for guns, and that frustrated people are now swaggering into Starbucks in at least two of those states, openly sporting guns. Some cafes and coffee houses in northern California, such as Peet’s Coffee and Tea and California Pizza Kitchen, have responded to customer complaints and petitions. These sensible and courageous establishments refuse admission to the gun-toting folks.

Not Starbucks.

Permit me an aside: The only stinky smells I’ve come across in Manhattan are occasional wafts from the open back door of Starbucks at West 60th Street, just west of Broadway. The odor is soured milk and old garbage. The only other time I smelled anything this bad was in the waste-strewn alleys between Cairo’s open sewers.

Back to guns.

I say boycott Starbucks until they pass this rule of decorum: “no unconcealed or concealed weapons allowed.” I bet crazy people can’t walk into Starbucks flaunting genitals or even bare feet. The buck (as it were) should stop with guns.

I’m betting it’s scary to confront an “open-carry” zealot. Does Starbucks even ask these misguided folks to show gun permits?

God help us to nullify the Second Amendment. Will gun-owners openly start carrying guns into Chase banks and subways and Whole Foods markets? Please, please support the Brady campaign and prevent gun violence. They’ve delivered thousands of petitions to Starbucks in Seattle. The life you save may be that of someone you love.

My mother’s sister had a huge farm with cornfields, woodlands and cows outside Philadelphia. My uncle and male cousins laughed at my visceral shivers when they loaded shotguns to kill deer. One of my cousins died in his early 20s in a shotgun accident. It was totally unnecessary. Afterward, nobody removed the prickly deerskin that covered the back of the living room sofa, but I never sat there anyway.

Until two years ago, I had a lovely jerrybuilt 18th-
century farmhouse in the middle of 2,000 acres of someone’s farm in Sullivan County. I began thinking of selling my house when the farmer’s sister told me proudly that she’d shot a huge buck in my backyard. “He put up a big fight,” she said, “but I nailed him.” I didn’t ask her if she planned to eat the deer meat. My uncle and aunt never did. 


Susan Braudy is the author and journalist whose last book,
Family Circle: The Boudins and the Aristocracy of the Left, was nominated for a Pulitzer by publisher Alfred Knopf.

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  • Drew

    I agree that people should not be allowed to openly carry firearms, however what is the harm in concealed carry? If people don't know about it, what would be the problem? People who apply for and obtain concealed carry permits are typically law abiding people, if they weren't they would be getting a hold of guns anyways through illegal means. I have carried a gun (concealed) every day now for about 2-3 years now and I have not pulled it out to use it once (except for target practice at a shooting range). I hope I never have to, but if some thug thinks they're going to get the better of me or my loved ones, I'm gonna make them think twice. It's proven that guns prevent crimes, there's a great channel on youtube called “TheArmedCitizen” which regularly shows news reports of people stopping crime with their concealed firearms (it's never vigilantism either) , or just their firearms at home. The number one thing that scares criminals when invading a home, is the possibility that the home owners might be armed. If they know they aren't armed because of foolish gun laws, that takes that fear away and more crime occurs. Police cannot be there to protect you all the time, I have heard one chilling 911 call where a women tried to call police, but by the time they got there, she had already been raped and killed and the punk responsible was long gone. I can bet you just about anything that if she had a gun, she wouldn't have had to suffer that awful fate. Guns can do more good than most people think, if they didn't then why would police carry them? It all depends on the person holding it.

  • Razza

    Only in America, the land of the “brave and the Free”. What a joke.
    I was in a Starbucks tonight in Vegas and a guy was smoking, so the barista told him to stop, but he said let me just order my coffee first, the guy said no it’s company policy, you have to leave the store, so the guy started leaving and then the big tough macho barista comes up behind the guy ordering him out aloud to leave the store, he turns around and says “you can see I’m leaving” the tough guy still says, “Get out then”.

    So I said to the bully barista, why did you pull the big tough guy act with that man when he was leaving anyway, why don’t you just chill out, and he says, why don’t you make me, so I replied, I will make you, because I’m going to write a complaint about you to the head office. He said, yeah, well how would you like it if I make you leave as well. I said, you have no reason to ask me to leave, and when I write my letter, you will be the one leaving for your big tough guy bully spectacle when there was no need for it.

    So what did this big sissy do, he went and called the cops. Twenty minutes later this huge cop turns up and takes me outside, told me to shut up when I asked why he wanted me outside, and then got me to put my hands behind my back and spread my legs while he patted me down. A total humiliation. Over what, trying to put a ****ed up, sissy, bully in his place. Then the female manager comes out and the cop gives her a thing to read to say that I can’t come anywhere near that Starbucks again or I’ll be arrested for trespassing, and I’m just pissing myself laughing at the absurdity of it all.

    Star Schmucks more like it.

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