Scumdogs of the Universe
Batten down the hatches and get out your Star Wars laser blastersGWAR has invaded Brooklyn!
The shock rock band known for elaborate sci-fi film inspired costumes, filthy lyrics and liquid-spewing grotesque stage performances is taking over the MF Gallery in a pathetic attempt to raise dough to support its disgusting crack habit. April 10 through 17, the gallery will exhibit and sell limited edition prints of artwork nefariously designed by the band members of GWAR. You can go to the gallery to check them out, but even better on April 16 and 17, reserve seats to see a free 45-minute variety show happening five times each night. Or if youre too lazy to make it there, watch it live streaming at www.crackathon.tv. This band of infidels is calling it The Crack-A-Thon and theyre not kidding.
My iPhone does weird things, the voice on the other end of the line told me the other day. A likely story. My whole interview with this beast was a tour de force of bullshit. I had awoken Oderus Urungus, GWARs bassist and vocalist, from a long hibernation in his subterranean cave in Antarctica from which he emerged to take the call. The creature masquerades under the human name Dave Brockie and claims to have been born in a Midas muffler factory in that southern shit hole Richmond, Virginia. Chatting the other day, Urungus promised me that viewers will be able to pledge funds via a website since, as he put it, powerful computers illegally drain money from our bank accounts. He confirmed rumors that all monies raised will be used to pay off his crack debt. "My crack debt makes the U.S. federal deficit look like fucking lunch money. If Im going to continue to hook-up on the cook-up then I need to see some cash."
The Crack-A-Thon will raise funds for GWAR to continue spreading its infernal message on live streaming television. In fact, the monies raised will be used to create their own alternative web TV show, an Internet-based entertainment arena. I got the idea of doing a public service station from NAMBLA, since a lot of our fans are gay children, Urungus told me. Itll be like PBS for some fucked-up people. Well always play live shows, but we wont have to play as many grimy gross punk shows at shitholes, he notes.
In the tradition of The Carol Burnett Show or the Jerry Lewis telethon, The Crack-A-Thon will attempt to milk the viewing audience for every penny it can. Oderus will be on a podium interviewing guests who will also play a few live sets and perform skits spewing blood and guts. The brave volunteer performers include Lloyd Kaufman and Toxic Avenger of Troma, Jimmy Gestapo of Murphy's Law, rock n roll loudmouth Andrew WK, Jamey Jasta of Hatebreed and more. And lets not forget shadowy underground performance troupe The F-Minus Art Players, led by the sewer-dwelling playwright Anton Reemcobb, which is slated to perform some of its shockingly neo-dada-esque theater.
So listen, motherfuckers: show up, listen in and cough up your money so these horrendous monsters can continue to wreak havoc on the universe. Or we will all die in the apocalypse. At least thats what Orungus told me.
>GWARs Crack-A-Thon
April 10-17, [MF Gallery], 213 Bond St. (betw. Butler & Baltic Sts.), Brooklyn, 917-446-8681; $10 and up.