A President's Day Booze-List

Written by Noah Wunsch on . Posted in Arts & Film, Music, NY Press Exclusive.


So it’s President’s Day. You’re off from work, and really that’s all we’re celebrating. Who was the 27th president? Yeah. That’s what I thought. On this high holy holiday we rejoice that that our 9-5 is more of a 12-9. That happy hour is the minute we set foot into a bar. That the American flag seems a bit brighter today (would somebody turn it down?). Hehe. Americans, I salute you. And in your tributary I give you an All American Presidents Day Boozelist.

“America, Fuck Yeah,” by Team America: You were expecting something else? This captures everything you’ll need in a patriotic drinking song. Easy lyrics that are fun to yell out whether they’re slurred or, uh, really slurred.
Serve with: Gotta assume you’ll be drinkin’ a Bud to this little ditty.

“Born in the U.S.A.,” by Bruce Springsteen: The fact is Springsteen sounds drunker than any double downer.  The video links to a live performance of Springsteen playing in Paris, because we’re better than they are, because we tuck our t-shirts into our jeans.
Serve with: Jersey native shaken, with a side of star spangled. Oooo that’s good. But seriously. Jager.

“Pink Houses,” by John Cougar Mellencamp: Ain’t that America? It is. It is indeed. This song goes out to the ladies, cause nothing revs up a Cougar like a little Mellencamp.
Serve With: Vodka, however she likes it.

“All That She Wants,” by Ace of Base: Because that drunk dude by the jukebox thought everyone would freak out over it. He was wrong. “Hey! Hey! Hey! Remember this song, eh? Eh? All that she needs is another maybe.” Would somebody kick him the hell outta here?
Serve With: Pickle back.


“Surfin’ USA,” by The Beach Boys: Need to get the mood back on track fast, so a little California lovin’ should soothe the soul.
Serve with: Ask the bartender for a Mai Tai. If he gives you a sideways look, you’re in the wrong kinda bar.


“The American Way,” by Hank Williams Jr.: Let’s slow things down a little. Maybe square dance up a bit. Put your arms around the friend-o next to you, white collar or blue collar, and jib your feet to the groove of the banjo.
Serve with: Crack a Pabst. It’s the American way.

“Greetings (This Is Uncle Sam),” by The Monitors: Because propaganda songs were so much better in the 60’s. Ask Alice, that lady co-worker you’ve had your eye on, for a nice slow dance by the pool table.
Serve with: 5$ glass of merlot.

“Where Is the Love?” by Black Eyed Peas: It’s the weepy time of the day. Start dealing with the things that are going wrong in the country and knock back your choice of the bitter nectar.

“It Wasn’t Me,” by Shaggy: Dude, did we not kick that drunk guy out?! What the hell! “But she caught me in the other area place thingy.”

“Boy Named Sue,” by Johnny Cash: By this time it’s looking like you’re probably gonna get into a fight with this guy and what’s more American than that?
Serve with: Grab a little Wild Turkey and put on the most under rated fight song of all time. Happy President’s Day.

Tags: , , ,

Trackback from your site.

..