As someone lying to you about being born on February 29, to make this post seem more credible and contextually on point, let me tell you: It’s hard being a leap year baby! It happens once every four years, and people are all like, “Wait, there was’n’ a February 29th last year?” No. There wasn’t. I’m still technically five years old. Get with the program. Fun fact though: if you lived to be 1,460 years old, you’d actually be 1,461 years old, because you’d have lived through 365 leap years. KNEE SLAPPER!
“Don’t You Forget About Me,” by Simple Minds: It’s not that hard you guys, It’s once every four years. Chart this. Elections. Olympics. Leap year’s are so much more momentous than any of those things. Fact.
“Ruined in a Day,” by New Order: This song is all about how we need to grow up. Well thanks New Order. I would if I could.
“TOYS R US KID,” by the 80’s: Total upside to being a leap year baby. Never have to worry about getting stupid boring adult gifts, like leather desk laminates. My birthday parties are like a Michael Bay produced KB Toys.
“Early Bird,” by Shirley Temple: When Im an old fart, I’m going to be the youngest, sexiest old fart at the early bird special. What up Mildred?
“Leap Year,” by Azure Ray: Self explanatory… no?
“Animal Crackers In My Soup,” by Shirley Temple: Sorry, just washing the bad taste of Azure Ray out of our mouths. Shirley Temple is the jam. I had such a crush on her when I was four… Four years ago.
“Four Years Too Late,” by Killing The Dream: This song is about how someone got locked up in prison for four years so their lover killed themselves…
KNEE SLAPPER! Haha, man, if leap years were prison sentences, right? HA!
“New York,” by The Sex Pistols: “Haven’t seen you in four years.” Change your brain. Etc. Things are getting dark man .This might be my last leap year.
“March On,” by Good Charlotte: Yeah you’d like that Joel Madden, wouldn’t you? Just skip the 29th, and go straight on into March. I’’m not going to say that I’m coming for you and your family, because this article is getting published but… Everything I just said except “I’m not going to say,” kapisch?
“Went to the Market,” Bill Bojangles Robinson: Word. Happy birthday.
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