Give ‘Em Hell, Mr. Vonnegut

Written by Avery Andon on . Posted in Opinion and Column, Posts

I first met Kurt Vonnegut in May of 2005. I had been dating his youngest daughter, Lily, for several months, and she seemed eager to introduce me to her parents. So, after some deliberation at the Vonnegut’s Eastside townhouse, we decided on Serafina’s Madison Avenue location. Mr. Vonnegut expressed his willingness to troop the five [&hellip
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Rental Dementia: How Long You Lived Here?

Written by Brian Carter on . Posted in Opinion and Column, Posts

Along West 187th Street there used to be a tiny closet-sized kitchen where you could buy a whole roasted chicken through a small storefront window. The chicken window closed to make room for the hip new restaurant. It was meant to be “downtown uptown,” with its lounge-style lighting, red velvet couches and imported world music. [&hellip
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Rental Dementia: Invasive Applications

Written by Brian Carter on . Posted in Opinion and Column, Posts

Certain assumptions can be helpful in saving time, so I skipped the formality of verifying his income. Who would have guessed a plastic surgeon would have any trouble qualifying for a $3,000-a-month rental? A good, thorough agent pre-qualifies every potential client, making certain that they have the income and, more importantly, can prove it on [&hellip
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Rental Dementia: The Last One Bedroom in Dumbo

Written by Brian Carter on . Posted in Opinion and Column, Posts

New construction condos were once again flying into contract, and if I didn’t get my shit together, another frothy wave of commission checks would pass, while I splashed around in the flat bath water of the rental market. I was still reconfiguring a New Years resolution when the phones returned to ringing and the emails [&hellip
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Rental Dementia: A Broker in Waiting

Written by Brian Carter on . Posted in Opinion and Column, Posts

I’m drowning in complaints. My fellow rental agents have gotten it into their thick and neurotic skulls that I’m the resident shrink, the guy to go to when you need to unload the latest litany of crimes perpetrated by those ruthlessly insensitive clients. Whether they’ve been stood up, laid out, flat out insulted or backstabbed, [&hellip
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