Mugger: Joba Rules
Its the last day of August as this column is written and my, what a smorgasbord of recent events to consider.
Lets dispense with this Larry Craig bit of nastiness at the outset. Of course the GOP moral crusader is a hypocrite, snarling about gays when hes allegedly soliciting some sort of satisfaction in a Minneapolis bathroom stall. How quaint: Maybe the Idaho senator had just rented Prick Up Your Ears and was trying out for the part of Joe Orton. You got the time, Senator? And of course Republican leaders booted Craig out of Washington as fast as possible. And who can blame them?
After all, last years tumultuous midterm elections were largely decided on September 29, when word leaked out about Rep. Mark Foleys unsavory emails and come-ons to male Congressional pages. (Not that such dalliances harmed the late Gerry Studds career, but then he was a Democrat from Massachusetts.) After the Democrats took power last November, the bleat bleat bleat from the mediamainstream, netroots, elite, downscalewas that Iraq was the last straw for American voters, which, while not entirely incorrect, was certainly exaggerated. It was Foleys indiscretions, known but ignored by a complacent GOP leadership, that repulsed voters, many of whom have children and are scared silly over Internet predators. Absent the Foley story, which was gleefully laid out in newspapers for days on end, its likely that at least the Senate wouldve remained under Republican control.
So the timing of Sen. Craigs arrest was fortunate for Rudy, Mitt and Fred, since by Christmas the toilet episode will be long forgotten and supplanted by numerous other examples of tawdry Beltway behavior. I do think that Mitt Romneys a real scumbag for immediately calling Craig, whod endorsed the former governor disgusting instead of being a gentleman and issuing a benign statement saying he was thinking (or praying, given Mitts shtick) of the Senators family and what a difficult time it was for him.
Oh, and then theres The New York Times laughing out loud at this latest Republican predicament, running an August 31 editorial (Disowning Senator Craig) that was just as repulsive as many people believe public sex, of any kind, is. To the extent Senator Craig, a stalwart in the family values caucus, might morph into a blatant hypocrite before the voters eyes, the writer preached, he reflects on the partys record in demonizing homosexuality. The rush to cast him out betrays the partys intolerance, which is on display for the public in all of its ugliness.
I appreciated the diligence of Washington Post columnist Ruth Marcus, on the same day, in digging up a Times chestnut from 1964, after LBJ aide Walter Jenkins was tossed in the gutter after the fuzz busted him in a D.C. john for having Brokeback sex. The Times of that eraand remember this is the same paper that endorsed Republican incumbent Kenneth Keating over Bobby Kennedy in that years senate racesniffed that [T]here can be no place on the White House staff or in the upper echelons of government for a person of markedly deviant behavior.
Of far more interest, at least to baseball fans in the Northeast (and really, does any other region in the country matter when it comes to this sport?), was the emergence of the Yankees Joba Chamberlain as the new Bob Gibson. Im not referring to the youngsters astonishing debut in the past few weeksand if GM Brian Cashman is really considering Joba as starter next year instead of Mariano Riveras 2009 replacement, maybe he needs to get thee to a Penn Station restroom prontobut rather the two head-buzzing pitches he fired at the Red Soxs Kevin Youkilis at the conclusion of the Bombers sweep of Boston last Thursday.
Joba, on cue, said that the two consecutive 98 M.P.H. fastballs just got away from himIm sorry that I slipped, but there was no intent there I wouldnt ever want to do anything to disrespect [the] game.but he mustve been trying to suppress a grin. This kid, barely out of his teens, has already created such as sensation that, like Ichiro, hell be known only by his first name, was sending a message to his teammates and sold-out Stadium crowd. Its not much different, really, from when then-minor leaguer Jonathan Papelbon plunked a batter in a spring training game two years ago and instantly shot up on the Boston teams radar. Im not a proponent of pitchers who intentionally try to bean hitters, but Major League Baseball has become so namby-pamby about hit batsmen that given a tense situation if, say Carlos Zambrano grazes the uniform of a Milwaukee Brewer hes liable to be tossed by the ump.
Roger Clemens has plenty of issues, including his callous disregard for Mike Piazza in 2000 after hitting the Mets catcher in the head, but in general he plays the game right. After Daisuke Matsuzaka hit Alex Rodriguez in the first game of the series, the next night Clemens didnt waste any time in retaliating against possible rookie of the year Dustin Pedroia. Bostons second baseman trotted to first, with no glare at the mound, and got on with the game.
As a Sox fan, I never believed the Yanks would go away, even during the nadir of their early season when Damon, Abreu, Cano and even Rivera looked so miserable. The Yanks are going to the playoffs, and, given history that cant be ignored04 Sox comeback notwithstandingprobably by virtue of winning the A.L. East. Maybe the Bosox will win the division, maybe theyll walk off with the wild card, but if the Yanks can get past the Angels, then Joba will be the man of October.
Supporters gush about John Edwards taking on the persona of Bobby Kennedy in the mid-1960s in his current campaign, as the North Carolina phony walks picket lines, makes New Orleans his third home (after Iowa), calls for Americans to give up their SUVs and promises to tax the stuffing out of people who, like him, belong to the more advantaged of his Two Americas. But Edwards is no throwback to the politics of anger and compassionhes just a pissed-off politician who knows that all the consultants and trial-lawyer contributions cant put a dent into the campaigns of Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.
Jobas the retro man of the moment, unmasking a guy like Edwards for the pretender that he is.