MOVIE REVIEW: The Conspiracy to Get You to Care About Bland 'X-Files'

An early scene in X-Files: I Want To Believe, Chris Carter’s belated follow-up visit to Fox’s cult show, signals a statement of defeat. Characteristically deadpan Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) and meekly distant Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) revisit their old stomping grounds at the FBI to advise on an apparent supernatural case, culling from their backgrounds as former agents for the government’s least-discussed division. But those were different times, and things have changed: They pause at the door to contemplate the adjacent photographs. Cut to a close-up of George W. Bush, and cue the classic eerie whistle that X-Files fans consider their theme song. In the frame across from Dubya, J. Edgar Hoover projects a blank stare. A whispery echo blows through the soundtrack; Mulder and Scully stare back. For the first time in the history of these characters, they look legitimately frightened.

The glance of confusion they share is the only inspired scene in this dispiritingly subpar sci-fi romp. That fleeting vignette delves into the original appeal of the series and, consequently, dates it. A full decade has passed since the last big-screen X-Files endeavor, which pitted the agents against a mysterious alien force aided by the foggy antagonists at FEMA, properly identified as America’s “secret government.” As the twisted nature of FEMA is no longer a secret to the nation, the new threats to American security are hidden in plain sight.

Giving the scathing insight of this fleeting moment, it’s a shame that Carter penned such a bland story to go with it. As if distracted by the real problems of modern times, the writer-director-creator crafts virtually incoherent intrigue about corrupt foreign scientists looking to experiment on human bodies and tacks on an unnecessary psychic subplot. He has made a distended mediocre episode devoid of cogent storytelling when he should have made a movie.

The best entries in the series, which ran from 1993 to 2000, were delightfully transparent pulp diversions, exploring the innate thrill of indulging in conspiracy theories. Carter showed that the country’s greatest fantasies—from Roswell to Bigfoot—were legitimate aspects of the national mind-set. “The truth is out there” was a less a tagline than an expression of hope, a desire to understand the secrets of our fragile existence. Mulder and Scully’s polarized outlooks (he was the believer, she the skeptic) helped provide an underlying legitimacy to the ridiculous supernatural conceits. “I want to believe,” then, represents a step back. It’s whiny and lacking in conviction, much like the sorry excuse for a screenplay. Scully’s struggles with her Christian faith suggest a certain intelligence to Carter’s initial concept, but the sloppy conflict and disconnected ideas never bring her struggle into the arena of magic realism that gave the X-Files its raison d’etre.

It appears that Carter’s often smartly devised fanboy scenarios masked his inability to create authentic human drama. He makes a bold leap here by placing a lot of focus on Mulder and Scully’s post-X-Files romantic entanglement. Now we know why the duo’s unspoken sexual tension was never fully realized on the show. Flopping around in bed together and locking lips as the camera lavishly swirls around them, Duchovny and Anderson generate zero chemistry, revealing their inability to collectively radiate a sense of believable passion or any other human emotions. Mulder and Scully should only function as investigative wunderkinds. Take that away, and you’re left with bad acting.

X-Files: I Want to Believe is not a good movie, but its flaws are revealing. Carter’s intention of injecting topicality into the movie only testifies to his desperation. The randomly psychic Father Joe (Billy Connolly, hilarious in spite of himself), whose inexplicable ability helps the FBI track down a missing agent, has a pedophilic history. Meanwhile, Scully tries to save a child patient by arguing in favor of stem-cell research. These are important issues worthy of contemporary discussion; but, by situating them in the X-Files universe, I Want to Believe places them on an even playing field with flying saucers. In the end, the only sincere belief is that delusions prevail.