Mets Bring Back Alou

Written by Jason Singer on . Posted in Posts, Sports.

The New York Mets exercised their option on ageless outfielder
Moises Alou yesterday, ensuring the 172-year-old slugger will rejoin the Kings
of Queens in 2008. Alou will make $7.5 million, although that figure doesn’t
include the large doses of Ginkgo biloba and Viagra that will be necessary to
keep Alou functional and happy at his advanced aged.

The Dominican slugger only played in 87 games last year, but
he was New York’s
most productive hitter while in the lineup. He batted an incredible .341 with
13 home runs, 49 RBIs and just 30 strikeouts in 328 at-bats. He also strung
together a 30-game hitting streak in August and September, the longest by any New York player since a
guy named Joe DiMaggio of the Yankees set the record with 56 games in 1941. Maybe
you’ve heard of him.

Alou could simply have retired to a nursing home, but after the
Mets’ historic collapse that was only surpassed throughout history by the Fall of the
Roman Empire
, Alou stated that the Mets had “unfinished business.” “I
really haven’t gotten over [it] yet,” said Alou, a six-time All-Star. Neither have
we, Moises. Neither have we.