Many people write to me and ask: “How can I perserve the passion. You know—keep it hot?”
Last week I offered 10 tips for women. This week, it’s the men’s turn.
1) Like I always say, “Men cuddle to fuck, and women fuck to cuddle”. If you remember this, then you will understand women a little better. They enjoy kissing, hugging and they need you to listen to them. If you want hot sex, you have to handle them right. Most women don’t want to just rush to the sex part; they require a lot of foreplay. This means plenty of kissing and fondling and sweet talk. If you are too impatient for this, then wank before you meet up with her to take the edge off.
2) Approach with confidence: If you want your girl to do something for you in bed, ask or tell her with confidence. Example: “Um, Honey, would you please lick my ass? I have always wanted to try this”. Her answer would surely be “Excuse me? Lick your own ass!” Your woman is probably naughtier than you know about, she just needs you to bring it out of her and that won’t happen if you act wimpy. However, suggest it in a confident tone, like this “It would make me so fucking horney if you licked my (clean) ass” then it would go over with a bang. Try it and see if you don’t believe me. Make sure you throw in compliments to keep her confidence up too “You look so sexy when you lick my ass babe!” You get the picture.
3) Distance. Like I said to the women, it’s not good to see each other every day, or have sex too often. That’s what your hands are for. If you fuck her too often, it may get boring, better to wait until you are both starving for each other, then it will feel amazing. If you are extremely horney and can’t wait, then have telephone sex with her and wank.
4) Foot massage. YES, this is how foreplay for women should start. If you rub a woman’s feet for a good 20 minutes, it will relax her and make her want to return the pleasure. It takes women a long time to “shut off” their daily stress, and stop worrying about bills, how she looks, house cleaning, etc. During a foot massage, she will have time to shut off and just enjoy the physical act. This really works, try it. Hell, I would date a guy just if he insisted on rubbing my feet every time we met up. It’s the best.
5) Oral sex; like Lil’ Kim sings: “If you ain’t lickin’ it, you ain’t stickin’ it.” Women want oral sex too. They like it just as much as you guys do. If you do it right, and she cums, then you will have amazing sex after. If you are short changed in the cock department, as in you have a tiny prick or you cum too fast, then you must learn to be a pussy eating pro.
6) Romance. Bring her flowers, or write her a love note. Take her to dinner and tell her how beautiful she looks. Latin men are so successful at getting laid because they understand what women want. They throw away any pride and just tell the woman how incredible she is, how nice she smells, how good she tastes. Women love romantic movies and songs, because they yearn to be loved, they want to be adored like the chick in the film. Perhaps you find this corny or old fashioned or too much work, but it works.
7) Cook for her, or help around the house. It’s no wonder during a relationship that the woman loses her sex drive if she has to be your maid. After she has cooked, cleaned and all of that other shit around the house, it’s almost impossible to instantly turn her into a sexy diva. But if you help out, either cooking for her or doing some house work, she will feel grateful and want to reward you with some hot sex; really, it works. If the woman has to do all this shit on her own, she will grow to resent the man and punish him by withholding pussy—and even more so when kids are involved.
8) Explain to her that sometimes you just want a quickie. Women don’t orgasm as fast as men do, so they don’t need quickies like men do (some want a quickie, true, but I’m talking about need). So, if you want a quickie, the woman could feel used and be sad. But if you explain that sometimes you just need a quickie, and you want it to be with her, and not your hand or anyone else, she should go along with this AS LONG as you alternate quickies with long sex sessions. No woman should tolerate just quickies, but if you rotate, one night long love making then one night a hot quickie, in the shower or car for example, everything should go fine.
9) Trips. If you are in a steady relationship, you should try to go away once in a while to liven things up. Go camping, or if you can’t leave the town, rent a room and meet there, like you are having an affair. Just go away together to “leave it all behind” so she can stop stressing and let loose.
10) Role playing. Most women are too shy to mention such crazy ideas-but if you, the guy, mention “lets pretend we are strangers” or “I am the sick patient, you are my nurse,” she might go along with it, but most chicks, not all, are too afraid to whip up a fantasy because they think you might think they are too dirty or laugh at the idea. Act out a scene from a movie like in 9 1/2 weeks, you get my drift.