It’s been an exhausting couple of weeks. You were evacuated. You lost power – in all senses of the word – for so long that you debated eating your pumpkin-scented candle and only source of light or heat. You saw cars floating by and started imagining yourself with the Waterworld-inspired cornrows of Spring Break 1996. You never wanted to go back there. Ever.
And then at last the sun came out, the water receded, electricity was restored, and, if you were lucky, not too much damage was done. But then it was time to vote! You saw Facebook friends battling Facebook friends, partisan on-lines being drawn. It got ugly.
Now your fingers are tired and you have a hollow feeling inside that even the largest Obama-shaped-pancake-face won’t fill.
How to post in a post-Hurricane Election world.
- Don’t rush it.
- The right tweet/photo/status will present itself in time, but you can’t force it.
- Put your filter back on because the rapid fire sharing of news and experiences that may have made you a Hurricane Sandy star will not do the same moving forward.
- Imagine, for example, if you treated the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday with the same level of urgency and importance: “The turkey JUST hit the table, but the mashed potatoes aren’t ready, and we’re all out of serving spoons. #DIDSOMEONEFORGETTHECRANBERRYSAUCE?”
- Nobody wants to see, or read, that.
- Instead, take a few breaths. Go ahead and eat your turkey. Enjoy it.
- Take a photo if you must, but – like the bird itself, or a freshly baked pie – let it sit for a bit before posting. Otherwise, if you cut it too soon, all those delicious juices and glorious pie gooeyness will spill out into the dish and be lost forever.
- Nobody wants a hollow, goo-less liquid mess of a pie for a Facebook friend. And nobody wants to follow your dry turkey ass on Twitter. Regain your composure. Let it cool, and chew carefully so you don’t bite your tongue.
- Now, as for the election and those of you who voted on the “losing” side, do a few angry push ups and let it go.
- Hell, “Like” some cute pictures of Bo already and be the bigger (wo)man.
- If you start to swell up with the desire to post an angry retaliation comment, try and look on the bright side – at least now Mitt Romney can finally blink.
- As for Sandy, if you were in the blasé bunch posting pictures of yourselves outside chugging beers in Battery Park until Sandy o’clock, tweeting “Hurricane Blackout here I – ” until you lost power and ate nothing but your unrefrigerated words for the next five days, now would be a good time to start posting some links to Red Cross relief efforts.
- Make amends with the big guys (at the weather station) before the next nor’easter rolls in.
- The hidden benefit of taking some time is that you may even give the illusion, whether it’s true or not, that you do in fact have a life.
- So, go for a walk or something. Read anything that doesn’t require charging, downloading, or sharing. If you do feel the need to share, do it in person. You’ll be amazed at how quickly – or alarmingly slowly – live human interaction comes back to you.
- Whatever you do, do not post about that empty feeling in the post-Hurricane Election social media lull. That is, unless you’re under the age of fifteen – in that case, convince your parents to take that Thanksgiving Caribbean Cruise, get yourself some cornrows, and start posting!
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