Knicks Preseason Update
The New York Knicks newest acquisition, Zach Randolph, is a changed man. The 6-foot-9 forward, who has a history of [punching teammates in the face] (thats not a typo, this actually happened), played nicely with his new Knicks cohorts on Monday, taking time away from his busy schedule of [assaulting and sodomizing strippers](http://www.oregonlive.com/pdfs/blazers/zach_memo092006.pdf) (allegedly) to lead New York to a [101-92 victory](http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/boxscore?gameId=271008020) over Philadelphia in their preseason opener.
Randolph joined his partner in crime, head coach Isiah Thomas, for the win, something Thomas needed badly after [losing his sexual harassment case] against Anucha Browne Sanders last week. Randolph poured in 17 points on 7-of-10 shooting, and forward David Lee, who broke the organizations pattern by not committing any crimes this offseason, led the team with 18 points.
In non-game news, center Eddy Curry, who was diagnosed with a labrum tear in his sore, right shoulder, will [not need surgery]. The injury has two sides: It sucks, because hes one of New Yorks few low-post scoring threats and they need him healthy to win. But on the bright side, he probably cant shoot a gun because of the pain, so at least we know he wont get arrested for that particular crime. As for any type of sexual assault crimes, well, lets just hope he doesnt learn any tricks from his coach and teammates.