Hos, Hags and Skanks, Oh My!

this headline-making, cyber-turned-street feud between some model and a blogger is the latest in how people in new york waste their time. we live in the city that never sleeps, remember? there is something to do and somewhere to go every second-even if it's simply to central park to hang out on the grass. yet talkin' smack over the internet, then having the scorned party track down the offender, seems to be how some of our denizens choose to while away their hours.

if you've had better things to do than follow this story, here's the gist: blogger heard that model talked about the blogger to blogger's boyfriend. back in the day-at least in the bronx, where i grew up-you'd find the rumor monger and say, "hey you, myob." in the 21st-century way of handling confrontation, though, the logical next step is to air grievances online. (btw: anonymously equals cowardly, in my book.) the model went to court to get the name of her cyber bully. the model then sued the blogger but has since decided to forgive. the blogger, as of this writing, is keeping quiet, yet contemplating a lawsuit of her own against google for divulging her identity. by the time you read this, both the model and blogger could each have deals for their own reality television shows.

silly? even childish, perhaps? indeed. unfortunately, i can remember-long ago and far away, thank goodness-being quite the engager of confrontation and grudge-holder myself. up until about a decade ago, i could still work myself up into a frothy lather telling the story of how, in 2nd grade, maureen casey ate the chocolate half of my black and white cookie during snack. but then i decided to grow up.

when i think of all the time i wasted thinking, caring, worrying and generally renting space in my head to other people's stories, dramas and doings, i could cry for the lost minutes, hours and days.

at some point, i decided to look back at my life and remember the good-and there was a lot to remember, more than i thought, in fact. i could see it because i pushed aside all the ridiculous "who didn't let whom sit at the lunch table" nonsense. i realized that anyone who ever said or did anything to me, well, i guarantee you i said or did something of equal offensiveness to them. it was time to call it even and move on.

my mind no longer clouded with resentments of youthful indiscretions, i felt lucky to have known so many good people. i found most of them on facebook, and i am happy to have them back, even if it's just via cyberspace. except for one old friend. after trying to track him down, one of the people from my past broke the news that this friend had passed away. all i have now is pictures of us in high school during our poe park days and regrets that we didn't keep in touch, or weren't nicer to each other when we were in touch.

i guess that's why when i see stories like "model vs. blogger," i am drained just from reading the headline. life is long, but sometimes the time we have with people is short. do you really want to spend it name calling, going to court and suing?

seriously, we live in nyc. you can find something better to do. -- lorraine duffy merkl's debut novel, fat chick, will be published in september by the vineyard press.