Grand Suckage

Written by Jason Singer on . Posted in Posts, Sports.

If the New York Yankees hoped to celebrate Phil Rizzuto’s memory with their performance last night, then they’re awfully shitty at throwing parties. New York starter Jeff Kar-stinks, I mean Karstens, gave up five runs in a putrid three innings of work, Aubrey Huff hit a grand slam for the Baltimore Orioles and the Yankees were embarrassed in their own ballpark, getting thrashed by the O’s 12-0.

Karstens, filling in for Roger Clemens after the Rocket was suspended for five games last week, labored through three frames, surrendering five runs on five hits and four walks before giving way to recent call-up Jim Brower. Incredibly, Bower topped Karstens ineptitude, allowing six runs (four earned) in just two innings. Meanwhile, Baltimore starter Daniel Cabrera cooled off the scorching New York lineup, holding the Bronx Bombers to just two hits in 6.2 innings of work. Robinson Cano had an especially tough night, posting a 0-for-4 from the plate and committing an error that led to two Oriole runs. Rizzuto would have rolled over in his grave if he’d been buried already.