How unimaginably stupid are the New York Giants’ football opponents this weekend? The G-Men will play the Miami Dolphins in London on Sunday and Dolphins linebacker Channing Crowder—one of the team’s best players—didn’t even know they spoke English in London; he didn’t know they spoke English in England. Here’s him elaborating on that subject:
“I couldn’t find London on a map if they didn’t have the names of the countries,” he said. “I swear to God. I don’t know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I learned that. I know [Washington Redskins linebacker] London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That’s the closest thing I know to London. He’s black, so I’m sure he’s not from London. I’m sure that’s a coincidental name.”
It gets worst. First off, he has a college degree from the University of Florida. How is that even possible? Secondly, and this may shock some of you, but they actually do have black people in London. And not only do they have black people, but one of Crowder’s black teammates, Marvin Allen, is from London! Wow. When informed of this, here’s what Crowder had to say:
“He’s from London?” he asked. “I knew he was from over there because he talks funny. I was surprised [when we met] because—I don’t want to say he didn’t look the part because that’s a stereotype—but he didn’t look the part. I heard him talk, and I thought he had a recorder and was just mouthing.”
Seriously, you couldn’t make this shit up.