Some people are more prepared for the future than others. We received a press release on Friday from a group of people hoping to prepare NYC to become the future capital of the world, 100 years from now.
A quick scan of the press release and a look at the website would make even the least skeptical among us wary of a possible hoax. Fake press releases are, believe it or not, as common as the subway is smelly for altweekly editors. But this one was good enough, slightly convincing even, to encourage us to “look into it.”
The nebulous group that appears to be organizing online thus far is trying to rally international support to make the Central Park Reservoir the future headquarters of the world. Apparently, the location of this future HQ is a virtual point of contention, as others wish to focus efforts on making Tiananmen Square the choice locale.
Here’s a blurb from the press release:
“NYCtrl.com is a result of collaborative work of people from around the world. It promotes the idea of gradual converting the site of the decommissioned Central Park Reservoir into the official hub of future Earth Federation, a mega-structure called The Centrál (a.k.a. CTRL).”
The group CTRL argues that the reservoir can and should be converted into a kind of fort or castle from where the new world government would lead. “We can claim this place as a site for the Biggest, the Tallest, the most Elegant and Innovative Structure in the history of our civilization.”
They are accepting design ideas for the structure of the building. The site recommends you “study chambers, atrium cafeterias, conference gyms, information escalators, etc. … Anything you think will make the major planet landmark unlike anything else.” If you don’t have any style ideas, they are also accepting quotes about why NYC is the best place for a world headquarters, and, of course, money.
The future of this planet 100 years from now is pretty interesting. So, we decided to call up the number listed on the press release and get some more information. The man who called me back was only “Max,” and he refused several times to give me his last name or where he was from. So, I threw him on speakerphone and coworkers took turns discerning his thick accent. We couldn’t come to a consensus.
“So, how many of you are there?” I asked.
“It’s about 17 guys, I’m one of them. They asked me to write this press release,” said Max.
Max said he joined “this” last March. Asked what the group’s future plans were, he replied, “We’re just a club. We just discuss things. It’s nothing. We just made a web site.”
“So why did you send us a press release?”
“In case you got an idea for an article.”
“OK, so what are your hopes for the future?”
“We don’t know what our hopes are for the future.”
“Is there someone else I should talk to then?”
“No, you talk to me. I’m the one to talk to.”
I’d had enough of going around in circles. So I excused myself from the conversation and hung up.
So much for the future of NYC.