For Frankel, Life Restarts After 50

by renee beyda

in response to the red swastikas defacing their florida home in the early 1950s, bruce frankel's mother purchased a load of lumber and erected a 5-foot menorah on their front lawn. then she painted it bright gold. anita frankel raised her children to feel that they could rise up to challenges.

"my mother's mantra was, 'you can be anything you wish,'" frankel said.

now 60 and living on the upper west side, he is carrying that message to others with his new book, what should i do with the rest of my life? (penguin group, 2010).

the book features individuals who, after living half a century, remade themselves and achieved noteworthy success and fulfillment.

"these are people who live their lives forward," frankel said. "they believe that they have the opportunity to make some statement about their lives. it is not about age for them. it is about what they have not yet done."

frankel's mother, a vibrant woman who worked until 82, was one source of inspiration. after she underwent a quadruple bypass at 84, frankel, well-versed in the neuroscience of aging, encouraged her to find something to engage her and keep her in good cognitive health. to frankel's delight, his mother enrolled in a painting class and soon surpassed the artistic abilities of her youth. as she excelled and even received commissions for her work, she relished hearing the stories her son was gathering for his book.

one of those stories was from margie stoll, who ran her first official race at 60, and then went on to win countless medals. next is harry bernstein, who, after suffering decades of literary rejection, published a well-received memoir at 97. he is now 99 and working on another. loretta thayer, at 70, achieved her dream of opening a community diner. robert ladeluca, a man frankel calls a "doctor of substance," enrolled in graduate school in his fifties and became a full-time therapist at 72.

frankel refers to the subjects in his book lovingly, as if he is speaking of an aunt or uncle. he notes that each achiever had a vision of their true self-actualization, and most had a desire to help others. another important factor is that their early efforts were affirmed, and this feedback created an empowering cycle. frankel also points out that most of the successful subjects in his book eat little red meat and are physically active, running, doing yoga and dancing.

frankel ascribes to the philosophy of holocaust survivor viktor frankl (no relation), who states that during the war, those who held on to a vision of the future were the most likely to withstand hardship and survive.

"there is no reason people should not be ambitious for their lives," frankel said. "too often, people are persuaded that they are too old to do something. you meet these folks every day. it is a part of our culture. but we know that it is not age that is a barrier, but the willingness to begin something."

frankel has his own tale of rebirth. at 42, he was diagnosed with a blood-born cancer. when he realized that radiation treatments would have to be scheduled during some of?the most cherished times of his day, he knew that he had to quit his job as a national news reporter at usa today. after freelancing for a while, he became a senior writer at people magazine. but he realized that he was once again allowing himself to be consumed by work.

on his 53rd birthday, frankel had a heart attack. this event jolted him to make some life changes. he was aiming for healthier and happier. substituting containers of häagen-dazs with a diet of veggies, he lost 24 pounds, and following a dream of his since he was 20, he enrolled in sarah lawrence college?in 2003 to pursue a mfa in poetry.

among his other accomplishments are co-writing life: world war ii ? history's greatest conflict in pictures (2001), a new york times bestseller, and being the proud father of three sons-a musician, a chef and a high school sophomore.

frankel is separated, has a girlfriend, exercises religiously and stays in contact with his mother at least five times a week.

when asked what he sent his mom for mother's day, frankel said, "some flowers, a card, but really, the best gift i ever gave her was this book."