The Rocket won his 350th game last night with a 5-1 victory over the Minnesota Twins, but he still couldn’t launch the Yankees any closer to the first-place Red Sox or second-place Blue Jays. In fact, despite the win, the Bronx Bombers spiraled farther down into the abyss of 2007. Alex Rodriguez, who for the second straight day made headlines for something other than his play, left the game in the sixth inning after straining his left hamstring while trying to beat out a double play. And although A-Rod generally attracts more outrage than O.J. Simpson’s book ideas, let’s be honest: without him, the Yankees would be in last place this season, instead of approaching last place.
Just to recap recent happenings: the Yankees have lost nine out of their last 12 games. They’re 11 games behind the first-place Sox. A-Rod’s wife is publicly telling New Yorkers and the New York Post, “Fuck you.” Pitcher Scott Proctor is burning his equipment on the field. And Jason Giambi is still being detained by George Mitchell at an undisclosed location somewhere in the South Pacific. But look at the bright side New York, at least your manager hasn’t quit on you like someone else in baseball whose name rhymes with Mike Bargrove.