Even though being a New Yorker means avoiding tourists like the plague and purposefully misleading them when they ask for directions, you can still cash in on tourist perks without becoming one.
The Staten Island Ferry
The Ferry might seem like a method of transportation for Staten Island residents from Manhattan to their homes, but really it’s a free cruise for the idle city dweller hankering for some fresh sea air. You come within a mile or so of the Statue of Liberty, which is as close as you’d ever want to be to the gal, and the views on the water looking back to the Center of Life and Civilization are superb. There is a foot fetishist who frequents the Ferry, but hey if you need a couple of bucks why not take off your shoes. Kidding. Sort of. It’s your call.
The High Line
Ascend the elevated railroad-turned-strip of greenery via a neon elevator at dusk to look out over The Hudson. Weaving through Chelsea three stories above ground, the new-ish park has prompted some exhibitionist types with apartments facing the Highline to convert their fire escapes into stages. You may be privy to some impromptu dramatic monologues or amateur renditions of Broadway musicals. You can also feign relaxation on uncomfortable but artsy benches scattered throughout. Beware of Saturday-morning stroller traffic.
So rural you’d think it was the suburbs. Don’t worry, though, The Cloisters is still in Manhattan so you don’t have to break the pledge you made with your roommates to never ever leave the island. Owned by the Metropolitan Museum of Art, The Cloisters is a secluded enclave in Fort Tyron Park housing medieval art. You can wander among tapestries and goblets and bring a picnic into the condom-studded wilderness surrounding the museum.