Clemens Will Not Be A Yankee

Written by Jason Singer on . Posted in Posts, Sports.


For the 47th time in his career, Roger Clemens is retiring. Clemens, who’s sort of like baseball’s version of Brett Favre except he’s an unlikable jackass, informed the Houston Astros that he’s ready to start his personal-services contract with them.

The contract states that Clemens will become a consultant with the team upon his retirement. The 45-year-old Hall-of-Famer, who went 6-6 with a 4.18 ERA in 17 starts and one relief appearance last season for the Yankees, says he’s looking forward to the off-the-field work. “For me it’s great I get the opportunity to work with the kids and I get to be a part of an organization that I really love and that I have come to know,” he said. “Not only as a fan and a season-ticket holder, but as a player and now I get a chance to work with these guys.”

Like an alcoholic who leaves open the possibility of still casually drinking, however, Clemens’ agent left open the possibility of The Rocket returning to pitch. “He’s moving toward retirement and leaving open the possibility of playing,” agent Randy Hendricks said. “As Roger has stated several times, he’s failed at retirement repeatedly.” Translation: He’ll be back on the mound by July.

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