Mad River Bar & Grille
1442 3rd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-988-1832
Mad River Bar & Grille will begin the festivities at 9 a.m., serving “Kegs and Eggs,” which includes bacon, eggs, bagels and beer! After noon, the real party starts; Bushmills whiskey shots will be $3 and green St. Patty’s Day shots will cost $5. The day will also be complimented by waitresses serving jello shots.

A shamrock sculpted into the foam of a Guinness pint

Swig Bar
1629 2nd Ave. (betw. 84th & 85th Sts.), 212-628-2364
Swig Bar is a down-to-earth pub and restaurant on the Upper East Side where soccer games on TV and good cooking are the norm. Besides a massive selection of Irish beers, Swig caters to those looking to enjoy delicacies such as homemade shepherd’s pie, $12, or the restaurant’s own Swig ale-battered cod and chips.

McKeown’s
1303 3rd Ave. (betw. 74th & 75th Sts.), 212-452-2011
McKeown’s on the Upper East Side is the place to be if you’re looking for a night of great Irish cooking. The dishes range from Gaelic steak, a 12-oz. sirloin coated in peppercorns, pan-seared with mushrooms and onions in a Jameson Irish whiskey sauce and served with a choice of potatoes or rice and steamed vegetables, to Irish-style chicken curry, chicken breast and fresh veggies cooked in an Irish curry sauce served over white rice. McKeown’s is definitely the place to check out if you’re looking for a taste of true Irish culture.

The Parlour
250 W. 86th St. (betw. Broadway & West End Ave.), 212-580-8923
This traditional Irish pub and restaurant is hosting St. Patrick’s Day Week. Thursday, March 15 is “St. Paddy’s Beer Pong Mania,” with 10 full tables of beer pong and a $10 burger and beer special. Friday will have a corned beef sandwich and beer special for $12, coupled with a U2 tribute band warm up later that night. On Saturday, The Parlour’s kitchen will open up at 8 a.m. to serve up a traditional Irish breakfast. Following that will be a live rugby game at 1 p.m., Ireland vs. England, sure to heighten the fighting Irish spirit. At 3 p.m. will be Thirsty Paddy’s Irish Rebel band, followed by Ultra Violet. Saturday night, the U2 tribute band will play for all you drunken Irishfolk ’til the wee hours, then on Sunday morning you can nurse your hangover with another round of Irish breakfast at 8 a.m. during the Paddy’s Sendoff. At 10 a.m. that day will be the Scottish Communities Cup Final, Celtic vs. Kilmarnock. Right after the game will be a live stream of The Druids, a four-piece Irish rebel band, performing in Ireland.

Recently, GQ named Brooklyn the “Coolest City on the Planet” for foodies. While we agree that the borough is first-rate in a number of things—hipster watching, finding a cheap apartment with antique molding—we are inclined to believe that Manhattan is still king. Brooklyn isn’t a cocktail that people in Idaho can order. Woody Allen has yet to direct a film named after that borough. And there is one distinction that Manhattan will always hold: It’s the birthplace of New York City, an urban metropolis that captivates our collective imagination to this day.

Manhattan is the best mix of the old and the new, the elegant and the seedy, the popular and the obscure. This borough, the smallest of the five in terms of geography but the third largest in population, presents every flavor of society—if you know where to find it.

“Best of”, a tradition started here by the New York Press, is meant to inspire an air of wonder in New Yorkers, some of whom may be more ground down by their daily haul than others. Though “Cdiscovered” over 400 years ago, Manhattan still retains a sense of mystery and the same excitement of discovering a new land. This is the borough where you can find wares you didn’t know you needed, experiences you weren’t aware you were lacking and foods you never imagined were edible.

After a year in which Manhattan has survived an earthquake, a hurricane and a freak snowstorm in October, it’s time to put your stamp on this borough and claim it as the best in the universe.

Contributors to the Best of Manhattan issue: Nancy J. Brandwein, Wickham Boyle, Thomas Chan, Shoshana Davis, Leonora Desar, Sharon Feiereisen, Danny Gold, Matt Harvey, Andrea Hilbert, Regan Hofmann, Anna Margaret Hollyman, Layla Khoury-Hanold, Amy Kraft, Roland Li, Aspen Matis, Sherry Mazzocchi, Beth Mellow, Lorraine Duffy Merkl, Evan Mulvihill, Chris Opfer, Mark Peikert, Josh Perilo, Adam Rathe, Robby Ritacco, Josh Rogers, Max Sarinsky, Miral Sattar, Hilary Snell, Doug Strassler, Colin Weatherby, Tracy Weiss, Ashley Welch and Noah Wunsch. All illustrations by Evan Soares.

Best of Manhattan 2011: Arts & Entertainment
Best of Manhattan 2011: City Living
Best of Manhattan 2011: City Services
Best of Manhattan 2011: Eats and Drinks

Best Etailer Who Can Actually Measure You: Bonobos
45 W. 25th St., 5th Fl. (at 6th Ave.), www.bonobos.com/getfit If you’re a man in the 18-to-40 demographic, chances are you’ve seen ads for Bonobos’ pants on Facebook—often featuring a shapely behind sheathed in brightly colored khakis. With its not-too-boxy, not-too-slim fits, etailer Bonobos says they are doing their part to “eliminate khaki diaper butt” while still allowing the wearer to retain his masculinity. The pants have been a big hit among Wall Street and Madison Avenue types—though this Downtown dude is a big fan himself. Bonobos avoids the pitfalls of online commerce by allowing unlimited free returns, but Manhattan customers would be well advised to step into Bonobos’ Flatiron office, where you can receive personal assistance from savvy employees in their “Fit Ninja” program. The Fit Ninjas help fit and measure you so you know exactly which of their sizes fit you best—hang on to the numbers, as they could serve you at future fittings too. The Ninjas also consult on style, so you can get the best selection for your taste and wardrobe needs. Plus, they’re called ninjas! Hi-ya!

Best Above and Beyond Service for Watches: JWATCH
39 W. 14th St., Ste. 501 (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-695-4270
In a city where you get what you pay for, it’s a treat to experience great customer service even when money doesn’t change hands. On a recent visit for a battery replacement (or so we thought), JWATCH’s experts advised that maintenance at a manufacturer-authorized location was required. An energetic blond printed the other company’s service request form and even filled in our watch’s details for us. Turns out she was JWATCH owner Jamie Brown, a rarity in the male-dominated world of watchmaking. Brown hails from Dalhart, a small town in the Texas Panhandle, where she says going the extra mile to help people was instilled in her at a young age. Between Brown and watchmaker Antonio, who has 45 years of experience, JWATCH can fix almost any timepiece—even antiques and collectibles. And if they can’t, they will help find someone who can.

Best Locksmiths: Greenwich Locksmiths
56 7th Ave. (betw. Barrow & Commerce Sts.), www.greenwichlocksmiths.com Phil Mortillaro, the longtime proprietor of Greenwich Locksmiths, would like to make one thing very clear. They are locksmiths, not a hardware store with keys. Locksmiths through and through, Mortillaro and his handful of employees view their profession as a craft, something to be mastered over years of experience. That might be why the 31-year-old shop is a favorite of local building superintendents. Greenwich Locksmiths repairs antique locks, opens broken safes and cuts keys by hand. Just don’t call if you’re locked out at 2 a.m.—Mortillaro thinks the pricing is too exploitative to offer the service.

Best Downtown Haircut with Uptown Talent: Little Hair Shoppe
54 E. 4th St. #B (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), www.littlehairshoppe.com Little Hair Shoppe stylists used feathers before they were cool and have perfected a natural red so real and rich even Julianne Moore would covet it. Even better, they’re not the hired guns you’ll find at the soulless blow-dry bars popping up around the city. Most are ex-Frédéric Fekkai talent who busted out of the confines of Midtown to create a home in the East Village. Sipping wine surrounded by exposed brick and hip, talented people, you almost forget why you came—to get pretty. Pre-event or post breakup, the artists of the Little Hair Shoppe will listen to both what you and your hair need. Color that says, “You owe me that raise, boss lady,” or a cut to make you look thinner, these mane magicians can fix a bad cut or a crappy day at the office, all at incredibly reasonable prices. You leave the salon feeling well-coiffed and cared for. And if you ask nicely, they’ll procure you Tater Tots from the pub down the street. What more could you want?

Best Place to Get Pants Hemmed for $5 or Less: Orchard Express Tailor Shop
136 Orchard St. (betw. Delancey & Rivington Sts.), 212-677-1099
When you just spent more than $100 on that Bar Mitzvah suit for your son, you don’t want to spend another $30 getting the pants and sleeves shortened to fit his not-quite-a-man’s physique. Orchard Express hems pants for $3 to $5. You put on your over-long duds in one of two makeshift dressing rooms, a tailor makes a deft mark and, presto, they’re hemmed in 15 minutes. It’s truly a “While-U-Wait” service, so you might want to bring in a batch and then go holiday shopping at the terrific Lower East Side Tenement Museum Shop on Delancey or satisfy a craving at Economy Candy on Rivington. And Orchard Express can do more than hem; they fixed the torn pocket on a treasured leather jacket for $15. Just don’t give them anything too complicated. As one Yelp realist said, this is the “Dollar Chinatown Dumplings of Hems.”

Best Place to Buy Dream Catchers, Moccasins and Fancy Jewels: Love, Adorned
269 Elizabeth St. (betw. W. Houston & Prince Sts.), www.loveadorned.com Love, Adorned is one of those rare spaces in Manhattan that conjures up fantasies of packing it all in and driving out west to live on a commune in Topanga Canyon with attractive artisans who make intricate handmade jewelry on gorgeous vintage Persian rugs. Owned by the folks behind New York, Adorned, the tattoo and piercing shop in the East Village, Love, Adorned is a thoughtfully curated store that allows you to slip into a temporary mini-vacation. Tasteful body jewelry is sold alongside beautifully executed succulent terrariums (custom made by manager Vincent Martinelli, also the genius behind the Drake and Hen waxed canvas bags). Estate jewelry and up-and-coming designers create a perfect balance of old and new. You walk in a window shopper and walk out with a petrified wood side table, a one-of-a-kind dream catcher and the unnatural desire to move out to Santa Fe and go all Georgia O’Keeffe (with a pierced nose, of course).

Best Unofficial Personal Stylists: In God We Trust
265 Lafayette St. (at Crosby St.), www.ingodwetrustnyc.com “I have nothing to wear,” goes the common defeatist phrase uttered by many on a weekly basis. God forbid something like a wedding or other noteworthy event happens, because that can send one into an instant existential tailspin. Enter the gals at In God We Trust, a store with distinct style specializing in American-made women’s and menswear, who will solve any last-minute fashion emergency, listen to your style conundrum and offer instant solutions. The best part is, they never pressure you into buying and give you their honest opinion 100 percent of the time. Can’t afford one of their dresses? They might suggest investing in some of their highly affordable, handmade jewelry to jazz up something you already own. Want a dress you can wear for years? They’ll personally pull pieces that they know will look good on you. Hell, they’ll even help you design a wedding band and act as your personal therapists while you do it. Is there anything they can’t do? Nope, pretty sure they do it all with style and panache.

Best, Smallest Independent Nail Salon: MY NAILS
7th Ave. (betw. 21st and 22nd Sts.), 212-229-2566
If you’re tired of chain-type nail salons that are super sleek and expensive, get thy hands to My Nails. My Nails’ charm is that it’s not fancy and you can get a really good manicure/pedicure for a great price. It’s a long, narrow space decorated with wilted plants, a fish tank with no fish and a cat clock with bulging eyes and a paw that moves as it counts the seconds. Owned by a woman and her daughter originally from Nepal, the shop is clean, efficient and has a relaxed atmosphere. Get a manicure, pedicure, massage or wax. Sunday through Wednesday, a mani/pedi is only $22.99 (plus tax)!

Best Place to Strike Thrift Store Gold: The Mystery Shop
1672 1st Ave. (betw. 87th & 88th Sts.), 212-423-9920
It’s no mystery why the Second Hand Rose contingency of the Upper East Side swears by this five-year-old thrift store. This narrow but deep treasure trove houses so much antique/vintage/other people’s used goods (call it what you will) that their host of unusual objects spills out on to the sidewalk, always drawing a crowd and adding to the “granny’s attic” cachet. Most items come from residents of the neighborhood. Sometimes it will be a piece of furniture or art work you can’t believe you’ve finally found for a couple hundred dollars, other times it will be a pair of earrings that call your name for a buck. They specialize in lighting and rewire lamps. There are no set hours, though; in general, the shop opens in the afternoon and closes around 11 p.m. Says owner, Grant Captanian, “You never know what’s coming. It’s always a…” Do we really have to say it?

Best Tailor Who Proposes Marriage: Pin Point Tailoring
255 W. 33rd St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-685-4706
A man who can flatter your figure and your ego? Yes, please! Anyone who expects alterations to be a simple errand hasn’t lived in NYC long. Lies of “Come back tomorrow, I give to you,” and zippers breaking mid-party have plagued Manhattan’s fashion forward for years. Enter Pin Point. Looking in the window, the shop presents a portal to the past. Seasoned tailors Ismail and Celal are throwbacks to a time where clothes were fitted and women could be fawned over without a sexual harassment suit. If Statler and Waldorf were true lovers of the female form, they’d be these guys. A running commentary of your beautiful figure and lovely sense of style continues for the length of your visit. (It’s not just for me—I checked.) More importantly, changes to your clothes are flawless and can be turned around in a day or two. They push Snickers minis to encourage weight gain, thus giving them repeat business. Ismail has proposed marriage with every visit—and for a discount, I might take him up on his offer.

Best Hard-Core Workout: Barry’s Bootcamp
135 W. 20th St. (betw. 20th & 21st Sts.), www.barrysbootcamp.com
A longtime L.A. favorite, Barry’s Bootcamp has finally opened a studio in New York City. Known for their heart-pounding, calorie-burning 60-minute workouts, each class ($32) combines cardio work on the treadmill with strength training on the floor. Classes are so sweat-inducingly effective they’ve even lured in the likes of Kim Kardashian—without makeup. Unlike what the phrase “boot camp” conjures up however, instructors at Barry’s push students past where they thought physically possible without succumbing to drill sergeant yelling. The 3,500-square-foot New York City space is the mini-chain’s largest to date and comes complete with locker rooms stocking Malin + Goetz beauty products, showers and a Fuel Bar serving up shakes and smoothies to replenish parched post-workout bodies.

Best Pampering Hair Salon for Men: Hommage Atelier by Julien Farel
605 Madison Ave, Penthouse (betw. 57th & 58th Sts.), 212.752.2100
Ladies have more wallet-thinning, pampering beauty treatment options than they know what to do with. When it comes to giving the gents indulgent treatments tailored to their needs however, that’s a different story. In comes Hommage Atelier by Julien Farel, a bespoke grooming enclave designed specifically with the man in mind. Master barbers, technicians and hair stylists have all been hand-selected by famed hair stylist Farel and are equipped with iconic straight razors, shaving accoutrement and the professional skincare products that Hommage is known for. A full list of man-centric services, from a basic straight razor shave to unique services like hand grooming to ease carpal tunnel syndrome caused by excessive Blackberry use, is offered in the James Bond-worthy atelier. Among the amenities you can expect are a glass-encased fireplace, a skylight, $13,000 chairs on which the grooming services are performed and a personal attendant to ensure that all your needs—including steaming your jacket or bringing you a glass of single malt—are met.

Best Mosque to Get Married in: Islamic Cultural Center of New York
1711 3rd Ave. (at E. 96th St.),212-722-5234
Get off at the 96th Street stop of the 6 train, look east and you’ll see the blue-green-domed Islamic Cultural Center of New York filling a whole city block. The largest mosque in the city opened its doors to the public in 1991. The center, commonly known as the “96th Street Mosque” fits over 1,000 people within its walls ands boasts that it was the first mosque in NYC built from the ground up. The geometric form of the domed mosque, based on a recurring theme of square units, lines its walls. During the day, an abundance of light shines through the windows, making for a great wedding backdrop. Once you step inside the gates, you feel like you’re in Cairo instead of the Upper East Side. Don’t forget, no shoes allowed.

Best Place for a Bosom Tune-Up: Bra*Tenders
630 9th Ave. (betw. 44th and 45th Sts.), www.bratenders.com Is your inner Jessica Rabbit is tired of being caged in a pigeon’s body? Then nip in to Bra*Tenders, hidden on the 6th floor of the fabulous Art Deco-lobbied Film Center building. It’s so super-secret, it’s practically Fight Club. Once you’re in, though, you’re in, joining the ranks of idols from Gloria Steinem to Bette Midler. Follow warm Mamaleh Lori or one of her ladies behind the curtain where chests are transformed.

Best Place to Get a Tattoo from a Graffiti Artist: Tuff City 2
17 Essex St. (betw. Grand & Canal Sts.), www.tuffcitystyles.com A spin-off of Tuff City Styles on Fordham Road in the Bronx, this tattoo shop on the Lower East Side retains the same combination of street cred and professionalism as its parent. The inside resembles a subway car complete with a pole, subway seats and turnstiles. A colorful mural of cans of spray paint covers one wall, fitting because the majority of the tattoo artists here are also graffiti artists, whose work is on display both in the shop and in the courtyard out back. The personable staff has the skill to calm a nervous first-timer one minute then find a way to add a unique piece of art to a body already covered in tattoos the next. Whether you want a monarch butterfly on your ankle or the New York City skyline on your back, these guys can draw it up and etch it onto your skin with the extreme precision and creativity that only true artists can offer.

Best Place to Rediscover the Comics and Memorabilia of Your Youth: Forbidden Planet
840 Broadway (at E. 13th St.),
www.fpnyc.com
Have you ever found yourself walking toward Union Square and suddenly noticed a plastic Yoshi staring at you from a nearby shop? That would be Forbidden Planet, and beyond its doors is an impressive collection of comic books, manga and graphic novels. However, Forbidden Planet is perhaps best known for its multimedia-themed collectibles and merchandise. From apparel to toys to posters to virtually whatever, Forbidden Planet is a treasure trove of products to keep your closet geek at bay. But if merchandise and memorabilia don’t completely satisfy your nostalgic needs, the store also hosts regular in-store appearances and signings by comic book authors, illustrators and the like. After all, the only thing more appealing to your inner geek than an out-of-production Wolverine action figure is one that has been signed by someone from Marvel Comics.

Best New Public Transportation: East River Ferry
The subway is hot and crowded and the bus can be unreliable, but thanks to this year’s latest transportation innovation, The East River Ferry, getting around Manhattan, or even to far-flung destinations like Queens or Governors Island, can be easy, cheap and scenic. A $4 ride, which you can pick up at East 34th Street or Pier 11 in the Financial District, will shuttle you quickly to a number of spots, from Williamsburg to Dumbo or even Long Island City, with the oddly is-this-really-New-York-City feeling of being on a boat. On nice days the decks are the place to be, taking in the sun and watching the East River glisten almost as if it was the Mediterranean. On less pleasant days, stay indoors and thank your lucky stars that you’re not shoved into a speeding box with a thousand other wet, unhappy commuters. Besides fostering an appreciation for the waterfront we never had before, the ferry has made heading to hard-to-reach parts of town a snap and made everyday city life a bit more like a day trip. In our experience, nautical garb only makes the journey more pleasant.

Best Picnic Area in Central Park: West 100th Street near the pool
Let’s face it: Central Park is too damn crowded, at least during the times you want to be there. But the tourists haven’t yet figured out that the park extends north of the reservoir, so enjoy the space while it lasts. There are quite a few nice spots up there to spread a blanket and take off your shoes, but none better than facing the pool, the charming pond near the park’s northwest corner that receives more shade than any of the main lawns, where rushing waterfalls provide the background noise.

Best Place to Meet the Knicks: The Sky Room
330 W. 40th St., 33rd Fl. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-380-1195
There’s a world above our world in Manhattan; from the street, The Sky Room (on the rooftop of a Times Square building) blinks like a distant star. But the trip up costs only your coat (they often lose it), and when you pop up on the sky top, you may, depending on the day, feel like an alien—a midget among Knicks. But they’re gentle giants, and you’ll soon relax. And marvel: from the Sky Room’s sky-nested deck bar, Manhattan glitters like red, green and gold star shards, a metropolis unlike the one you live in. And looking down at this other Manhattan—and up at the tall, tall men—can even be affordable; just order a soda.

Best Park for Live Music: Washington Square Park
Steve Earle walks his dog here, and Strokes frontman Julian Casablancas can occasionally be seen pushing a stroller under Washington Square’s massive white arch, but it’s the impressive and varied assortment of amateur and semi-professional musicians that make this West Village park the best spot for live (and free!) music. Drum circles, impromptu acoustic jam sessions and staged sets from jazz-infused NYU trios set the soundtrack for an afternoon around the Square’s fountain. Sure, Central Park’s SummerStage brings in the big name acts, but without stilts and a pair of binoculars, you’ll have a hard time getting a glimpse of the action at those jam-packed sweat fests. Instead, head over to Washington Square on an early Sunday afternoon, snag a bench or a spot by the fountain and open your eyes (people watching opportunities abound) and ears to the musical majesty awaiting.

The Best Place to Use the Restroom in NYC: Times Square Marriott
1535 Broadway (at 45th St.), www.marriott.com/hotels/travel/nycmq-new-york-marriott-marquis
The lines for the bathrooms can be outrageous during the intermissions of Broadway shows. Homeless people have populated the restrooms of Starbucks. So where is someone in the know supposed to duck in for the bathroom? Try the Marriott Marquis’ second-floor bathrooms. Clean and well-populated with stalls and urinals, the Marriott is close enough to the majority of Broadway theaters to make standing in an endless line unnecessary.

Best Place to Rescue a Smaller Dog: Bideawee
410 E. 38th St. (betw. FDR DR.& 1st Ave.), www.bideawee.org
Trying to adopt a pet at the city’s pounds and countless animal rescues is a daunting task, with lots of large dogs and special needs cats. Not everyone is equipped to nurse these animals back to health. Bring in Bideawee. This no-kill animal rescue has been a New York establishment since 1903. The staff at Bideawee brings in animals from the street, kill shelters and a multitude of other places and readies them for a family. They have programs to fly in smaller dogs from California pounds that are harder to adopt there than in our small-dog-loving city. New pet parents can rest assured that they’ll have support from the organization, as each pet comes with a free vet visit to Bideawee’s animal clinic to confirm that your new friend is in good health when they go home.

Best Bookstore: McNally Jackson
52 Prince St. (betw. Lafayette & Mulberry Sts.),
www.mcnallyjackson.com
This bilevel Soho book mecca is always packed, and that shouldn’t be surprising. It’s stocked with a large but well-curated selection of books, from fiction to travel guides and cookbooks, and boasts an impressive selection of readings, in-store book clubs and seriously good-looking patrons. There’s even a coffee shop off to the side of the main level in case you find yourself under-caffeinated or unable to leave the store without tearing into your new purchase. What’s most appealing about McNally, though, is the feeling of shopping at a locally owned store that’s not at all lacking in selection. There are none of the impersonal touches that chain stores can have and all of the New York charms they could never cultivate if they tried. Sure, you can order any book you’d like online, but the experience of shopping at McNally is more than worth the effort.

Best Record Store: Other Music
15 E. 4th St. (betw. Broadway & Lafayette St.), 212-477-8150
Most people are downloading their music these days, whether they’re buying it on iTunes or downloading it illegally. But if you’re looking to buy records—yes, the good old-fashioned kind—or CDs, Other Music in NoHo is the place to go. Staffed by knowledgeable if slightly aloof young people who seemingly live in hip Brooklyn rock clubs, the shop stocks not only the best in new, must-have music but a nice collection of used LPs and CDs that are discounted in price and offer a bit more eclectic a selection. The real secret about Other is that while the staff can seem a bit too cool, they’re actually quite helpful, whether you’re looking for the newest release from a practically unheard of band or something a bit more mainstream. If you’ve ever missed the classic record store experience or found yourself looking for something that hasn’t yet hit the store that lives in your computer, give Other Music a spin.

Best Reason Not to Miss Law & Order: All TV Shows Still Filming in New York
Some of them (The Good Wife) use New York to stand in for some place else. Some of them (Boardwalk Empire) film in New York to evoke days of yore. And some of them (Bored to Death, Damages, Gossip Girl, White Collar) take advantage of their filming location to show off the Big Apple’s many trendy and hidden sites in all their glory. All of them, mercifully, provide employment for the many local performers who feared they’d lost a home when the Dick Wolf evergreen came tumbling down in 2010. And as a result, terrific actors like Jayne Atkinson, Heather Burns, Len Cariou, Santino Fontana, Lisa Joyce, Danny Mastrogiorgio, Laila Robins and Paul Sparks don’t have to flock across the country to find work.

Best Tourist-Free Outdoor Shopping Mall: 5th Ave. betw. 14th and 23rd Sts.
Let’s face it, sometimes New Yorkers just need to step into an H&M that doesn’t make us feel like we’re in the middle of a strange, touristy, pop-music-filled torture chamber. Sometimes we need to impulsively buy a leopard-print shirt from Zara that we’ll only wear once because it’s been a long week and we don’t want to battle attractive Italian people who can afford to buy the entire store. Other times we may need to walk down the street and not worry about crashing into large, immobile groups of midwesterners in Hollister T-shirts holding maps on Broadway because we just want to pop into a J. Crew, Club Monaco or Madewell to scan the sale racks. That’s why lower Fifth Avenue is a New York shopper’s “safe space.” Spacious sidewalks allow you to avoid the tourist obstacle courses that usually end in passive-aggressive shoulder checks and nine times out of 10, the stores will have your size. It’s our very own private Mall of America—let’s just pray the out-of-towners don’t catch on.

Best $20 Gym Not in a Creepy Basement: Blink Fitness
E. 4th St. (at Broadway),
www.blinkfitness.com
Tiny basements with limited ventilation and budget-friendly gyms just don’t mix. Blink Fitness manages to buck tradition with spacious, light-filled, airy facilities so pleasant, you will actually find yourself wanting to go to the gym. A little sister of Equinox, Blink has every piece of up-to-date equipment your fancier gyms have, minus the classes to keep costs down. But who really enjoys those sweat-filled rooms full of Zumba-dancing strangers anyway? At $20 a month, there’s no reason not to join.

Best Busker: Asian Hipster at the 1st Ave. L Station
There’s something about the hipster Asian gentleman who often sits at the First Avenue L station, guitar in hand and harmonica perched on his neck. His voice isn’t classically good. His notes are not exactly crisp. He kind of sounds like a drunken, high-pitched Tom Waits at times. His accent is a bit off, as is his pronunciation of certain words, but I’ll be damned if he doesn’t melt you heart every single time you hear him. He just sits there on the benchs, playing a Rolling Stones cover, unperturbed by the masses walking by, singing his heart out. What he lacks in correct enunciation he more than makes up for with his perfectly mournful tones. There’s nothing better to hear when you’re returning to Brooklyn after a night that didn’t exactly go as planned.

Best Subway to Occupy (and Work On) Wall Street: No. 2 & 3
While other trains are stuck in the station, you can beat your broker Downtown and Occupy Wall Street with a 15-minute ride from the Upper West Side. While the A train has the largest “big play” express jump in Manhattan from 59th to 125th streets—which made for comic fodder in the indie classic The Brother From Another Planet—and the additional glamour of inspiring a jazz standard (“Take the A Train”), stop for stop, nothing moves you up and down Manhattan quicker than the 2 and 3 trains during rush hour. Added bonus: the No. 1 is often waiting across the platform if you are looking for a local station.

Best Street Exemplifying the Excesses of Capitalism: Freedom Place, Trump Place
66th Street at Freedom Place
This street is actually named in honor of three civil rights workers slain during the Freedom Summer of 1964. But like all idealistic endeavors, it eventually succumbed to the pressures of capitalism and is now lined with residential towers emblazoned in gold lettering with the namesake of Donald Trump. If you haven’t had enough development in the 14 years since its groundbreaking, Trump Place is expected to expand by another seven buildings before it’s complete. By then, you may be able to watch the Donald sporting an oxygen machine, sitting at a boardroom table in outer space tell a 39-year-old, fresh-out-of-rehab Justin Bieber, “You’re fired.”

Best Lawn That’s Empty on a Weekend Afternoon: Rockefeller University campus, Turtle Bay
On-campus housing is limited at Rockefeller University, so you pretty much have this oasis to yourself when class is out of session. Between ignoring your cell phone and getting engrossed in a novel, be sure to explore Manhattan’s forgotten campus, home to one of the world’s best biological sciences program. The rustic sculpture installation on the campus’ north end makes you question whether the old cliché about scientists in lab coats never seeing the light of day could possibly be true.

Best Place to Experience New York Like It’s 1608: Inwood Hill Park Indian Caves
Inwood Hill Park (at Dyckman St.), 212-304-2278
Some folks would probably argue that NYC has been going downhill ever since Henry Hudson started poking around out in the harbor. That’s fine, because in New York City, there’s even a place for the naysayers. The Wiechquaesgeck indians used the caves in Inwood Hill Park as a sort of pre-Columbian summer camp, complete with shellfish feasts and cool summer breezes. It is one of the very few places in Manhattan where it is actually conceivable to pitch a tent and frolic in the woods. Imagine a slightly more rustic version of the Hamptons and you get the idea.

Best Off-the-Beaten-Path First Date Spot: Les Enfants Terrible
37 Canal St. (at Ludlow St.), www.lesenfantsterriblesnyc.com
Way down on the Lower East Side there exists a radius of a few blocks that avoid the collection of sidewalk stumblers, women walking barefoot while holding their high heels and guys in collared shirts fighting in the middle of the street. In that space is a hip little French (or is it Brazilian?) restaurant/bar full of attractive people, good music and dark lighting. Les Enfants Terrible can get a little crowded, but it’s intimate and not too bustling and has a general vibe and out-of-the-wayness that will give your date the idea you’re in the know. Sure, your date’s eyes might linger a little too long on the younger version of Audrey Tautou seated next to you or the scruffy, scarf-wearing cigarette smoker hanging outside, but chances are that will end up rubbing off on you by the end of the night.

Best Outdoor Concert Series: SummerStage
www.summerstage.org
Working in over 750 parties citywide, SummerStage offers what is undoubtedly the most comprehensive and interesting outdoor musical offerings in New York City. This past summer’s slate included Yo-Yo Ma, hip-hop legend Funkmaster Flex, indie rockers Friendly Fires, local up-and-comers Milagres and a whole lot more. And it’s not just music: SummerStage offers dance and theater performances as well. The main stage, where the biggest concerts take place, is at the Rumsey Playfield in Central Park near Fifth Avenue and East 69th Street and features, in addition to performance, food and drink vendors curated by The Brooklyn Flea. The best part? Most of the shows are free. And the paid ones are usually fundraisers, which is hard to say no to when you’re enjoying so much complimentary culture each summer.

Best Place to Live a Jimmy Buffett Lifestyle: West 79th Street Boat Basin
W. 79th St. (at the Hudson River), 212-496-2105
Everyone knows that living on a boat is just about the coolest thing you can do. But living on a boat and simultaneously paying $417 a month for rent may also be the smartest decision you ever make. There are only 116 slips and the waiting list is a mile long, but register now and there may be a chance you could spend those golden years sipping rum drinks under the roar of the West Side Highway. There are only three prerequisites to starting your Manhattan yacht life: A boat, a sweet beard and a weathered stash of urban-themed Hawaiian shirts.

Best Small Outdoor Dog Run: Madison Square Park
www.madisonsquarepark.org
On the west side of the park near 25th street, just north of the regular dog run, is a nice play space for smaller canines. A friendly assortment of owners bring an equally interesting array of dogs to play, chase balls and, frankly, tire them out. Here people know their little darlings won’t get seriously pounded by a Siberian husky 50 times its size as in the bigger dog park. Water bowls are provided and if they’re not full, you can enter the big dog park and fill them with the hose at the south end. The small dog run is a great place for puppies to get socialized without getting traumatized. The first time I brought my new puppy there, she was filmed by CUNY.TV for a promo about how animals can keep you healthy. It doesn’t get much better than that.

Best Place to See the Stars: Columbia University Stargazing and Lecture Series
The Roof of Pupin Hall, 538 W. 120th St. (betw. Broadway & Amsterdam Ave.),
outreach.astro.columbia.edu
During the 2004 blackout, the Milky Way was visible from New York City for the first time in decades. Some people called 911 because they didn’t know what it was. Light pollution is an urban astronomer’s nightmare, washing out nearly all of the heavenly bodies. But Columbia University’s astronomers understand that people shouldn’t be deprived of seeing the rings of Saturn, the Seven Sisters or the mighty Orion. Every other Friday night, stargazers can enter Pupin Hall’s observatory and peer through their five telescopes at the night sky. Even on cloudy nights, the free movies and lectures on black holes, colliding galaxies and the latest in astronomical discoveries make the trip worthwhile.

Best Place to Find an Action Figure of Public Enemy’s Chuck D: Toy Tokyo
91 2nd Ave. (betw. 5th & 6th Sts.),
Is it a rubber ducky with Mr. T’s head that catches your fancy? Or perhaps you’ve always wanted to try a Ghostbusters energy drink? These and other unique items line the somewhat out there and completely whimsical shelves of Toy Tokyo in the East Village. The shop, which boasts exclusive items including an action figure of Public Enemy’s Chuck D, as well as classic Star Wars and Wonder Woman toys, is a collector’s dream. Cool cache from around the world arrives on shelves every week, so whether you are looking to buy another Kid Robot or your very first Monchichi doll, you’re in luck. Vending machines filled with mini action figures can be found at the front of the store not far from the Justin Bieber sticker books, the one touch of irony in this toy oasis.

Best Meatpacking District Hot Spot Hotel: Dream Downtown
355 W. 16th St. (betw 8th & 9th aves.),
dreamdowntown.com
Move over Standard, step aside Jane, and forget you, Soho House—these days, there’s no topping The Dream Downtown. A hospitality mecca, the sprawling hotel boasts two restaurants: a steakhouse called Marble Lane run by the same team that operates Tao and Romera, which specializes in “neurogastronomy” and has one seating per night of an 11-course, $245-a-person dinner prepared by acclaimed chef and neurologist Dr. Miguel Sánchez Romera. To top it off, The Dream Downtown boasts a spacious penthouse lounge, PH-D, equipped with an elevated DJ booth and a state-of-the-art sound system housed between two floor-to-ceiling glass walls, one of which opens onto an expansive outdoor terrace. Down below there’s a basement lounge, Electric Room, run by Rose Bar’s Nur Khan. One things’s for sure: this is one hotel where few people come to sleep.

Best NYC Afternoon Without Spending a Cent: Hudson River Park
www.hudsonriverpark.org
Begin your journey at 23rd Street, cross the West Side Highway and enter the Hudson River Park. Once you get beyond the bedlam known as the bike path, you’ll find a delightful pedestrian walkway that moves at a much more civilized pace. Wander, perambulate and rejoice in the beauty of the river, the fresh air, the sky and the immaculate landscaping. Remember and celebrate the fact that you live on an island. Sit on a bench and read a book you’ve been meaning to get to, feel the sun on your face, reflect and hang out. Be aware of each moment in the present as it cascades into the next. Sit in the sun or find some shade and rest on the totally dog-free lawns. Stroll for hours. Revel in the idea that you’ve found joy without money for just one day.

Best Home Brewing Supply Store: Whole Foods Market Bowery Beer Room
95 E. Houston St. (at Bowery), 212-420-1320
With the closest home brew shop a lengthy subway ride into Brooklyn away, I was relieved when the Whole Foods Market Bowery Beer Room opened at the Houston Street Whole Foods. Besides having one of the most impressive local beer selections in the five boroughs, they have anything and everything you’d need to get your own brew started in your very own kitchen. Bottles, hops, tubes and the all-important, hard-to-find beer yeast are all there for the perusing. Sure, this stuff is all available online, but it’s always better to see the stuff in person. Cheers to a welcome addition to the do-it-yourself landscape of Manhattan!

Best Place to Feel Like Edith Wharton: The Old Mercantile Library
Center for Fiction, E. 47th St. (betw. 5th & Madison Aves.),
www.centerforfiction.org
Ascend the staircase of The Old Mercantile Library, select a clothbound novel from the shelves, settle down in a wingbacked leather chair and visualize yourself a regency noble or Bostonian spinster poetess. Or ride up in the gloriously claustrophobic, rickety elevator and read literary quotes from the decoupaged newspaper pages and clips that line its walls. It’s practically a ghost town during weekday business hours, when members can treat the Henry Otis Chapman-designed spaces as their personal drawing rooms. Don’t forget to visit the stacks in the recessed bowels of the building. Dark and empty, we imagine more than a few live bodice rippings might have taken place among the tomes.

Best by-the-Hour Cubicle: Paragraph
35 W. 14th St. #3 (betw. 5th & 6th Aves), www.paragraphny.com
If you find yourself without an office and are sick of writing at home, Paragraph—a rental space for writers—awaits. Grab a first-come, first-served cubicle and silently glance at the Wooly Cap Guy, the Literary Glasses Girl or the Intellectual Loner while you pretend to work, basking in the glow of your laptop. For around $150 a month, there’s free coffee and candy in the kitchen, along with the chance to strike up a conversation about Rilke or Egan with someone who might actually know who they are.

Best Subway Art—Official: 14th Street A/C/E Platform
Most MTA art ranges from the spectacularly inoffensive—mosaic waterfalls and literary snippets under the NYPL—to the hopelessly misguided—the “interactive sound experience” on the 34th Street N platform that begs tourists and drunks to bombard innocent bystanders with a cacophonous din of rain sticks and xylophones. None of it inspires any emotion—that is, except for Tom Otterness’ “Life Underground.” In a corner of the system used primarily by Meatpacking clubgoers lurks a world of featureless, mildly sinister characters going about the same business of subway-riding as everyone else, only cuter. Otterness’ signature figures scrounge for change (in sacks of gold coins), sleep on benches (with top hats pulled over their eyes) and get pulled down open manholes by equally adorable crocodiles. Equal parts Rich Uncle Moneybags and the industrious Doozers from Fraggle Rock, the foot-high figurines will inspire at least one emotion while you wait for the train: delight.

Best Subway Art—Unofficial: MTA “Service Advisories”
Since the sanctioned art scene below-ground is so dull, many industrious artists have taken it upon themselves to liven up the scene, bringing the mountain to the MTA’s Mohammed. Of course there’s the graffiti and Poster Boy’s (née Henry Matyjewicz) iconically iconoclastic corruption of station billboards, though recent legal hassles have slowed his once-prolific output, but for the best of the bunch, our money’s on the fake MTA posters. About six years ago, a genius with an ax to grind and some amazing Photoshop skills discovered they could perfectly replicate the MTA’s service advisory posters and created their own, warning riders about the transit corporation’s corruption, greed and indifference to its customers. Though the format has since been cracked and is now available for any average Joe to crank out a poster, the biting, politically strident originals used the medium to subvert itself and its viewer’s expectations, the true test of high art.

Best Neighborhood to Wind up an Extra on TV: Tribeca
In the space of 10 blocks below Canal Street you can go from the pan-Asian bustle of Chinatown past the imposing monuments to justice of the court system down to a world of wider-than-average cobblestoned streets and family-friendly, post-industrial lofts. Nowhere else in New York has less of a unifying aesthetic, making Tribeca the perfect choice for those trying to simulate just about anywhere in America, from big-shouldered Chicago to tony West Hollywood as well as New York City itself. Though Law & Order no longer films daily in and around The Tombs, a number of series have picked up the slack and neighborhood residents are now immune to the thrill of walking past craft services tables and sneaking a peek inside trailers. Walk down any street and you’re sure to end up in a crowd scene or two—hang around long enough and you may just get discovered.

Most Color-Coordinated Brownstone: 48 W. 10th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.)
10th Street is, end to end, quite possibly the most beautiful residential street in the city. From St-Mark’s Church in-the-Bowery on the east side through the restored brownstones of the middle Village to the starchitect high rises on the Hudson River, it’s enough to inspire severe homeowner’s envy. Best (or worst) of all is the block between Fifth and Sixth avenues, a perfect row of brownstones with verdant window boxes and baroque ironwork that ends at the gorgeous clocktower of the Jefferson Market Library. Nestled in its center is a scene that has to have been planned: a single-family dwelling of brighter-than-usual red brick with vibrant turquoise shutters, outside of which is parked a trim turquoise Vespa with a brick-red seat. We’re convinced the Vespa’s for show only; in at least five years, it’s never once been away from its post. You want to resent the excess, but it’s just too perfect a picture.

Best Decadent Nightlife Experience: Dances of Vice
www.dancesofvice.com
It’s midnight on a Saturday and you’ve wandered straight into what can only be described as the black-and-white wonderland of an Edward Gorey illustration. No, you’re not dreaming, just lost in the sumptuous, anachronistic surreality that is a Dances of Vice event. From baroque-flavored masquerade balls to Victorian murder mystery spectacles to Blade Runner-inspired afterparties, Dances of Vice makes you feel the way Charlie did after he unwrapped the golden ticket.

Best Broadway Quality Theater at a Tenth the Price: Fiorello LaGuardia High School of Music, Art and the Performing Arts
100 Amsterdam Ave. (at 65th St., behind Lincoln Center)

www.laguardiahs.org
Pssst. Students at Fiorello LaGuardia High School of Music, Art and the Performing Arts (the Fame school) are putting on Guys and Dolls from Dec. 8-18, and it only costs $20 for adults and $10 for students! Last year’s school musical, Hairspray, electrified sold-out audiences with its Broadway-quality singing, dancing, acting and set design—and musical direction and choreography by professionals Larry Pressgrove and Ben Hartley. But the annual musical is only one of several excellent productions by LaG students. On Nov. 4, you can hear the smooth-as-velvet Senior Jazz Band and rousing symphonic band for $10. There are choral events, gospel concerts, dramas, art shows, dance showcases and even operettas. You just might see the next Jennifer Aniston, Tichina Arnold, Laurence Fishburne or Al Pacino (all LaGuardia alums) take the stage.

Best Sexual Experience with Your Clothes On: Stripped Stories
Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, 307 W. 26th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.)
www.ucbtheatre.com
Remember the thrill of playing “never have I ever” in the basement of your best friend’s home after homecoming? Bring that game full circle once a month and join in for a few rounds with 200 fellow pleasure seekers. Giulia Rozzi and Margot Leitman host Stripped Stories, a fun-loving, sex-themed storytelling show at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre. The Chelsea location is home base for the duo, who tour with Stripped Stories around the U.S. The show encourages audience members to laugh at their own sexual misfortune through comedians revealing their own on stage. At the end of the night, the audience is asked to join in for an interactive audience game of “never have I ever.” The rules are simple: Everyone starts standing up, the hosts ask a question and if you’re a no, you sit down. The winner is the last person standing, who is then interviewed about their sexual escapades on stage.

Best Uptown/Downtown Mash-Up: PopRally at MoMA
11 W. 53rd St. (at 6th Ave.)

www.moma.org
A series of collaborations between artists working in different mediums, PopRally brings the sort of cutting-edge programming usually left to Downtown warehouse parties to the upscale environs of the Museum of Modern Art. Past events have included a screening of the film Old Joy paired with a live performance by indie stalwarts Yo La Tengo, an evening of skateboarding videos, after-dark gallery tours and an evening of art trivia hosted by artist Ryan McNamara and DJed by hot Brooklyn band Tanlines. This beingthe Modern, it’s a bit more upscale than your average night out, but take that as a challenge and dress up, have a nice dinner first and soak in the sort of cultural cocktail that it would be impossible to find anywhere else.

Best Off-Off-Broadway Theater Company: Partial Comfort Productions partialcomfort.org
You get Uptown quality for Downtown prices with this nearly 10-year-old theater troupe, currently on a roll after a trio of trenchant works: Thomas Bradshaw’s The Bereaved, Samuel D. Hunter’s A Bright New Boise and company co-founder Chad Beckim’s After. (Molly Pearson is Partial Comfort’s other parent.) PCP—which has an ongoing residence at Alphabet City’s Wild Project—prides itself on presenting fresh plays that refrain from giving easy answers and quick resolutions. These plays examine the quiet corners of human emotion and do it in ways that are wholly accessible and entertaining. The only thing not genuine is the name—when it comes to a salve for the theatergoing soul, these guys go all the way.

Best Place to See the Next Big Band: (Le) Poisson Rouge
158 Bleecker St. (betw. LaGuardia Pl. & Thompson St.),

www.lepoissonrouge.com
(Le) Poisson Rouge (French for “The Red Fish”) is a veritable cornucopia of nightlife and entertainment options. Concert hall, nightclub, karaoke lounge, art/poetry/fiction gallery, cabaret—you name it, they host it. But particular recognition goes to their concert hall for regularly showcasing up-and-coming bands at an affordable price (the majority of their shows are just $15). In the past year, (Le) Poisson Rouge has featured buzzworthy acts like Beach House, Dan Deacon, Lykke Li and the ever-so-trendy Florence and the Machine. Occasionally, they even get the opportunity to showcase major performers like Paul Simon and Lou Reed (these shows are generally attached to a benefit or charity and are a bit more expensive). But the true price of a concert lies beyond just the cost of the ticket, and (Le) Poisson Rouge accommodates accordingly by serving up some cheap drink deals like $3 Rolling Rocks and $5 well drinks.

Best Place to Keep the Ghosts of Broadway Past Alive: Musical Mondays at Splash
50 W. 17th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.)

www.splashbar.com
Carol Channing, Hugh Jackman and Mary Martin never got together and threw back kamikaze shots—at least, not to our knowledge. But video jockey John Bantay (a Broadway baby himself, having recently appeared in the revival of The Ritz) provides the next best thing for rabid show tune fans on Monday nights at Splash Bar, with an encyclopedic vault of musical songs on celluloid. Crowds rock out to such staples as Wicked’s “Defying Gravity,” Funny Girl’s “Don’t Rain on my Parade,” The Drowsy Chaperone’s “Show Off” and even the Jersey Boys medley from the 2006 Tony Awards telecast. You can also catch recordings of musical numbers from films like Little Shop of Horrors, Pennies From Heaven and The Wiz. Famous fans like Christina Applegate, Kristen Chenoweth, Cheyenne Jackson and La LuPone have even been known to turn out. And remember, newbies: The show ain’t over until Jennifer Holliday sings.

Best-Kept Theater Secrets: Susan Louise O’Connor and Will Rogers
These two marvelous New York actors rarely stop working and yet have managed to stay under the radar, charting a course that’s a testament to both their impressive range and stunning depth along the way. Take O’Connor’s incisive work last spring in Kari Bentley-Quinn’s Paper Cranes at Packawallop Productions and compare it to her zany antics in Joshua Grenrock and Catherine Schreiber’s Desperate Writers, the show that followed merely days after the close of Cranes. Rogers embodied a similar one-two punch, bounding from his subtle work as a Harvard undergrad getting an unintentional education in Classic Stage Company’s Unnatural Acts to turn in the sharpest performance in Jeff Talbott’s The Submission at MCC Theater. Both have played a litany of roles with effortless grace and have never stolen the spotlight. It’s time that spotlight shone on them.

Best Exhibit to Stand in Line For: De Kooning: A Retrospective at MoMA
11 W. 53rd St. (at 6th Ave.)
www.moma.org
Yeah, it was the Alexander McQueen exhibit at The Met that broke records with their labyrinthine lines this summer, and it was an interesting, if anemic, showcase. At the same time, though, it conflated fashion with costume design, two worthy but distinct areas of art. This MoMA exhibit is on sturdier artistic footing. It makes a thorough case for the many merits of abstract expressionist art and why Willem De Kooning might just be their best representative—even more so than his more famous colleague, Jackson Pollock. Organized by John Elderfield, chief curator emeritus of painting and sculpture, the retrospective covers the entirety of the Dutch artist’s seven-decade-long career. This is the rare art exhibit whose works are powerfully palpable, justifying every scrape, line and brushstroke. It demonstrates how de Kooning’s oeuvre wasn’t just a reflection of his own life but of everyone’s.

Best Playwright We Hope Never Gets Co-Opted by Hollywood: Crystal Skillman Awards and accolades have a habit of continuously being flung in the direction of Skillman, the unconventional and uncompromising scribe of such Downtown successes as Nobody, Birthday, Crawl, The Vigil or the Guided Cradle and Cut. Skillman has a unique voice, both irreverent and soulful, and her plays are of-the-moment instant classics. She is unafraid of challenges and has experimented with such formats as the Western, musicals and graphic novel adaptation. There is seemingly no world this exemplary talent cannot create within the sandbox of her own mind—which begets the fear that one day the tempting hand of Hollywood will come calling. Let’s hope that day is far away—we need Skillman here to help keep New York theater organic for a long time to come.

Best Underground Strip Club: Saint Venus Theater
www.saintvenustheater.com

You need to apply to get on the invite list to this elite traveling strip club. Parties are hosted at a rotating roster of destinations, and the only way to find out where is to be accepted and receive their weekly email. Each party requires a $40 admission, which includes 2-for-1 drinks and a complimentary lap dance. Yay! Once past the doorman, a bevy of beauties await, and it is the girls who make this pole worth dancing. Saint Venus holds casting sessions looking for the best and the brightest, so if you go to Columbia or NYU and want to check it out, be prepared to run into some scantily clad classmates.

Best Video Rental Store (Yes, They Still Exist): Video Room
300 Rector Pl.(at Rector Park) or 1403 3rd Ave.(betw. 79th & 80th Sts.), 212-962-6400 or 212-879-5333

This is a confusing time for home video entertainment. Blockbuster is dead, signaling the end of the chain movie rental store as we know it. However, the combined price increase for Netflix’s DVD service coupled with their paltry online streaming selection makes one pine for the days of the corner video hut. Keep hope alive, children! The video store lives! One of the best remaining rental stores in the city, Video Room, is carrying on as if it was 1985. With two locations (one on Rector Street in Battery Park City and the other on Third Avenue on the Upper East Side), this place has every movie. Seriously. And if it doesn’t exist on DVD, they’ll have it on VHS. Yes, they carry over 12,000 titles on video cassette. As if they weren’t awesome enough already, they also deliver. Fire up those VCRs and set your time machines to 198-awesome!

Best Venue to See ’90s Relics: Mercury Lounge
217 E. Houston St. (betw. Essex & Ludlow Sts.)

www.mercuryloungenyc.com
Anyone suffering from a lack of moping, guitar fuzz and twitchingly catchy choruses in their lives should head directly for Mercury Lounge. Over the last 12 months, the LES stalwart has played host to such ’90s alterna-rock icons as J Mascis of Dinosaur Jr., Juliana Hatfield and Evan Dando of The Lemonheads, among others. The intimate back room with its pleasantly cluttered, lower-than-average stage is small enough to keep from intimidating skittish performers who may not have been on stage in over a decade. Plus, the only way on and off the stage is through the crowd—dust off your back issues of Sassy and bring them in for an autograph. Strangely, there’s less plaid here than in any Bushwick hangout—kids these days.

Best Mom-and-Pop Café: 11th Street Café
327 W. 11th St. (betw. Greenwich & Washington Sts.), 212-924-3804
Forget Chipotle and the lunchtime rat race. Step into this adorably tiny West Village cafe for a long, delicious, anti-chain lunch. While you’re at it, get to know Maud and Philippe Bonsignour, the charming husband-and-wife team behind the operation. Maud hails from France’s Basque country, while Philippe has a proud Parisian pedigree. The two met as children somewhere romantic in France, and have been opening friendly cafés ever since they were married—Philippe in the chef’s role, Maud as manager extraordinaire. “I know every single customer,” Maud said. “I know their grandmothers. Everything.” For breakfast, the bacon, egg and cheese biscuit is an artery-clogging, hangover-busting delight—or, if you’re in a rush, get their eggs-in-a-coffee-cup to go (exotic toppings like pineapple and gruyère are optional). For lunch, the turkey sandwich with Danish blue cheese, frisée, lingonberries and honey mustard is simply brilliant.

Best Place to Have an Actual Conversation Over Coffee: Café Grumpy
224 W. 20th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.)
www.cafegrumpy.com
In an era when entitled customers expect Wi-Fi, table service and an endless reservation on their chair, Café Grumpy’s no-laptop policy feels curiously antiquated. But while it does drive away über-achieving students and part-time bloggers, it brings in a much preferred crowd: the Chatty Cathys of the world. Eavesdrop on grad students explaining to clueless sorority girls why a Foucauldian reading of the text might be more insightful than a Marxian, start-up types chatting about plans to oust the CRO and the CFO and Chelsea boys plotting their sloppy conquests later. If you get desperate for some digital stimulation, discreetly check your smart (or dumb) phone or tap on an iPad under the table. Did we mention they have great coffee?

Best Place to Drink an Authentic Cup of Pakistani Chai for $1: Lahori Kebab
124 Lexington Ave. (betw. E. 28th & 29th Sts.), 212-400-1166
Craving a hot drink to wash down your dinner? Forget the redundantly named $4 chai tea lattes and head over to Lahori Kebab to drink an authentic cup of chai. Any South Asian will tell you that a cup of chai is not made with frothed milk or nutmeg but a concoction of tea leaves boiled in water and cooked with milk, cardamom and sugar added to taste. Only $1 will get you a styrofoam cup of chai to go. The first sip brings warmth, the second sip brings contentment and the whole cup brings zen.

Best Free Popcorn: Holiday Cocktail Lounge
75 St. Marks Pl. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-777-9637
This East Village dive’s longtime owner no longer slings drinks, but Holiday Cocktail Lounge’s interestingly stocked jukebox, surprisingly decent beer selection and glorious popcorn remain. The new owners are Yankees-loving locals whose accents and propensity for buying barflies a beer every few rounds are welcome in a neighborhood where both comforts are no longer standard. If Mad Men teaches us anything, it’s that just about the only constant in this city is change. Don, Roger and the boys might not be saddling up to the Holiday’s U-shaped bar for an old fashioned any time soon, but it’s nice to know there’s a place where thirsty city dwellers can drink a pint and talk shit about A-Rod with a stomach full of free popcorn.

Best Gluten-Free Pizza: Pie
124 4th Ave. (betw. 12th & 13th Sts.)
www.piebythepound.com
With its quirky, no-frills decor and thin-crust, gluten-free options, Pie is the buzz among vegans jonesing for the perfect slice of grilled eggplant pie as well as the average pizza lover craving a plain cheese slice. Since you pay by weight, Pie is perfect for commitment-phobes who want to mix and match toppings. The way the pizzas are chopped up into small squares also makes sharing—and swiping—an easy option. Whether you want to devour a whole pound or just sample a couple of toppings, their inexpensive beer ($2 for Miller High Life; $2.50 for Budweiser) will help you wash it all down.

Best Cheaper than a Trip to France: Lyon
118 Greenwich Ave. (betw. W. 12th & 13th Sts.)
www.lyonnyc.com
You’ve stood in line at Ladurée for 45 minutes on your lunch break, but there’s an easier way to get your Francophile on. Lyon, a quaint and relaxed bouchon, offers all the greatest hits from the country’s gastronomic center. Enjoying an aperitif of méthode traditionelle champagne in a cozy wooden room peppered with red-checked tablecloths, you’d swear the restaurant was brought across the Atlantic board by board. The charcuterie is decadent enough to turn vegetarians into carnivores. Each barnyard friend is represented better than the next, including a Lyonnais riff on New York City’s beloved hot dog complete with salted pretzel roll. Adventurous eaters should try the tripe; the rest can find perfection in the standards: roast poulet, salad with bacon and poached egg and a rich onion soup of hearty broth, tender brisket and rich marrow jam. As the French do, wash it all down with a glass (or three) of their slightly chilled Beaujolais. Julia Child would surely be there nightly. Bon appétit!

Best Meal at a Michelin-Starred Restaurant Under $75: Aldea
31 W. 17th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.)
www.aldearestaurant.com
The Michelin committee doesn’t screw around; they guide you toward your next superior meal of greatness. But unless you’re working with a trust fund, picking up the tab can be daunting. Unlike some of the other restaurants on the famed list, Aldea has an approachable attitude to fine dining. Chef George Mendes’ cooking pedigree will wow you, as will his fresh, modern Portuguese flavors. Iberian-inspired dishes, like their creator, are both sexy and unpretentious. Aldea’s interior is an organic foil for its cuisine—it shimmers with natural wood, light and sparkling glass. Your date will be impressed. The obvious way to sample the fare without breaking your piggy bank is to take advantage of the ever-present, three-course lunch for $24.07. But if you can find a way to make it for dinner, focus on the seafood and fish. The exception: a drool-worthy arroz de pato, with crispy duck confit and chorizo. To come in under budget, order it and share the Spanish octopus a la plancha starter. Your friend can order any of the mains and be happy. Or simply consume a liquid dinner at the bar by sampling three of Brian Block’s amazing cocktails. Either way, it’s a win-win.

Best Free Lunchtime Artisanal Food Sampling: New Amsterdam Market
100 Peck Slip (at Front St.), 212-766-8688
In a parking lot fronting the now defunct Fulton Fish Market, rows of plank and trestle tables are laden with the best chocolates, breads, cheeses and meats that money can’t buy—at least when you’re sampling the artisanal wares. This year-old reinvention of the Public Market has been a quiet success, perhaps because of its non-hip location or the high ratio of market fare to prepared foods. One could easily make a meal of dark Nordic bread, cucumber, and cheese, Mexican chocolates, bratwurst from well-tended piggies, smoked duck breast, Berkshire blue cheese and crisp slices of Bosc pears or Mutsu apples. All you need is a toothpick and no shame (when you circle back for more). And if you still feel peckish, purchase a porchetta sandwich ($6); succulent pork and crisp cracklings in a hard roll. Eat it on benches fronting the East River with a spectacular view of the Brooklyn Bridge.

Best Reason to Eat Standing Up Under the Manhattan Bridge: Xi’an Famous Foods
88 E. Broadway #106 (at Forsyth St., also 67 Bayard St. at Mott St., 81 St. Mark’s Pl. betw. 1st & 2nd Ave.)
www.xianfoods.com
The Silk Road started in China’s Shaanxi province, in Xi’an, a city that melded Middle Eastern and Chinese foods to create a unique cuisine characterized by star anise and cumin-spiked lamb dishes, hand-pulled noodles and a distinctive white flatbread—like soft English muffins. Xi’an Famous Foods brought one family’s interpretation of this cuisine to Flushing and then to Manhattan, first at this simple kitchen/counter under the Manhattan Bridge. Too bad there are no seats, because the $3 lamb burger, stewed pork hand-ripped noodles or spicy and tingly “lamb face salad” will bring you to your knees. No worries. Walk to the Bayard Street Xi’an, this one with tables and chairs. Food is sloppy to share off one Styrofoam plate (especially when you dig a fork in and discover that it’s all one long noodle!), so get extra plates and lots of napkins. Cold flowery teas are great accompaniments to the more fiery dishes.

Best Way to Shut Californians Up About Mexican Food: Dos Toros
Various locations
www.dostoros.com
Californians who come to New York are always moaning about our lack of acceptable Mexican food. It’s one of those things we’re just supposed to accept as being wrong with New York. You can now safely tell these interloping West Coasters that they are dead wrong. Taco-obsessed brothers Leo and Oliver Kremer, originally from the Bay Area, opened the first branch of Dos Toros just below Union Square in 2009 and have since expanded their mini-empire to the West Village and Upper East Side, thanks to their simple, delicious tacos and burritos (the pork is especially outstanding and the quesadillas are a delight) and beautifully constructed spaces. This isn’t fancy Mexican with tableside guacamole preparation, but it’s certainly the sort of place to bring a friend for tacos and beers, especially if that person needs convincing that superb Mexican food can be found right here in Manhattan.

Best Place to Find Authentic Puerto Rican Food: La Taza de Oro
96 8th Ave. (at W. 15th St.), 212-243-9946
Though Chelsea has changed quite a bit in the last 50 years, this neighborhood staple has not. La Taza de Oro, a family-run eatery that has been in business for over 60 years, serves up traditional Puerto Rican dishes to neighborhood natives and curious tourists alike. Open Monday through Saturday for breakfast, lunch and dinner, this cozy restaurant offers finger-licking good menu items like stewed beef and fish, pollo al horno (roast chicken), ropa vieja (pulled beef) and chuletas fritas (fried pork chops). Daily specials, such as stewed codfish and goat stew, offer a healthy variety to the menu as well. Each entrée is served with a large helping of yellow rice and beans. The price is extremely reasonable, too—almost every dish is under $10. Whether you’re looking for a quick bite or craving that mofongo you tried on your trip to San Juan, La Taza de Oro will have something to sate your appetite.

Best Place to Pretend You’re on a Wong Kar-wai Set: Nom Wah Tea Parlor
13 Doyers St. (betw. Bowery & Chatham Sq.)
www.nomwah.com
It’s become more and more difficult to step into true time warps in Manhattan, but Nom Wah Tea Parlor is sticking to its mid-century guns. Originally opened in the 1920s, the honey-colored walls, red vinyl booths, Formica lunch counter (be sure to try one of their signature almond cookies on display) and 1950s appliances all act as a refreshing alternative to those faux-historic, taxidermy-happy restaurants that seem to be de rigueur these days. Wally Tang has kept the place running for the past 60 years and, although lovingly updated by nephew Wilson Tang (a former banker, ladies), the place still makes you feel you should dress in your brightly colored Sunday best and drink your tea slowly and seductively, à la In The Mood For Love. And oh, the dim sum is good, too. The steamed chinese greens in oyster sauce (updated with a “gluten free” identifier on the menu) and taro dumplings are delicious. Prices range from $1.25 to $9.95 and $5 Tsingtao beers only sweeten the highly stylized mise en scène—I mean, deal.

Best Fresh-Squeezed Juices that Don’t Cost Half Your Paycheck: Lite Delight
51 E. Houston St. (betw. Elizabeth & Mulberry Sts.), 212-966-4471
“Oh my God, I’m going on a week-long juice cleanse,” said a girl at a house party the other night. Really? So you’re basically going to pull $20 out of your purse and light it on fire for a week straight? Face it, “juice cleanse” means instant bankruptcy in this town, with many 12-oz. cups starting at $6 a pop. Deli Fresh, a holdout on Houston since the ’90s, allows the rest of us to attempt to be healthy without robbing us blind. Fresh combos like Hangover Helper, with beets, apples, cucumber and carrot, or the Warm Up, made with ginger, apple and carrot, are $3.50 for a regular or $4 for a “jumbo.” Their early bird specials from 7-10 a.m. knock the prices down to $2.50 to $3.75, allowing just about anyone to dabble in the raw juice cleanse movement. They’re only fruits and vegetables, after all.

Best Place to Catch Dinner and a Band: Pianos
158 Ludlow St. (at Stanton St.), www.pianosnyc.com
There are lots of great venues around town in which you can see great live music. There are also, of course, about a million fantastic places to have dinner. But if you want to do both of them in one place, where do you go? Pianos, of course. Serving upscale pub grub that’s just right before a rock show, the Lower East Side space manages to move its delicious food quickly, even when there’s a crowd packed in, and diners rarely feel rushed. Tuck into the Mediterranean nachos and one of the truly excellent (and affordable) burgers before seeing some of our brightest local talent or tomorrow’s hot new band today. If you’re around for happy hour, don’t miss the $5 appetizers and sandwiches or the famous margaritas that are a favorite among New York’s rock set.

Best New Place for Locals to Eat Near Times Square: Qi Bangkok Eatery
675 8th Ave. (at W. 43rd St.),
212-247-8991
Eating on 42nd Street, unless you’re grabbing something from a cart near Bryant Park or are lucky enough to frequent the Condé Nast cafeteria, is generally a horrifying proposition for New Yorkers. Thanks to Qi, chef Pichet Ong’s open-since-April Thai debut, that’s no longer the case. Qi features a menu of well-executed Thai dishes—mostly outstanding versions of those treasured standbys but with a few surprises, including outstanding and exotic curries (try the chicken and pumpkin) and eccentric desserts. Surprisingly for the neighborhood, the prices are exceedingly reasonable. Not to mention the restaurant, with a modern motif and a helpful staff, has the feeling of a place that’s much more expensive—and in an entirely different neighborhood.

Best Outer-Borough Import: Fatty ’Cue
50 Carmine St. (betw. Bleecker & Bedford Sts.), www.fattycue.com
Chef Zak Pelaccio is no stranger to Manhattan. He runs Uptown and Downtown branches of nouveau Malaysian favorite Fatty Crab as well as the traveling Fatty Snack food truck. Until recently, though, his newest restaurant, Fatty ’Cue, was only in Williamsburg. Luckily, in September a new branch of Fatty ’Cue opened on Carmine Street in the spot where Pelaccio’s restaurant Cabrito used to be. The food, a mash-up of classic barbecue and Malaysian ingredients, features unusual and finger-licking dishes like smoked lamb shoulder with house-made pita bread and goat yogurt (our favorite!) and a buttermilk-fried half-rabbit. If you want hip, Brooklyn dining without venturing to a poorly lit block beneath the Williamsburg Bridge, this is your chance.

Best New Restaurant for People Watching: The Dutch
131 Sullivan St. (at Prince St.), www.thedutchnyc.com
Chef Andrew Carmellini (Locanda Verde) opened The Dutch to much fanfare in April, and with good reason: the place is great. From the buzzy crowd to the delicious food (those oyster sliders are not to be missed), the restaurant became the place to eat this summer. Almost better than the eating, however, is the scene. From the windows that overlook both Prince and Sullivan streets’ stylish SoHo foot traffic to what’s happening inside the restaurant itself—first dates, business deals and every clued-in person below Houston Street piled in at the bar—the views are almost as exciting to consume as the striped bass with mussels in lemongrass curry broth. Space can be tight, so for optimal people watching grab a seat in the back room’s bar, where you can peek out the window and around the corner, or take advantage of the standing room to case the joint and check out the other patrons from every angle—you won’t be sorry you did.

Best Thai Food That’s Not What You’re Expecting: Zabb Elee
75 2nd Ave. (betw. E. 4th & 5th Sts.), www.zabbelee.com
Foregoing the same old items available at most of the five boroughs’ Thai restaurants, Zabb Elee instead focuses on the cuisine native to northeast Thailand, near Laos and Cambodia. Lively meat salads called larb are bright and delicious, mixing your choice of meat—we like the duck—with crushed peanuts, spices and toasted rice. An epic menu of grilled meats, well-stocked soups and more familiar all-day-special-type plates are also offered, though few are anything that even adventurous diners will be used to. In our experience, it’s best to order a cheap bottle of wine to kick off and then pick a variety of dishes—asking the supremely helpful staff for recommendations—to finish out the meal. Nothing we’ve had has been bad (though a fish dishes have been a bit too spicy—and that’s saying something), and some, like par ped moo krob, a mixture of eggplant, crispy pork, peppers, basil, ginger and curry, have been memorable enough to order on every following visit.

Best Place for Summer Drinking: The Beekman Beer Garden Beach Club
89 South St. (betw. Beekman & John Sts.), www.beekmanbeergarden.com
New to The South Street Seaport last summer, The Beekman offers a massive drinking area with unparalleled views of the Brooklyn skyline as well as a number of bridges, depending on how far you’re willing to crane your neck. Open from noon to 3 a.m. daily, the restaurant has a winterized indoor area, plenty of games (ping-pong, billiards, foosball) and a sand-filled outdoor space that’s perfect for warm—or even just warm enough—weather. In addition to a full bar and a healthy beer selection, there’s a menu of delicious and not-too-pricey food, including a Pat LaFrieda burger and a bratwurst served on a pretzel bun that make the trip east of the FDR worthwhile. The Beekman might not come into its own until summer, but why wait until the crowds swarm the place to make yourself a beloved regular?

Best Dollar Oyster Spot: Salt
29 Clinton St. (at Ave. B),
www.saltnyc.com
Dollar oyster specials have picked up steam in the city of late, though they are still few and far between. Salt’s been doing it for a while, though they recently cut back the hours. Never mind, it’s still one of the easiest places to do it, with cheap drinks and other appetizers to boot. There’s no long lines or crowded bars here. The ambiance is laid back and chill, with dark wooden tables and candlelight setting the perfect mood for oyster slurping. The oysters themselves aren’t going to bowl anyone over, but they’re pretty damn good for a buck each and still pack a good taste. Most importantly, we’ve sampled the wares many times and never once been sick, and that’s pretty much the be all, end all when it comes to cheap seafood.

Best Out of the Way Frozen Delights: Chinatown Ice Cream Factory
65 Bayard St. (at Mott St.), www.chinatownicecreamfactory.com
When you walk down Mott Street on the east side of Chinatown, ignore the Häagen-Dazs and instead turn onto Bayard Street, where you’ll find ice cream with a local twist. With flavors such as lychee, red bean and the sublime Zen Butter, a combination of peanut butter and ground sesame seeds, Chinatown Ice Cream Factory has some of the most exotic tastes this side of the Pacific. Philip Seid opened the shop some three decades ago and his daughters Christina and Katherine continue the family tradition. As its website proclaims, ice cream has been said to have been invented in China during the Tang Dynasty, but it’s taken a few thousand years to come up with this particular take on the dessert.

Best Place to Get Fried Crickets:
Rhong Tiam
154 Orchard St. (betw. Rivington & Stanton Sts.), www.rhong-tiam.com
To be honest, there really aren’t that many. But at Rhong Tiam, you can order the Thai popcorn, a few dozen lightly fried and seasoned inch-long crickets. In Thailand they’re considered a delicacy and are readily available on street corners, though the version here is a little more upscale and gourmet than the Thai street version. And while the novelty of eating giant bugs might wear off after one or two, rest assured that the rest of the food on the menu is more standard Thai fare and is pretty damn tasty. And while the crickets are not exactly great for date night, they are great for dining with your friends. Or you can get ’em to go, then hit the bars and dare strangers to eat them to enliven a dull night. Never fails. Just remember to remove the head and legs. Nobody wants to cut their night short because they got a thorax stuck in their throat.

Best Bar to Lure Your Brooklyn Friends In: Bar 169
169 E. Broadway (betw. Jefferson & Rutgers Sts.), www.169barnyc.com
If you’re like most of us, your friends are probably split between somewhere south of 14th Street and Brooklyn. This can make for some infighting when it comes to drinking decisions; thankfully, Bar 169 is perfect to unite all. Downtown enough to avoid frat boys and college kids, this ragtag dive features cheap drinks with generous pours, a raw bar, cheap dumplings till 4 a.m., loud music, a Bettie Page lookalike who sometimes dances on a pole and an attractive, friendly crowd. It’s tough to have a bad time. There’s just something about the New Orleans-inspired atmosphere, with all of the crap on the ceiling and the weird lighting and raw bar station, that leads to a sloppy, debauchery-filled fun night. It’s a complete sensory overload, and just the right mixture of unpretentious without attracting too douchey a crowd. It gets crowded, but never too crowded that you have to wait long for a drink. It’s close enough to the trains that go to north or south Brooklyn, and it’s got Brooklyn prices.

Best Way to Spend $1.25 After Midnight: Insomnia Cookies
405 Amsterdam Ave. (betw. W. 79th & 80th Sts.), www.insomniaCookies.com
Step aside Mark Zuckerberg—the undergrads who created Insomnia Cookies are geniuses. A mere $1.25 gets you your choice from their warm mint chocolate, double chocolate, peanut butter or snickerdoodle cookies, to name a few. For a little bit more you can indulge in an ice cream sandwich, deluxe cookie or a glass of milk. And these whizzes are baking masterpieces to the tune of The Grateful Dead or Bob Marley until 2 a.m. So whether you’re studying hard or partying harder, this is the place to go for that late- night sugar craving. Too drunk or lazy to leave the house? They deliver, too! Genius.

Best Filipino Tapas: Kuma Inn
113 Ludlow St., 2nd Fl. (betw. Delancey & Rivington Sts.),
www.kumainn.com
If you’re looking for some sweet sangria, salty fried cod and fluffy yellow tortas—don’t come to Kuma Inn. But if you’re looking for some of the best Asian-inspired cuisine served up on dishes too big to be dim sum and too small to be entrées, check out the best Filipino tapas this side of the LES. Packed in a hustle-and-bustle space right by Delancey Street, the service is like the food: fast and good. Personal favorite: the eastern omelette—Chinese sausage, scallions and bean sprouts. Second personal favorite: their awesome BYOB policy. Great for a date. Best for a party.

Best Secret Part of Paris in New York City: Ansonia Hotel
2109 Broadway (at W. 74th St.),
212-721-0076
It’s really hard to divulge the location of this charming French patisserie tucked into the Ansonia Hotel—what if it becomes swamped and loses its sweet, secret allure? So you’re on your own when it comes to finding the doorway. With a narrow corridor of eight marble tables with two chairs each, this place is perfect for trysting lovers or longtime friends who want a quiet place to stare soulfully or just catch up. Even long-married couples will enjoy ignoring each other behind separate sections of the New York Times. But it’s not just the venue that attracts, it’s the victuals, like the excellent tuna salad and brie sandwiches or the hearty vegetarian soups like lentil or creamy mushroom. Of course, most people come for the baked goods. Some favor the coconut or almond croissants, while others crave the flaky layered Napoleons. Almost everyone agrees the coffee is “so-so,” but c’est la vie.

Best Inexpensive, Unpretentious, Three-Hour Meal: La Belle
973 Columbus AvE. (betw. 107th & 108th Sts.), 212-866-2355
Sharn, the jack-of-all-trades owner/maitre d’/waiter/chef, will take care of you just right. So what if he wears a Yankees cap and baggy jeans? With service this friendly, you’ll forget you’re in the heart of New York City. Just be sure to bring a few bottles of wine (the restaurant is BYOB), soak in the eclectic collection of classical figurines and antique clocks and be prepared to unwind from a long day while Sharn perfects the meal in a kitchen smaller than your grandmother’s.

Best Ukrainian Home Cooking: Ukrainian East Village Restaurant
140 2nd Ave. (betw. 8th & 9th Sts.), 212-614-3283
While the East Village is no longer the Ukrainian-centric neighborhood it once was, the cultural footprint remains, especially in the cuisine department. One of the best and most authentic spots to hit for your pierogi fix is called, simply, The Ukrainian East Village Restaurant. Foregoing the slickness (and inflated prices) of Veselka, The Ukrainian is unassumingly tucked away inside a strange-looking office building, at the end of a hall that looks like something out of a DMV. But once inside, it’s like you took a trip back in time to grandma’s house, if grandma lived in Kiev circa 1930. The usual suspects are the stars of the show here. Pierogi, blintzes, chicken Kiev and kasha varnishkes with mushroom gravy are the must-haves. And if you eat too much, don’t worry. You can always go have a shvitz around the corner at the Russian and Turkish baths afterwards.

Best Mars Bar Replacement: Sophie’s
507 E. 5th St. (betw. Aves. A & B),
212-228-5680
When the Bowery’s beloved—and infamous—haunt Mars Bar finally closed in August, the question on its regulars’ lips was, “Where can we go now?” Every year, the East Village sheds a few more dive bars only to add several more upscale speakeasies with velvet ropes and fancy cocktails. One option that kept coming up was Sophie’s, a nondescript watering hole on E. 5th Street between avenues A and B. Luckily for Sophie’s gentler bar staff, not every Mars ex-regular heeded the call, but there’s no question that—excepting weekend nights, when NYU flocks have been thicker on the ground lately—even the grizzliest Bowery type will feel comfortable bellying up to Sophie’s bar for its generous pours and static prices. While the jukebox isn’t quite as provincially exceptional as Mars’ (what juke could be?) it’s filled with old East Village anthems from the likes of the New York Dolls, the Velvets and David Bowie. And extra points for its well-kept pool table.

Best Hole-in-the-Wall Pakistani/Indian Food: Sirtaj
36 W 26th St. (betw. Broadway and 6th Ave.), 212-989-3766
For tasty Pakistani/Indian food, this is it! Inside it’s bare and funky and a bit dingy, but the food is consistently fresh, with some dishes as good as pricier places around the city. Try the chicken tandoori, chicken saag, navratan curry, or the chicken makhni—and don’t forget the naan. Deliveries can be slow at lunchtime because the neighborhood knows it’s a gem. Oh, and the prices are so low you’ll think they’re typos.

Best Macarons: Ladurée
864 Madison Ave. (betw. 70th & 71st Sts.), 646-558-3157
The mother of all Parisian macaron shops, the centuries-old Ladurée went international in 2011 with the opening of their first New York City location. Lest you think they would leave anything to chance, the macarons are flown in every day from France. At $2.70 apiece, the patisserie’s small, sugary confections are as much a price indulgence as they are a caloric one—not that you’d know it by the line that consistently forms outside the diminutive shop. Why? Because when it comes to macarons, none are as crumb-licking worthy as these. Also stocked in the shop are chocolates, pastries, sorbets and the brand’s collection of candles along with limited edition boxes (think orange/passion fruit macarons in a black box with gold trim for Halloween). Just remember, buy Ladurée’s macarons with caution—once you pop one, it’s hard to stop.

Best Restaurant Headed by a Top Chef: Catch
21 9th Ave. (betw. Little W. 12th & 13th Sts.), 212-392-5978
Restaurants run by former Top Chef contestants are a dime a dozen, and that’s not always a good thing—when was the last time you heard someone say they went to the Mondrian SoHo for the food? One sure fire bet amidst the mixed bag, however, is Catch. The latest venture from the owners of, among others, Abe & Arthur’s, Lexington Brass and Tenjune, the multilevel space dishes out seafood prepared by Top Chef winner Hung Huynh (formerly the executive chef at Ajna Bar), most of which is designed to be shared. Eats are prepared in several parts of the restaurant, including the raw bar, the open-air kitchen and by the central wood-burning oven (yes, the place is as big as it sounds). The sprawling eatery also boasts a sushi bar, a tapas station, a cocktail bar and a glass-enclosed rooftop lounge. Flavors are big—and so are the prices—so reach for your LBD and sky-high pumps and prepare to be pleasantly surprised by food that’s as good as the setting it’s served in.

Best Place for Breakfast 24/7: Veselka
144 2nd Ave. (at 9th St.),
www.veselka.com

Time was that one of the only restaurants where you could get a decent brunch in the East Village was Veselka, which has served just about the same fare—Ukrainian “soul food”—in the same location since the mid-’50s. What with seemingly several faddish new venues offering brunch popping up every year just skipping distance from Saint Marks Place, though, those days are long gone. It’s a testament to Veselka’s staying power that crowds still line up weekend afternoons for its breakfast standbys—buckwheat pancakes, thick strips of bacon, granola and its famous kielbasa—as if it was the only show in town. But the old eatery’s main appeal to neighborhood residents is simple: a 24-hour breakfast menu.

Best Place to Take Your Kids and Let Your Rainbow Flag Fly: Café Forant
449 W. 51st St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), www.cafeforant.com
Most former fag hags eventually marry and breed, but that doesn’t mean we leave our fab BFFs behind. If you’re stymied about where to take your 3-year-old and your own personal Stanford Blatch to brunch, hit the best-kept secret in Hell’s Kitchen. Chef Lea Forant serves up organic, postmodern interpretations of comfort food along with Parisian fare tony enough to elicit an “ahhh” from even the most jaded Isaac Mizrahi wannabe. Expect her wife Carolyn to introduce their son Eli and their terrier Jack, and don’t be surprised if the cabaret-star-cum-waitress belts out a show tune or two by the time you’re toasting with barista-worthy coffee drinks and house-made lavender lemonade.

Best East Village Underdog: Ray’s Candy Store
113 Ave. A (at 7th st.), 917-340-7855
This East Village institution, which opened in 1974, has survived recent run-ins with the city’s Department of Health and the neighborhood’s gentrification. Owner Ray Alvarez got a boost last year from his neighbors, who organized a fundraiser to help pay the space’s $3,000-per-month rent. Ray’s offerings include Belgian fries, milkshakes, burgers and egg creams, and it has become an icon of the area. In October, the artist Chico painted a tribute on Ray’s awning for Bob Arihood, an East Village photographer and blogger who recently passed away. Arihood’s portrait faces Alvarez’s, along with the motto “Truth, Justice and the Comics.” It’s not the first time the eatery has paid tribute—during the last presidential election, items were “Obamafied,” adding the candidate’s name to form “Obama coffee” and “Obama burgers.” No word yet if Ray’s will do the same next year.

Best Place for a Mad Hatter Afternoon Tea: Tea & Sympathy
108-110 Greenwich Ave. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-989-9735
On most days at Tea & Sympathy, you will find troops of English girls in floral flocks navigating a small room, delivering steaming pots of tea to patrons squeezed into tiny tables. The digs might be cozy, but the blends are unbeatable. Opt for the Rosie Lee and the “afternoon tea” for one, which includes a tower of perfectly cut tea sandwiches (the cucumber, chicken salad and egg salad are the best), crumbly scones with clotted cream and jam and toothache-inducing cakes. With mismatched china, floral tablecloths, colorful teapots and an eclectic clientele, it is quintessentially English and therefore a bit mad.

Best Hotel Bar for Work or Play: Paramount Bar in The Paramount Hotel
235 W. 46th St. (betw. Broadway & 8th Ave.), 212-827-4134
There’s no lack of drinking establishments in Midtown, but if you’re looking for a place you could bring a client and perhaps have a special someone meet you there an hour later, well, there aren’t too many spots that fit the bill. Enter Paramount Bar. Open since April, this sliver of a space in the lobby of The Paramount Hotel is easy to miss (a friend recently bypassed the space and emailed us grumpily from a seat in the lobby, proclaiming there was no such bar in the hotel) but worth finding. Expertly made cocktails are served in a chic, calm room either at the bar or by a helpful if unobtrusive staff. Seasonal concoctions like the Dark and Stormy come and go, but there’s a solid menu of standbys and a helpful bar staff willing to whip up whatever you need. A small but sturdy wine list is also available. The only thing missing is a menu of small bites, considering that once you enter the bar, it’s unlikely you’ll want to leave for dinner.

Best Restaurant Headed by a Top Chef: Catch
21 9th Ave. (betw. Little W. 12th & 13th Sts.), 212-392-5978
Restaurants run by former Top Chef contestants are a dime a dozen, and that’s not always a good thing—when was the last time you heard someone say they went to the Mondrian SoHo for the food? One sure fire bet amidst the mixed bag, however, is Catch. The latest venture from the owners of, among others, Abe & Arthur’s, Lexington Brass and Tenjune, the multilevel space dishes out seafood prepared by Top Chef winner Hung Huynh (formerly the executive chef at Ajna Bar), most of which is designed to be shared. Eats are prepared in several parts of the restaurant, including the raw bar, the open-air kitchen and by the central wood-burning oven (yes, the place is as big as it sounds). The sprawling eatery also boasts a sushi bar, a tapas station, a cocktail bar and a glass-enclosed rooftop lounge. Flavors are big—and so are the prices—so reach for your LBD and sky-high pumps and prepare to be pleasantly surprised by food that’s as good as the setting it’s served in.

Best Block for Old-School Food Shops: Bleecker Street betw. 7th & 6th Aves.
On Bleecker Street, you’ll feel as if you dropped back in time or took a trip to Europe as you wander from one tiny food shop to another—no mega stores here. Make a list or be inspired by what is fresh and cook up a storm. Start near Seventh Avenue at Ottomanelli, where fourth-generation butchers really know their meat, from quail to rabbits and the best fresh turkeys in town. Cross to Faicco’s, where for over 60 years brothers have sold everything to concoct the perfect Italian feast: mozzarella, sausages and marinara sauce made fresh. Waddle a few doors down to Murray’s Cheese, only around for a couple of decades, and sample from over 250 different aromatic, creamy or pungent varieties. Luckily, there’s a bench out front where you can sit and look at the cakes in Rocco’s Pasticceria. If you cross the street and open the door, the aroma of anise and butter will seduce you. There is a green grocer at either end of the street, so you can find a veggie or two to round out your feast.

Best Deep-Fried Hot Dog: Crif Dogs
113 Saint Marks Pl # 2 (betw. 1st Ave. & Ave. A), 212-614-2728
Whether you call them hot dogs, frankfurters or some kind of wurst, bun-wrapped, tube-shaped meats are hardly ever something to write home about, forget about line up for—and deal with tip-hounding moonlighting college kids—at 2 a.m. But whether you get one of their bacon-wrapped Tsunami dogs or a grilled, “cooked to order” (read: prepare to wait) veggie specials, Crif Dogs’ franks are indeed worthy of their good press. And for a graduate course in patience, you might want to queue up to wash your dog down with one of the elegantly mixed cocktails served at the “secret” next-door speakeasy, PDT (Please Don’t Tell). But for that, really be prepared to wait because, as every concierge and tourist guidebook will tell you, “Psst…the entrance is through the phone booth.”

Need a quirky gift but don’t have the cash? Fish’s Eddy is still your place. The store has been a destination for decades, but may have been forgotten with all the new boutiques and chain stores that have moved in to hawk their wares for the price-conscious. With beautiful votives for $10, kitschy coasters for $3.95 and sets of Japanese garden glasses for $20, you can stock up on distinctive stuff for your pals—and maybe even have a little left over to spend on yourself.

Best Place to Feel Like a Kid: Make Meaning
329 Columbus Ave, betw. W. 75th & W. 76th Sts., 212-362-0350

Remember when you were tricked into going with your friends to one of those pottery places where you had to plate while gabbing about your girlfriends? It’s back—kinda. Make Meaning opened up a few months ago in child-friendly Upper West Side and has somehow managed to balance the twee with the sophisticated. They have classes to teach you how to make items with glass, or you can try out candle-, jewelry- or papermaking. Sure, there’s always the chance that you’ll feel a little uncool sitting around while threading beads. But remember that whole knitting thing? Plus, getting your hands a little dirty is always fun.

Best Place to Place to Feel Like a Man: Hog Mountain
192 5th Ave., at Sackett St., Brooklyn, 347-725-4236

After logging 5 miles on the stroller and an afternoon of Daddy & Me classes, Park Slope guys can find refuge at Hog Mountain, the general store for men. Walk out with a silk tie, a brown leather wallet, a Carhartt jacket, a flannel shirt and a saw. It’s Americana for an urbane set that prefers a classic look that’s stylish. The store is stocked with a variety of Levi’s jeans—even skinny (if you must) and slim-fit. Men can treat themselves to Lucky Tiger grooming products, get a pair of cuff links and finally learn how to tie a bow tie from the store’s knowledgeable owner. Just make sure you park your stroller far enough from the tool section, out of Junior’s reach.

Best Place to Hawk Your Clothes: Buffalo Exchange
332 E. 11th St., at 1st Ave., 212-260-9340

Unlike certain consignment shops that seem to only want to take your most bizarre and ugly items of clothing (we’re looking at you, Beacon’s Closet), Buffalo Exchange will actually validate your sense of style by buying up the items in your closet you either don’t fit in, no longer wear or just never looked right on you. And instead of taking your things and having you wait around for them to sell in order to collect, they hand over the cash upfront. BE has outposts nationally, but the East Village outlet looks for trendy, seasonal pieces that are in good shape. It’s even a cute place to shop.

Best Tattoo Parlor for a Newbie: East Side Ink
97 Ave. B, betw. E. 6 & E. 7th Sts., 212-477-2060

Achieving legendary status as the leading tattoo parlor in New York in the 1990s, East Side Ink is a clean and unintimidating place, staffed by knowledgeable and exceptionally talented artists. The original shop was opened in 1992 by the highly regarded Andrea Elston, but nowadays, veteran tattoo-aficionados Josh Lord, Jen Terban and Yadira Mendez-Firvida run the show and include inking personalities big and small: Lord, Patrick Conlon, Mark Harada and Ethan Morgan. Over the years, some of the shop’s famous clientele has included Ozzy Osbourne, Woody Harrelson, Brian McKnight and Amy Winehouse. You might remember that about a year ago they got into a bit of trouble with the city for letting an unlicensed Rihanna tattoo her initials on to some of the shop’s eager artists—a health-code no-no that could have costed up to $2,000 in fines!

Best Shoe Repair According to a Drag Queen: Steve Express Shoe Repair
311 E. 14th St., betw. 1st & 2nd Aves., 212-228-9368

Sure, there are fancier shoe repair shops in the city, in trendier neighborhoods surrounded by fancy boutiques. But why would you want to pay an unnecessary $50 just to re-sole a heel? A hole-in-the-wall down a short flight of stairs, Steve’s is a secret favorite of shoe-abusing East Village drag queens. He can replace your soles, re-attach or straighten a heel (without using cheap glue—his work actually lasts) and perform all kinds of repairs for under $30 a pair. In fact, the only time our tipster paid more than $30 for a service was when the man crafted a high-heeled leather boot into a strappy sandal contraption, for a mere $60. Plus, he can fix watch bands and batteries, adjust your jewelry and even copy your keys! They don’t make ’em like this anymore.

Best Cheap Nail Salon That Won’t Give You Fungus: Tina’s Nail Salon
555 5th Ave., at 15th St., Brooklyn, 718-369-1908

Forget the red plastic covering the ceiling and the tacky hanging fixtures—Tina’s in South Park Slope is the best deal for mani-pedi pampering. For $12.50, you get a pedicure complete with a massage, and you can add on 10 more minutes for $10. Really, it’s just unheard of. Plus, the place is clean, the staff is friendly and the pedis are actually good.

Best Yuppie Marketplace: Eataly
200 5th Ave., at W. 23rd St., 646-398-5100

Once upon a time, the whole idea of grocery shopping was that you could buy and make food that would cost less than eating at a restaurant. That notion, dear reader, is completely outdated—but that’s not entirely a bad thing. At Eataly, the mammoth Italian grocery store and restaurant Deathstar in the shadow of the Flatiron building, owners Mario Batali and Joe and Lidia Bastianich stock the shelves with pricey pastas, sauces, meats and more, all designed for you to make a perfect meal at home, at only slightly less than it might cost to dine at a nice-ish Italian restaurant. While it’s not in our nature to pay upwards of $10 for a pound of fresh pasta or almost the same amount for a jar of sauce, there’s something about the store and what it promises that makes it seem (almost) OK. Perhaps it’s the bustling, authentic Italian feeling of what’s happening inside or maybe just the way that perfect-pasta guy grins while you try to decide if one portion of spinach ravioli is worth a night’s drinking money (it is), but spending too much on groceries here actually feels good. If you’re aching for the experience but don’t want to drop the cash, try going in for veggies—on a recent trip, they weren’t any more expensive than at the Associated.

Best Food Delivery: New York CSA & Organic Food Delivery

The locavore movement has annoyed us enough to yell at people who are perfectly nice—but want to keep us from eating our morning banana. But then there’s the idea of Community Supported Agriculture: cutting out the middleman and just buying fruit and veggies directly from the people making it. What could be wrong with that? It works by CSA members paying for an entire season of produce upfront as either “shares” or “half shares” and then showing up at a designated location and day to pick up your produce. Yes, it’s a little like hoity-toity peasantry, but it’s also a way to figure out how to experiment with strange tubers and other legumes you may never get up the courage to purchase on your own. And in the process of your 21st-century dietary explorations, you get to support people trying to make a living from the land.

Best Place to Buy CDs by Belgian Punk Bands: Generation Record
210 Thompson St., betw. Bleecker & 3rd Sts.

In an era when the definition of an album—does a download count?—is very much in dispute and even CDs are a vestige of the pre-Internet past, it’s nice to have a place where you can actually pick up music and hold it. While no record store—and Generation is not an exception—can compete with the encyclopedic variety (and low prices) of the Internet, its staff does an excellent job of culling through the new and old of obscure genres (Third Wave Ska, Psychobilly, Norwegian Death Metal), and you’re guaranteed to stumble on a record you didn’t know you needed.

Best Bespoke Bike Boutique: Adeline Adeline
147 Reade St., betw. Greenwich & Hudson Sts., 212-227-1150

Have bicycles really won the war of the city’s streets? While we still hate when they go the wrong way on the new bike paths, it has been great to see more and more people take to the roads and not end up roadkill. Now that we have bike-T-shirt collaborations and even cycle shops with coffee bars, it seems the trend may be here to stay. The cycle studs can have their testosterone-fueled havens; we’re throwing our support behind Adeline Adeline, a pleasant boite dedicated to bikes. Owner Julie Hirschfeld is in tune with what women want from bicycles. And it seems to be the cute accessories, along with the retro models (from $380 to $2,000—or more).

Best Place to Kick Your Tires: Downtown Auto Center
348 Bowery, at Great Jones St., 212-777-4848

What with always-heavy traffic, recessionary potholes, ever-diminishing free parking, battalions of quick-triggered meter maids and now floating bike lanes, Manhattan has become a little less friendly toward car owners—especially if they’re not blessed with a robber baron’s-size bank account. If you have been keeping a car anywhere near the East Village, however, at least you’ve been able to score quick and convenient servicing. Downtown Auto Center—which offers tire changes, inspections and minor repairs—has been operating from the same location, on Great Jones Street and the Bowery, for the last 50 years. But this charming patch of nostalgia has been reportedly purchased by a Miami-based luxury hotel chain—another victim of the Bowery’s super-gentrification. So you better get your oil changed quick.

OK, we admit that we’re certainly biased with this category since our editorial office is located right in the middle of the area north of Madison Square Park. We can totally go for grunge, but this neighborhood was a sad place to spend at least nine hours every day. We tripped over the haphazard hawkers lined up and down 28th Street, walked by the Oriental rug shops on Madison and eagerly awaited any new restaurant that tried to surface. We didn’t expect much to change in our daily work lives, but then the Ace Hotel opened and a bleak area of Manhattan finally became a destination. Unlike some dubious neighborhood titles, we even like the term Nomad for this unloved brown blot on the taxi map. With the recent inauguration of The Hurricane Club, a yuppie-Polynesian douche-pit, and the Gansevoort Park Avenue, however, we’re already feeling the gentrifier jitters. Could an area that had no identity suddenly cross over into a place to avoid so soon?

Best Magazine One-upmanship: Dueling New York and New Yorker Profiles

Maybe you trust the magazine awards and don’t question the absolute authority of our culture barometers, but this year gave thoughtful readers a chance to see what editors do and how easily a story can change when shaped with a different agenda in mind. New York magazine’s ongoing dark narrative promotes the seductive and destructive forces at work in the city, so Andrew Goldman’s July profile of David Koch in New York didn’t really do much in tearing him down. While Goldman revealed Koch’s moneyed schemes, like footing much of the bill for the Tea Party organizations (he called him “the Tea Party’s wallet”), it didn’t really press hard on his funding cancer research and hospitals while simultaneously creating the carcinogens that allegedly cause cancer. Then Jane Mayer’s Koch brothers story, titled “Covert Operations,” in The New Yorker, blew it away. That was followed by dueling Nick Denton profiles, with one side wallowing in vulgar exceptionalism and the other taking Denton to task while trying to locate a deeper motivation. As we continue to figure out the direction print media will go in a digital age, and the eroding of our trusted voices, we’ll need to continue to be more discerning readers, careful of the manipulation that is taking place. Now it’s your turn to decide which side to take.

Best Place to Freak Out Your Midwestern Friends: Sammy’s Roumanian
167 Chrystie St., betw. Delancey & Rivington Sts., 212-673-0330

This Downtown destination labels itself a “steak house,” but it’s really more of a vodka-soaked dinner-and-a-show kind of place. A safe haven for Eastern European Jews, Sammy’s combines schmaltz and kitsch with vodka frozen in blocks of ice and Kasha Varniskes. The live keyboardist holds sing-alongs throughout the night, and is happy to shout, “Goyim!” at any scared-looking WASPS. If you’re lucky, after the plates of liver and homages to Mel Brooks, the whole restaurant will break out in dance and your formerly scared pals will leave tipsy, happy and full. With stories to bring back home.

Best Place to Mourn Our Collapsed Economy: The Shuttered ESPN Zone in Times Square
Formerly at Broadway & W. 42nd Street.

Amidst one of the city’s densest tourist areas, the ultimate sports bar couldn’t survive. Where can one get a beer and a cheeseburger and check in on the game after dragging the kids through Toys R Us? Nowhere. The simplest of concepts was perhaps too simple for such a dollar-driven area. It’s a painful reminder that brand names mean nothing in this day and age. Perhaps ESPN should have thrown a few employees in Chris Berman/Stu Scott costumes or hired former NYC sports stars to sit in the lobby and spin yarns from the good ol’ days.

Best Second-Hand Surprises: Goodwill
217 W. 79th St., betw. Broadway & Amsterdam Ave., 212-874-5050

Unlike other city nabes, the Upper West Side isn’t flush with thrift shores, and in this economy, baby, we need ’em. You can go to Salvation Army on West 97th Street, which is, frankly, quite skanky, or Housing Works on Columbus—a bit too tony, but great steals on furniture and designer togs. Goodwill, however, offers a happy medium that won’t overwhelm. It organizes all clothing neatly by size and color, and you will always find surprises. To wit: a boy’s Gap dress shirt, perfect for bar mitzvah-hopping ($9.99); a green corduroy J. Crew jacket ($14.99); a chic gauzy girls’ top, great for wearing over leggings; a sterling bracelet with dangling hearts ($4.99); or six cheery red-and-white striped plastic popcorn holders, perfect for family movie night (50 cents each). And for those who haven’t abandoned the technologies of the 1980s, there are cassettes and classic VHS movies. In these tough times, one needs a reliable thrift store for last-minute Halloween costumes and expensive outerwear items like sweaters, jackets, snow pants and snow boots. Beat the chill at Goodwill and use the dollars you save to head someplace warm (they sell beach towels, too).

Best Untold Broadway Drama: Megan Mullally vs. Patton Oswalt

After her quickie appearance on Parks & Recreation, we were eagerly anticipating getting some quality Mullally time last spring in the Roundabout’s revival of Terence McNally’s Lips Together Teeth Apart. But she apparently didn’t feel the same way about co-star Patton Oswalt. The gossip blogs (and the New York Times) alluded to a Mullally ultimatum: Oswalt or her. Director Joe Mantello called her bluff and Mullally was out in a huff. Too bad the best thing to come out of last year’s Roundabout season took place behind the scenes.

Best Job We Didn’t Know Existed: Vegetable Butcher

Jennifer Rubell is the “vegetable butcher” at Eataly, according to co-owner Mario Batali. Didn’t know there was such a thing as a vegetable butcher? Neither did we. Rubell will peel your carrots for you. She’ll trim your artichokes (the only veggie that does make us feel like we’re tearing into something fleshy). She’ll make sure your pretty veggies that you’re paying a shitload for are even prettier, and you never even have to touch them. Who knew that New York could get that much crazier?

The Roof of Lincoln Center

Best Picnic Spot: Roof of Lincoln at Lincoln Center
142 W. 65th St., 212-359-6500

We don’t really plan to dine anytime soon at the super swanky Lincoln restaurant located alongside the reflecting pool and Henry Moore sculpture on the Lincoln Center campus. But the restaurant’s paraboloid roof is perfectly free. Planted with a special grass to compete with the swarms of visitors, the roof may seem like a gimmick, but the architecture firm of Diller, Scofidio + Renfroe understand how to create an enchanting space for people to enjoy on multiple levels (remember, they’re also behind the High Line). Take a walk on the roof and you’ll see that it is one of the most captivating and unusual views in the city. The best is at night, when you can peek into Alice Tully or Avery Fisher halls across 65th Street as the well-heeled promenade for you. Remember: They can’t see you.

Best Unusual Celebrity Spotting Destination: SPiN NYC
48 E. 23rd St., at Park Ave. South, 212-982-8802

While the ping-pong craze never fully materialized in other locations and the trend-that-never-was may have already passed, SPiN NYC remains the spot for table tennis enthusiasts and semi-pro diehards. It also continues to be the best place to have casual encounters with all sorts of celebrities on weeknights. It’s not uncommon to be sipping a drink at the bar and have co-owner Susan Sarandon saunter over, acting completely casual. Other TV actors and musicians are known to stop in for a quickie game or a chance to chill out, but it’s Sarandon who keeps us panting and wanting more.

Best Cool Space in a Meatpacking Building: Gasser & Grunert Gallery
524 W. 19th St., betw. 10th & 11th Aves., 212-807-9494

The starchitect development in the Meatpacking District may have slowed a bit, but there are still some bright spots to discover. Although Shigeru Ban’s Metal Shutter house is pretty much a snooze, the gallery located on the ground floor has proved to be a fascinating work in progress. Gasser & Grunert Gallery is still a large, raw concrete space that is just as much fun to visit as the exhibits on view. Artist Tim Roda took over the space earlier this year and created a strange world in the raw concrete play area. The subsequent exhibit, titled Games of Antiquities, was composed of photographs that showed the building populated in some sort of Roman spectacle with strange rituals, with some of the objects created on display. Sometimes it’s better to leave things alone and let the imagination take over.

Best Organization Making Downtown Cool: Lower Manhattan Cultural Council
www.lmcc.net

As much as we all want artists to prosper, it’s difficult for most to navigate the ins and outs of the city’s bureaucracy or figure out a way to gain any sort of traction if they do manage to surmount the many hurdles put in their way. That’s where an organization like the Lower Manhattan Cultural Council comes in. Keeping Downtown culture alive, LMCC provides grants for arts groups to collaborate with public education institutions as well as presenting work downtown to imbue overlooked spaces with vibrant energy. For example, choreographer Christopher Williams enacted his The Voyage of Garbhglas, based on Irish Faerie lore, at the Irish Hunger Memorial in Battery Park City. Even more ambitious, the 37,000-square-foot outdoor exhibition and performance space named LentSpace opened this summer and hosted rotating artworks commissioned by LMCC. The city is healthier (and wealthier) because of the hard work of organizations like this.

Ask any professional theater critic about the Fringe Fest, and you’re bound to get an eye-roll or a heavy sigh. The sprawling annual theater festival is increasingly a tedious exercise in public masturbation for its performers, most of which isn’t even titillating. The one-person shows are usually pretty dreary, but that’s not to say that shows with casts of two and up are much better. With some of the most reasonably priced tickets in Manhattan (and plenty of press every year), it’s no wonder that theatergoing dilettantes whose only exposure to theater is the Fringe don’t see more shows.

Best Contemporary Art Show: Anne Collier

New York-based artist Anne Collier lands this year’s best gallery show, hands down, for her eponymous exhibition this January at Anton Kern. The show was comprised mostly of photography, with books opened to pages with sunsets lining the gallery. There was also a black-and-white photo of an eye, with a frame resembling a tear duct and an image of a paper cutter slicing that eye. The show is a little aggressive in its demand that the gallery-goer contemplates the act of looking, but it’s an attribute we like. Looking at art shouldn’t always be easy.

Best Off-Off-Broadway Show: Now Circa Then

A comedy about historical re-enactors at the Lower East Side’s Tenement Museum, Carly Mensch’s two-hander is as close to theatrical perfection as you’re likely to find. The production at Ars Nova sparkled, from Jason Eagan’s direction to Lauren Halpern’s densely detailed set design to the hilarious and poignant performances from Stephen Plunkett and Maureen Sebastian. With even Off-Broadway shows increasingly overblown, what a pleasure it was to sit down and find the focus shifted from high concepts to just telling a great tale.

Best Usher: Jack Donoghue at Theatre Row

He’s there almost every night, taking tickets and directing you to your floor, and if you attend shows at Theatre Row with any frequency, chances are Jack Donoghue will remember you. His friendliness is never more welcome than shortly after being forced to interact with the bored and impatient ushers of Broadway theaters—particularly that nasty one at The Schoenfeld.

Best Indie Movie Theater: IFC Center
323 6th Ave., at W. 3rd St., 212-924-7771

Just over five years into its existence, the IFC Center continues to offer some of the best new art house releases along with an ever-expanding schedule of events. The latest addition to its repertoire is a full-on film festival: DOC NYC, a documentary showcase co-founded by Thom Powers, the documentary programmer for the Toronto International Film Festival whose other duties at the IFC Center include its Stranger than Fiction series. Also coming up: The 330-minute Special Roadshow Edition of Olivier Assayas’s terrorist chronicle Carlos and famed director Claude Chabrol’s final film, Inspector Bellamy.

Best Rescue Work: So Help Me God!

Whether Maurine Dallas Watkins’ lost 1920s play So Help Me God! is actually a great play or star Kristen Johnston elevated it to higher heights is beside the point: Few plays last year were as vicious, tart and unrelentingly cynical than The Mint’s production of this show about a bitchy theatrical diva and the up-and-comer who threatens to usurp her. With so many Off-Broadway plays enjoying unnecessary transfers to Broadway, this is the one that got lost in the shuffle. Again.

John Baldessari at the MET.

Best Museum Show: John Baldessari
The Metropolitan Museum of Art, 1000 5th Ave., at E. 82nd St., 212-535-7710

This show just opened at The Met last week, but having seen it already at the Tate Modern last year in London, we think this is an easy call. John Baldessari spent a lifetime establishing rules for his own art-making practice, and making art that followed those guidelines. In a time when the criteria for what constitutes good contemporary art seems increasingly vague, this show couldn’t offer a more timely antidote.

Best Venue For Parties: The Hudson Hotel

The era of the great disco dance palaces is long gone. Lately, some of the best parties have taken up residence at the Hudson Hotel. With the sprawling Good Units down in the bowels of the place, a monthly party like Susanne Bartsch’s Bloody Mary can pack in a huge crowd. Upstairs, there are regular weekly parties in the Hudson Library and the Hudson Bar, on the other side of the hotel. The Private Park is in the courtyard of the lobby and the setting for many a private party during the summer, and even better is the rooftop Sky Terrace on the 15th floor, complete with glittering views of the city. The security staff at the Hudson is over-zealous and even thuggish, but then again, a lot of drunks are wandering the hallways looking for a party.

Best Non-Profit Art Initiative: Triple Candie
500 W. 148th St., at Amsterdam Ave., 212-368-3333

Harlem’s Triple Candie offers perhaps the city’s most direct push back to the dominating force of the art market: Not only does the gallery refuse to sell art, it also no longer exhibits work. Owners Shelley Bancroft and Peter Nesbet focus instead on engaging a lower-income-class community typically located outside of fine art circles. A unique and laudable outgrowth of New York’s vibrant non-profit art scene.

Hudson Hotel

Best Comedy Series: Lasers In The Jungle

Producers Carol Hartsell and Sean Crespo and host Dan Wilbur have certainly outdone themselves with Lasers in the Jungle, their weekly comedy series on Thursday nights at Luca Lounge. Where else can you see SNL’s John Mulaney try out new material, Community’s Donald Glover do a last-minute drop-in set or The Daily Show’s Wyatt Cenac do 15 minutes of comedy in an audience member’s lap? All for free, no less.

Best NYC-Based Film Festival: New York Film Festival

After last year’s firestorm of criticism for offering up an insular program only accessible to diehard cinephiles, NYFF bounced back in style with a healthy blend of high profile premieres (The Social Network, The Tempest, Hereafter) and small-scale discoveries from the festival circuit. It’s still Lincoln Center, which means the prestige factor remains firmly in place with the latest offerings from Jean Luc-Godard and Abbas Kiarostami, but they now share the stage with the likes of Clint Eastwood and Jesse Eisenberg—a healthy cinematic diversity that should help sustain an image for the festival that’s aiming to feel both literate and contemporary.

Head west, young man (and woman), and you will find a gem of a wine bar. The Tangled Vine opened last March with wine director Evan Spingarn in charge of the heavy menu laden with organic, biodynamic and sustainable wines, mainly from France, Spain, Austria, Germany and Italy. Not only are the servers and bartenders eager to help you choose a drink, the book of wine is set up in such a way that it’s actually easy to translate. You have reds, whites, rosés and bubbly listed not by price or region, but by dryness. And, if you fancy a real adventure, sample something you’ve never heard of before, like the rueda or refosco.

Best Eatery to Trick You Into Thinking You’re In Middle America: The Pop Tarts Store
West 42nd St., betw. 6th & 7th Aves.

Just a stone’s throw from the trappings of Bryant Park rests a monument to convenience and processed food that seems better suited for Minnesota’s Mall of America: the Pop Tarts Store. So dubious they wouldn’t even let it into Times Square proper, this barren outlet exists, it seems, only to hoist the vile sushi-flavored pop tart upon the world.

Best Place to Eat Green: Blossom Restaurant
187 9th Ave., betw. W. 21st & W. 22nd Sts., 212-627-1144

A restaurant can’t get more self-righteous and preachy than local, organic, kosher, vegan fare offered at a 15-percent discount to members of the Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary. A crunchy version of upscale dining (no entrée clocks in at less than $18), Blossom Restaurant serves up good eating, even if you thought seitan was the lord of hell, not the vegetarian wheat meat. As you sign the exorbitant check, feel that congratulatory tingle of being more environmentally conscious then your fine-dining brethren.

Best, Worst and Only Burmese Restaurant in Manhattan: Café Mingala
1393B 2nd Ave., betw. E. 72nd & E. 73rd Sts., 212-744-8008

“Unpretentious” is not a word we normally find ourselves using on the Upper East Side, but the vibe at Café Mingala is just that. Since Burma is bordered by China, India and Thailand (among others), you can feel worldly without suffering through some horrific Pan-Asian yuppie echo-box ordeal. Try the addictively tangy Mango Chicken/Beef or the crispy Gold Sesame Chicken/Pork Stick with sweet chili sauce—and don’t skip dessert! If you can get past its soggy-cereal appearance, the Thousand Layer Bread, a sweet, scallion-free riff on Chinese scallion pancakes, is worth feeling like the fattest person north of 59th Street.

Best Place to Eat Before a Show, Manhattan: Benny’s Burritos
93 Ave. A, at E. 6th St., 212-254-3286

Pop Quiz: That show at Cake Shop doesn’t start for an hour and the opener kind of sucks, anyway. What do you do? If you’ve got half a brain, you’ll drag your lazy ass to Benny’s Burritos on Avenue A. If the restaurant just had $4 margaritas, that would be enough of a reason to go. But Benny’s also has something approaching real, reasonably priced food. It’s a revelation on the LES, which is otherwise stuffed with overpriced crap for condo-dwellers. By the time you sit down and enjoy a Chicken Mole Ole burrito and frosty beverage, you’ll be right on schedule to go back and enjoy the headliner.

Best Chinatown Greasy Spoon to Wait Behind Bums for Hangover-Killing Food: Wah Fung No. 1 Fast Food
79 Chrystie St., betw. Canal & Hester Sts., 212-925-5175

Benders usually leave us broke, broken men. But come red-eyed morning, we like to pull together a fistful of quarters and queue up behind downtown bums for Chinatown’s porkiest bargain. Just $2.50 buys a brick-size (and –heavy) portion of fatty, caramelized roast pork as crunchy as candy. It’s as much medicine as aspirin.

Best Way To Enjoy Fried Pastrami: Bea’s Empanadas
Eisenberg’s Sandwich Shop, 174 5th Ave., betw. W. 22nd & W. 23rd Sts., 212-675-5096.

We’ve had the pastrami egg rolls at FoodParc and heard all about the rye-and-pastrami croissant at Momofuku Milk Bar, but for our money, the best fried meat in town comes from Bea, the friendliest waitress at Flatiron lunch spot Eisenberg’s. She mixes pastrami, olives, peppers and onions, shoves it all inside of dough and serves the oversized, deep-fried gut bombs with a spicy garlic dipping sauce. It’s enough to leave you asking, Reuben who?

Best Street Meat Worth Waiting in Line Beside 25 Clueless Tourists: 53rd and Sixth Halal Cart
West 53rd Street & Sixth Avenue

We’re addicted to this corner cart’s creamy white sauce and tender chicken, which also attracts tourists like moths to light. Silently, and often vocally, we curse the Spaniards and French queued in front of us, until the moment comes when we can mutter these words: “chicken, rice, white sauce, hot sauce.”

Best Use of Carbohydrates, Chinatown Edition: A-Wah
5 Catherine St., betw. Division St. & Broadway, 212-925-8308

We’ve never had carbohydrates quite like this Hong Kong–style joint’s “world famous rice in casserole.” A heap of fluffy rice is tossed into a clay pot, crowned with toppings (we like the mushroom trio), then cooked till crisp, steamy and flavor-infused. Finish it with sweet soy sauce for a bowl-scraping feast.

Best Freebie Bar Snack: Bacon Maple Popcorn at South Houston
331 W. Broadway, at Grand St., 212-431-0131

Offering patrons free pretzels, nuts, wings and even tatertots is old hat. Enter brown sugar and bacon-coated popcorn, fresh from the kitchen and oozing sweet-savory goodness—and gratis to boot. At SoHo’s new sports bar South Houston, they treat you to a metal bucketful of this sinful snack, which is perfect to help coat your belly before you have too many of their potent cocktails, like the Grand Street Manhattan or the cool and refreshing Martini Cochon. You might not want to get seconds if you have meal plans later; you’re likely to ruin your dinner.

Best Place to Go After You’ve Been Dumped: The Donut Pub
203 W. 14th St., betw. 7th & 8th Aves., 212-929-0126

For those breakups that leave you too blue for even a bartender to psychoanalyze, plant yourself at a stool in this Formica bar and bury your woes in a red velvet donut and a cup of joe. Watch the light in the window to know when the donuts are fresh, and don’t worry if it’s difficult to pick just one: at $1.10 a pop, you won’t have to. Since 1964, the Donut Pub has been mending hearts and filling stomachs 24 hours a day. So stop in to satisfy some late night drunchies and maybe meet your next great love over a black-and-white cookie.

Best Hero to Make You Rethink Deli Meat: Torrisi Italian Specialties
250 Mulberry St., at Prince St., 212-965-0955

To us, a turkey sandwich is elementary-school sustenance. To Torrisi, it’s art. The herbaceous, mouth-stretching masterpiece begins with Parisi Bakery bread, which is stuffed with house-roasted turkey (glazed with garlic, herbs and honey), shaved lettuce, wisps of red onion, tomato, mayo and piquant sauce so good, we lick the wrapper clean.

Best Unfancy Sandwich: This Way from This Little Piggy Had Roast Beef
149 1st Ave., betw. E. 9th & E. 10th Sts., 212-253-1500

Piles of thinly sliced roast beef on a fresh, eggy bun with a slathering of Cheez Whiz for only $5.50 is exactly what makes this the best meaty sandwich around. Though This Little Piggy Had Roast Beef came at a time when Brooklyn’s Mile End was getting all the glory, the sheer convenience of this joint in the bustling East Village and its deli-like prices trump the Canadian competition. Of course, we aren’t surprised owners of the delicious fatty food havens Artichoke and Led Zeppole did their meat sandwiches right—they have the heart attack cuisine cornered and we’re forever grateful.

Best Popsicle: Chocolate Gelato at Popbar

5 Carmine St., at 6th Ave., 212-255-4874

Remember when you were a kid and your mom placated you with Jell-O Pudding Pops? The chocolate gelato bar at Popbar has the same rich, creamy texture and deep cocoa flavor, but unlike the corn syrup-filled treat of childhood, the pure, high-quality chocolate in this bar is imported from Italy and there are no artificial flavors added.

Best Dessert That Could Be a Meal: Crème Brulee di Parmigiano Peggiano at Perbacco
234 E. 4th St., betw. Aves. A & B, 212-253-2038

Hidden among classic Italian dishes like ravioli and risotto, Chef Simone Bonelli has included some gastronomic surprises in the menu at Perbacco in the East Village. Perhaps most stunning is the crème brulee di Parmigiano Reggiano, an appetizer that pretends to be a dessert that actually tastes like a savory meal. The dish is made with 18-month aged cheese, but, instead of caramelizing sugar on top of the mixture like a normal crème brulee, Bonelli uses a 12-year-old aged balsamic vinegar. When you dip into it, make sure to scoop from top to bottom so the burst of creamy cheese goodness will play off of the sweet crunch of the hardened vinegar.

Best Coffee Shop For Killing Time: Birch
The Gershwin Hotel, 5 E. 27th St., betw. 5th & Madison Aves., 212-686-1444

Sure, people crowd about Stumptown in The Ace Hotel, but only two blocks away lies the true hidden treasure of New York hotel caffeine dispensors: Birch. Between serving their own fair trade coffee and delicious baked goods (big ups to the goat-cheese-and-apple muffin) and doling out other fine drinks (like the best peppermint iced tea in town), the shop also lures us in with a menu of real food, plenty of seating and a big take-a-book, leave-a-book library on the second floor that could easily be one of the most magical rooms in town—there’s enough to do here to kill an entire day without working at all.

Best Burger And Drink In One: M&M Burger at Rare Bar & Grill
152 W. 26th St., betw. 6th & 7th Aves., 212-807-7273

While the fancy environs of Rare might not normally attract our sort, the meat mecca, which features a pretty kick-ass rooftop bar, is home to the $15 M&M burger, a gigantic hunk of meat that, just like us, is sloshed with Maker’s Mark (then cooked). The burger differentiates itself by hiding beneath carmelized shallots, cheddar cheese and applewood-smoked bacon, making it well worth braving the inside of a building called The Fashion 26 Hotel for this boozy beast of a burger.

Best Way to Beef Up For Winter: Baked by Melissa
7 E. 14th St., betw. 5th Ave. & University Pl., 212-842-0220

It only takes a bit of one of Baked By Melissa’s compact cupcakes to understand that the treat isn’t a gimmick, but a game-changer. Pop one of those frosting-topped babies, chew and just wait for it. The tiny-ness of Melissa’s cupcakes account for keeping them moist, more so than any of their full-sized competitors, and with a perfect butter-sugar ratio that always manages to surprise. Additionally, Baked By Melissa ensures at least one flavor that all your friends will like, without being flavor-happy like Crumbs; they only stick with what works.