Canadian Crush

Written by Jason Singer on . Posted in Posts, Sports.


Canada has never been very good at anything. Sure, their Eskimos make pretty good igloos and sure, their provinces would be great for Scrabble if proper nouns were allowed (Saskatchewan and Quebec, anyone?), but other than that, Canada’s quite lame. Except, of course, for hockey, and the Toronto Maple Leafs did their best to keep that stereotype afloat last night, hammering the New York Islanders 8-1 at the Air Canada Centre.

Backup goaltender Wade Dubielewicz, filling in for All-Star Rick DiPietro who needed a rest after playing the first four contests of the season, allowed eight goals while being bombarded with 42 shots. Despite the porous defense, it was one of the worst goaltending performances in recent memory. “It was embarrassing,” he said. “The effort just wasn’t there—from me on out.”

Despite the loss, the Islanders (3-2) still managed to hold onto first place in the Atlantic Division, mostly because no one else other than the New Jersey Devils have played more than three games in their division, while the Islanders have played five. Regardless, they should be fine as long as they keep Dubielewicz away from the net for the rest of the season. Wow. I haven’t seen anything that ugly since Michael Jackson got a nose job and bleached his skin (pictured).

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