Bombing In The Bronx

Written by Jason Singer on . Posted in Posts, Sports.


Just 15 days ago, The New York Times’ Murray Chass predicted that “at the rate at which the Yankees are slashing into Boston’s lead in the American League East, they will pass the Red Sox in the standings by July 4.” Brilliant, brilliant prediction, Mr. Chass. You have shown a level of foresight only equaled in ineptitude by President Bush’s “mission accomplished” declaration in 2003.

With last night’s loss to the lowly Baltimore Orioles, the Bronx Bombers have dropped three straight games and six out of their last seven. They now sit 11 games behind the Red Sox in the American League East and one game behind the perennially irrelevant Toronto Blue Jays for second. Their $100 million lineup couldn’t hit water if they fell off a boat, first baseman Jason Giambi is currently being anally raped by George Mitchell at an undisclosed location somewhere in the South Pacific, and pitcher Scott Proctor’s control decided to take a summer-long vacation. Maybe Mr. Chass meant July 4, 2008?

(By the way, "anally raped" is a euphemism for "being interrogated," in case you’re horribly offended.)

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