Bash Compactor: You Can't Do That On Television
The recent announcement that Vice magazine would partner with MTV for a new show called The Vice Guide to Everything came as a surprise to some and a disappointment to others. Vice managed to wield some of the same power as mainstream publications by acting as un-mainstream as possible. So when the announcement came that the Williamsburg-based media company was partnering with MTV, the first question was Why? has always been outlet with its finger on the pulse of interesting and trenchant materialwell, one finger some of the others were probably busywithout the hindrances that prevent the mainstream media from producing quality content.
For MTV, aligning with Vice has obvious benefits, namely the potential to restore a certain degree of edginess to the network, the kind it hasnt had since the early 90s. But what does Vice have to gain from colluding MTV? Perhaps in this case, the best answer is the most obvious.
Last night, Vice held a sneak peek screening of the new series at Landmark Sunshine of the first two episodes of the Vice Guide to Everything. Celebrities and influencers showed up for the event and, like always, everyone came dressed his best to avoid any possibility of showing up on the wrong page of the next issue.
Swilling down complimentary Sailor Jerry Rum, the crowd made its way into the theater, greeted by series host and Vice honcho Shane Smith who, we were told, had just gotten off a plane coming home from Afghanistan. Smith warned that he was full of Xanax, and explained that their already had been an MTV show called The Vice Show years back that was all about kids whod destroyed their lives through sex and drugsin a bad way.
The show got off to a good start by way of a theme song, the seminal oi anthem by Sham 69, If the Kids Are United. Then the show began with a qualification of sorts: When we first started Vice, all we cared about was sex and drugs now we like news, or something to that effect
The first segment takes place in Yemen where Smith and Spike Jonze, in attendance with his mom, set out to try and gauge whether the speculation of a heightened Al Qaeda presence is legitimate. In order to do so, they had to partake in the chewing the local drug of choice, gat, a narcotic that gets Spike Jonze really, really high. They found out that people in Yemen think Al Qaeda is a Saudi issue, that all problems are a result of Zionism and, finally, that Al Qaeda is actually an arm of The American military agenda.
However, when the duo has a gat-free conversation with some young skateboarders, they are told that there is no Al Qaeda presence in Yemen. Later in the show, the same skateboard kids talk about what its like dating women who wear burqas. According to the lead skate kid, one can tell by the eyes if a girl is pretty: pretty eyes mean not pretty and not pretty eyes means pretty. Sounds strange to me but the kid seemed to know what he was talking about.
Other segments included an amusement park style re-enactment of what its like to try and cross the American border from Mexico, fake pop stars that mobsters keep as pets in Naples and a Russian mob boss who produces a TV show based on his crimes. Perhaps the most notable segment took place here the States, specifically Detroit, where a guy named Jay Thunderbolt runs a strip club out of his house. Host Ryan Duffy goes to experience the club, first sitting down with Thunderbolt, a guy with more bullet and stab wounds than any rapper, to be warned not to lick or stick any of the girls. The girls will destroy you, Thunderbolt says.
Some might consider the MTV-Vice marriage to be an unholy one. After all, Vice always sort of represented the misfit contingent inside the mainstream, but The Vice Guide to Everything is exceedingly funny and poignant. The hosts motivations tend to be solely based on telling the story and having fun, all the other affectations and put-ons common to the news media are absent in this show, which usually accounts for the laughs. Vice tells the fascinating stories that no one else will, and if MTV gives these kids the resources to better do that, then it might be worthwhile.