Bash Compactor: Recession Fuckers

Written by Jordan Galloway on . Posted in Bash Compactor, Posts.

Broke-Ass Stuart left San Francisco for New York last week and brought the circus with him.
Stuart, the West Coast writer whose books and website serve as guides to all things cheap for those living it up in the city, played ringmaster for the East Coast reincarnation of his “Fuck the Recession Party” last Thursday at Rebel because “basically a lot of people got nailed by the recession” and what better way to fuck it than by offering free drinks and entertainment for the people?

Delivering on his promise of a night of alcohol fueled revelry, Stuart offered those in attendance a den of debauched revelry in which to escape their financial misfortunes, reminding people that just because they might be broke doesn’t mean they can’t still have a good time. The crowd enjoyed music sets from Danielle Parente, The Children of Technicolor, Thought and Vicio and beats from Brina Payne along with a slue of Big Top entertainment like The Amazing Amy, crowd-favorite contortionist, TOPAZ, chanteuse extraordinaire, who offered free advice and an exhibition of lubes, lotions and pleasure devices from her sex advice booth and Michelle Bloom who gave guests glimpses at their future with tarot card readings. Nate Hill and his Club Animals offered free bouncy rides and Miss Ricci, clad in her green fairy costume, worked the crowed taking request for her balloon animal creations.

But by far the hottest moments of the night came from the ladies playing with fire. Madame Burnz, Squiddie and Ali Luminescent entertained the crowd with fire hoops and flame dancing. When Burnz wasn’t downstairs performing or eating fire in the cages over the dance floor she was entrancing onlookers and relaxing the willing with her fire massages in the upstairs lounge. Everything was rather tame and, with the exception of a few shirtless men, volunteers on whom Burnz exhibited the relaxing qualities of fire and flame chose to keep their clothes on rather due to a case of stage fright or fear of singed skin; however, modesty went out the window after one partygoer took off her top exposed both a nipple ring and a bumper sticker emblazed with the motto of the party—“You Are Young Beautiful and Broke”—and shouted: “I can’t believe I’m showing my tits to a room of strangers. I’m a fucking porn star,” before succumbing to Burnz flame work and drawing a packed house to the upper level or the bar.