Bash Compactor: God Save Her

Epiphany Get Paid is a piece of work. The breathtakingly gorgeous drag queen arrived here from San Diego in 2004 and immediately began plying her shamelessly zany antics all over town. This is a chick with a brain and maybe a dick, too. But how is Epiphany getting paid and for what? I was curious enough to visit the opening night of Royal Bitch, her solo show at Queen Vic, a new faux dive bar on Second Avenue that serves British grub.

What’s up with her name, I asked with a suggestive sneer. A small group was trickling in to take seats at the tables and bar. “I was talking to some queens about having an epiphany and I figured, Hey, that’s a good name. ‘Get Paid’ came about thanks to Facebook requiring a last name,” Epiphany said.

Soon enough, Logan Slaughter and another drag queen friend arrived and plopped down in front of the fireplace. Showtime! Epiphany got up at the mic and proceeded to make fun of me. “Every time I see Gerry Visco, she’s drunk!” she lied. I let her have her fun.

“Anyone here ever do any sex work?” she asked us. No one replied. Epiphany proceeded to tell some wild tales and regale us with her recent exploits in Berlin at the notorious Chantal’s House of Shame. She sang a few standards, not lip-syncing but in her own voice, which is good. But this was no chintzy-ass drag queen show. Epiphany took the mic and went out on the sidewalk, despite the 30-degree temperature, and sang in the middle of Second Avenue, taxis whizzing by her, her red locks whipping in the wind. The windows of the bar were open so we could hear her warbling out on the street. “Hey handsome, come on in,” she coaxed a bemused German tourist. “I just got back from the fatherland,” she wheedled.

Back inside, she announced, “And let’s all give a hand to Miss Logan Slaughter!” Slaughter is known for doing the splits on command, and she wasted no time in showing off for what was rapidly becoming a full house. Logan lip synced for a bit and then raced outside to jump on top of the telephone booth, dangling her shapely legs over the side. I didn’t know I was going to the circus, but that’s the kind of unpredictability Epiphany Get Paid will provide. If you want some mashers, bangers and a big pair of knockers, get thee down to Royal Bitch.