Bash Compactor: Cutting Up

Written by Matt Harvey on . Posted in Bash Compactor, Posts.

No one in the audience for Joan Rivers’ raunchy stand-up routine last Tuesday night—the final night for Flatiron favorite the Cutting Room—confused it with her mild family-friendly pre-red carpet act on E!. When I squeezed into the packed room, the cosmetically preserved comedienne was comparing Caroline Kennedy to a horse.

She then complained about having to watch

fat people wash; while the crowd booed and hissed, a thin, bald man turned to look at the woman sitting next to him with concern— she was over 300 pounds and not laughing.

“I fucking hate ugly people, don’t you?” Rivers pushed on. “If Jesus loves fat Christians so much, how come he doesn’t give them a chin?” By the time Rivers turned her acid tongue to the Jews, my porky new pal was laughing up storm.

Dominic Chianese, Junior of The Sopranos fame—a crooner in his own right—was at the party. “I’m very sad [about the club closing] because I’m a New Yorker, but you move on. Something else will happen,”he said.And it did: Just then, girl-group idol Ronnie Spector ambled by sporting a fetching new hairdo.

Elsewhere, May Pang, John Lennon’s secondmost-famous Asian lover, was also sad about the space closing. Her favorite night there? “My 50th birthday, Art Garfunkel and Phoebe Snow got up to sing.” Of course, the hardest hit by the closing is the owner, pony-tailed Steve Walters. It still seemed a shock to him that the landlord wanted three times the rent Walters was paying. “I don´t know what they want, we were under scaffolding for six years,” he said. “He has so much money he just doesn’t care.” Rivers looked tired—not old—after her set. Pushing back her bottle-blond hair, she got feisty when discussing the club’s demise.

“It’s a shonde, as the Jews say. The landlord should be drawn and quartered.” For once, she looked dead serious.