
With everyone wanting to make a fool of themselves on reality TV these
days, it only makes sense that the silliness of the '70s game show,
The Gong Show, would have a resurgence. In New York alone, there’s
The Gong Show organized by Horse Trade Theater the third Thursday of every month and, recently, Dana Sterling started a
Gong Show at Arlene’s Grocery. And let’s not forget the
Falun Gong show, even if it’s not the kind of Gong Show I’m talking about. Plus, when the gong is struck at the
Orchid Lounge, everyone gets a free shot on the house.
Last week, I went to the newest iteration at
Arlene’s Grocery for a
fantastically surreal experience. I’m a little too young to have seen
the original program on TV, but when I stepped into the LES bar, I
walked into a fictional world where everyone becomes a two-dimensional
character on some sort of show. If they're not a vicious, narcissistic
(or horny) judge, then they're a crazed audience member shouting “take
off your pants!” to every performer on stage. It's really just a
trumped up talent show, with a judge who strikes the gong if they hate
an act. Audience members vote for one of the finalists whom the judges
choose.
As I took a seat, a minstrel named
Captain Zorikh
in a kilt with a guitar strapped to him came over and kissed my hand
and asked me to please vote for him when it came time for audience’s
favorites. Then he gave me his card, which looks something like a
Magic The Gathering
game card. On the front, it says “The Bard.” On the back, after
stating his race, height, weight, class, alignment (“vertically
symmetrical,” natch), and weapons, it reads: “Whether in the far-flung
future or the dimly remembered past, his powerful voice and dry wit has
brought a smile to the lips and a tear to the eye of many a hardened
warrior and lovely lass.”
Dana Sterling, the woman who brought us
Amateur Female Jello Wrestling, has managed to attract an eclectic contingent of folks full of pretend perviness...
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